For the most part, my writings are therapeutic. I am able to unleash feelings and emotions onto the written page, as it were. Although, there are times I find out someone I know has read my blog and reacted to my words in a concerned manner. The reader might leave a comment, send an email or ask to talk to me...in person. Yikes! A personal meeting means a problem of sorts. Those times when well meaning people let you know what you wrote has upset others or lead them to think I had a problem. Back then, I usually caved and took down the piece that brought about the controversy. Looking back, I realize there was no real reason to take down the post. They were my words, my feelings and as the author I had every right to publish to my blog. That being said, or written as it were, I might write a piece you do not agree with or think the worse of me personally. For that I'm sorry, but I can not control how you react to what I write. Although, you will find if you read my blog, that I am a mild-mannered writer for the most part. (Except, don't get me started on Donald Trump!)
Since my retirement back in 2007, I no longer see the same groups of people everyday. As a teacher, I had teaching partners with whom I'd bond. We talked everyday about our lives, our families, our jobs and of course, some complaining was involved. We were going through the same trials and it was a relief to know others could relate to our issues. Also, our conversations cost less than counseling groups or therapy sessions. Even before retirement, when we still had children at home, my family kept me so busy that I didn't need this vehicle to express my thoughts. Now, eight years after retirement several friends I once had intimate conversations with have moved away, some still work and most are "friends" on Facebook. (Not exactly able to give hugs.) Meeting up to talk long hours face-to-face over coffee isn't going to happen too often anymore.
My husband is a theater instructor at a local community college and his evenings are often spent in rehearsals for upcoming productions. Even though I do a small amount of work with the school district, it is sporadic and I'm often home alone with my two adorable cats, the Internet and HGTV. When my husband finally gets home, I attempt conversations with him and he tries to listen. But let's face it, men simply do not listen the same as other women. No offense to my loving, vigilent, intelligent husband, who I love to the moon and back, but talking to my cats is almost the same as talking to a man. They both look, listen and leave with no comment. So, I will continue to write it out. I can revise, edit, get it out of my system, save it and revisit it another day.
I am thankful for the delete key. The Internet is a wonderful tool to get messages out to the masses in a millisecond. Although, once it is out there, you might not be able to reign it back in as is the case with email, text messaging or in-person chats. Words can get us into trouble and I have gotten myself into embarrassing situations because I was too quick to hit "send". Fortunately, for me, I am the author of my words, the user of my blogspot account and therefore, can delete any of the pieces I have written. Sometimes being upset over an issue and venting my emotions to my blog can clear my thoughts, even if I have to hit "delete" by the end of a writing session, saving my readers from whatever current dilemma is on my mind.
Obviously, I did not delete this piece. The purpose of this post was simply to let you know I'm still writing and a small explanation as to why I write in the first place. My writing style resembles chats with friends. If you are in my small world of readers, thank you, but I must confess that my writing is mostly for myself. I am flattered, even shocked with a twinge of worry when someone comments or mentions reading my blog. "Yikes! What did I write?", I think to myself. Then, on the other hand, I love feedback because it shows me there are still people, some I even know, who are interested in what I have to say.
God bless us all in 2016. May we make meaningful connections with real people who will help us carry out the plans of our Maker.