February 18, 2006

Age to Age

Last Thursday our school faculty gave a baby shower to a young teacher expecting her first baby. I remember our first baby shower and the anticipation of our first child. Here is a young woman embarking on that part of a woman's life that I am now miles away from.

Then today my husband and I attended a special birthday party for a friend's mom who is turning 90 years old. I felt young in the presense of this person almost a century old.

I guess I'm pretty sensitive to how old I am and how I'm aging. When I look at the scales I know that if I'd just quit drinking and eating so many sweets that I'd lose weight and look younger. I also think that if I'd get rid of my glasses and get contacts it would improve my appearance. Maybe a haircut and a new style would give youth to my look.

I'm glad to have passed my twenties and that my children are all grown up now. I didn't mind diapers and bottles back then, but I'm glad that the only ones I change and feed today are my grandchildren.

I know that at 53 years old I still have 40 years before I have that very special birthday party. That makes me feel pretty good about how old I am.

However, I know that if I want to get to that 90th birthday party that I'd better take better care of myself. I love holding those newborn babies and knowing they are not mine, spoil them just a little bit. I told my young expecting teacher friend that after her baby comes, I'd love to sit with the baby one afternoon.

Life changes and goes from young to old in the same space. It just boggles my mind sometimes to think about this road of life that I'm on. I've passed a lot of mildstones in my life and still have many to come.

Just something to ponder.

February 12, 2006

Names in the Newspaper

Okay, today will be short because the last two entries were huge megabytes of verbage...or garbage, take your pick.

Last week I was reading our local newspaper, The Baytown Sun, in the Travis Elementary teacher’s lounge while eating lunch. Yeah, we are a pretty boring bunch of teachers. Anyway, I picked my friend, Deanna Nall's column to read. I really like to read her stuff, she is so funny, with pretty much tongue in cheek humor. She is crazy about Target. When I shop at Target it is usually for someone else. Wedding gifts, baby shower gifts, my grandkids or maybe something for our house. If I ever find anything in the clothes department that fits a 50+ year old, short, slightly plump woman, its usually sweats or socks.

But I digress...back to my original story...I was reading Deanna's article when there in black and white 10-point font was my son's name, Kyle Martin. "Hey!" I said to those within earshot, "...there's my son, Kyle's, name is in this article!" The other teachers weren't as excited as I was. They smiled and gave me a nice nod. Even though I've read his name in print many times, I never get bored with seeing it. I was genuinely surprised and smiled as it made my day a little brighter.

Thanks Deanna for that little mention and the brief chance to think about my son during my boring lunch break.

Any Cups in Your Cabinets?

Recently I spent time in Galveston at a retreat with a group of ladies from my church. The overall theme dealt with "Filling our Cup"...you know, to rejuvenate, or refresh our inner person. As I read over the blue paper that listed the "things to bring", one of the items was a favorite drinking utensil like a coffee mug, glass, plastic cup, whatever. Missing the purpose of said "cup", I assumed the reason for bringing a cup was simply so we'd have our own coffee cup while on the retreat. That being the case, I grabbed a generic blue plastic cup that Kim had gotten at a trade show. It was functional with a nice handle and if I left it in the hotel room, it wouldn't be a great loss. After writing my last name, MARTIN, across it with a black Sharpie, I tossed it carelessly in my bag.

When the speaker at the event started talking about a cup that she had brought, how she loved the yellow flowers on it, I knew that my choice of cup was all wrong. As I listened to the room full of ladies tell about their individual cups, I sat half listening, half composing in my head. Some of their stories were very touching. Oh brother! What am I going to say about this industrial equipment cup?

After almost every other woman in the room had obviously understood the directions and had brought us all to tears with their touching coffee cup stories...it was my turn. I had to laugh as I admitted to my "sisters" that I had misunderstood the purpose of choosing the right cup. I then placed my cup, chosen without thought, back on the table and proclaimed that it held no sentimental meaning to me at all. However, now I would like to tell you about my coffee mugs and what I've learned about these often overlooked memories of our past.

First of all there is the set of chunky tan coffee mugs that was given to me by my mother. One year I told her how much I liked the coffee mugs at IHop. I like the heavy feel in my hand and the rounded shape and large size of the mug for drinking coffee. So at Christmas that year, I opened these wonderful mugs and now I think about my mom every time I hold one in my hand. If I told a story for all the coffee cups in my cabinets, you'd be begging for mercy and pleading for this article to end. So I won't.

However, as I glance at my coffee cup cabinet, I remember so many experiences and fun times in my family's life. I have a cup Kyle brought back from the Guggenheim Museum in New York and I remember the 6 weeks he spent at NYU studying film making. I see my cups from the Baytown Little Theater and remember all the plays we have taken part in. My ACU cup and my Ko Jo Kai cup remind me of my college days and close friendships I maintain today. The coffee mug from the 1996 Olympics in Atlanta reminds me of a long adventure we took on the road that summer with all three boys and the puppy we drove home with.

Of course, there are the countless number of coffee mugs I've received as a teacher from my students over the years. I don't remember who gave me which ones, but some I've kept because of their unique look. I know some of them were chosen because that child knew his or her teacher well enough to know that I'd like an over-sized pink M&M mug.

I was amazed to learn how much of my family's history can be found in my kitchen cabinet. There are so many memories tied up in vessels we use to hold our liquid comfort. Perhaps that is why we drink so much coffee. It isn't so much that we like it, we just want to remember those special times from our past.

So give it a try. Take a look at the coffee cups in your cabinets. See what memories flood back to mind and I'm sure it'll leave you with a smile and maybe even a tear as it did for me.

February 8, 2006

Fair warning: Long Story, "Domino" by ML

“THE ‘DOMINOS’ OF LIFE”
A parable of addiction
By Mary Lou Martin

The first domino Player innocently stood on end like a toy soldier. Perfectly balanced, in precise formation, each domino was placed carefully at attention. With the setting of each black, spotted piece Player would hold his breathe. Even though he was confident it wouldnÂ’t really happen, he was careful not to let it fall.

It was easy the first time that he tried to stand one domino up. He also recalled that he wasnÂ’t sure he even enjoyed it. Still there was something exciting in the play, something so intoxicating that Player could not resist the urge to place another domino in the line.

Over the course of time, opportunities to line up the dominos would present itself to Player again and again. Even though he knew deep down that there was something not right about what he was doing, he found its lure to be infectious. He didnÂ’t understand why he even felt like it was wrong. This was innocent play, no big deal. It was a fun social game that made Player feel happy. There was something about lining up dominos and the way people seemed to really enjoy it that intrigued him.

Player began lining up dominos with a friend one boring weekend back in college. Yes, they should have been studying, but killing a little time with a box of dominos wasnÂ’t going to hurt anything. It was exciting, but at the same time made him feel just a little guilty. Not too much, but enough that he didnÂ’t try it again for a long time. For hadnÂ’t he been warned many times of its dangers? Had he not heard all the talk from commercials on TV and lectures in school about how a player could get hooked on lining up dominos? He thought about the sorted lives that were depicted in health films at school. About how some poor slug of a guy would be so addicted to it that he would forget he had a family. HeÂ’d spend his last dime just to buy another box of dominos so his line would never stop. Yet somehow he just knew it would never happen to him. He knew with confidence that he would not become hooked on lining up dominos. After all those were just stories of extreme cases and he was different.

As years passed, he graduated and found an apartment and a buddy with whom to share the rent. He landed a job in the city writing for a local magazine. Player made a lot of friends and enjoyed getting together with them just to hang out after work. His life was right on track. However, he was never too far away from something he'd found was present everywhere he went in the city. Something that for now was just a fun game. So he would keep a box of dominos around just in case a buddy dropped by and was interested in a quick game before going out.

However, it was the times that he was alone in his apartment that the desire to line up dominos was the strongest. It was on those evenings that he would go to his bedroom and take a box of dominos out of a hiding place in his closet. Now lining dominos up alone with no real reason to do it, made him feel dishonest, like a hypocrite. But at the same time it made him feel alive and like he belonged with the dominos. Settling into the empty apartment with a fresh box of dominos made all the stress of the day and cares of the world melt away. Player relished that feeling.

One cold winter afternoon PlayerÂ’s roommate was out of town. He made several futile attempts to hook up with friends at a local domino bar after work. However, first one late deadline, then problems in the copy room made him late getting off that evening. Drained and tired from the dayÂ’s work, he decided to skip the bar and just go home. After changing clothes and starting a blaze in the fireplace, he warmed up some dinner. Feeling better after eating, Player felt the need for something more. So he took his domino box down from its shelf. The thrill he had as he touched the container knowing in just a few minutes, pleasure and comfort would be exposed for him to enjoy, tingled through his fingers. He sat in the room as he reminisced of other dominos lined neatly in rows with some curving around in circles intertwining with other circles. What a beautiful sight to behold! An army of dominos standing ready to guard and uphold the playerÂ’s right to add to the regiment.

First he put some mood music on the CD player and sat back on a pillow in front of the fire. Music playing softly in the background helped to relax PlayerÂ’s tired body. Then he gently lowered the box of dominos next to him where he sat on the floor in front of the fireplace. With the glow of the fire behind him, he stood a single domino on end. The tall black piece went down with smooth ease. The next domino was multi-spotted and stood close behind the first. Player continued setting them up one by one as carefully as he knew how. He spent an hour with a line that moved in and under the furniture legs. With glee he lined up dominos as fast as he could sometimes in straight lines, other times with curves. This was incredible because Player found that he could stand more up and still not feel the effects of his play. He also noticed that the more he lined up with no effects, the more he felt the desire to put more dominos down in line. So when he played the last domino, he realized that he must retrieve another box from his secret shelf. As he got up and walked, he noticed his footsteps were weaving. What was going on here? Was it because he felt such and adrenalin rush from the game that he found it hard to put one foot in front of the other one? This was something new for the Player, but in a silly way, it made him laugh out loud to himself. As he reached for the box on the shelf, he suddenly felt dizzy. Then just as quickly regained his composure. Player managed to take the box back where he was sitting in front of the fireplace.

With the box in one hand, Player lowered himself slowly down to continue his play. Picking up a solid black domino he noticed it was spotless. With nothing to blur his sights, Player stood his ebony soldier in line. It wobbled as if it was going to fall. PlayerÂ’s eyes grew big and his heart raced as he watched the black domino teeter and tilt from side to side. Then, in a flash, it fell. It only took seconds for the whole line of dominos to lay defeated like wounded warriors. Player cried out to the regiment to stop, but of course it was to no avail. They were falling and there was nothing he could do to save it now. With tears of anguish, Player fell with them and slept until morning.

PlayerÂ’s talent to stand dominos on end without one of them falling had been his safeguard or his excuse to continue. His game with dominos had been his secret as he fell deeper into its trenches. For he was not sure the other players would understand his love of such reckless folly. Many of his peers had never even touched a domino therefore could not possibly have a frame of reference for such activity. How could they relate to the delight he felt each time he stood one of his dominos on end? Still there were other friends and even family members that lined up dominos occasionally. Among them were even some who played and seemed keenly aware of the dangers lining up dominos could cause. They enjoyed it with caution and intuitively knew exactly how much was enough. They possessed a power to stop before any domino got out of their control. One misplaced domino and the whole line could rally back to the start. A defeat of that kind was sure to ruin any player in the eyes of the upright people he knew. Though that be true, it would be his own self-respect that would be ruined forever.

So Player too became cautious. He watched others that controlled their dominos. He began to form quite a library with books he read about the addictions of players who had fallen. Player educated himself using the stories of others whose lives had fallen into ruin. He knew that he would have to be more careful. He never wanted to experience falling with a line of dominos again.

However, he could never manage to stop lining up the dominos completely. He would try and stop for a brief period of time. But each time he would go back to his game, he became better at placing the dominos. Although at the same time he also became more careless with his game. He began to take chances in the placement of the dominos by trying to see how many he could put down without falling. At other times, with a domino in each fist, he set one down hard followed quickly by the next. This thrilled the player for the rush and buzz came to him quicker. Player would also slip out from home at night just to purchase more dominos when his supply ran low. There too he was careful not to be seen by misunderstanding players. Yet the lone player smiled at the game and challenge to continue the line with confidence that his domino soldiers were unmovable. Each and every piece maintained a solid stance as the sure-handed player set them up one or two at a time. He felt invincible because he and his dominos didnÂ’t fall. He thought he was learning control of the game. What a rush!

Although his practice of setting up dominos had been a sort of secret in the beginning, more and more people found out about his indulgence. However, they didn’t seem to notice that he was lining up dominos every day. On special gatherings Player enjoyed lining up dominos with his friends. There were even some family socials that involved setting up a few playing pieces. Knowing there were potential dangers for anyone who began the pastime, he still participated with his loved ones alongside. “They’ll be just fine,” he thought, “they’re old enough to know what they are doing.”

Then, one day our player noticed that a domino rocked on end and appeared unbalanced as he carried out his game. Had his hand shook when he put the domino in line? “No,” he thought, “I don’t shake. I have this under control.” For he certainly knew of other players that had difficulty placing their dominos in a row while keeping them steady. He also had observed with pity as the more advanced players’ hands would sometimes tremble as they attempted to position a domino at the end of a long line. He knew the sad end of a player who shook. Ultimately, that player would weaken and his domino line would topple and fall headfirst into one standing in front of it causing every single domino in the line to fall in rapid succession. But that only happened to players who were weak with no stamina. Player had set up dominos for years now. Ignoring the signs of dependency on dominos, he told himself that would never happen to him. At least not again.

As the days of playing dominos passed into months and the months into years, Player’s line of black-spotted rectangles had grown in large proportions. One night as he stood back and looked upon his mighty soldier-like success, he noticed that the dominos nearer the end of the line were askew in relation to the ones at the front of the line. Had it been that the player was not noticing where he was placing the dominos anymore? Had he gotten careless with his game? All at once he was concerned. “Perhaps I should just stop here. I won’t set up any more dominos and the chances of my line’s falling in disgrace will be less likely.”

Player confessed to his roommate. He told him that he had begun to depend on having dominos around and how he didnÂ’t think he could make it through a day without lining them up. To his surprise, the friend agreed pointing out that he had noticed all the dominos in the apartment long ago. Player didnÂ’t know what to think about his buddyÂ’s response. How could he have known that PlayerÂ’s fascination with lining up dominos was more than a casual social game? Why had he not said anything before? But that wasnÂ’t important. What was important was that now it was out in the open. A problem existed and Player had to face the truth.

So, Player shut the door to the domino room. He thought about removing all of the dominos altogether from the apartment. He threw out all of the partially played dominos. But there were dominos yet to be played in his cabinets and Player just didnÂ’t see the point in discarded perfectly unused playing pieces. So he left them in the cabinets and on his secret shelf. It was hard at first to resist opening the door, but he willed himself not to go into the room. He thought that in time he would get over the compulsion to start his game again.

However, a habit had been formed and Player found it hard to resist the pull of the domino line. Upset and agitated that the line so innocently begun many years previous had such a hold on him, he decided to withdraw completely from any likeness of dominos. He decided to change his location get a new job and completely severe the thing that held his life in captivity.

With an agreement from his roommate, they found a place on the other side of town. To PlayerÂ’s delight a new job opened up not far form his new apartment. But try as hard as he could, there was no escape. For everywhere he turned his fellow players were lining up to place their dominos in a row. They laughed on their domino high and beckoned him to join them and play. Social events were especially difficult for Player to resist setting up a domino or two. His own family would bring dominos to his new apartment inviting him to participate. He tried explaining to friends and family he once set up dominos with that he had quit and didnÂ’t do it anymore. No one ever really asked him why he quit or had noticed that it had become a problem. It was just accepted and fine with them.

Even though they supported his decision to quit, they themselves never quit bringing dominos to set up in front of Player. He ached to talk to his closest friend again about the problem. He wanted to explain and yet what would he say? It was hard to explain to anyone because most of time no one had ever noticed. They didnÂ’t know that he could set up dominos for hours at a time and not let a single one fall. His cover up was better now than ever before. No one, not even his roommate, really knew he could set them up fast and be driven to turn the next corner without a fallen domino. Sometimes, exhausted from all the lining up he had done, Player would simply lie down and fall asleep. None of his friends, family or even his roommate realized that this had become an obsession with him. Lining up dominos was part of who he was now. He thought about giving it up everyday, but then he would look at the closed door on the cabinet and pull out another domino.

What had he done? How would he ever stop setting up dominos? ItÂ’s hard to undo so many years of doing something that once just filled time. Even if he could manage to stop, what would become of the other players he had influenced? What if they became addicted to the game like he had? How would he face himself every morning knowing he had brought them down with him? But it was too late. Many of the players he used to line up dominos with were heavy into the game. Like Player, they found it too hard to quit. Some of his family who were still lining up dominos never noticed the menace creeping into their lives like a clinging vine.

Player isnÂ’t playing anymore. He quit lining up dominos before his last one fell. However, he lapses from time to time. When he passes a domino bar and hears the cheers as someone inside has set another one down, he finds it hard to resist the tug to join the fun. Mostly Player is trying to recover from years of denial. The truth is, he has a problem with dominos. A problem that Player had to admit he had. He just hoped it wasnÂ’t too late for the players that were important to him to stop before they fell.

I hope it isn’t too late for you either. Whether your “domino” is an addiction or a secret sin you just can’t shake, quit while you are ahead. Pray that God will remove the urge or desire that draws you back into the dark to whatever your “dominos” may be.

February 4, 2006

Accepting Our Place

Have you ever just wanted something so badly that it was all you could think about? It was all you could think about to the point of making you miserable that you weren't doing it yet? I have done just that very thing for around five years. For all that time and perhaps even more, I haven't liked my job. I'm a school teacher in elementary school and it just wasn't doing it for me anymore. The children were getting on my nerves. The school was asking more of me than I was willing to give. I didn't have time to put in on my lessons or the energy to try.

In 2003 the little school of about 265 students where I'd taught 2nd grade for around 15 years, moved to a larger school building. The old 70 year old school had served the neighborhood well. It was quaint and the teachers knew all of the kids in the building. The great thing about the old classroom was the size. It was huge compared to what we moved to and what I now teach in. The spacious classroom had windows across both sides of the room and had long chalkboards to fill up with all sorts of lessons. Behind two long bullentin boards at the back of the classroom were 30 little cubby holes stacked in sets of two with two coat hooks hanging down below. They was perfect for a classroom of 22 or more to have a place to stow their backpacks, lunch kits and coats. It was a fabulous room I'm telling you. I even had two big walk-in closets for storage. They don't make classrooms like that anymore in Goose Creek ISD.

Then we moved to the "new" building. It had been built to house special needs students and so the classroom sizes were much smaller than in the old school. Most of the classrooms were only meant to have around 12-18 children in them. Most didn't have windows except for a few that had a single narrow window that was difficult to see out of because of how deep into the outside wall the window was set in. I was in a classroom at the very end of a very long hallway. My trek down the hard concrete floors to and from the office area, library and cafeteria just about ruined my ankles. Besides that the rooms still smelled like a hospital, and I don't mean in a good way. The school district painted, laid new carpets and did their best to make it new. However, it wasn't new. The odd room configuration was awkward. There were no water fountains in the hallways or classrooms. The restrooms were in some classrooms but not all. The hallway restrooms were down that long hallway up by the cafeteria. I was one of the lucky ones and had a restroom right in my room.

Besides having a hard time getting used to this "new" building, (it as actually around 30 years old) my stuff had been plopped down in my space a day before our school year started with the teacher meetings. I was to have one workday that year to put up all the stuff that I'd brought from the old school building. I didn't have the time to completely unpack before the students were to start. So all that first year, I searched daily for books, papers, lesson plans and other things I needed to teach with among my boxes of junk. I couldn't seem to settle into the space. I was not a happy camper.

The next year I decided that the kids that had more difficulty changing classes and teachers should be self-contained and I would volunteer to teach them. It was a horrible year as I had one particular child that followed me around the room and moaned because he didn't want to do anything, he was escorted from my class almost every day kicking and screaming. Some days I would just go to the narrow window just outside my class in the hallway, look out and cry. I hated my job. I felt imprisioned. I wanted to quit.

The next year I had an opportunity to move to a new campus that was only 3 blocks from my house. Joy! Because 3rd grade takes the dreaded Texas Assessment of Knowledge and Skills, I never wanted to teach that grade. No siree, I wanted no part of that kind of stress. But my friend assured me that if I came that I would just teach writing and it wasn't tested until 4th grade. Joy! Joy! I like to write and I like to teach writing. I got the job, but I never got to teach writing even for one day. The first week of our teacher meetings the reading teacher was transferred to another school to be a parent educator of all things. Since I was the only one on my team with all the reading teacher classes and background, my principal asked me to teach the 3rd grade reading and prepare the students for TAKS. I didn't want to do it and I was resentful because I had left another school where I wasn't happy and now I still wasn't going to be happy. I was wanting to retire so badly I could taste it.

Well I'm back at that school again this year and I'm still teaching 3rd grade reading. I started out this year in a better humor having done it one year and having a little better knowledge of what this school expected from its teachers. But I still wanted to retire. I still let the kids get on my nerves and I still longed to stay at home. I began going online to the teacher retirement system site. I talked to people that were getting ready to retire and others that had already retired. Most of them were friends that I had worked with. I am retirement age and I would have retired after this year if I hadn't taken out my retirement money some 15 years ago to live on. To the TRS the 27 years that I have taught in Texas public schools looks like only 17 to them. Disappointment and desperation was whelming up inside of me and making me feel even more trapped. How could I stand to do this for even one more year?

Then a week ago I went on a retreat with some of the teachers I work with. (See my last blog, "Capturing Kids' Hearts.) It was a training to teach us coping skills and relational skills in dealing with our students. The whole three days were incredible and I came back a changed person. My job seems important now and my mind has begun to wrap around the fact that I can teach another year or maybe even five.

There is a scripture in the Bible that speaks of being content in whatever state you are in. I thought while at the retreat that I had some new knowledge that I was eager to try with my students. Then I thought about retirement in about two years. That wasn't a lot of time to grow my skills. I finally admitted what I've known all along, that we really could not afford for me to retire. We owed too much money and our retirement wasn't going to be enough to live on yet. So I made up my mind to quit obsessing over something that had not happened yet. I have to live for now and forget being unhappy with my job. That has made all the difference in the world. I am more content with what I do. I try to plan better lessons and relate to my students better. I believe I am more patient with the kids too. Choosing to be content and accepting of my place has made me a happier person.

"Not that I complain of want; for I have learned, in whatever state I am, to be content." Philippians 4:11

February 1, 2006

"Capturing Kids' Hearts"


"Capturing Kids' Hearts" is a Flip Flippen trademark to teach behavior management for use with children and teens. The methods have been proven effective in classrooms as well as child rearing in the home. Last weekend I attended a retreat with 7 of my co workers to learn about ways to implement the program in my classroom where I teach. Here are my thoughts about our awesome 3 days in Round Top, TX.
__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
“My Thoughts about Capturing Kids Hearts’
By Mary Lou Martin

First of all it was a much needed retreat for the eight of us that attended. From the moment we entered the 3 story, antique-filled house the stress of our everyday lives seemed to melt away. Upon our arrival we were welcomed by friendly handshakes and greetings from the two trainers we were soon to know well.

Our trainer was Brian, an all American athlete from Mississippi. Having taught history and coached track for 14 years, he had learned much about relating to his students. His relational teaching style made him a perfect candidate for the job of teen leadership. Teen leadership is a program for middle to high school teens. It molds the child into a person of integrity that will go out better prepared to meet challenges in the college and job world of their futures. However perfect Brian seemed, like all of us, he was not without his personal struggles which he openly shared with us.

We also learned that Brian is married, with 2 young daughters, Mary Margaret and Natalie. Mary Margaret is well on her way to becoming an accomplished gymnastics champion and her sister, Natalie born with a condition that required a stint to be implanted in her head, is an outgoing 5 year old and according to her daddy a real charmer.

What, you may ask, does this have to do with our experience at the Capturing Kids’ Hearts retreat? I would have to answer, “Everything.” The relationships we were all able to form with each other are at the core of what CKH is all about. Brian was open with his personal stories and made us feel the comfortable, safe environment we should all strive to establish in our own classrooms.

In order to do that, we make ourselves approachable from the moment we shake their hands or give them a hug. As much as first impressions impact the way we think of any person, the same holds true for our students toward us. I was impressed to learn that it takes only 30 seconds to make a first impression and 21 additional encounters to undo or change a bad first impression. That’s something to consider if we want these kids on our side.

A five step teaching model was presented and built around the word EXCEL. Engage, X-plore, Communicate, Empower and Launch. Those 5 steps are said to be used by master teachers. This is from our workbook. We are the master teachers when we are willing to set aside our personal agenda for a greater cause. We are master teachers when we serve and empower others. As master teachers our goal is to empower our students to succeed.

Implementing Capturing Kids’ Hearts in our classrooms and on our campus will take time because of the process and labor it will take to build relationships. For just as Brian warned us, if we drop it all on our students at once, they will not know what to do with it. When we returned we explained to our 3rd graders where we had been and why. Something that was easy to try the first day was to greet and do some handshaking at my door. Many of our students are huggers so we got a little of both with not much resistance.
The next tool I was able to practice this week were the 4 questions designed for dealing with misbehavior.
1. Excuse me? What are you doing?
2. What are you supposed to be doing?
3. Are you doing it?
4. What are you going to do about it?
Those are magic questions because almost each time I got the right answers and it redirected their behavior. The next thing I’ll try is writing a Social Contract. That should be interesting with our 3rd graders. But I am feeling confident it’ll have positive effects on our classes.

Capturing Kids’ Hearts can change a lot of negativism that may be present in our school. Not only will we see significant changes in our students, I believe the real changes will be seen in the way we the teachers relate not only to the students, but to each other.

What a wonderful conference and learning experience this was! It revived and reframed my attitude about teaching. It drew my colleagues and I closer together. I’ll never hear the word Honky-Tonk again without thinking about Robyn’s favorite song…at 6:00 a.m. in the morning. Or Suzy’s card game of Phase 10, which was a new one for me and I won! And how could I ever forget Sheryl’s wake-up call with a cowbell? As I said earlier, relationships are at the core of Capturing Kids’ Hearts. What better way to learn about growing relationships with our students than to first grow them in each other?
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