Happy New Year, 2007!

This has been a different New Year's Eve for us. We stayed home while our grown children and their wives went to a party. Now the grandparents, we stayed with the grandkids. After all, we had parents to do that for us on many NYE and now its our turn. We played with playdough, arranged a big wooden puzzle of the United States, watched "Shrek", read the Mother Goose Nursery Rhyme boardbook for the umpteenth time, bathed little bodies, served up milk and then put them to bed. Ahh! What a nice feeling of accomplishment.

After the children were alseep all snug in their beds, I thought that Kim and I would at least stay up to watch "the ball" drop on TV and sip a little champagne at the stroke of midnight. I thought we'd give each other a big kiss, toast in the New Year and wish each other health, happiness and prosperity. Well, what actually happened was Kim gave it up at 11:20. I watched Garrison Keillor with the Prairie Home Companion show on channel 8 while the chilled champagne remained corked in the refridgerator. When Garrison began to sing "Auld Lang Syne" at the stroke of midnight, I sipped a room temperature Merlot alone. I decided that I'd at least get my kiss and slipped into the bedroom to find Kim asleep, plugged into his iPod. So, I tiptoed to his side, leaned down, and gave him a little peck on his check. He wriggled his nose and turned over. "Happy New Year!" I whispered.

I'm not complaining because I got to babysit with my two precious grandchildren on NYE, 2007.

2006 Blog Overview

My friend posted on her blog, a neat little way to recap her year of blogs. So I gave it a try. What I've done is to take the first post of each month in 2006 and copy the last sentence of the entry. I cheated a little bit though because I decided that the last sentence didn't tell enough. Here's how mine came out:
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One of the characters in the "Traveling Pants" story put it something like this, "...isn't trying not to be sad (about your mother’s death) harder than just letting yourself be sad?" I would have to agree.

What better way to learn about growing relationships with our students than to first grow them in each other?

Spring is here and it is just the right time to rejuvenate myself.
Next weekend maybe I'll get a pedicure and a manicure...oh heck, maybe even a massage. :-)

My days of teaching are numbered and I won't be sad to see this year end. So turn up the CD player so I can listen to the music of lazy days. I'm ready.

Please pray for this awful disease to be conquered. It truly is a matter of Life or Death.

Oh, what do you know? Then it WOULD be breakfast. Or as my movie chef said, "a late night sandwich." yum!__"...here is my handle, here is my spout."

They then sent my password to my email and I was able to retrieve my blog and posts. __Happy blogging. :-)

I am grateful to everyone that made this 54 year old feel loved.

In the meantime, I have to clean house, wash clothes, plan lessons and grade papers. Labor Day, 2006...a sunny Saturday for my sanity.

My mom's little black dress is a precious treasure I hope to keep until it can be passed on to the next generation.

However, in the end, I am always glad I can say those two kinder words, “I’m sorry.”

With God’s blessing, my sons’ families will bring a warmth and happiness to Christmas that will satisfy my longing for the season. __Happy Holidays to all of my readers…whoever you are.

Joy and Peace in 2007

Merry Christmas Day

Here it is. It finally got here. Christmas Day! uhmm, :-| not the excitement it used to be. That little tree behaves the way I'm sure thousands of kids are feeling this morning...a tad hyper! However, for me, I'm sitting here with my black cat, Baby, at my side, husband still in bed (well, some things never change!) and coffee waiting for me to pour a cup.

It was last night, Christmas Eve as a matter of fact, before I put any decorations up around my house. That elfin Christmas tree my son left in our garage worked out nicely. As I pulled it out of the box, assembled the top and bottom together and placed it atop the coffee table, it reminded me of "A Charlie Brown Christmas". But with a string of lights and some ornaments, it didn't look half bad. I think it might even be singing a carol like the funny tree on this post. "Oh, Christmas Tree, oh, Christmas Tree"...

After I decorated the tree, I hung the family stockings, with care of course, over the fireplace. The red stockings I've decorated and made additions to with each new family member over the years, has already been filled with an assortment of trinkets and treats, waiting to be revealed. I have to admit, Christmas stockings hanging over my three snowmen on the hearth, makes a cozy sight.

Today, Kim and I will load up our meager offerings and join his family at his brother's house. It'll be nice to visit, share a meal, and exchange a gift. This year we decided not to draw names, but have gifts unlike last year with no gifts at all. So, it was my idea that we each bring one gift that centered around a theme of some sort. You know, what kind of Christmas is it without presents? Well, the theme that was decided by the siblings was "books". Books. uhm. :-| Not what I had in mind, but its something. Let's just say that I've warmed to the idea. When it comes to a reading family, the one I married into are junkies of the printed word. They consume books like a vacuum. On the other hand, I read for information, not pleasure. Okay, that isn't entirely true. Sometimes I read for pleasure, but not as a natural exercise. I have to preplan and preview many offerings before I will settle on just the right context to devour hours of my time. No, I don't take reading a book for pleasure lightly. In fact, I would say that one of the big accomplishments of my adulthood has been actually finishing more than one novel cover to cover.

Tomorrow our three sons and their wives and our two grandkids will be here for our "Day After Christmas Day" celebration with our own family. It will be so much fun to listen to my boys "cut-up" and exchange witty, often intelligent, banter between each other. It fills my heart with love and joy to see those three men together, happily talking and being brothers. That will make this Christmas delay worth the wait. In addition to that, my grandchildren will be playing, running, laughing and opening another round of presents. It is going to be so much fun that my mouth is upturned just thinking about it!

Wherever you are, whenever you celebrate, I pray that you are with someone you love.
Happy Holidays!

If I Could Not Fail

Last night a good friend of mine handed me a Christmas present. It was an adorable wall ornament which pictured a beautiful fairy sitting on a quarter moon holding a little blue bird. A question was inscribed on the moon that asked, "What would you attempt if you knew you would not fail?"

Quite a thought provoking question ignited my imagination. What would I attempt? At first I invisioned myself sitting at a baby grand piano playing for a concert hall full of admiring people. Then, I heard myself singing a beautiful song and thrilling my audiences. Then, I stopped and broaden my expectations as I remembered that "...I would not fail." If I knew going in that I couldn't fail, then I could do absolutely anything. Anything! The answers to the question were infinite.

Then, the solution came to me in a flash. Cancer. I would find a cure for cancer and wipe out a disease that seems to have plagued our popoulation like a...well, like a cancer. Yes, that would be my task to attempt if I knew I would not fail. Rid our destitute world of cancer.

Although, I've no aptitude for science, I should be more realistic in my answer. So, I should rethink the question. "What would you attempt if you knew you would not fail?" Realistically, I know I can pray and not fail. Just as Jesus prayed, "Holy Father, protect them by the power of your name..." He continued to pray, "My prayer is not that you take them out of the world but that you protect them from the evil one." Jesus' prayer was not for protection from disease, but from "the evil one." But I desperately want a cure be found to rid our undeserving world of cancer, aids, Alzheimer's disease and so many more adnormalities and imperfections here on earth. Ah, there it is. "...on earth."

Jesus prayed not for us to be taken out of the world (with it's disease) but for protection from the evil one. I don't know if I can say that disease is from the evil one, but it is certainly from this world. Therefore, "What would you attempt if you knew you would not fail?" Still a very thought provoking question for us to ponder, my attempts will have to be in the form of prayer.

"Do not be afraid or discouraged, for the LORD God, my God, is with you. He will not fail you or forsake you until all the work for the service of the temple of the LORD is finished." 1Chr. 28:20b

Getting in the Christmas Spirit

Everywhere you look, you see Christmas. The store clerks have been bustling around for months making preparations for this season of gifting. All the holiday decorations and wrappings seem to be strewn everywhere except here at my house. Well, that's not totally true, I do have my wooden snowmen standing guard on the hearth. Odd place for snowmen now that I think about it. I also have some "dancing trees" on my laptop screen and there's the elf on this page. I've listened to some holiday tunes and put up decorations around my classroom at school. However, here at my house, our Christmas tree, the ornaments, lights and lawn reindeer are still in the attic.

I'm fighting the urge to just let Christmas evolve around me without my participation this year. Then, the other day my little grandson told me I needed to go to the tree farm and get a Christmas tree, then put ornaments on it. I took that as a hint that I was behind on my Christmas spirit.

Is it my age or what? I seem to have the Christmas blahs. I'm very content to let the world celebrate the holiday. I will just be happy for them and watch the Hallmark Christmas specials on TV. Christmas used to be a lot of busy-ness and hurrying to buy lots of presents. I really did enjoy wrapping secret treasures for everyone and putting them under my tree. It was like a game to find just the right gifts for everyone. Then, I'd watch while my family routinely inspected new packages to see who it belonged to. However, now my sons, daughters in law, my husband and I just draw names. Not as many gifts to buy, but its something. Of course, we will all shop for my grandchildren. In fact, just the other night, I was in Toys R Us to cruise the aisles for gift ideas. There are so many toys to choose from, but I enjoy the hunt. I know that they'll get a lot of presents from all the family members and it will be fun to see the excitement on their faces as they unwrap their presents. I wish I could see them on Christmas morning when they awaken to the prizes Santa Claus left for them.

Come to think of it, Christmas really is about children. After all, wasn't it because of a Child that Christmas began those thousands of years ago? Perhaps it is with the spirit of that first Christmas that I should approach this season. My whole attitude could change, if I keep an image of the Christ child lying in a manger in my mind. I'm going to give that a try.

My Plate is Full

“You’ve Got Mail” has been my favorite movie since its release in 1998. I watched it for about the hundredth time this morning instead of going to church. It’s cold and gray outside today and the leaves have blanketed my backyard where my black cat is joyfully watching them fall while sitting on the cold grass. Getting into a cold shower, putting on Sunday clothes, and getting out in the chilly air just didn’t appeal to me this morning.

My plate is full, I’m tired, and feeling overwhelmed with “stuff”. I’d like nothing better than to stay home, forget I have a job and get on with my life. Forget about the holiday season, that hasn’t become my problem yet. Decorating a tree, shopping for gifts and the usual Christmas preparations are, for now, on a back burner. I have paperwork to complete for my job that has piled up higher than the leaves on my patio.

The semester will end December 19, one week short of our usual six week grading period. So everything has to be finished sooner and it seems there is more to it this time. Not only are there the usual grades to complete, there are major semester tests competing with the Christmas rehearsals my third graders are going to. We go on a field trip around town this Monday to perform their play to a rest home and businesses. A lot of fun for the kids and I wish a carefree day for me. I am sure that I'll be worrying over the review time for a major science test being lost to this day. Sixty-six portfolios are still in need of graded rubrics to stories I have yet to read, which will be reviewed by a supervisor on Wednesday. My "don't worry" mantra has lost its meaning.

The community chorus I sing with has rehearsed weekly all semester for the concert to be presented this evening. It will leave me no choice but to clean up, dress up in the much too expensive sparkly top I was made to buy, and join my fellow chorus members to sing a requiem in Latin. A tedious bit of culture that is not really my forte’, but a worthy challenge just the same. An interruption in my working day, but a necessary respite to release me from this tomb.

As I sit here with papers strewed across my lap, spilling onto the couch seat next to me, the soft, calming music of the movie soundtrack plays from the television. I’ve seen this film so many times that I don’t even have to look up from my work to view my favorite scene, but I do. The Meg Ryan character, Kathleen Kelly, is reminiscing of a simpler time when her mother was still living and her worries were few. The music swells and she is dancing with her mother as a little girl. I find myself relating to this character so much as she faces another major life change. Kathleen narrates, “People are always saying that change is a good thing. But all they are really saying is that something you didn’t want to happen has happened.” She adds to this “…it was like my mother had died all over again and there was nothing that anyone could do to change it.”

It may sound like I’m missing my mother. It has been thirteen years since she left us and I am missing the family that would gather each year at my parent’s home for Christmas presents, laughing and good eating. As with each holiday season, I remember the heartfelt love my mother put into every Christmas. I can’t look at poinsettias without thinking about that little house on Holland Avenue and the pots of red flowers that my daddy would buy for Mother each year for their Christmas Eve wedding anniversary. Even a single piece of sweet, white divinity candy conjures up pictures of Mother and her sister baking in the warm kitchen layering the confection drops on sheets of wax paper while my cousins played Monopoly with my brother and me. I wish, like Scrooge, that I could be transported back in time just to view one of those Christmas Eves again.

But for now, I have to think about the next week and a half on my job. My partner is leaving after this semester. A lot will change with the beginning of the year and I’m concerned that I will have more responsibilities to make up for the void she will leave on my team. So I can’t think about the season at hand right now. I have work to complete and new plans to write. By December 19, much of the work that confronts me today will be completed. Then, I will have two weeks to relax. With God’s blessing, my sons’ families will bring a warmth and happiness to Christmas that will satisfy my longing for the season.

Happy Holidays to all of my readers…whoever you are.