December 24, 1941

On this day, 69 years ago, Elton (Jiggs) Ritchey and Louise Bond drove to Waurika, Oklahoma, near their hometown of Ryan, to be married by a Justice of the Peace. I've heard stories that my dad's brother didn't even know they were married until the next morning, which would have been Christmas Day. Now, these many years later, I sit at my computer remembering my beloved parents and how they would have enjoyed watching how our family has grown.

Every Christmas Eve my dad bought poinsettias for Mom on their anniversary. I'm not sure when that custom for them began, but I think I might have had something to do with it.  If I thought Daddy was not going to get Mama an anniversary gift, I told him he had to buy her something. So, any gifts he once bought, evolved into the annual buying of the Christmas flowers. Mama planted them next to the house in their back yard where they continued to grow and bloom for a few years after each Christmas.

I have no memory of my parents ever celebrating their anniversaries other than by simply being with family on Christmas Eve. My uncles, aunts and cousins, accompanied by my mother's parents would often come on Christmas Eve.  We would all tear into presents we exchanged with each other.  Back then, no one drew names or worried over what to get for everyone. There were a lot of presents under our tree for everyone.  Then, on Christmas Day, Santa Claus would leave his unwrapped gifts for us kids.  Though I always knew Santa was my parents, and I was not allowed to tell my cousins, some years I wondered.

My brothers and I may have given our parents an anniversary gift sometimes, but I doubt it would have been every Christmas Eve. I do remember that we bought them an engraved silver platter for their 50th wedding anniversary.  Why I thought they would want such a nonfunctional gift I don't know, but they made out like it was beautiful. They didn't want a big party and by then, Daddy was beginning to lose his memory. So, at their home in Port Neches, with engraved napkins, cake and punch, we celebrated the 50 years Louise and "Jiggs" Ritchey had spent together as husband and wife.

Every Christmas when red poinsettia start making their appearance in florist shops, I still think about my parents and their Christmas Eve wedding anniversary.  Then, I miss them with a heavy heart and tears.  I can still picture how Daddy would get such pleasure out of watching my sons play and be silly.  In fact, he was as much a big kid as they were and often got down on the floor to play along with them.  I can still see Mama's joy as she dressed my boys in pajamas she had lovingly sewn for them,  or as she stood in the kitchen cooking all our favorite foods.  It brought them both great joy to indulge their children and grandchildren for whom they loved dearly, with these acts of love.

Today, on this Christmas Eve, I am remembering Mama and Daddy, their lives and all the generations who followed their marriage on December 24, 1941.

Mama and Daddy, I miss you every day.
Happy Anniversary and Merry Christmas!

Improving My Technology Skills

My natural talents do not lean toward the maths and sciences. Although, working with computers and smart phones is a little like figuring out puzzles and "I like". Completing challenging puzzles with definite solutions is very satisfying.

First, back in the late '80's, we purchased an Apple computer with the old green and black monitor screen with basic word processing and spreadsheet capabilities.  Then, came email and it was only getting better.  I used to think I would have no real need for a computer. Wow! Was I ever wrong!  I sit at this computer practically all day!  Please, now, don't judge. Ha!

Kim upgraded his iPhone for Christmas this year. Lucky me because I got his hand-me-down.  I never thought I'd have a need for an iPhone, opting for a less expensive cell phone.  Then, as the result of an online search, I discovered that an iTouch would do the things I wished my current cell phone can't do easily.  So, when Kim told me that his old iPhone would be much like an iTouch. Hey!  "That's a cool idea!", I thought.

Now, my initial thought was to use the iPhone like an iPod for my iTunes. My little Nano served its purpose quite nicely, but it was time for an upgrade. This used iPhone can hold all of my iTunes library with room to spare!

However, it didn't stop with iTunes and I began downloading apps to access Facebook, Twitter and email.  What a revolution!

So, now I've upgraded my blog design and I'm enjoying a new email address that I can access with my used iPhone and I watch YouTube in bed. Ha! I'm liking this digital age, math and science skills aside; I think I'm doing pretty good with my new technology skills.

When I save up my dollars and cents the next move on this technological road will be to upgrade my Mac laptop and get my own NEW iPhone.

Christ Was Born On Christmas Day

“We’re going to do something a little different” were the words spoken by a minister I was listening to online. Those words thrill me when I hear a preacher say them. Those words mean a preacher or other church leader is shaking things up a bit. Those seven words invite us as church practitioners to practice our craft. We stand up out of our comfort zones during a worship service to shake one another’s hands, pray with our neighbor, offer a word of encouragement to our fellow travelers along this journey of life and there in our midst, Christ is with us. What joy there is when we "do something a little different!"

A pastime I’ve grown to love is listening to some great church leaders online. Randy Frazee, Max Lucado, Rick Atchley & Phil Ware speak for congregations in San Antonio, Ft. Worth & Abilene, Texas. Since I live too far to drive to their congregations every Sunday morning, I have to rely on the Internet to bring me their messages each week. Strong messages about living a Christian life, listening to God, obeying His leading and recalling Bible stories like the one describing the night Jesus Christ, Immanuel, was born. That holy night when God came to earth and dwelt among us as one of us.

While so many Christians are concerned that greeting each other with “Happy Holidays” is taking Christ out of Christmas, I am concerned that many of my beloved brothers and sisters don’t put enough Christmas into this season. Its one of those quirks about growing up Church of Christ that I am glad to say appears to be fading away in most of our brotherhood. Though still, there are some traditionalists who think nothing of the Sunday before Christmas as anything special. Sunday worship usually continues as if nothing different was happening outside the walls of the building in December.

Last Saturday, our family Christmas gathering was held at our house with our three sons, their wives and children. My mother and father in law were also here and we had a grand time laughing, singing and enjoying the Christmas cheer of the season. A special activity I wanted all of the family to share was to attend church on Sunday morning in the congregation in which our sons had grown up. To have all three boys and families in one place at the same time are rare and for that gathering to be at church was almost extinct! So, I was anxious for them to visit this particular day because I was certain there would be no special reference to Christmas. True to what I thought, that was the case, save a single carol, “Hark the Herald Angels Sing”, which was sung first before all by kids and boys arrived to hear it. (With that many getting ready for church in the same house, they were a little late.) Our family loves to sing and we do a decent job of it, so it was somewhat disappointing that we didn’t sing more seasonal songs of Christ’s birth. However, the most disappointing part was the message delivered by a visiting missionary who preached on fearing God. “Fear God!” should have been, “Christ is born in a manger, let us worship and adore him! Glory to God in the highest!”

Advent, anticipation of the Christ’s birth, should be part of our traditions. We don’t have to know the exact date of Christ’s birth to celebrate and since the rest of the free world has chosen December 25^th as that day, why do we not join them?

Many Churches of Christ have already joined the majority of Christians in celebrating Christ’s birth at this time of year. My Internet worship is evidence of that fact. Many of their pastors talk on Sunday mornings before Christmas about that holy night and the days leading up to the host of angels singing. So many Churches of Christ has long ago become followers of Advent for the entire month of December. Perhaps one day the place where I have worshiped for 35 years will also move toward Bethlehem with anticipation of Christ’s birth at this time of year in a more corporate worship manner.

Parties are nice and fun, but usually focus more on Santa and not as much on Jesus' birthday. Santa, as my mother used to tell me, is a fun character to read about in pretend stories, but we need to remember he is not real. Jesus is real. A real baby, our Savior, was born in a stable to a virgin those many, many years ago in Bethlehem. My prayer is that soon all will come and adore him as Christ, the Savior during the Christmas season.

Christmas Blessings

This Christmas I have felt a happiness that had left me for many years during this season of joy. Maybe it is because we have 3 wonderful grandchildren who will be coming to our house this year along with our 3 sons and their wives. The house is decorated with Christmas stockings, Santas, snowmen and two Christmas trees. Christmas shopping is done and the gifts are almost wrapped to put under our Christmas tree. I even purchased a Fisher Price Nativity action toy for the kids to play with and a storybook with its beautiful illustrations entitled, “The Christmas Baby”.

Christmas music has been playing since December 1st. I've added to my library of holiday music with purchases of one new album (Straight No Chaser is fantastic!) and some singles from iTunes all under the genre of Christmas. I love Christmas music; it is so happy and cheerful. How can anyone be blue when listening to the Muppets sing “Little Saint Nick”?

This year’s Christmas picture card are four snapshots of us two, the 3 boys, wives, and grandkids. Not a group photograph, but separate pictures of the 11 of us. Our family has grown into a fun group of people whom I love very much. I'm very excited about spending some quality time with all of them this holiday.

Already this season Kim and I have been to a nice festive Christmas parade, church services, concerts, and the play A Christmas Carol at the Alley theater; we even got to see our grandson in his Christmas program at school. I have also read some about Advent and the anticipation of Christ’s birth this year. The church I grew up in did not join most of the world in the belief that Christmas is a time to celebrate Christ’s birth. There were normally no poinsettias decorating the front of the auditorium. Although there was the year Kim and I were married on Dec. 21, a Saturday night, in my church building, and I'm sure the flowers were still there the next morning for Sunday services. Even though, I didn’t grow up with Advent as a religious observance, it has been a satisfying education to read about the practice of Advent. It is something I hope to observe more in future Christmas seasons.

Early next week I have the opportunity to help in the distribution of food to those families finding themselves in the position of needing assistance from the church and community. As I put food into grocery bags and give it to those families, I will thank God for all He has provided to my family and me. “There, but for the grace of God go I”.

May this holiday season find you in good health and with people you love.

Merry Christmas!

Season of Advent

Growing up in the Church of Christ, it was not our custom to celebrate Christmas as the birth of Jesus. I was taught that we celebrate Jesus' birth every Sunday, which of course we do. We were also taught that no one knows the date of Jesus’ birth, also true. Both of the former excuses were given as reason why we "do not celebrate Christmas" as Jesus' birth. Our secular focus was more on the traditional round-bellied jolly fellow in the red suit. Not to knock St. Nick, who was by the way a real person of the 3rd century; but why did our elders prefer our belief in the jolly ole elf at Christmastime, over celebrating Jesus’ birth?

Fortunately, things are changing in Churches of Christ and we no longer ignore the holiday as a time to celebrate Jesus' birthday. Though still a bit hesitate to proclaim the holiday of Jesus birth as much as our other Christian friends do, we hear more teaching about baby Jesus at Christmas.

This year the practice of Advent, the 25 days leading up to the birth of our Savior, and the manner in which most of the Christian world prepares for Christmas Day, has a bit of intrigue for me. It would seem that we, as Christians, should prepare ourselves for Christmas day and the celebration of Christ’s birth. For Christians, to us a child is born and Jesus birth is reason enough for joyful celebration.

As the result of past childhood lessons, it has only been in the past decade or so that I felt justified to join believers in telling The Birth Story at Christmas. As our three sons were growing up, we often mentioned Santa Claus and asked them what they wanted Santa to bring them for Christmas. Not intending to discount the Christ child’s birth, Jesus being born in a manger wasn’t the foremost story of the season. The likeness of Santa with his fluffy white beard and red cap, hung on our front door to greet our delighted children. The holiday wreath that adorns our door during more recent Christmas seasons is more for decoration than a spiritual meaning of something eternal or Advent. Until recently, I didn’t understand the meaning of the emblems. The purple, pink and white candles lit each week of Advent, burning inside evergreen twigs, twisted together as a wreath, are for the purpose of preparing Christians for the coming of Christ.

Therefore, for the next 25 days, I plan to observe Advent with prayer, reading of scriptures and lighting of candles to set my focus on baby Jesus who came in peace to save the world from its sin. Joy to the world, the Lord has come!

Thinking On the Positive

Positive. I want to write a positive post this morning. This coming year my thoughts and words need to be more positive than in past years. My blessings are numerous and I need to give God praise and thanksgiving for all that He has provided to my family this year.

Kim was diagnosed with lymphoma at the beginning of 2010. He is now cancer free. Though there are a few health related issues with which he deals, still he is well. What better blessing could I ask for? A year ago, in 2009, we were blessed once again with a beautiful grandchild. Olivia was born on Kim's birthday, Nov. 16. Kim will forever share that day of celebration with his granddaughter. What joy we all felt that night at the hospital as our son, Kyle, rushed out into the waiting room to share his good news of Olivia's arrival! Kyle had such a look of happiness like none I had ever seen on his face before.

Our other two sons live nearby. We are so blessed to get to see our children often. Jason and his family are near enough that we can be with our oldest two grandchildren often and know their own unique personalities. Aidan and Regan are growing up and are so smart. It brings us much joy to be with them and listen to them talk and share the many things they are learning every day. Ryan and Amy live here in the same town. They have become involved in the community theater here where they both bring joy to audiences as they share their talents. We are blessed to be able to share in Ryan's life as he has embarked on the difficult task of educating middle school children.

This past Thanksgiving holiday, I was blessed to be able to see an uncle and aunt of mine with whom I spent many holidays in years past. They are nearing 80 years old and even though they have had some health problems, were looking good to me on the day. What a blessing for me indeed that I had that opportunity to talk with my mother's younger brother. I must do that more often in 2011.

No negative complaining or whining in my post this day for I have much to praise God for as I ponder my many blessings. Its easier than we think it is to count our blessings. That old habit of thinking on the negative has to change and I pray God can make that happen in 2011. God is good!

Just Like Riding a Bike

Yesterday I went back into the classroom after being retired for 3 years. It isn't permanent, just a long term sub job. After only 2 days, I find that it feels strangely natural. For one thing the school where I am teaching is the same architectural layout as the building where I taught my last 3 years. In fact I finished my teaching career in 3rd and this sub job is in 3rd. I am in the same hallway in the current school as I was in my old school building. Therefore, except for the school colors, I feel as if I am right back in the same school building.

I'm not going to say that I am thrilled to be back teaching. AFter all, I retired for a reason. It's a hard, tiring job to teach school. Standing on my feet all day, with a rare minute of quiet, I come home worn out just like I did those last years I taught. The students in this class for the most part are very sweet children. They follow the rules with few exceptions. They ones who mind outnumber the ones that push the envelope. Its not a bad gig, but like I said, I'm beat. Definitely feel the years in this body, especially in my feet and legs. Ouch!

This current sub job is one that I feel confident in doing. My first teaching position after college came one hardly a month after our wedding. This December, Kim and I will be married 36 years. I retired with 30 years of experience which doesn't count the 2 years I substitute taught while staying home with the boys for 2 years. When you work at a job that long, its what you know well enough to walk in to just about any teaching situation and pull it off fairly well with little preparation. However, it still doesn't make it any more desirable at this stage in my life.

My long term job will only last for 8 weeks and I am sure I will be glad when it is over. However, I am glad to have the chance to earn some money doing what I was trained to do best.

Going back to teaching full-time in a classroom after 3 years off is like riding a bike. And we all know that you just don't forget how to ride.

Hi! My Name is Sissy

Growing Old is Not for Sissies. You have likely heard this phrase before. That short statement resonates more meaning for me as fifty waves goodbye and sixty is seen up ahead. There is nothing silver coated or fur lined about passing the 55+ mark of life. The physical aspect alone is certainly not for sissies. Even fifty-something bullies beg for mercy when faced with the needle sticking, pill popping, early morning aches and pains our age has morphed us into. Though I'm thankful to even be walking, breathing and talking with some sibilance of sanity, it is clear to me that growing old really isn't for sissies.

All of those years of not sticking to my diet, has left me with little self control to eat healthy. Consequently, my body has grown comfortable and relaxed sitting 40 pounds heavier than my target weight. Alright, not so comfortable. Truth is my knees buckle under the added weight and anti-inflammatory medication now shares space with other over-the-hill drugs on my bathroom shelf. Wishing I'd climbed onto the health train a lot sooner, any energy I once had to exercise and eat right has unfortunately lost steam. There was a time aerobics classes was part of my weekly schedule. Now there is a Yoga book for people 50+ in years sitting on my bookshelf waiting to be perused. Seeking less strenuous forms of exercise that won't send my knees into permanent lock-down, Yoga seems to be the path to take.

In addition retirement is not for sissies either. Retirement is the oasis of growing old, tiny umbrellas in cocktails and all. We think we are going to do whatever we want, vacation, spend more time with friends and go to the Bahamas. Unfortunately, after the income is cut in half and the bills are not, those cocktails taste pretty bitter while the Bahamas becomes a fictional land far, far away. Having worked one profession for 35 years, searching for a part time job has now cut into my full time retirement. Nope, retirement is not for sissies either.

I wish I had great words of wisdom and answers to this plight, but I don't. Many jobs exist, though not in my field nor do I possess the qualifications needed. There are jobs I could take if I'm willing to stand on my aching feet 8 hours a day stocking shelves and pricing underwear, some evenings and weekends for an hourly wage. Office jobs available to me are either seasonal or pay below minimum wage. That's a big gulp after earning a master's degree and working 35 years in a professional career for a salary.

And to think, my mom used to nickname me "Sissy". *Sigh!* I'm just saying!

Back to School...NOT

Here we are again at the beginning of the school year. I am not decorating my living room in Fall Leaves or school buses. I am not putting out 22 school boxes and filling each with crayons, glue or scissors. I will not write 22 names on 3 pocket folders each, 2 spiral notebooks each and 5 different grade lists. I am not making name tags or desk tags. I have Kim, Homer and Baby’s names pretty much solid in my memory bank. I will not sit in faculty meetings sipping my coffee, while doodling with the new sharpie pens and notepads the office staff put on our tables nor will I nibble the free chocolates scattered about to keep us awake. I will not be the leader of 5 other teachers who likely will be unhappy with me when I have to call a team meeting. I will not put posters on my kitchen walls listing the “consequences” for not following the 5 basic rules of behavior. I will not be inhaling my lunch in only 20 min. in order to meet a group of 22 wiggling, screaming 3rd graders only to realize when I do that I forgot to use the restroom. I will not be running off worksheets for Kim to work on in his “free time” nor will I give him a list of books he can read and take AR tests on his computer. I will not fill my desk trays with nurse passes, office passes, restroom passes nor absentee slips. I will not grade Kim or any other person’s work in my house. I will not laugh on Monday when the cars picking up students at my former school are lined up all the way to my house.

I will write notes to my friends through email and Facebook. I will spend time writing the church news for members to read each Sunday. I will write the theater newsletter and learn to use the theater's new online communications system. I will write on my personal blog at least once a month. I will go to the restroom at any time of the day I want to. I will read at least one book that is not instruction or self help and just for fun. I will try to be a better person, which is part of the Travis Elem. Code. I will work when I want and stop at a decent hour. I will get at least 7 hours of sleep a night. I will volunteer when the need is present. I will watch TV any time of the day I wish (HGTV IS ON ALL DAY). I will sing when I feel like singing. I will smile at a student walking home from my former place of employment.

Its not much, but its the least I can do to help get this school year off to a better start! :-D

Marriage and the AARP

This morning I noticed our AARP (American Association of Retired Persons) magazine on the counter and a handsome Dennis Quaid caught my eye. Inside a dreamy-eyed Hugh Grant smiled for his 50th birthday photo. The over 50 crowd is just as handsome as ever. Though I smiled as I glanced at the two lovelies, the real reason I picked up the magazine was to read an article about, 8 Signs Your Marriage is Healthy (or not).

Another particularly handsome over 50 male is my own, Kim Martin. We've been together for 38 years as a couple, 35 of those years in marriage. Our marriage is very seasoned and comfortable but not without room for improvement. So, naturally, the article piqued my interest. What I learned is that our marriage is healthy and normal for as long as we have been together. Those long periods of silence between us as we type on our computers (or in Kim's case, his iPhone) are not to be taken as a sign of marriage deterioration. Though I've wondered in the past if those periods of quiet during meals or riding in a car were not a sign of complacency, the article offered credible advice (the author is a 38 year vet of relationships research) to the contrary.

My conclusion after reading the article, Fighting the 40-Year Itch, is that our marriage is stronger than ever. Today we have a deeper relationship supported by knowing glances and looks of understanding. We have a knowledge of how the other will react to certain life situations one only learns after years of attention to the details of a relationship. Names of affection naturally punctuate our spoken words to each other. We take care of each other, discuss budgets, love our precious grandchildren and still enjoy activities together.

We don't have to say, "I love you", but we do. When we hug in the kitchen or simply pat the other in bed after an exhausting day, those three words can still be as comforting as they were 35 years ago. As Tevya says to Golda, "it doesn't change a thing, but after 25 years (35 years), it's nice to know".

Thank you Kim for growing old with me. I love you!

From 50 to 60 in just 10 Years

Since early June, Kim and I have been involved in another BLT (Baytown Little Theater) summer musical, My Fair Lady. Against my better judgment I went to the auditions and since Kim was bound to work on the show, I joined him on the play. Now I say "against my better judgment" because I know my body and that it has been feeling not only my age, but my weight. "Yikes!" my feet and knees scream.

Kim was cast in the role of Henry Higgins which is the male lead. My part is "chorus". Eh, its not much, but in some shows a bigger part than in other shows. For me, My Fair Lady has been that "other" show. As enjoyable as singing and acting is for me, the dancing part, not so much. Just the other side of 50 years old...okay, several miles passed the tracks...I can't dance without hearing those cries from my feet and legs. Having just completed the opening weekend of the play, my feet and legs are yelling in pain at me.

Learning all of those Henry Higgins' lines was a challenge for Kim. The character not only speaks with an English accent, the wordy phrases are said in such a way that only the English would say. He, and I, have labored over his lines as he worked to memorize songs and words. Once an easier task, now "just the other side of 50 years old", he has found this activity not as pleasurable as it was before.

Simply aging is not difficult. Keeping our aging bodies in good condition is very difficult for some of us. Activities we do after we turn 50 has become more of a chore than they were before. Even though most of us have learned that exercise and healthy diets are beneficial to our aging bodies, I find that many of us don't get serious about our exercise and diet until we hurt.

After opening weekend of the play where really did enjoy dancing in shoes my feet were not accustomed to wearing, and on floors with no cushion whatsoever, my legs really hurt. It is not going to be as much fun the second weekend of the play if my legs do not recover from that workout. Exercise? Now too late, I wish I'd kept up with exercise.

Whereas my leg muscles have rebelled against my dancing, Kim's brain has benefited from the mental workout he gave it. All of his hard work memorizing lines of Professor Higgins probably built his brain power. Makes one wonder if in our high technological age of short Twitter and Facebook posts, email and abbreviated phone texting, are not doing our brains more harm than good. Kim's memorization was a real brain workout for sure.

Have I learned anything from this experience? Sure, of course I did! Follow my first instinct and don't do this again!!! Ha! not really. What I've learned is that I need to be more diligent to eat healthier, lose weight and exercise so my legs won't freak out with physical activity. Will I be in another summer musical? Probably. Will Kim be in another play? It is highly likely he will, though I would doubt it will be as a lead character. Although, I have to tell you readers, he was a fantastic Professor Higgins!

My high school class just celebrated our 40th Reunion. In two years we will be part of the 60 group. Where has the time gone? My time on this earth is narrowing down and if I want these years to be more pleasure and less misery, I need to listen to my body and help it out. My feet and legs have got to be shut up, they are screaming way too much these days.

Since 2007

It has been 3 years since I retired from full-time teaching. When it was brought to my attention by TRS (Texas Retirement System) four years ago that I qualified for retirement with full benefits, I leaped at the chance to get out of the classroom. Working since graduation in 1974, I had grown weary of the progressive demands being put upon classroom instructors. After retiring, I realizing our household budget could not support a drastic cut in income. Therefore, I vowed to find a job, even full-time, to supplement my TRS paycheck. Also, substitute teaching would not be an option. I was finished with that line of work or so I thought at the time. Here it is 2010 and though I have worked various jobs, over the course of these three years, none of the positions have been long-term. Most were related to teaching with some even as a substitute teacher. None, however, has paid what as needed to supplement our budget over the course of a year. Thus, our monthly budget has taken a hard hit since 2007. In particular, the summer months have proven difficult since most positions I worked were in the familiar background of education.

In as much as I had promised to find work after retirement, that first year I could do nothing more than simply drink in the fresh air outside of the school building. It filled my lungs with a liberated air like none I’d ever breathed before! There was a whole world of activity outside of a school building where teachers rarely have opportunity to venture. One such activity was to assist my theater active husband. It bought joy into my life to be able to search and fetch play props, or gather costumes for his students. During days when the teaching world was cooped up in a building, I could drive to various stores or stay home and create. This satisfied the art side of my brain and filled an inner creative passion within my soul. Unfortunately, none of those activities provided a salary. My happiness overshadowed the growing need to supplement my monthly TRS check being deposited in our account. After that first year it became my duty to seek ways to make good on my promises. Finding a paying job was to become my full-time task.

Marketing of my talents is something I have not learned well. After working in the schools from tutor to tester and teaching at times in-between, I find it difficult to focus on my skills and talents outside the realm of education. Swallowing one’s pride and marketing one’s self as a viable commodity is not my forte. Therefore, since the field of education is where I have most experience, those are the types of jobs I have had over these past 3 years. An additional problem, as I have already pointed out, is education jobs do not pay during the summer months.

Last tax season I thought my luck had taken a turn when the perfect job opened. A good friend and fellow educator put me on to a position in a tax office as an assistant. The tax season came and went with only the slightest challenge to my intellect and skills. It was a most enjoyable climate and workplace, but it was to play out as the tax season came to an end. Once again the summer months have come with no paychecks to deposit.

As much as I wish I didn’t have to, I find myself searching the classifieds again, hoping for the perfect position. An occasional lead on a job piques my interest only to find out Spanish is preferred or the pay is too little. Just yesterday though I read an ad for a Parent – Teacher Involvement specialist. Identified families with babies under school age are the target subjects. Salaries not from an institute paying into TRS, would help me maintain my retirement status, possibly making this just the job for me. Although somewhat in the field of education, the position also markets as a service to families in need. I like the idea of helping others as my Christian duty. It also has the potential to be a full-time permanent position. So, this morning I brushed up my resume, wrote a cover letter and sent it in an email to the hiring committee for their consideration. Perhaps they will grant an interview to me.

For some retirees, such as myself, work after retirement is not simply a means to pass the time of the long days. Rather it is of necessity that I be gainfully employed. After all, I was not actually of retirement age in 2007. Not only should I still be part of the workforce, there has surfaced another personal need. From time to time, a need to serve some greater purpose in this world oozes forth; I feel as lazy as a lizard when all around me people are making contributions to society. An inner need to make a difference wells up within me and I wonder what God’s plan is for me now. Am I missing something that will not simply benefit our budget, but more importantly, benefit another human being? God will reveal his plan for me, of that I am certain. My prayer is that when He does, any lack of confidence in my abilities won’t blind me to His will.

Blog: Phase Two

New blog: new look, new name, new mindset.

Instead of completely shutting down the blog, I decided to simply revamp. The new design is quite calming, in my opinion. New templates made that possible. Thank you, Blogspot.

Just what will be the theme of my writings? I thought about how my sons are grown up and really don't need me...much...hardly ever. Retiring in 2007 from teaching school left me without a full time job, but still searching for the perfect post career position. Once again on the job search is to say the least, humbling. Thirty-six years of adult life experiences should account for something. Right? Therefore, if there is a theme for this new blog, it might be "My view of the present while looking ahead".

Although my posts may be few and far between, this blog has officially reopened for readers. Your viewing is appreciated and your comments encouraged. Consider this your invitation to visit my blog often and don't get your feelings hurt by what you read or take my opinions too seriously. I'm just saying!

All Things Come to an End

This is the 250th entry to ML's Musings. It will also be my last. The oldest entry to this blog is in March, 2005. At that time in my life, I was completing the second year teaching 3rd grade, our youngest son was getting married and our oldest son and wife were giving birth to a baby girl. The writing served to give me an outlet to have my time. My time to write my thoughts about whatever was on my mind. My posts have ranged from poems to song lyrics, my family to my cats, thoughts on marriages, births and retirement.

Why am I closing the blog? It could be said that my drive to write has diminished. Facebook, email, and Twitter have taken over my writing time. Yes, I know its a social network and not composition. True, but I enjoy the Facebook, and email so much because it keeps my friendships active.

ML's Musings had its place and I'm so glad I was able to write. Sometimes I got myself in trouble by writing things some folks at church did not approve of, but other times I was able to put into words some memories of loved ones who are gone or write about my family.

One of these days, I may start a new blog. There are no plans at the time, but keep your eyes on my Facebook in case I do start a new blog. ML's Musings will be officially taken down at the end of May.

Thank you to my friends who read my blog. Good-bye!

Out of Sync Part Two

Recently, my job with a local tax office finished as April 15 came to a close. Those seasonal jobs while good for the pay are not meant to last. So,for these post-tax season days, I have been around the house, trying to find something to do with myself. Although,there is more than enough work around my house and yard to keep me busy 12 hours a day for months, its not what I want to do. My heart just isn’t in it, but it will be eventually.I just have to find my rhythm. The thought of rearranging garage sale items in my garage doesn’t excite me right now.Nor does the task of cleaning out our files, the closets and deciding what to keep or trash attractive to me. I have however, had a desire to work out in my yard to cut back the winter weeds and clear off the patio. That would make me very happy, very sore, but happy.

Next week I have an interview with an office temp agency. Professional apparel is required piling an added pressure on to the whole job equation. Shopping for clothes is not fun for me. I can’t just look for the cute clothes,but I have to really watch the price tag. I fret over the one perfect outfit out of a large number of outfits. Generally speaking, people do not enjoy shopping with me therefore I normally shop alone.

Money issues just frustrate me so much! We have had bills forever like all families do, but I would love to see black $0.00 at the end of the month in the "balance box" on statements. Knowing the bills are more than what we bring home, just makes me sick. There is a guilty feeling on my part because I retired from a well paying teaching job too early. Hindsight really is 20/20 and I see clearly now that I should not have ever retired. Although, I try to tell myself it was best for me at the time and I have to accept it. I realize that I tend to stress too much. My small world is out of sync and in need of balance. It’ll come because I am praying to God that it will. He will care for me as he always has and I just have to let go and let God.

Out of Sync Part One

This morning I exchanged colored napkins for a wedding shower that didn’t match the “watermelon” theme. To be honest, even I could see that the hot pink napkins I chose was not working with the pretty shades of red print chosen to use on the tables. Yesterday I had to exchange the cups bought for the same occasion. I particularly wanted the clear glass-like plastic cups for the shower and not the opaque ones used for picnics. Not the ones bought for the shower. So, I thanked the person who had bought them and as I received the opaque cups, told myself it didn’t matter. Nonetheless, after spending too much time in the customer service line at Wal-Mart, to traipse back through the aisles of the large department store only to find out they in fact didn’t carry a clear plastic cup, was more than I could stand at that time. Therefore, I left with the refund cash in hand and the smug confidence that I would locate the perfect clear cup.

Making subsequent stops at Target, Hobby Lobby and the party store at the mall, I thought I was going to have to repurchase the original opaque cups I had returned. Why was I so obsessed? Problem is when you know that the less desired cups cost was only $5.00 for 100 cups; it makes spending $15.00 for 100 a strain.

Tired from all the walking in and out of stores, my next stop was Kroger’s to do grocery shopping. Much to my surprise and pleasure, there on the shelf of Kroger’s were clear plastic cups, in 50 count packages for only $1.00 more than the opaque cups. Joy! Also, to add icing to the cake, the cups were the perfect 16-ounce size.

Why do we let insignificant things like napkin colors and clear or opaque cups bother us? Things that are not in sync really bother me and they shouldn’t.

Life is Never Simple

Life is never simple. As much as we'd like for it to be with all the technology available to help, it still isn't easy. In fact, the more we invest in technology, the less use interact with humans face to face. You read the right, but before you get upset, let me explain. It is not that I think the hi-speed Internet or fast texting will replace humans, but it doesn't allow us to linger.

This morning I listened to a sermon/talk by a preacher in San Antonio, speaking on our fast paced lives. His speech was connected to a real-life addiction of this preacher. He was addicted to adrenaline. The chemical produced by the adrenal gland that causes heart rate to speed up and energies to heighten. We often experience a sudden adrenaline rush when we encounter high emotional moments of life. This preacher confessed his first burst of true adrenaline rush was in college when he made a 4.0 on his grade report for the semester. It felt good and the remaining semesters he worked as hard as possible to attain the same 4.0. He was a driven man to keep doing better and better. As he married, became a minister for one of the largest churches in the Arlington area and started a family, his work drive did not let up.

After a long time of keeping up an inhuman pace, keep late hours at night working and early morning breakfast dates, his drive hit a wall. He began to stress, he didn't sleep for a month before visiting a doctor and he was in deep depression and trouble. His visit to a doctor taught him that he was a workaholic, a person driven by the adrenaline rush he got from successful work. He was tired though and in dire need of sleep. He was ready to do what he had to in order to get some sleep. The doctor prescribed a sleep mediation and advice to set limits. He needed to go home after work and rest, relate and sleep. Not work. After finding his rhythm in the evenings, he found that he enjoyed is neighbors, his family and was much more relaxed. The preacher reported that it took around 2 years for him to be able to relax, but now he is a much happier person.

When we hear that someone has an addiction, we don't normally think about additions like preacher's. We then to think more about addictions to smoking, alcohol, drugs and gambling. Those are addictions that are more in view of others. This addiction to work too much, push our bodies past it's warnings to slow down, and ignore our spouse's pleas to just be with the family is a real addiction. The younger a person is, the less he or she thinks about their addiction to work, but as we age, the warnings come out in how our body reacts to the fast paced schedules we force on ourselves.

Fortunately, that is not my addiction. Of course, a bit more drive in my life would help me get some work done around here. Instead I'm addicted to other stimulus. There are drinks, foods, and times of sheer laziness that affect my life when I am stressed or blue. Overcoming an addiction takes dedication. Action, perseverance, and prayer is what it takes. Lots of prayer!

Growing older and diet

The thing about aging is that the body and mind goes through changes. I no longer get to eat like I used to. My stomach reacts violently to spicy foods. There goes pizza, spaghetti sauce, fried shrimp, cake frosting (yes I know pure sugar, but yummy!), bananas, and other beverages and foods I used to enjoy. Notice all the commercials for stomach antacids, sleep aides, and antidepressants? That's because the baby boomer aged people who are now needing all the help they can get. And I have to admit, I've taken all those meds since turning 50. Now that I'm closer to 60 than I am to 50, I don't take them as much anymore. I am learning to eat healthier and live with less stress. Getting out of my career in education of 30 years helped, but also self educating myself did to healthier ways of eating has helped too.

Pure Joy

Sounds of laughing children, Saturday morning cartoons and Capri Sun juice pouches were once again in our house this weekend. My grandchildren are at a really fun age. At 7 and 5 years old, they are old enough to understand jokes, play a game of Uno (and win!) watch a movie all the way through and enjoy a good storybook at the end of the day.

Jason brought Aidan and Regan over to spend the night with us so he and Kari could work on Saturday. They've had a very busy work and school schedule lately. Like so many young families, they are trying to juggle their kid's activities with their own.

We've been there done that, only not with as much energy. I worked on my master's degree after I'd taught school for 13 years and my boys were old enough to care for themselves after school. I think this generation works very hard to keep up with their lifestyle. Fortunately, the dads are helping and the moms are not left to work all day just like their husbands and come home to do the regular evening routine alone. The dads and moms are taking mutual responsibility for family routines.

My grandchildren are so much fun and they play and laugh with the happiness all children should have. What a beautiful blessing God has given to us!

Spring Has Sprung

There was a time when Easter meant new Sunday outfits, Easter baskets laden with goodies, dying hard-boiled eggs and grooming the backyard for egg- hunts. Lately, however, it seems those days are gone as my family goes their own way for the holidays. One of these Easters I want to have them all here for church and Sunday lunch. Maybe next year will be a good time.

Fortunately for us, we get to be with our oldest son and his family for Easter lunch. The kids will be excited about their Easter goodies and treats. It'll be fun to be with them for a while. I can't believe how big Jason's two children are getting. I turn around and Regan has grown inches since the last time I saw her and Aidan has lost several teeth as most 7 year olds tend to do. Today we get to attend Regan's 5th birthday party. She is so ready for kindergarten and has been for at least a year now. Ha, what a smart little cookie she is! Five years ago, Kim and I went to an Astro's baseball game and had a picture of our baby Regan taken just minutes after her birth. She was born in Michigan, too far away to be on hand at the hospital for the delivery. We are very blessed that they now live close enough that we can participate in their life events like birthday parties.

Spring is here in full bloom and my yard is living proof. Not that it is blooming with beautiful flowers like several of my neighbor's yards. On the contrary, its bursting with foliage of every type, grass in the plant beds, overgrown bushes, weeds, dandelions...etc. You get the picture. It's overgrown to the max. Kim finally was able to be home long enough to mow the yard and luckily, we didn't find any lost children or puppies in that high grass. Good thing!

Just this morning we observed a huge black woodpecker with a beautiful red plume on his head, pecking at bugs on one of our trees. He was down low and working all around the trunk of the tree. Kim managed to get a few good pictures of him before he flew off for bugs in other trees.

Indeed, its Springtime. There is a lot of yard work to do and if I'm to help my neighbors in what appears to be a beautification project of yards on our street, we need to find time to at least clean out the plant beds. But not today, we have a birthday party to attend for one of our all-time favorite little 5 year old girls. Happy Birthday, Regan!

Spring Fever and Sick Yard Woes

It's March and time for Spring. So where is it? This past weekend has been cold, windy with enough rain that made Saturday just flat unpleasant to be outdoors.

My backyard is in desperate need of a total make over. I talking the need for heavy machinery and muscle. Both of which I am unfortunately lacking. Browsing through old photos from 2006, I came across a lovely pre-hurricane photo of my backyard. It's so sad that we lost such wonderful large trees and plants that made this a green pretty yard at one time.

Today the two trees in the picture are gone. In fact the one behind the birdbath was dead and I hired a couple of guys last fall to take it down. They didn't have the proper tools (or the know-how) for the huge job. Even though the tree is down, the ugly stump is left and some of plants at its base were smashed. The so-called "tree-men" also didn't have a tool to cut a level slice off the top of the stump and left it a jagged eyesore. In the background, the other tree also had those tuffs of pale green tall "monkey grass" plants. They came up and out with the tree. In its place was a huge hole which we filled in with some sand and topsoil. Weeds have grown over it, the circular area is still slightly sunken in from the hole.

Even though the hurricane messed up the yard by taking out my beautiful trees, our other problems are because we're just not good yard people. The plants along the back fence are overgrown and surrounded with weeds making it overwhelming to even begin the clean up. I need a work crew to come in and clean it out, but it would cost a fortune to have that done. So, its me and my little tools on the job.

When winter finally ends and the sun comes out again, I'll hit the backyard and try to clean it up. It takes me twice as long to work in the yard as most any man or yard crew because I'm short, out of shape and have problems with arthritis. It's just plain hard work that I have a very difficult time doing. What I picture in my mind and what I can actually accomplish are two totally different things.

Maybe before too long, I can get out there and at least get started. I think I'm going to have to buy some new plants. The freeze we had this winter also killed a lot of the vegetation in the back yard. So I'm prepared to just weed, clean out and throw a lot of brown, dead stuff away.
Flowers would be nice too.

Come on Spring! Bring it on, I'm ready!

Journey interrupted

After 57 years, there have been a lot changes along life's journey. That is an understatement, but true, nonetheless. Change is happening every second of every day and there is nothing we can do to alter that fact. Some days or weeks may seem to go by without a lot of alternate planning. However, just when we get comfortable, settled in our little habitat, feeling good about where we are, content with where the road is leading; it happens. We hit a bump. Right there in the middle of the road, positioned smack dab in the way, a bump jolts us off track. The change of plans must be dealt with in order to get back to our journey.

This time our change happened when Kim had some medical exams. He had a routine check-up a couple of weeks back. The kind that's a hassle to schedule, but you do and hope that it doesn't take long because you have play rehearsal and a symphony board meeting and really don't have the time, but you need to do it. That kind. Initial doctor's report as Kim came out of anesthesia were good. Doctor saw a little something in the EGD. She sent a sample to pathology, but otherwise all appeared good. Back on the path and Kim would go to see the doctor again in a week for the other tests report. A week passes by and Kim returns to his doctor.

The doctor said the pathologist reported lymphoma in part of his stomach. What? Lymphoma? Cancer. I read the report for myself as Kim proceeded to tell me that his doctor had already called MD Anderson Cancer Center in Houston for him to go in and talk to their doctors. MD Anderson? That's sort of big isn't it? Change was insisting that we yield. We both took off work to go to MDA in two days.

We drove into Houston expecting to talk to doctors and see what they thought Kim should do next. Kim registered, had rights read to him, signed permissions for treatment, studies and his next of kin. A nurse assigned just to Kim explained that a team of personnel, especially assigned to him, would be talking to us. A social worker/counselor gave her card to Kim and explained that she could help with questions the doctors may not know. A cancer studies person came in and asked Kim if he would give permission to be included in studies since MD Anderson is a research hospital. Then, the doctor's assistant, a very capable Asian man not much older than our oldest son, came in to explain what had been reported to them about Kim. Finally, Kim's doctor, who looked all of 25 years old, came in and talked in a most professional, knowledgeable manner. She explained that there were 45 different types of lymphoma and that a very large amount of Americans were living with it now. It has a high success rate of cure.

The doctor also explained that further tests would help them see if they agreed with the initial tests prognosis. We would speak to a scheduler who would go over the times and dates for the tests. Then, the doctor told us to take a break, have lunch and then come back. Come back? We thought we were just talking today. Come back? Oh, did I mention that Kim had only planned on a half day substitute for his class? Now it was apparent that he would have to call his school and tell them to keep the sub all day. We were told not to plan on half days. Change was standing its ground and not budging a bit.

So, we had lunch and came back. Then, we met with the scheduler who already had Kim's itinerary of tests printed out for him with special instructions for some of them. Kim's nurse told him to wait to be called back for his blood test. Tests already? After that, he was given another place to go for a chest x-ray. Really? Another test? That was the first day. A day full of change and surprise, but one that was very informational. We felt that our veer off what we thought was the route for the day, was worth the detour to learn that Kim was in good hands at MDA.

Over the next two days Kim had 3 more tests run. He has 3 tests this week also. Everything has really moved fast. This Thursday, a week from the day we learned about lymphoma, we will hear the test results from Kim's doctor. I am fervently praying the change won't be too drastic. That we will be able to navigate whatever detour comes along with minimal inconvenience.

Life is like that isn't it? Detours, bumps in the road, changes like roadblocks, can not be avoided. We learn to adjust, take alternative paths and pray the new route will soon have us back on our journey.

Please keep Kim in your prayers this week as he continues tests and awaits the results. Pray that the changes for Kim and me will be easy to navigate with God as our protector.