Embracing Today

For all of the years I was at home and even for many years to follow, aunts, uncles, cousins, brothers, and my grandparents, all gathered at my parent’s house for Christmas. My mom’s parents, who lived a short drive away, celebrated with us every year. My dad's parents lived in Oklahoma and I have assumed all of these years it was because they just lived too far away.

(Picture: Some of my family, about 1986 or '87.)

If the Abilene relatives drove down by Christmas Eve, mom and her sister would bake in the kitchen for the next day. While that was going on, we kids would play games, the men watched football on TV, and at some point in the evening a domino game of Forty-Two would start up. What a great memory for me to recall the shouts of victory, explanations of why someone had lost or the laughter as a team caught up to the winners. Those happy sounds were a real comfort to me as a child.

All the beds in the house, plus sofa beds and pallets on the floor, were filled on Christmas Eve with family members. When us kids woke up, we'd head straight for the Santa presents. I had to be careful not to reveal Santa’s true identity to my younger cousins. Mom explained the Santa thing sort of like this: "It’s fun to pretend there is a Santa Claus, but we are the ones that bring your presents." I never "believed" in Santa as a real person, but I sure believed in Christmas. I loved the decorated tree, the presents, the fun I had with my cousins and all the wonderful food my mom, aunts and grandmother would fix. Those are special times locked away forever in my memory.

Just thinking about all the scrumptious foods prepared at Christmas makes my mouth water. My aunt and mom were experts at making fluffy white divinity candy so sweet that one piece was all you could eat. Mother's pecan and coconut cream pies were a standard for the holidays. She baked a ham, yams, potato salad, baked beans, fruit salad, hot soft rolls and often, turkey and dressing, in spite of having just had it on Thanksgiving. There was always enough food to feed "Cox's Army" as my mom would say. It all came so naturally for her to make Christmas a joyous time to be with family.

The last Christmas we celebrated in my childhood home, was in 1992. Mom cooked her usual spread of Christmas food for all of us who gathered. We played games and laughed ourselves silly. However, mom was sick and would not be with us for the next Christmas. She passed away in May 1993 with cancer. That same year, my brothers and I learned that Daddy’s forgetfulness wasn’t just natural aging. He had Alzheimer’s disease. Mom and Dad's passing closed the book on my childhood. Even though I was an adult, as long as my parents were living, I felt that I was still a child.

Though I made attempts to continue my mom’s kind of Christmas with my brothers and sisters in law at our house, it never caught on. We all knew it was time to split up where we spent the holiday. I have spent many happy Christmas holidays since with my husband's family. Their traditions became mine. While there may not be a lively game of Forty-Two, there is sure to be a spirited conversation usually revolving around politics. Although, political talk isn't my idea of fun, singing with the Martins is an experience I've grown fond of.

Christmas 2007 will be at our house and I anticipate a wonderful day with my husband, our three sons, daughters in law, and two grandchildren. With Mom’s recipes, I can prepare some of the tastes from my past and honor her. Traditions are perhaps a past generation’s ideal and I am learning that it’s okay to let them go. Our kids will come with their energy and youthful joy to fill our house with laughter and fun. So, this year I’m dusting off my Christmas Spirit and embracing the present generation through our children while fondly remembering my parents. Hopefully, I’m learning that holidays don’t have to be a memorial for what we had in the past, but can be a celebration of what we have in today.