Happy New Year, 2007!

This has been a different New Year's Eve for us. We stayed home while our grown children and their wives went to a party. Now the grandparents, we stayed with the grandkids. After all, we had parents to do that for us on many NYE and now its our turn. We played with playdough, arranged a big wooden puzzle of the United States, watched "Shrek", read the Mother Goose Nursery Rhyme boardbook for the umpteenth time, bathed little bodies, served up milk and then put them to bed. Ahh! What a nice feeling of accomplishment.

After the children were alseep all snug in their beds, I thought that Kim and I would at least stay up to watch "the ball" drop on TV and sip a little champagne at the stroke of midnight. I thought we'd give each other a big kiss, toast in the New Year and wish each other health, happiness and prosperity. Well, what actually happened was Kim gave it up at 11:20. I watched Garrison Keillor with the Prairie Home Companion show on channel 8 while the chilled champagne remained corked in the refridgerator. When Garrison began to sing "Auld Lang Syne" at the stroke of midnight, I sipped a room temperature Merlot alone. I decided that I'd at least get my kiss and slipped into the bedroom to find Kim asleep, plugged into his iPod. So, I tiptoed to his side, leaned down, and gave him a little peck on his check. He wriggled his nose and turned over. "Happy New Year!" I whispered.

I'm not complaining because I got to babysit with my two precious grandchildren on NYE, 2007.

2006 Blog Overview

My friend posted on her blog, a neat little way to recap her year of blogs. So I gave it a try. What I've done is to take the first post of each month in 2006 and copy the last sentence of the entry. I cheated a little bit though because I decided that the last sentence didn't tell enough. Here's how mine came out:
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One of the characters in the "Traveling Pants" story put it something like this, "...isn't trying not to be sad (about your mother’s death) harder than just letting yourself be sad?" I would have to agree.

What better way to learn about growing relationships with our students than to first grow them in each other?

Spring is here and it is just the right time to rejuvenate myself.
Next weekend maybe I'll get a pedicure and a manicure...oh heck, maybe even a massage. :-)

My days of teaching are numbered and I won't be sad to see this year end. So turn up the CD player so I can listen to the music of lazy days. I'm ready.

Please pray for this awful disease to be conquered. It truly is a matter of Life or Death.

Oh, what do you know? Then it WOULD be breakfast. Or as my movie chef said, "a late night sandwich." yum!__"...here is my handle, here is my spout."

They then sent my password to my email and I was able to retrieve my blog and posts. __Happy blogging. :-)

I am grateful to everyone that made this 54 year old feel loved.

In the meantime, I have to clean house, wash clothes, plan lessons and grade papers. Labor Day, 2006...a sunny Saturday for my sanity.

My mom's little black dress is a precious treasure I hope to keep until it can be passed on to the next generation.

However, in the end, I am always glad I can say those two kinder words, “I’m sorry.”

With God’s blessing, my sons’ families will bring a warmth and happiness to Christmas that will satisfy my longing for the season. __Happy Holidays to all of my readers…whoever you are.

Joy and Peace in 2007

Merry Christmas Day

Here it is. It finally got here. Christmas Day! uhmm, :-| not the excitement it used to be. That little tree behaves the way I'm sure thousands of kids are feeling this morning...a tad hyper! However, for me, I'm sitting here with my black cat, Baby, at my side, husband still in bed (well, some things never change!) and coffee waiting for me to pour a cup.

It was last night, Christmas Eve as a matter of fact, before I put any decorations up around my house. That elfin Christmas tree my son left in our garage worked out nicely. As I pulled it out of the box, assembled the top and bottom together and placed it atop the coffee table, it reminded me of "A Charlie Brown Christmas". But with a string of lights and some ornaments, it didn't look half bad. I think it might even be singing a carol like the funny tree on this post. "Oh, Christmas Tree, oh, Christmas Tree"...

After I decorated the tree, I hung the family stockings, with care of course, over the fireplace. The red stockings I've decorated and made additions to with each new family member over the years, has already been filled with an assortment of trinkets and treats, waiting to be revealed. I have to admit, Christmas stockings hanging over my three snowmen on the hearth, makes a cozy sight.

Today, Kim and I will load up our meager offerings and join his family at his brother's house. It'll be nice to visit, share a meal, and exchange a gift. This year we decided not to draw names, but have gifts unlike last year with no gifts at all. So, it was my idea that we each bring one gift that centered around a theme of some sort. You know, what kind of Christmas is it without presents? Well, the theme that was decided by the siblings was "books". Books. uhm. :-| Not what I had in mind, but its something. Let's just say that I've warmed to the idea. When it comes to a reading family, the one I married into are junkies of the printed word. They consume books like a vacuum. On the other hand, I read for information, not pleasure. Okay, that isn't entirely true. Sometimes I read for pleasure, but not as a natural exercise. I have to preplan and preview many offerings before I will settle on just the right context to devour hours of my time. No, I don't take reading a book for pleasure lightly. In fact, I would say that one of the big accomplishments of my adulthood has been actually finishing more than one novel cover to cover.

Tomorrow our three sons and their wives and our two grandkids will be here for our "Day After Christmas Day" celebration with our own family. It will be so much fun to listen to my boys "cut-up" and exchange witty, often intelligent, banter between each other. It fills my heart with love and joy to see those three men together, happily talking and being brothers. That will make this Christmas delay worth the wait. In addition to that, my grandchildren will be playing, running, laughing and opening another round of presents. It is going to be so much fun that my mouth is upturned just thinking about it!

Wherever you are, whenever you celebrate, I pray that you are with someone you love.
Happy Holidays!

If I Could Not Fail

Last night a good friend of mine handed me a Christmas present. It was an adorable wall ornament which pictured a beautiful fairy sitting on a quarter moon holding a little blue bird. A question was inscribed on the moon that asked, "What would you attempt if you knew you would not fail?"

Quite a thought provoking question ignited my imagination. What would I attempt? At first I invisioned myself sitting at a baby grand piano playing for a concert hall full of admiring people. Then, I heard myself singing a beautiful song and thrilling my audiences. Then, I stopped and broaden my expectations as I remembered that "...I would not fail." If I knew going in that I couldn't fail, then I could do absolutely anything. Anything! The answers to the question were infinite.

Then, the solution came to me in a flash. Cancer. I would find a cure for cancer and wipe out a disease that seems to have plagued our popoulation like a...well, like a cancer. Yes, that would be my task to attempt if I knew I would not fail. Rid our destitute world of cancer.

Although, I've no aptitude for science, I should be more realistic in my answer. So, I should rethink the question. "What would you attempt if you knew you would not fail?" Realistically, I know I can pray and not fail. Just as Jesus prayed, "Holy Father, protect them by the power of your name..." He continued to pray, "My prayer is not that you take them out of the world but that you protect them from the evil one." Jesus' prayer was not for protection from disease, but from "the evil one." But I desperately want a cure be found to rid our undeserving world of cancer, aids, Alzheimer's disease and so many more adnormalities and imperfections here on earth. Ah, there it is. "...on earth."

Jesus prayed not for us to be taken out of the world (with it's disease) but for protection from the evil one. I don't know if I can say that disease is from the evil one, but it is certainly from this world. Therefore, "What would you attempt if you knew you would not fail?" Still a very thought provoking question for us to ponder, my attempts will have to be in the form of prayer.

"Do not be afraid or discouraged, for the LORD God, my God, is with you. He will not fail you or forsake you until all the work for the service of the temple of the LORD is finished." 1Chr. 28:20b

Getting in the Christmas Spirit

Everywhere you look, you see Christmas. The store clerks have been bustling around for months making preparations for this season of gifting. All the holiday decorations and wrappings seem to be strewn everywhere except here at my house. Well, that's not totally true, I do have my wooden snowmen standing guard on the hearth. Odd place for snowmen now that I think about it. I also have some "dancing trees" on my laptop screen and there's the elf on this page. I've listened to some holiday tunes and put up decorations around my classroom at school. However, here at my house, our Christmas tree, the ornaments, lights and lawn reindeer are still in the attic.

I'm fighting the urge to just let Christmas evolve around me without my participation this year. Then, the other day my little grandson told me I needed to go to the tree farm and get a Christmas tree, then put ornaments on it. I took that as a hint that I was behind on my Christmas spirit.

Is it my age or what? I seem to have the Christmas blahs. I'm very content to let the world celebrate the holiday. I will just be happy for them and watch the Hallmark Christmas specials on TV. Christmas used to be a lot of busy-ness and hurrying to buy lots of presents. I really did enjoy wrapping secret treasures for everyone and putting them under my tree. It was like a game to find just the right gifts for everyone. Then, I'd watch while my family routinely inspected new packages to see who it belonged to. However, now my sons, daughters in law, my husband and I just draw names. Not as many gifts to buy, but its something. Of course, we will all shop for my grandchildren. In fact, just the other night, I was in Toys R Us to cruise the aisles for gift ideas. There are so many toys to choose from, but I enjoy the hunt. I know that they'll get a lot of presents from all the family members and it will be fun to see the excitement on their faces as they unwrap their presents. I wish I could see them on Christmas morning when they awaken to the prizes Santa Claus left for them.

Come to think of it, Christmas really is about children. After all, wasn't it because of a Child that Christmas began those thousands of years ago? Perhaps it is with the spirit of that first Christmas that I should approach this season. My whole attitude could change, if I keep an image of the Christ child lying in a manger in my mind. I'm going to give that a try.

My Plate is Full

“You’ve Got Mail” has been my favorite movie since its release in 1998. I watched it for about the hundredth time this morning instead of going to church. It’s cold and gray outside today and the leaves have blanketed my backyard where my black cat is joyfully watching them fall while sitting on the cold grass. Getting into a cold shower, putting on Sunday clothes, and getting out in the chilly air just didn’t appeal to me this morning.

My plate is full, I’m tired, and feeling overwhelmed with “stuff”. I’d like nothing better than to stay home, forget I have a job and get on with my life. Forget about the holiday season, that hasn’t become my problem yet. Decorating a tree, shopping for gifts and the usual Christmas preparations are, for now, on a back burner. I have paperwork to complete for my job that has piled up higher than the leaves on my patio.

The semester will end December 19, one week short of our usual six week grading period. So everything has to be finished sooner and it seems there is more to it this time. Not only are there the usual grades to complete, there are major semester tests competing with the Christmas rehearsals my third graders are going to. We go on a field trip around town this Monday to perform their play to a rest home and businesses. A lot of fun for the kids and I wish a carefree day for me. I am sure that I'll be worrying over the review time for a major science test being lost to this day. Sixty-six portfolios are still in need of graded rubrics to stories I have yet to read, which will be reviewed by a supervisor on Wednesday. My "don't worry" mantra has lost its meaning.

The community chorus I sing with has rehearsed weekly all semester for the concert to be presented this evening. It will leave me no choice but to clean up, dress up in the much too expensive sparkly top I was made to buy, and join my fellow chorus members to sing a requiem in Latin. A tedious bit of culture that is not really my forte’, but a worthy challenge just the same. An interruption in my working day, but a necessary respite to release me from this tomb.

As I sit here with papers strewed across my lap, spilling onto the couch seat next to me, the soft, calming music of the movie soundtrack plays from the television. I’ve seen this film so many times that I don’t even have to look up from my work to view my favorite scene, but I do. The Meg Ryan character, Kathleen Kelly, is reminiscing of a simpler time when her mother was still living and her worries were few. The music swells and she is dancing with her mother as a little girl. I find myself relating to this character so much as she faces another major life change. Kathleen narrates, “People are always saying that change is a good thing. But all they are really saying is that something you didn’t want to happen has happened.” She adds to this “…it was like my mother had died all over again and there was nothing that anyone could do to change it.”

It may sound like I’m missing my mother. It has been thirteen years since she left us and I am missing the family that would gather each year at my parent’s home for Christmas presents, laughing and good eating. As with each holiday season, I remember the heartfelt love my mother put into every Christmas. I can’t look at poinsettias without thinking about that little house on Holland Avenue and the pots of red flowers that my daddy would buy for Mother each year for their Christmas Eve wedding anniversary. Even a single piece of sweet, white divinity candy conjures up pictures of Mother and her sister baking in the warm kitchen layering the confection drops on sheets of wax paper while my cousins played Monopoly with my brother and me. I wish, like Scrooge, that I could be transported back in time just to view one of those Christmas Eves again.

But for now, I have to think about the next week and a half on my job. My partner is leaving after this semester. A lot will change with the beginning of the year and I’m concerned that I will have more responsibilities to make up for the void she will leave on my team. So I can’t think about the season at hand right now. I have work to complete and new plans to write. By December 19, much of the work that confronts me today will be completed. Then, I will have two weeks to relax. With God’s blessing, my sons’ families will bring a warmth and happiness to Christmas that will satisfy my longing for the season.

Happy Holidays to all of my readers…whoever you are.

My Musing's Makeover

Every so often a girl needs to add a touch of bling to refresh a relationship. So, Blogspot and I are losing the "Barbie" pink background and accessorizing with this chic new design. We think the green/gray colors are tranquil and add a bit of class to the site. Blogspot added some features that I couldn't resist tryng out. So, what do you think about us now?

Let Us Give Thanks

Thanksgiving Day has come and gone once again. It doesn't really feel like Thanksgiving even though it definitely feels like days off from work. Over the years, our holiday tradition has moved from traveling east down I-10 to my parent's house for a huge feast with relatives, to across the bayou to Kim's parent's house with his family and now driving back west on I-10 to his sister's house in Houston for a gathering of blended families and friends. Last year Kim and I even ventured up north to snow in Michigan and Thanksgiving with Jason, Kari and kids. That was probably the only white Thanksgiving we'll ever have. Conversations have ranged from talks about sewing clothes, cooking, fishing, and football with my family, to discussions of politics, books, movies, religion and football with Kim's family. The traditions of playing horseshoes, "42", exchanging recipies or just sitting in the backyard talking, has given way to walks to cemeteries, watching the kids play video games and sitting around a fire on the patio to share the current issues of the day.

A lot has changed for me over the past 14 years of Thanksgivings, but one thing has been the same each and every year. Turkey and dressing. Although, a "Yankee" brother in law introduced bread stuffing to the family, cornbread dressing remains the favorite with turkey, baked sweet potatoes and cranberry sauce on the side. When I bite into the foodfaire of The Day, for a short time, it still feels like Thanksgiving. Our three boys are all grown up now and the Thanksgiving traditions continue to change. However, I am satisfied to be making new memories. We took some pictures, saw an interesting stone carving of "Jesus", enjoyed each other's company and ate so much food we were stuffed. One of these days I hope to bake some pies using my mom's recipes, learn to make cornbread dressing, have the crowd over to my house and shift the Thanksgiving paradigm once again. Until then, we will take long walks to cemeteries, laugh at the cute things the kids do, talk about the current issues and as always, eat turkey and dressing.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Jesus Loves the Little Children

Back in the saddle again...sort of. Kim and I, along with one other adult, took a small group of teens on a church retreat. It was only over night, but brought back a lot of memories. Back when our own children were in the church youth group, we often chaperoned various camp events. One of the last retreats Kim and I helped chaperone was to Garner State Park in December. Very cold with a lot of sipping hot chocolate and roasting marshmellows for smores. This more recent trip was also cold and I was happy to find out that smores are still a hit around a campfire. As always there are a few kids that didn't make curfew and walks around the camp after hours looking for them, brought back memories too. Muddy shoes, dirty showers, squeals of delight in the dark, ball games of all types, youth group games, junior high kids bugging the older kids hasn't changed during our "off" years. Something else that hasn't changed are sweet young voices singing praises to God and kids worshiping our Lord. Innocence, questions, some apathy, some drama, always an adventure when it comes to teenagers.

After all of my initial complaining about going, I'm so glad we went. To be with Jesus' children, these teenagers, once again was edifying to my soul. God works on our hearts and brings us back to Him whenever we drift. It is reassuring that God still wants me for his service. I pray that God will continue to put people in my life who present these opportunities of service. Thanks Bill.

Be Kind To Each Other

I have always been a person with sensitive feelings. As I have aged, I have acquired skills to hide those hurt feelings most of the time and that’s neither good nor bad. However, several times in just the past 3 or 4 months, when my feelings were hurt so badly that I just couldn't contain them, I cried and would say things that I shouldn’t have.

If you have paid attention, you might have noticed that everyone is a critic. Also, they are quick to let you or someone else know that an action or something said was (in their opinion) "not right". Some people just seem to think that it is their job to let us “less intelligent” ones know when we have screwed up. I am getting pretty weary of those sorts of people.

It isn't easy to do as Jesus said and "turn the other cheek" when a particular person treats us like we don't have any sense. I work in an elementary school where it seems there are too many chiefs and not enough Indians. (My apologies to our Native American friends. I don't want someone to point out my pc mistake.) However, there seems to be a lot of people acting like they are in charge of telling others how they should or should not do something. They go as far as telling them how to do their job when, in the teaching field, there are many, many ways to teach concepts and skills.

I have noticed that “I-know-better-than-you” mentality in all walks of our day-to-day lives. People thinking that their way of behaving, working and expressing an opinion is so much better than anyone else’s, has gotten out of hand. I am not the most politically minded person. In fact, I would more than likely fail a test given to me on American politics. I suppose that politics do not appeal to me because the candidates express themselves in such boastful ways. They put the other candidates down and cause slander to their reputation whenever possible. What is particularly disturbing to me about that is how people I know will jump on that slander bandwagon if it is an opponent of the favored candidate.

When Americans see that type of behavior from political figures, bosses, older adults and even Christians, they either get on their opinionated side or they fight back. Talk about Politically Incorrect! Since when has it been accepted to make others feel inferior? Since when do we have to take derogatory comments from coworkers, bosses or the extrovert that doesn't mind spouting off?

Let us be Christian and show others their value. Listen to people and what they have to say. Acknowledge you might be wrong or that there is another way of doing something. Be kind to everyone and not just our close friends that believe the way we do. I have been on the receiving end of unkind comments and they are very hurtful.

Because I know that my friends read this blog and may be thinking, “I’ve heard ML say some unkind things too”. I realize I’ve made that mistake. When we realize our words or actions were hurtful we should apologize to that person. I can hardly live with myself knowing I have hurt someone, even if that person has been hurtful to me. I am here to tell you apology isn’t easy. However, in the end, I am always glad I can say those two kinder words, “I’m sorry.”

It's Halloween

Okay, I like Snoopy, but that is the only thing about Halloween I like. The whole evening with my doorbell ringing, kids...uh, older kids, asking for candy? I've never liked Halloween though. The whole going from door to door frighten me. I dropped my candy on the street and my brother would run off and leave me. I absolutely wanted nothing to do with a haunted house either. Even when my girl scout group had a haunted house in one of the girl's garage, my stomach was chirning.

No, not my favorite holiday. Glad it'll be over by the time I go to sleep. All I have to say is "Bring on the Turkey!"

"Desperate Housewives"

Last year I discovered the TV show "Desperate Housewives". For a whole season I thought it was just another reality show and wouldn't even watch the previews. Then I found out it was not a reality show, but a sort of soap opera, only funny in a way. Then, I borrowed the first season on DVD from a friend that said she was hooked on the show. I began watching the first season and after the first episode, I was hooked too. I watched an entire season of "Desperate Housewives" in a week. Then, even though the second season was already in new episodes on TV, I didn't watch them because I wanted to follow the story about Gabriella, Bree, Susan, and the rest in the correct order. So, I did what any internet savvy person would do...I downloaded the episodes from iTunes. So, I was able to continue my new addiction for $1.99 a pop. Eighteen episodes later I managed to catch up with the shows that were on TV at that time.

Now into the 3rd season, I'm trying to watch the shows on TV and not pay for them. However, just like the beloved TV show "Lassie" it comes on a Sunday night. Every 2nd and 4th Sunday I'm in church small groups and usually miss the episode. Or even if I'm not in small groups, I seem to be busy and I miss the shows. So once again, I've resorted to downloading "Desperate housewives".

Finally, this evening I have discovered my favorite show on Lifetime network. I am sitting in my living room watching the first episode of that first season of "Desperate Housewives" and I feel like I'm watching it for the first time. Tomorrow evening I won't be home to watch the current show now into the third season. Maybe I'll remember to record it on a VHS. I know, VHS is so last decade, but its the best I can do. Well, maybe not the best, I could always download from iTunes. Maybe I will.

I know, I know. It is so superficial. But it is so fun to be involved in this drama that is pure theatrical fiction.

I Want My Email!

My email server isn't working this evening. It would seem that there is some maintenance going on that is effecting our ability to send and receive email. I can't even check in through Safari. It used to be that if I had a problem with my email I could go online to the WWW and check my mail. Now that doesn't even work. Or, until recently, I could even check my email by using the computers at my school where I work. But our school district decided that Earthlink posed some sort of threat to education and that site is blocked. So I won't even be able to view my personal email from school. I can only use my school email account.

Ugh! I'm so addicted to my email and checking it several times a day. I've tried to forget about it during the workday and I suppose that is all for the best since I can't use it at work anymore.

So, if you are reading this blog and you are one of the people that I regularly email with, I'll check on you tomorrow. Hopefully, Earthlink will get all of their kinks out overnight.

Have a good day!

Nine Chicks

I recently went back to Abilene, Texas for Abilene Christian University's homecoming. This is a picture of one of my college friends, Lois, and me. She lives in Abilene and was our gracious hostess for the weekend. We had such a good time visiting, going to the homecoming play, touring the campus to see all of the new structures and of course, worshiping together on Sunday. I'm so happy that we have this close friendship. However, it has only been the past several years that she and seven other college friends started our email chats.


This is a picture of us in 2004 standing outside of our old dormitory which is now an office building. There are nine of us 50-something aged women that once lived together in Zellner Dormitory on what was then the Abilene Christian College campus. One of our group, Nancy, nicknamed us the Zchicks. The Z stands for our old dorm, Zellner.


One of the Zchicks lives near Boston and couldn't make it to Abilene for our reunion picture. So, I couldn't leave her out. Here I am visiting my friend, Patty, last summer.

Even though we live in different parts of the country today, the friendships planted during those years at ACC has continued to grow over the past 30+ years through the wonder of email. At one time all of our conversations involved school, social activites and of course, boys. Now, much of our communication deals with our everyday lives, religious faith, children and grandchildren. We still have a lot to say about husbands, boyfriends, and past loves, but what has been so wonderful is to open email most every day to see that I have mail from one or more of my friends.

May God bless our friendship with 30 more years.
I love you Zchicks!

A Little Black Dress

Recently I came across a piece I'd written as part of an exercise in a writing class. The instructor's objective for the class was to be able to recall and write about a memory. The memory I wrote about was actually from my mother's childhood and was prompted by an article of clothing that is in my possession. So, I decided to reproduce that short piece of writing along with photographs of a little black dress and a picture of my mother. The picture of Mom was made in April, 1944 and she would have just turned 24 years old.

"My grandmother made a little black dress for my mother when she was 2 years old. It was hand-stitched with little yellow flowers embroidered around the neckline. (on the bodice front) I didn't even know this little dress existed until my grandmother gave it to me after my mother passed away. (in 1993) Every now and then I take it (the dress) out of the drawer to look at it. I imagine my grandmother stitching and sewing. I visualize what my mother looked like as a toddler wearing this black satin dress in the 1920's. Then, I touch it and feel my mom and my grandmother that both touched that dress."

Not exactly great prose, but it did make me take the little black dress out once again and look at an article my own mother wore more than 80 years ago. The black satin fabric is beginning to fray and should be placed in a display of some sort to preserve it. I don't possess many items from my parent's past. To glimpse back to an era before my time, a time when my mother was 2 years old, provokes many thoughts. It bridges the past with the present. My mom's little black dress is a precious treasure I hope to keep until it can be passed on to the next generation.

Being a Granddad Has It's Perks

Big Daddy (Kim) was the babysitter of the evening last night for Regan. She is 17 months old and so much fun. Our cat, Baby, has had to get used to little people running around the house and has on occasion hissed at them. Regan would take great offense at that and cry. She really wanted Baby to be her friend. So she would return and "talk" to her, offer her a cookie and show Baby her book. In the picture, Kim was reading a book to Regan when Baby decided to rub up next to them. Regan was delighted and apprehensively touched Baby's fur. Score one for Big Daddy and his gentle leading to pat Baby.

I heard that they had a lovely evening and Big Daddy even got to rock Regan to sleep. It doesn't get much better than that.

Being a Grandma is Pretty Cool

I'm feeling more like a grand-
mother. Lately I have had the occasion to pick up the grandkids from the day care, feed them dinner, bath their cute little bodies, read bedtime stories, rock a little baby girl, build block houses with a budding architect and kissed a boo-boo.

Just like old times, only easier. Now I don't get upset or anxious about their occasional outburst. I find myself repeating lines like, "please don't scream inside the house" in a much calmer voice. I even found out that saying all three names of a 3 year old in a stern voice will still cause him to halt before running out into the driveway. Its a lot like it was 26 years ago when his daddy was 3 years old.

Aidan is very articulate for a 3 year old with a vocabulary beyond his age. Regan understands everything we say to her. She finally has that head nod down for "yes". I just know if her words could ever come out in English, we would find that her conversational skills are most advanced for a 17 month old.

They will soon be leaving us to move into their new house. I'm so glad that they will be living nearby. Having them here for all these weeks has enriched my life. My grandchildren and I have really bonded and that's so special.

Shout to the Lord

This is my grand-
daughter, Regan. Look at the face. God made us so happy the day that she was born. A child's happiness is uninhibited and spontaneous.

Psalms 100: "Shout for joy to the Lord, all the earth. Worship the Lord with gladness; come before him with joyful songs."

This morning my family visited another Church of Christ in the nearby area where our son and daugher in law worship. The Praise Team sang beautifully. They led the congregation in a time of spirit filled worship and praise to God like I don't usually get to experience. As we sang, a few of the songs of joy were accentuated by claps of happiness and praise for our Lord because He has done so much for us. Praise be to Him.

While we clapped, I looked at my little granddaughter who, in her innocence, was smiling and clapping along with all of us who were singing. What joy was on her face! Clapping is such a natural way of expressing joy. Isn't it? I'm glad I could worship with that Christian group of people this morning and see Regan enjoying the time as well.

Psalms 47:1 "Clap your hands, all you nations; shout to God with cries of joy. How awesome is the Lord Most High, the great King over all the earth!"

It is too bad that more Christians do not feel free to express themselves like Regan does. We, who are part of a stricter code where we attend church, are reluctant to clap or praise God with hands lifted to Him for fear of "offending the weaker brother". Maybe we should allow the Spirit to move within us. Instead of offending our brother, we encourage him in the name of the Lord. We can be an example of a Christian expressing our praise and thankgiving to the almighty God. We can shout to the Lord as the mountains burst into song.

Christians judging other Christians for clapping to a joyful song of praise, need to re-visit scripture. It is so sad that they think it necessary to tell us that a clap is disorderly in our worship services. It makes me feel sorry for that person that can not express their happiness about the free salvation that is ours through Jesus Christ. How do we express our enthusiasm at a sporting event, a birthday party, an anniversary or the birth of a baby? We clap, we laugh, we tell all the world in a jubilant way that we are happy and blessed.

Isaiah 55:12 "You will go out in joy and be led forth in peace' the mountains and hills will burst into song before you, and all the trees of the field will clap their hands. ...This will be for the Lord's renown, for an everlasting sign, which will not be destroyed."

No Man Is An Island

How many times does a man get back up on a horse after he has been kicked off numerous times? Does he give up and never get back up or does he simply change horses? My answer would be that he change horses if he can't tame the scared one bucking him off.

My husband and I have encountered a "horse" that has kicked my husband off many times. He is discouraged at being kicked off and I'm hurting because of it. Why can't that horse just let him ride and enjoy the happy spirit in which my husband comes to him? My husband is so sensitive to his needs. He never kicks him or surprises him with sudden moves. He always approaches the horse with a gentle voice and a smile. Although, my husband's approach is one of certainty and belief that the next step is best for the horse, the horse is spooked and bucks him off.

Trying to be members of a group of people that won't let us move forward is like that horse. They want to remain saddled and standing in the stable without ever moving forward to the place that is greener. The group of people won't accept change and is "spooked" like the horse at the slightest hint of it. My husband is offering a small morsel of change to the people and they won't accept it.

So, it is time for a different horse. We have lead the horse to water, but it just won't drink.

____________________________________________
Why the peaceful island with the lone house? It calms me to look at it. It is a place I'd like to be at times when I'm frustrated with humans.

Be Still My Soul

Winkin', Blinkin', and Nod

Winkin', Blinkin', and Nod, one night sailed off in a wooden shoe;
Sailed off on a river of crystal light into a sea of dew.
"Where are you going and what do you wish?" the old moon asked the three.
"We've come to fish for the herring fish that live in this beautiful sea.
Nets of silver and gold have we," said Winkin', Blinkin', and Nod.


The above is the first verse of a favorite nursery rhyme. In it Winkin' and Blinkin' are a little tot's sleepy eyes, Nod is it's head and the wooden shoe is the cradle rocking them out to dreamland. It is a very pleasant poem where the fish they want to catch are really the stars in the beautiful sea.

Calming thoughts on a stormy day.

Sunny Saturday Sanity

Around the beginning of each school year, it takes the Labor Day Holiday to bring some sanity to a teacher's nerve-racking, fast-paced, quick start. School is in session and summer has not ended. It was not suppose to end so abruptly at the beginning of August. The days have still been very hot and the grass is growing at neck-break speed.

Today is Saturday and I am once again in my usual summer morning fashion, sitting at my computer in my houserobe at 10:30 in the morning. That is something I've come to enjoy very much about summers without children at home. The opportunity to do nothing if I choose. Some younger parents might say, "I wish I could sit around on a Saturday morning." Well, I say to them, "You will in about 25 years." Hey, I feel no guilt. I paid my time to do this sitting around.

However, this school start has been busier than most because we have another family in our house temporally. My son's family has recently moved from Michigan to start a job in Houston. While they were looking for a house, they and their 2 children have lived with us. It has been nice to be able to see our grandchildren each day. They are so cute and smart. But even though I want to be with them, I have schoolwork to complete most evenings. Instead of working at my school the week before we had to return, I worked at home to prepare a suitable place for our company. I was happy to do that. I was in no hurry to get back to school. But I lost that week and it put me behind.

I wish I had the time during the day to be working around the house in preparation for everyone's return in the evening. I'm not very good at the whole planning meals for a week thing anymore. I am out of that habit and besides, after standing on my feet all day at school, I just want to sit down. So, our daughter in law, who is very good at planning and cooking, prepares her family's meals. We pretty much just take care of ourselves around here in the evenings. It seems to work, but I feel guilty not doing more for them.

This is our Labor Day Holiday and we will be off from work on Monday. An extra day to catch up on work around the house and also the work we brought home in our bookbags. Labor day is supposed to be a holiday from work. It is in reality a holiday for me to catch up on work. I like having this time to work alone and plan the next 3 weeks for my classes. I needed this break in our hectic beginning.

It is my understanding that next year our school district won't begin as early in August. I'll believe it when I see it. In the meantime, I have to clean house, wash clothes, plan lessons and grade papers. Labor Day, 2006...a sunny Saturday for my sanity.

Another Day Older and Deeper in Debt

If you recognize the title of this blog and even more if you have heard of Tenneesse Ernie Ford, then you must be around my age.

I celebrated my 54th birthday yesterday. I was expecting a normal day with the occasional "Happy Birthday" my family. I work in an elementary school and teach 3 classes of third grade students. I was tired when I arrived at school yesterday morning because it is the end of a long first two weeks of school starting. I have had early morning bus duty for the entire two weeks and my body is still rebelling at having to get up so early.

From across the hallway, a longtime friend and colleague, gave me a card and cute little M&M magnets. She knows I collect M&M things. One of the new partners I teach with this year, is a woman I've actually known for a long time, but never worked with. She stapled a cute little banner outside of my door in the hallway that read, "Happy Birthday Mrs. Martin!" I thought it was very sweet and on my way to do my bus duty, I told her so. She then told me to go back to my classroom and relax that she would do my duty. Wow! I was so surprised, but I let her. How nice of her! In about 15 minutes the students were due in my classroom, but another teacher came to the door and told me I was needed in the Reading computer lab. It was strange, but I figured someone had a problem so I went. Upon arrival, the darkened room seemed odd. I opened the door and the lights came on and 69 third grade children hopped up from their places and yelled, "Surprise!"

I was certainly surprised and had to tell myself not to cry as they sang "Happy Birthday" with those kid voices. As they filed past me out the door to go to class, they proceeded to each give me a hug and say "happy birthday". What a treat!

The birthday greetings didn't stop there. All day long the banner announced my big day and teachers and staff were tapping on my hallway window and mouthing "happy birthday" to me. My teacher friend that began all of this fun, got each of our students to create a birthday card for me which they proudly presented to me as they came into my classroom. At my conference, my team all met in my friend's classroom where we had birthday cake. It was a good time.

At home my husband cooked a lovely dinner with wine. He brought home a sweet pot of miniature roses that hopfully I won't kill and can replant in the yard somewhere. Then my middle son came by with birthday greetings from he and his wife. I loved visiting with him so much, it would have been gift enough. To my surprise his wife and he gave me an iPod nano. I just love it and I'm already feeling younger for just having it. :-) A few days ago, my sweet in-laws brought over a hummingbird feeder which I hope to hang in my backyard and watch the little creatures in flight.

I also received cards both "snail" and "e" from friends. So many people just acknowledging my birth made me realize how blessed that I am. Sometimes I don't feel worth a whole lot. On my birthday, even at 54, I miss hearing Happy Birthday from my mother. But each greeting and act of kindness shown to me yesterday was God's message to me and perhaps my mom as well. Being in this world was no accident.

Thank you to everyone for reminding me that I'm someone of worth in this world. I am grateful to everyone that made this 54 year old feel loved.

The Duke City

Albuquerque has been nicknamed "Duke City" because one of the old Spanish governors named the city "Albuquerque" after a Spanish Duke.

Kim and I just returned from a trip to Duke City to visit our son, Ryan and his wife, Amy. They moved out there a couple of months ago to help some college theater friends renovate and open a theater. Not the movie type, but a live theater with all it takes to put on a play to entertain the people of Albuquerque. We thought it was quite a risky undertaking at first, but having seen their building and heard about all of their plans, I'm excited too. I can't wait to return to see the finished product. For the before pictures, click on my Flickr link from this page.

While Ryan and Amy went to work to earn a living, Kim and I took a look around the dry, hot land outside of the main city. The mountains are filled with ancient markings of people that inhabited Albuquerque long before any Duke ever lived. We walked around ancient petroglyphs in Boca Negra Canyon. That's where I am in the picture posted here. We took several pictures of the drawings as we thought about the people that once lived there and etched their bit of history on the boulders so we could find them today.

While driving back to Texas, we came to Malpais Valley where lava once spewed out of volcanic vents in the earth thousands of years ago. The black oozing stretched over 17 miles. It was most evident that the flowing of hot sticky lava onto a valley floor would forever showcase this bit of history for all to see and learn. I thought this was an extraordinary piece of earth to view.

New Mexico certainly has a lot to teach us about our country's history. Home one day to repack, we will journey to places that will teach us about a different time more closely related to our own. Friday we leave to see New York, Connecticut, and a bit of Massachusetts.

Check back next week when I hope to blog about the last excursion of our summer vacation.

Wireless Internet

This summer has afforded me the opportunity for much travel. I went to Michigan for two weeks and did not take my laptop. I tried to use my sons' dial up service on his computer, but had much better success when he and I took his laptop to a coffee shop with wireless internet service. Then, Kim came up during week two of my visit with his laptop, we could visit the local coffee shop and check email through "wireless internet".

For the past 3 days I have been visiting my cousin who lives in Ft. Worth. Her fairly new neighborhood does not have cable and they do not have wireless internet, so they only have the dial up internet service. While I had my laptop with me, I could not log onto their system because I did not have a phone number at my access. However, while trying to figure out the system, I noticed that I had an internet connection and it was not from my cousin's connection. I was picking up on someone's wireless internet in the neighborhood. Wow! Remarkable! I began to whisper, "I have a connection on your Neighbor A's wireless internet." I was afraid that the internet cops were listening in and I'd be caught. Actually, there were two wireless connections in the neighborhood. Neighbor B was a bit smarter and had a blocker with a password. So, no connection with him. Neighbor A became my secret friend with whom I "shared" his connection. I was most appreciative of his generosity.

At the present I am sitting in the Midland Community Theater backstage area where they have...you guessed it...wireless internet. I had resigned myself to just sitting in the lobby of this theater while Kim attended a board meeting of the Texas Non-profit Theater group of which we are members. I came in armed with my laptop and a book to read in case access to wireless was not available. Upon arriving in the building, I was summoned to the board meeting room by Kim where there were refreshments. After I settled in my chair preparing to either type a story using my laptop or read my book, Kim asked if this school had a wireless connection. A person said they did and kindly escorted me to this (very cold, brrr!!) room where I am happily typing this post and checking email.

I just love this connection to my world of internet friends and websites. It is a miracle that, with my technical ignorance, I am previledged to access this cyberworld almost anywhere.

So, who do I thank for this technilogical gift? Bill Gates? I don't know. But for now I want to thank my husband, Kim, for introducing me to computers and the WWW and also to my dear brother in law for passing this exceptional Apple laptop on to me. This is the best toy with which I have ever had to play and work.

Changes for the Martins

Let's see, I have started this entry around 4 times now. The general topic being, "Change". I just have a hard time deciding what part of that "Change" I should write about. There is so much going on these days, that I find writing about it just as overwhelming as the change itself.

I guess the biggest change will come in about a month when our oldest son, Jason and his family will move from Michigan to live in Texas. We are so excited about having them nearer to us. When they drove away from Abilene, TX back in 2002, they were expecting their first child, Aidan, who was born in February, 2003. Then, in April, 2005, another child, this time a girl named Regan, was born. So, our excitment is not only that we get to see our son and daughter-in-law more often, we get to see our grandchildren more often too.

Another change is that our youngest son, Ryan, and his wife, Amy have moved away from Baytown to Albequerque, NM. They have joined college friends to launch a new live theater. They are also looking for a place to live and have gotten side jobs as any actor at some point must do to survive. This is probably the best time for them to try something like this because they do not have children and no real ties to another job at the time. I wish them the best, but I miss having them here.

Our middle son, Kyle, and Amanda, his wife, are staying in Baytown at least for now. I'm glad they are here and close enough to visit every now and then. They are having a good time just being together, traveling and enjoying their friends.

One last change for the Martins involves my husband, Kim. He will be working in Baytown for the first time in about 25 years. After working in sales driving in and out of Houston everyday for the last 25 years, he went back to the classroom last year as a theater arts teacher. That was in Aldine and he still had that drive everyday. This year all of that driving will change when he begins his job in Goose Creek ISD as a junior school theater arts teacher. We are very pleased with this change for Kim.

So many changes with more to come. I'm gong to be ready though. I want to look at these changes as learning opportunities to better myself. God has blessed my family this far. I look forward to the blessings He will bring to our family in the way of changes in the future.

Gee Whiz, I'm Losing It

Every so often my mind just decides to jumble up all the numbers and letters I have used to create usernames and passwords. I hate it when I log in to this dashboard to blog and I have to retype my username and password. Thinking I remembered it this morning I logged in. Only an error came up and said it wasn't the correct password. Assuming the username was correct, I typed another one of my passwords I commonly use. That didn't work either. Hmmm! What is going on? Where is my blog? So I go in to change the password. Well unknowingly, I actually created another account and of course there are no posts on this new account. It wasn't until I read the messageboard full of questions that I realized what I had done. Apparently, I'm not the only blogger to lose their blog. Anyway, sure enough I had set up another account and when I finally recovered my original password, it was my username that was actually wrong. I had switched the username and the password. Duh! So now it is all safe and sound on a stickie note. Well... at least I believe I typed the right thing. Who knows?

But if this ever happens to you, don't panic. Just click on the link that says, "forgot your username too?", even if you don't think that you did. Because then you'll get a screen that shows all the usernames that you have. That was when I saw two usernames and I just clicked the circle with the one I knew to be correct. They then sent my password to my email and I was able to retrieve my blog and posts.

Happy blogging. :-)

God's Child

This morning I was awaken to the aches and pains of my age. My arthritis, or so I believe it to be, in my legs and hips just doesn't allow for restful sleeping in the early morning hours. So today I gave it up and went into the living room to sit up in my recliner. I made the coffee and sat reading the ACU Today magazine that had arrived this week in my mail.

I graduated from Abilene Christian University when it was still ACC. It is so amazing for me to read about people that graduated near my class and have gone on to achieve so much in life. ACU graduates are successful in all careers and in numerous places around the world. The profession I find especially fascinating is not the doctors, lawyers, teachers or photo journalist that ACU spawned. While those are noteworthy professions, I continue to be intrigued by the missionaries, preachers and students of Biblical studies. Those people live to study God's word. They champion His cause in all nations and walks of life. They are passionate about bringing the word to others and in general doing what they know Jesus would do if He were walking among us today. God bless those people who choose to encourage those of us with lesser faith.

In my early morning reflective hours, my emotions and feelings run the gambit from angst about the corporate worship and politics of my local congregation, to the longing for spiritual revival in my own life. When I read about how ACU influenced a man who is now preaching in what many term a "megachurch", I have to wonder how I skipped through my college years on such a shallow mindset. Even though I do remember hearing messages that pricked my heart and would sear my soul with a longing to be a better Christian for Christ, I left ACU and those lessons slowly faded into the busy-ness of adult life.

A reflection of who I am at my core, comes back to me In the first hours of morning. It is at those times when nothing has happened in the day to discourage me, no person or event has challenged my opinions, no substance has yet altered my thinking or approach to my day, that I am vulnerable. I am who I am. A child of God, needing forgiveness and mercy.

As I read this morning I was encouraged by words of Rick Atchley, a former ACU student and currently the senior minister of a church in Texas. He said, "the grace of God is bigger than any sin or mistake." What a statement and revelation for my eyes to read. He repeated that same statement in regard to his preaching each Sunday that "I preach to nobody whose mess is bigger than God's grace." I don't know about you, but that is the type of encouragement that I need repeated in my ear on a daily basis. I openly admit to being weak for sin and somewhat of a "mess". Guilt and discouragement along with the reality of what I don't do on a daily basis makes me ashamed. I am weak. I need all the "Rick Atchleys" I happen to come in contact with to tell me that God's grace is bigger than any mistake that I make.

There isn't a lot more to this. I just wanted to put some thoughts down before the day progressed any further and I begin to lose the person I know I am. God's child.

I Am A Dreaming Soul

You Are a Dreaming Soul

Your vivid emotions and imagination takes you away from this world So much so that you tend to live in your head most of the time You have great dreams and ambitions that could be the envy of all... But for you, following through with your dreams is a bit difficult You are charming, endearing, and people tend to love you. Forgiving and tolerant, you see the world through rose colored glasses. Underneath it all, you have a ton of passion that you hide from others. Always hopeful, you tend to expect positive outcomes in your life. Souls you are most compatible with: Newborn Soul, Prophet Soul, and Traveler Soul

What Kind of Soul Are You?

BAYTOWN NATURE CENTER

It only took 3 years, but Kim and I finally ventured to the back of our Lakewood subdivision to check out the Baytown Nature Center located on a peninsula surrounded by three bays. Overlooking Crystal Bay, the San Jacinto Monument can be seen quite well. For many years prior to 1983, that area known as Brownwood, was a residential subdivision and already subsiding due to the withdrawal of oil and groundwater. Then, in the fall of 1983, Hurricane Alicia struck, damaging many of the homes in the neighborhood. So, in 1991, city officials decided to make the vacated subdivision into the nature center it is today.

It was a treat to drive back into the center toward the bay this morning and see many species of butterflies and birds. I understand there are many mammals there, but we only observed one rabbit. Of course, on a hot Texas day like today, those mammals are going to be asleep in a shaded area. We enjoyed walking around the picnic areas bordered with wild plants and flowers. Fish were jumping in the bay waters while little black, gray chested birds of some kind sang a tune. As we watched the fish in the calm Crystal Bay waters, the San Jacinto Monument stood tall on the opposite bank.

Upon entering the gates of the park, we had to stop to check in at the information center . There is a charge to enter the nature center, but the employee was going to allow us a 15 minute look around. After Kim inquired about membership fees, we decided to go inside the building to sign up. Inside the information center were some aquariums with live snakes that had been found in the area. Even though I'm not a fan of snakes, the interesting birds and other features of the park were enough for me to agree on purchasing a family membership for a year. Within the park are many picnic areas, a playground for the children and other features that nature lovers will enjoy. We hope there will be opportunities to take our friends and relatives to the center for outings, making our membership a wise investment.

Even though it took us three years to discover this little jewel of nature literally in our own backyard, I'm sure glad we did.

Starbucks

Starbuck's new frappacino drinks for the summer are absolutely delicious! They are liquid bliss. Have any of you tried the Banana Mocha Creme? I may try the Banana cocoanut creme today. Forget the diets and cool off with one of these better-than- ice cream liquid desserts. To top it off, the people working in there were having so much fun. They were dressed in tropical print shirts and looked very cool. The man that took my order was so friendly and wasn't about to let me stand there and be glum. I halfway expected him to flash a big toothy grin and exclaim, "Don't worry, be happy!" I had to smile and join in the fun time.

The employees in that Starbucks reminded me of a film I viewed at work one time. The film was about making the workplace a fun place to be. The documentary focused on a fishmarket and the way its employees have a rocking time while serving up smelly old fish to their amused customers. The fish-throwers laughed and joked with each other and their customers while completing the fish orders. Even the grumpiest customer left with a smile his face. The people in the Starbucks weren't throwing coffee drinks around like the fish, but they were laughing, joking and making me feel like I was important. I was a happier person for having stopped in their shop on a very hot day.

Okay, who's up for a cup of coffee?

Short and Stout

"I'm a little teapot short and stout..."

Yep, that's me. I can't seem to get on the diet wagon. It just isn't happening for me. There are so many great foods and drinks out there that I'm having a hard time choosing the good stuff...well, that's not true. The "good stuff" I'm great at choosing. What I meant to type was that I was having difficulty choosing the "healthy stuff." Big difference.

Tonight I watched again a DVD that I own, "Spanglish". I love that movie. I especially love "The Best Sandwich in the World" that Adam Sandler's character makes in the movie. In the special features the brilliant DVD producers show us the secret of the sandwich straight from the chef that originated the recipe. Watching him prepare the sandwich will make anyone's mouth water. I get hungry just thinking about it.

Tomorrow, I'm going to make a great sandwich for lunch, uh, no, breakfast...na, that would't be right...lunch, no, breakfast...see? I have absolutely no will power whatsoever. In fact if I had some great bread, and bib lettuce, (I have all of the other ingredients) I think I'd be tempted to go into my kitchen right now at 12:40 in the AM and make that sandwich. Oh, what do you know? Then it WOULD be breakfast. Or as my movie chef said, "a late night sandwich." yum!

"...here is my handle, here is my spout."

Memorial Day

Today is Memorial Day and a holiday for most of the working class in the United States, “the land of the free”. Coincidentally, it is also the beginning of summer vacation for students and teachers like myself. With no special plans for this national holiday, it has been a very slow day for me. I have a sense that I should be doing something, but I’m not. My school is closed for the week and I’m not teaching this summer anyway, so I have no work pending. I have a garage full of “stuff” that needs cleaning out and throwing away, but it’ll wait. After all it’s been there for 3 years now and a while longer won’t hurt.

This lazy, summer day is filled with sounds of laughing children playing in a neighbor’s pool. The passing cars sound as if they are in no particular hurry. The birds and chirping locusts sing in melodious chorus to the gods of summer afternoons. Those soothing sounds filled with the reality that I really have nothing to do, relaxes every sinew of my body and soul. The occasional soft breeze kisses gently on my skin. What could possibly take away this moment of calm? What ever could happen to disrupt this quiet tick of time?

For now, I would rather not dwell on the answers to those questions. For here there are no sirens screeching, mournful weeping or scenes of distress. For here all is right as I view my tranquil world. My green yard of nature’s tall trees, adorned with leafy shades of green and yellow, decorate this peaceful setting. I sit as a spectator of God’s creative artistry. Feline pets I’ve named Baby and Homer, are my children as they stroll about the perimeters of their enclosure venturing back at times to check on me, their “mother”. They quietly inspect the bushes for lizards or bugs, then dash away quickly to scamper partway up a tree. Then, as casually as before, they return to their patrol in and among the greenery bordering our fortress.

For now I am safe in a place miles from unthinkable atrocities in a place on the other side of my world. On this day, May 29, 2006, innocent people are dying as bombs explode around them. Soldiers made up of U.S. men and women are not experiencing the quiet of a peaceful neighborhood yard. They are living in a war zone, fighting to protect a nation of people, and fighting for their own lives.

For now I am safe in a time years from the horrors of past wars. My husband is here with me and my grown sons are with their wives, not in a foreign land surviving day to day, praying they will once again see home and loved ones. As a wife and mother, I am not staring dumbfounded at a courier sent to deliver a letter of condolence for a loved one killed in action while serving his country.

My life is blessed and my God has protected my family and I from all that we memorialize on this day. I am thankful for my blessings. I am thankful for the men and women that are willing to fight for a noble cause. May God bless and protect our troops that serve today.

On May 29, 1736, Patrick Henry, a brilliant orator and member of the Continental Congresses, was born in Virginia. On March 23, 1775, in St. John's Church, Richmond, he delivered his most famous speech. As war with Great Britain appeared inevitable, Henry proclaimed:
Gentlemen may cry, Peace, Peace —
but there is no peace. The war is actually begun!
The next gale that sweeps from the north will bring to our ears the clash of resounding arms! Our brethren are
already in the field! Why stand we here idle? What is it that gentlemen wish? What would they have? Is life so dear,
or peace so sweet, as to be purchased at the price of chains and slavery? Forbid it, Almighty God! I know not what course others may take, but as for me,
give me liberty or give me death!

Summer Vacation is Here

What a year at school this has been. Maybe it was the hurricanes at the beginning of the school year that got us off to a rocky start. I don't know, but I just couldn't seem to keep up with the pace after that. Anyway, I was very happy to see it come to an end. In August we will all be ready for a new start.

Next year I will be teaching Language and Writing, which is what I was originally hired to teach. I am happy to be packing the reading books for a new teacher to take over that subject. I worked in my classroom today. First my partners and I finished grouping our students for their new 4th grade homerooms they will be in next year. AFter that, we all turned in items that are kept in the office and getting our papers signed by the principals so we could go home. Of course, I'm never finished enough to leave at 1:00. This summer our school is hosting the elementary summer school program again. So that means that we have to put things away, lock our cabinets, clean out the desk and cover bookshelves. I don't mind really because I like to start with a clean room. I never seem to put posters and desks back in the same place two years in a row.

It is going to be a good summer. I have a lot to keep me busy with just enough time at home to do some cleaning.
Here is a list of places I am going and things I hope to accomplish:
-Have a garage sale
-Tx NonProfit Theater Teen conference chaparone
-Babysit with my grandchildren in Michigan
-Go to an Astros game in Detroit
-Visit my son and daughter in law in New Mexico
-Visit my brother in law in Conneticut
- Go to a Mets/Astros game in New York
-Go to a Broadway play in New York
-Visit my friend in Boston
-Visit my friend in Abilene
-Enjoy having Kim at home for the summer

That last one is going to be a change for us after 25 years of Kim working through the summer months. He survived his first year back in the classroom in Aldine. He is very glad that he will be teaching in Baytown next year. I'm happy about that too.
It is going to be real nice to have him home in the summer for a change. I'm looking forward to his company.

A Matter of Life or Death

Life has become extremely intense for me over the past 13 years. Every day I run into something that is so serious, I find it hard to understand. People get angry, hurt feelings. I get scared.

Lately it seems there are more and more people/women that have cancer. The number of those people that are my age is steadily increasing. The generation of people in now their sixty's, seventy's, and eighty’s are beginning to pass away and many of them are dying of cancer. Now I find several of my friends, women I've worked beside, shared dormitory life with, worshiped with and even grew up with are getting cancer. That is scary to think I am close to a deadly disease that the only good thing anyone can say about it is, "the cancer researchers are learning more about it every day." It sure is taking a long time and so many more people are finding out they have this disease in the meantime.

I have thought at one time that it just could be God's way of weeding the population. However, I don't believe that anymore and now think that we as a race of selfish people, are just doing this to ourselves. With all of the air pollutants that are emitted through refineries, it is no wonder that many of my elementary school girlfriend's mothers have died of cancer. Mine did as well as my four other best friends' mothers...all five moms died of cancer. We grew up around refineries where several of our fathers worked. It could make us anxious about breathing the air.

The foods we eat must have a lot to do with getting cancer too. Those fried foods we grew up eating was so bad for us. Findings are now that the fats in butter are bad for you and can clog arteries and too much could be a cause of some cancers. More and more "experts" on foods are telling us to read labels for nutritional content. Grocery shopping now becomes as much a reading experience as going to Barnes and Nobel. I wish the grocers would simply put big red arrows on the shelves pointing to the foods we can have and not get sick.

I can't help but wonder what foods God intended for us to eat when we were created. Of course, there was our mother's milk. My mom did a good job of nursing her 3 babies. Well, from the start I couldn't do that with my babies so they got formula. What was in formula? I didn't check to see that it was nutritionally sound. I trusted that the manufacturer of that product had done the research and packaged a safe product for my baby. They have grown into healthy men, so I guess it didn't hurt them.

But what about all the food products packaged in our stores today? I'm reading from the South Beach Diet Dr. that the less processed our foods, the better they are for us. So we should try to eat fresh foods. Another book I have read said that fresh vegetables and fruits are much better for us but we should buy from open markets near to where we live. Open markets usually have foods that are home grown and therefore have only been out of the ground or off of the tree for a short period of time. But then I wonder about the pesticides or preservatives used on all of those fresh foods. Aren't they harmful? I guess I should just take up fishing and gardening.

I have got lazy and put on a lot of weight lately. I'm aware that the more fat a person gains, the chances of getting cancer increase. I have also put off my annual mammogram for a little over a year now, making me anxious because I could have a mass right now and not know it. But if you've listened to TV commercials lately, you know that research is trying to scare us further by telling women that mammograms are not enough. We can also get cancer from our alcohol consumption, a thing I'm trying to modify in my life right now.

The "C" word scares me. I don't want cancer so badly that it is part of my nightly prayers to God. "God, please don't let me get cancer." My mother didn't get to enjoy much about my boys' lives except for when they were little. She missed all three boys' high school graduations and weddings. The boys performed in plays at our community theater from the time they were in elementary school. Unfortunately, she was only able to see one of those plays. I don't believe she ever saw a football game where each one of my sons performed with the marching band. Her life was cut short and she missed a lot. I missed having her here with me to delight in all that was happening with my family. I want to be around to enjoy my grandchildren. Not only while they are little, but as they grow up, graduate, get married and start families. I want to be a great-grandmother someday.

Everyday I think about my friends who have cancer, Beth, who thankfully is in remission, Carla, who is going through treatments, Pam just started treatments, Pat who is in treatments now, Steve, going through treatments. I think about these other people, Kelly, who has had surgery and now receiving treatments, Ruth, a brave Christian woman trying different methods to her alive, and another Ruth from my church who is battling the disease. Carol, my brother's mother in law, is dying with cancer as I type. Passed away are my aunts Ruby Gene and Ruby, my sister in law, Cynthia, who was much too young to die, my mother, who I miss more with each passing day, Kim's grandfather, Pappy, and my friend Patrick, a flawed man who came to know Jesus, died of cancer this past year. Passing away just before Mother's Day was my friend Nancy’s mom. Her mother died about the same time my own mother was taken by cancer 13 years ago. And then a sweet lady from church passed away just this last Mother's Day. I attended her funeral last Thursday. Of course there are countless others whose lives have been altered for the rest of their time on earth because they have cancer or a close loved one did/does.

I am petrified of this dread disease. So much money, time and research is being put into finding a cure to cancer in our nation. I hope and pray that one is found real soon in our lifetime. However, I am fast becoming a skeptic about that whole endeavor. The people I named above and so many others are viewed as amazing individuals because of their "bravery". Brave? I don't know about that, I'm sure if we talked to those people we would know just how scared they really are. I would say they persevere as best they can with something they have no control over. Even if they are going through treatments and following all of the doctor's orders, there is no guarantee they won't lose that battle.

Relay for Life is a national fund raiser for Cancer Research and the relay is an annual event in many American towns and cities. I know the cause is noble and the individuals working on the project in the different places are dedicated people whose lives have been touched by cancer. No discredit to them, but the real cancer research needs more than our money, it needs our prayers. God is the ultimate decision maker in whether or not cancer can be brought under control and virtually wiped out for good. I pray that one day soon, cancer will be like polio, smallpox and TB. I pray there will be a simple preventative serum we can take to keep from getting the disease. I must have hope that our prayers will help those researchers to stumble across that magic medicine. Please, let that be your prayer today. Please pray for this awful disease to be conquered. It truly is a matter of Life or Death.

Amazing People

As I was reading my usual set of blogs this morning, I came across a quote about a women who is probably about my same age. It appears that she is retiring from her work to spend time with her grandchildren. Perhaps she is going to be their babysitter, the post doesn't say. But what it does say, speaks volumes for this woman, her character and the beauty her life shares with others. Here is the quote:

"This is one of the most amazing women I’ve met in my life: godly, positive, cheerful, helpful, wise, hospitable, compassionate. She consistently leaves people blessed and nurtured in her wake."

That quote written by the senior minister of her church, is one of the sweetest compliments to a woman that in all likelihood didn't do anything for the glory. Works of the heart are not done for accolades like the one written by her minister. There are people that do everything with no forethought of what others may or may not say about them.

I'm awed by women who seem to float through a day with a smile on her face even on the most stressful of days. Some days I find myself looking at women of pleasant attitude, working hard to get jobs completed and making everyone feel so special and I think to myself, "How on earth do they do that? How can they be so happy all of the time and accomplish so much?"

I want to be that kind of woman. I want to be a worker for my Lord. I want to lead a better life doing for others. But I procrastinate, put off what I SHOULD do now and in general, I don't get my act together.

Right now, I may only be remembered for being a teacher and for who my children are, and who my husband is. My husband is wonderful. He volunteers in community and church activities. He wants to help people and will usually say yes to requests even though he really doesn't have the time. He seems to try to fill his time with useful, meaningful works for others.

God bless all the people that are racing through life, doing for others with a happy heart.

It's Not Friday Yet??

Here it is 6:55 a.m. and I SHOULD be in the shower. Instead I have just finished breakfast and I'm obviously sitting here at my computer. I don't want to move this morning. I'm tired and placing myself in a room full of noisy, complaining 9 and 10 year olds is not on the top of my list of "things I want to do" today.

I recently found out that my job description will change for next school year. Its a good thing...for me anyway. My present job is teaching 3rd grade reading. This is the first of many more TAKS test years for our 9 and 10 year olds in Texas. In the past I have avoided having to teach a "state testing" year. So two years ago when my present school asked me to teach third grade on their campus I was not ready to jump at the opportunity even though the school is only 3 blocks away from my house. Then I was informed that at this school the Language and writing composition is separate from reading and that the children do not take the TAKS for Language and writing composition until fourth grade. "Interesting!" I said. I interviewed with the principal who asked me more than once if I wanted to teach 3rd grade reading instead of writing, to which I replied each time, "No, thank you."

So the big move from my former school to my present school was made two years ago and I thought I was making my last move until I retired. I anticipated my new position all summer long. I went to my new building when summer school had ended and began to unpack boxes and put my things in the cabinets. I attended a writing workshop with other district teachers and I was feeling pretty pumped about the start of a new school year in this new position.

Then, as the introduction week of inservice meetings progressed, I learned that the new 3rd grade reading teacher hired to be one of my two partners, was moving to another school. Now a new reading teacher would have to be hired in just a few days to start off the year. I wasn't worried until the principals came to me and asked me teach Reading. READING?! A TAKS SUBJECT?! They couldn't possibly be doing this to me. I have managed to avoid this all my days of teaching at my former school, when one of my principals asked me yearly to move to 3rd grade reading. Oh, no, I DON'T want to teach 3rd grade reading and be responsible for the passing of all of those kids on the TAKS tests. If they fail the TAKS, they can fail 3rd grade. What pressure! No, I don't want to do that. I came to this school to teach writing, a fun course, that I know how to teach and I believe I do it pretty well....no, I do not want to teach reading!

The school year started with me teaching 3rd grade reading. I didn't win that battle but, I was assured that it would only be for this first year and then I could have the writing back. So, I reluctantly and tearfully taught 3rd grade Reading TAKS. In the meantime, a permanent substitute teacher was hired to begin the year in my coveted Language Arts position until a certified teacher could be hired. The substitute was a nice woman and would go on to do a fair job of teaching the course. So the year began and we all became comfortable in our positions. But I noticed that no one was interviewing for the reading teacher job and I was being tutored on reading techniques for 3rd grade reading TAKS. By mid-term, the substitute teacher in language had decided to finish her teaching certification and become a permanent teacher. She was hired permanently and my chances of getting my language arts job back were looking slim. However, my principal had told me that teaching reading would only have to be for one year and then I could have the language arts class back for the following year.

So the end of that first hard year ended and I had my summative conference with my principal. She asked if I wanted to move back to Lanugage for the next year. Well, by now the hired teacher was working on her certification and besides, we had become friends. I told my principal that I'd teach reading another year so the other teacher could continue in her present position while working to be certified.

That brings us up to now. Two year later, I've taught the reading, my students have done pretty decently on the TAKS, but I still want to teach language and writing before my career ends. After hearing my partner on many days exclaim how she might like to move down to primary grades, I decided to approach my principal and remind her that I still wanted to teach language and writing. However, I made it clear that I didn't want the position at the risk of harming my new friendship with my partner. If a position didn't open up for her, I'd stay where I was. I even told her that I'd be willing to teach 2nd or 1st grade for which I'm highly qualified.

So last Monday our principal called several of us into the conference room. I couldn't imagine what this was all about. Next, she began to read a letter she was mailing that very day to administration. I was to be assigned to teach language and writing to 3rd grade. Yea! I was so happy, but wait there is more. My partner, who had been teaching language, was being moved to teach kindergarten. Apparently, a job opened up in kindergarten and this started the domino effect of the moving teachers. This was her second year to teach. Next year will be year with her new certification. She was obviously surprised. Then the principal announced to our little gathering that the second grade teacher present was to be moved to my old position, 3rd grade reading. She was most surprised and upset.

The other two teachers are not happy with their move. However, to say that I'm happy comes with a "but". But...I'm sorry that they are not happy with their move, I am the only one that is happy and I am feeling very, very guilty.

Was I wrong to want that position? I didn't tell my principal to move my partner out of that job. In fact I told her not to move her just so I could fill the position. So I don't know why she made that move. Have I been selfish to want my original promised job position back? After all, if I had known that I was going to teach 3rd grade reading and give the TAKS test to my students, I would have turned the job down. I would have stayed teaching second grade at my former school. Should I be feeling guilty? I don't know.

Dreams

I hope that I dream when I'm dead. Not to sound morbid, but when I am sleeping really hard and dreaming, that is the best sleep. An intense dream can be as good as a great novel if it isn't too scary. So when I die, I hope that God will allow me to have dreams.

One time I had a dream that I was dead and in heaven. It looked like a fifties kitchen right out of "Happy Days". The floor was that black and white checked tile on which stood four silver chrome and red vinyl chairs with matching table. Kim and I were sitting at the table having coffee with our friends the Griffins. We were all happily talking and laughing with each other. No one had anywhere to go and there was obviously no stress. That was heaven in my dream. I awoke the next morning with a happy, content feeling about death. It was comfortable, homey and a place where I would be with my friends for eternity.
So I'm thinking that dreams will make my "sleep" a peaceful, tranquil place to spend my eternity. Could that be God's heavenly kingdom? I hope death isn't a big nothing. I pray that I remember people and enjoy eternal happiness.

Peeps, Marshmallow, & Chocolate

Okay, enough of that seriousness. On to more joyful, silly topics like "Chocolate Covered Peeps". Ha! I like the sound of that, "Chocolate Covered Peeps". Doesn't that just sound adorable??? Anyway, my friend, Deana, has a blog and she mentioned how it would be awesome to have those little pink Easter Peeps chocolate covered. I think that would be marvelous.

Then I started to think about all of the other marshmallowy centered sweet stuff I've tried. One that came to mind were Pinwheels. They are really big cookies that are mostly chocolate covered marshmallow sitting on a cookie bottom. My mother used to buy them sometimes. They were a real treat and because of their size, one was all that I could eat. Let's see, what are some more? Oh, yes, another marshmallow treat are Snowballs. They are pink coconut covered balls of marshmallow wrapped around a chocolate cake middle. There are two in a package like it was originally one round snowball cut in half. Man! I used to love those things.

Now this next one is a camping treat that, if you don't camp, you just must try sometime. Smores! Who could ever turn down a smore? I love those things. Roast a big marshmallow over an open flame. When I was a little girl, my mom would thread a couple of marshmallows on the tines of a long-handled meat fork. We had a gas stove and we'd roast them over the flame of the gas burner. I just thought that was the way to do it forever. Okay, well, after browning it sufficiently, (a flame or two on the marshmallow is a good thing), take a square of plain Hershey chocolate, lay it on a square of graham cracker, then squoosh the marshmallow on top of the chocolate sandwiching it between two graham crackers. The marshmallow oozes out the edges and melts the chocolate making this one of the best marshmallow treats ever.

Okay, any more out there?

"...To Continue"

Yesterday I wrote on this blog about how I tend to have an image of myself in my mind. That is to say, I have this ideal woman pictured in my brain. I have internalized her so much that I feel hard pressed to measure up to "her" expectations of the sort of person I should be.

In my blog, I briefly described that ideal woman. However, in that little description I left out some important qualities of "Superwoman". Above all, she is a woman seeking the heart of God. She reads her Bible daily, speaks of Jesus Christ in her daily conversations and attends church with regularity. I wish that were my claim to how I live, but sadly it isn't. Except that I do truly love God. I believe He is real and that He listens to me. He hears my prayers and talks to me in ways I'd have a difficult time explaining here. Although, I must confess that I'm not always obedient to what I hear Him telling me to do.

In church we are told to live the way we know that God would want us to. We are urged to follow after Jesus and live for Him, showing honor to His ultimate sacrifice for our sins. Do only those things in life that we know will be to the glory of God.

That is no small order to live up to. I've worked on my spiritual life all of my days on this earth. When I was a child of elementary school age, my parents were faithful in taking my brothers and I to church "every time the doors were opened." I can say with all truth that I was not allowed to miss services at my church unless I was sick with a fever. I even remember once breaking out in an allergic rash all over my body in the middle of a Southeast Texas summer and wearing long sleeves and Mother's face powder to church to cover up the rash. I wasn't allowed to miss church for something like a rash. Although, I write that I wasn't "allowed", I don't remember resenting my parents' insistence of my attending.

My "Superwoman" image in my head goes to church regularly, teaches a class, represents a Christian example to the people of the world and is willing to do anything needed in the service of the Lord. My image also studies her Bible daily, prays without ceasing and loves the unlovely. I must say that I do pray a lot. If it were not for my prayers, I'm afraid that I'd be in a lot worse shape than I am. One thing I have come to realize is that even though people come and go from my life, God has never left me. Even times when I quit talking to Him, He was there just waiting to pick up where we had left off in our conversations. He is dependable when no one else is.

This morning I was reading online in the Alcoholics Anonymous publication they call the "Big Book". In it I found a suggested prayer for the person wanting to overcome his/her addiction. It goes like this:
"God, I offer myself to Thee--to build with me and to do with me as thou wilt. Relieve me of the bondage of self, that I may better do Thy will. Take away my difficulties, that victory over them may bear witness to those I would help of thy Power, Thy Love, and Thy Way of life. May I do Thy will always!"
BB--Chpt5, p. 63

That whole chapter has to do with denying self and handing our lives over to a "higher power". Boy! That would relieve a lot of pressure now wouldn't it? I mean just think of it, to explode my "Superwoman" image and let God take over. The idea is to get to the point of doing more for others than for self. Now that seems to be a no-brainer, but not for a person obsessed with an addiction and how to satisfy that inner craving.

My head image of who I should be and who I am needs a make over. However, some of that old image isn't all bad. As much as "The Wife of Noble Character" in Proverbs 31 makes most of us want to hurl stones, she should be my head image. I am a selfish person seeking to satisfy my inner cravings and that needs to change. Thank the Lord that with my God all things are possible.

"Drop and Tuck"

“I had this person I knew I was made to be, yet it was mixed in with all of these other . . . people. As the lights were turned on, I saw I had all of this guilt and shame because I wasn’t measuring up to the image of the perfect person I had in my head. I had this idea of a superpastor — all of these messages I had been sent over the years that I had received and internalized.
…a passage from Rob Bell’s Velvet Elvis

Isn’t that a great quote? I borrowed it from Mike Cope's blog, http://www.preachermike.com/. We don’t have to be a pastor to understand the “we have all fallen short” idea in that quote. What really hits me between the eyes is the part about having the idea of a super “somebody” in my head and not measuring up. Yep, that’s me. I have an image in my head of how I should be and I gave up on that person long ago. But the guilt didn’t stop there. Not only do I know that I don’t measure up, now I’ve given up trying. All that it would take to be “superwoman” is too overwhelming and I have lost the energy to try to keep up.

As a young child, my older brother would often resort to playing football with me, his little sister, when none of the usual guys were around. I rather enjoyed those football games even though I almost never won. Just a two-“guy” game of tackle football in our front yard on a late summer evening with the cool St. Augustine grass under our bare feet brings to mind a sweet memory. Richard wasn’t known for playing gently and on more than one occasion I found myself face down as I was pushed to the ground while attempting to make a touchdown. That part of the game I didn’t like. So, as soon as the ball snapped I tucked it under my arm and ran as fast as my short chubby legs would take me. However, I was never a match for my big brother and I soon learned to “drop and tuck”. As he would get closer and closer to me, I avoided the tackle by simply squatting to the ground, hovering over the football and covering my head. Most of the time my brother would stop and yell, “Don’t stop!” I remember how frustrated Richard would get when I simply gave up.

As a grown up, I still give up on things that seem overwhelming. If a task appears too daunting I have to step back and take long breaks to get a proper perspective of what has to be done. Too many voices, too much noise, too many decisions will bog my brain and I either give up and gladly quit, or I stress over the job until it is finished. On the other hand, there are the times that I have fallen back on the ‘ole “drop and tuck” method, letting whatever would happen, happen.

I have an image of the person that I should be. In my head, I can keep the house all cleaned up, while cooking a roast beef in the oven. My husband is very happy to see me every day and greets me with a kiss because he can’t wait to taste the sweetness of my lips. Ha, yeah, that brought a smile to my face too. ;-) My school papers are always graded and the lesson plans are done weekly by Thursday afternoon. Ha, ha, ha, ha…that is so funny, it’s hilarious! Anyway, we can dream can’t we? If you ever see me drop and tuck though, have a heart and pick me up. It just means that life has overwhelmed me and I’m letting what will happen, happen.

Here is another good quote we all can learn from.
Luke 12:25-28
25 Can all your worries add a single moment to your life? Of course not! 26 And if worry can't do little things like that, what's the use of worrying over bigger things? 27 "Look at the lilies and how they grow. They don't work or make their clothing, yet Solomon in all his glory was not dressed as beautifully as they are. 28 And if God cares so wonderfully for flowers that are here today and gone tomorrow, won't he more surely care for you?