A Matter of Life or Death

Life has become extremely intense for me over the past 13 years. Every day I run into something that is so serious, I find it hard to understand. People get angry, hurt feelings. I get scared.

Lately it seems there are more and more people/women that have cancer. The number of those people that are my age is steadily increasing. The generation of people in now their sixty's, seventy's, and eighty’s are beginning to pass away and many of them are dying of cancer. Now I find several of my friends, women I've worked beside, shared dormitory life with, worshiped with and even grew up with are getting cancer. That is scary to think I am close to a deadly disease that the only good thing anyone can say about it is, "the cancer researchers are learning more about it every day." It sure is taking a long time and so many more people are finding out they have this disease in the meantime.

I have thought at one time that it just could be God's way of weeding the population. However, I don't believe that anymore and now think that we as a race of selfish people, are just doing this to ourselves. With all of the air pollutants that are emitted through refineries, it is no wonder that many of my elementary school girlfriend's mothers have died of cancer. Mine did as well as my four other best friends' mothers...all five moms died of cancer. We grew up around refineries where several of our fathers worked. It could make us anxious about breathing the air.

The foods we eat must have a lot to do with getting cancer too. Those fried foods we grew up eating was so bad for us. Findings are now that the fats in butter are bad for you and can clog arteries and too much could be a cause of some cancers. More and more "experts" on foods are telling us to read labels for nutritional content. Grocery shopping now becomes as much a reading experience as going to Barnes and Nobel. I wish the grocers would simply put big red arrows on the shelves pointing to the foods we can have and not get sick.

I can't help but wonder what foods God intended for us to eat when we were created. Of course, there was our mother's milk. My mom did a good job of nursing her 3 babies. Well, from the start I couldn't do that with my babies so they got formula. What was in formula? I didn't check to see that it was nutritionally sound. I trusted that the manufacturer of that product had done the research and packaged a safe product for my baby. They have grown into healthy men, so I guess it didn't hurt them.

But what about all the food products packaged in our stores today? I'm reading from the South Beach Diet Dr. that the less processed our foods, the better they are for us. So we should try to eat fresh foods. Another book I have read said that fresh vegetables and fruits are much better for us but we should buy from open markets near to where we live. Open markets usually have foods that are home grown and therefore have only been out of the ground or off of the tree for a short period of time. But then I wonder about the pesticides or preservatives used on all of those fresh foods. Aren't they harmful? I guess I should just take up fishing and gardening.

I have got lazy and put on a lot of weight lately. I'm aware that the more fat a person gains, the chances of getting cancer increase. I have also put off my annual mammogram for a little over a year now, making me anxious because I could have a mass right now and not know it. But if you've listened to TV commercials lately, you know that research is trying to scare us further by telling women that mammograms are not enough. We can also get cancer from our alcohol consumption, a thing I'm trying to modify in my life right now.

The "C" word scares me. I don't want cancer so badly that it is part of my nightly prayers to God. "God, please don't let me get cancer." My mother didn't get to enjoy much about my boys' lives except for when they were little. She missed all three boys' high school graduations and weddings. The boys performed in plays at our community theater from the time they were in elementary school. Unfortunately, she was only able to see one of those plays. I don't believe she ever saw a football game where each one of my sons performed with the marching band. Her life was cut short and she missed a lot. I missed having her here with me to delight in all that was happening with my family. I want to be around to enjoy my grandchildren. Not only while they are little, but as they grow up, graduate, get married and start families. I want to be a great-grandmother someday.

Everyday I think about my friends who have cancer, Beth, who thankfully is in remission, Carla, who is going through treatments, Pam just started treatments, Pat who is in treatments now, Steve, going through treatments. I think about these other people, Kelly, who has had surgery and now receiving treatments, Ruth, a brave Christian woman trying different methods to her alive, and another Ruth from my church who is battling the disease. Carol, my brother's mother in law, is dying with cancer as I type. Passed away are my aunts Ruby Gene and Ruby, my sister in law, Cynthia, who was much too young to die, my mother, who I miss more with each passing day, Kim's grandfather, Pappy, and my friend Patrick, a flawed man who came to know Jesus, died of cancer this past year. Passing away just before Mother's Day was my friend Nancy’s mom. Her mother died about the same time my own mother was taken by cancer 13 years ago. And then a sweet lady from church passed away just this last Mother's Day. I attended her funeral last Thursday. Of course there are countless others whose lives have been altered for the rest of their time on earth because they have cancer or a close loved one did/does.

I am petrified of this dread disease. So much money, time and research is being put into finding a cure to cancer in our nation. I hope and pray that one is found real soon in our lifetime. However, I am fast becoming a skeptic about that whole endeavor. The people I named above and so many others are viewed as amazing individuals because of their "bravery". Brave? I don't know about that, I'm sure if we talked to those people we would know just how scared they really are. I would say they persevere as best they can with something they have no control over. Even if they are going through treatments and following all of the doctor's orders, there is no guarantee they won't lose that battle.

Relay for Life is a national fund raiser for Cancer Research and the relay is an annual event in many American towns and cities. I know the cause is noble and the individuals working on the project in the different places are dedicated people whose lives have been touched by cancer. No discredit to them, but the real cancer research needs more than our money, it needs our prayers. God is the ultimate decision maker in whether or not cancer can be brought under control and virtually wiped out for good. I pray that one day soon, cancer will be like polio, smallpox and TB. I pray there will be a simple preventative serum we can take to keep from getting the disease. I must have hope that our prayers will help those researchers to stumble across that magic medicine. Please, let that be your prayer today. Please pray for this awful disease to be conquered. It truly is a matter of Life or Death.