Last Sunday morning at church our preacher talked about being content. Paul the apostle said, Philippians 4:11
I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances.
Then, the preacher proceeded to ask the question of my title, Are you content? In my mind, I replied, No. No, I am not.
Sometimes things just don't seem to go the way I thought they would. People aren't doing what I wish they would, circumstances are not easy to be content in and I have let down others as well as myself. Of course, there is no reason why I should be discontent, after all I am a Christian. If I have Christ in my life then everything else should be accepted for what it is.
Today, four days later, I continue to write this entry after an evening spent in true worship. Our church congregation is a very typical Church of Christ. It has been part of my discontentment over the past several years. I would term my husband and I as active members at church. My husband more than I because, as a man, he has opportunities offered to him that I, as a woman, do not. He leads the singing, he says prayers in worship, he reads scriptures in worship and teaches adult classes and serves communion. Don't take that statement the wrong way, I'm just explaining why he is able to be more active than I. Of course, I have the opportunity to be active through the Women's Ministry and teaching Sunday School, cooking meals, etc. To teach, it would have to be in children or ladies' class, cooking meals is not my thing and the woman's ministry seems outdated. *sigh*. As I stated in a previous blog, it is what it is.
Our congregation was lead by a former minister, in a Taize style worship service last night. Something our congregation possibly would not have embraced had we been more upfront and explained the worship style was borrowed from the Lutheran brethren. Instead it was billed as a time spent in peaceful worship, Welcome to the Quietness. And that it was. Peaceful and quiet. Worshipful, if you will. My part was with the small band of singers attempting to sing Taize without the aide of instruments. Acapella sounded okay, but would have been grander with a few instruments. Alas! as I think about this big step for many of us, it was a mere baby step for those Christians gathered at that place of worship. Still I'm very thankful that God opened hearts and allowed us the worship we sorely needed to be one with God.
This morning, I must admit, my soul is more at peace and content.
Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled, and do not let them be afraid. John 14.27
August 24, 2009
August 7, 2009
How I Spent My Summer Vacation
As summer approached and my husband was preparing for various theater conference
s, I expected to spend time working around my house all summer long. Ideally, I would have had a small part time job, but after the week of GT testing for the school district, nothing else worked out.
Kim and I had been saying for months that we were not going to be in the upcoming BLT summer musical, Beauty and the Beast. He was the production manager for the show as a member of the board of directors. I was going to do my part to help box office with ticket sales, and preparing the season ticket information for the new season coming up.
On the first day of auditions for Beauty and the Beast, I had just sent my grandchildren back home with their dad and was left to straighten up the house. Kim left to attend the first round of auditions, just to be there to represent the Board and to observe. Later that evening I decided
that I wanted to watch auditions to see who was trying out for the main parts. As I came into the Lee College Performing Arts Center, I was greeted by friends and saw a lot of new faces as well. There had been a large number of people to audition for the show. As I sat down by a friend to watch auditions, I noticed a group of men with name tags stuck to their shirts, and sheet music in their hands, lined up on the stage preparing to sing. That was when I noticed my husband, who had said all year he was not going to do anything more than production manager for the show, standing on stage with the other male auditioners. What is more, when he finished his song, I had to admit that he was good, really good.
So, Kim was cast as Cogsworth, the uptight clock. Before auditions ended, I had tried out just to be part of the chorus and played a villager and a pepper shaker. Our son, Ryan, also auditioned and got the part of the Beast. Then, his
wife, Amy, tried out and was cast as Madame De Le Grand Bouche, the wardrobe. We all got parts in the play and enjoyed performing on stage together. It turned out to be a huge theatrical event for our community and the college where we performed. We played to sell out audiences of around 650 for each of our 6 performances. After it ended, we were all glad we'd been part of such a big production as Beauty and the Beast.
Next summer our theater will produce the musical, My Fair Lady. Kim is already talking about trying out for the play. Don't know if I want to spend another summer at the theater, but even if I don't tryout, I can be certain that I'll get involved somehow in another BLT summer musical.
s, I expected to spend time working around my house all summer long. Ideally, I would have had a small part time job, but after the week of GT testing for the school district, nothing else worked out.Kim and I had been saying for months that we were not going to be in the upcoming BLT summer musical, Beauty and the Beast. He was the production manager for the show as a member of the board of directors. I was going to do my part to help box office with ticket sales, and preparing the season ticket information for the new season coming up.
On the first day of auditions for Beauty and the Beast, I had just sent my grandchildren back home with their dad and was left to straighten up the house. Kim left to attend the first round of auditions, just to be there to represent the Board and to observe. Later that evening I decided
that I wanted to watch auditions to see who was trying out for the main parts. As I came into the Lee College Performing Arts Center, I was greeted by friends and saw a lot of new faces as well. There had been a large number of people to audition for the show. As I sat down by a friend to watch auditions, I noticed a group of men with name tags stuck to their shirts, and sheet music in their hands, lined up on the stage preparing to sing. That was when I noticed my husband, who had said all year he was not going to do anything more than production manager for the show, standing on stage with the other male auditioners. What is more, when he finished his song, I had to admit that he was good, really good.So, Kim was cast as Cogsworth, the uptight clock. Before auditions ended, I had tried out just to be part of the chorus and played a villager and a pepper shaker. Our son, Ryan, also auditioned and got the part of the Beast. Then, his
wife, Amy, tried out and was cast as Madame De Le Grand Bouche, the wardrobe. We all got parts in the play and enjoyed performing on stage together. It turned out to be a huge theatrical event for our community and the college where we performed. We played to sell out audiences of around 650 for each of our 6 performances. After it ended, we were all glad we'd been part of such a big production as Beauty and the Beast. Next summer our theater will produce the musical, My Fair Lady. Kim is already talking about trying out for the play. Don't know if I want to spend another summer at the theater, but even if I don't tryout, I can be certain that I'll get involved somehow in another BLT summer musical.
July 28, 2009
It Is, What It Is
A new catch phrase I've come to embrace: It is, what it is. We can sugar coat bad news or try our best to rationalize a situation we'd rather not be in, but in the end...it is what it is.
Plans change as situations change and sometimes things just don't work out the way we planned. I retired from 30 years of school teaching in 2007. My plans were to find other work, maybe even a new career. We really could not afford for me to retire, but I was not happy and was coming down with major burn out. However, after I retired, I did not work at all until January when I began administering tests for the school district. During the months I did not work, I enjoyed my freedom from lesson planning, grading papers, turning in gradesheets and disciplining children. It felt good. I volunteered more with the community theater, ran errands and did things for my husband I never was able to do before. I had freedom to go grocery store shopping in the middle of the day when the store was not crowded. There's a lot to be said for getting to do what you've always dreamed of doing while everyone else is at work. Yes, it felt good and I liked it.
Then, we began to miss my paycheck and I knew it was time for me to buckle down to finding a part time job. The testing I had done was temporary and even though it paid well, did not last long enough. I was asked to give tests again during the summer, but again, it was temporary. Next, I found out about a university supervisor job and began my inquiry. The job was paying pretty good and with my qualifications, I was hired for the new school year as an adjunct at the university.
The opportunity to work with college students and help them through the process of becoming a teacher is a very fulfilling experience. My field work is only one day a week. I accept the students' assignments online and grade their digital papers on other days from the convenience of my home. Then, at mid term the university made budget cuts and changed the university supervisor's responsibility and pay from two courses, to one course. The pay cut really did not help our situation. So, I signed on to tutor students, and give more tests to supplement my annuity paycheck from the retirement system. Problem now is that I must keep track of all the hours I work for a state education institution or I jeopardize my annuity if I work over 50% of full time employment. Believe me when I say that keeping up with those hours is another job all together.
We have done pretty good up until this month when no extra income coming in for the summer has really taken its toll. Fortunately, the schools are starting back up tomorrow. I've signed on to work with the university again and also applied to substitute teach in the public schools where I retired from 2 years ago. When I announced that I was retiring in 2007, many people asked if I would be substitute teaching to which I hastily replied, No way! Shouldn't have spoken so fast.
It was my wish to retire, so I really shouldn't complain. The daily drudgery of all the paperwork every single night of the week just got to me. Retirement had to happen and my husband supported me. Every now and then, I get anxious about the loss of income. I can't help it. When the money isn't there for me to something for new the house or bills aren't paid on time, the blues kick in. A little of the old depression covers me like water from a shower washing over my nervous system. I can't stop the feeling and begin to feel sorry for myself and for Kim who married a person like me. Don't get me wrong it's not like I want to go out and spend lots of money on a 2010 black Jaguar. As awesome as that would be, I really just wish the bills would be paid on time and I could buy a new dress every now and then. No, I won't complain because I have a roof over my head, I get fed more than a person needs, my husband and I both have our own cars to drive and we aren't sick. (Thank the Lord!) We have a lot to be thankful for. Even the cats are happy as they have all the same luxuries that we have except the car. They wouldn't like riding in it anyway. So, what can I say? It is, what it is. I must rejoice and be happy in my current circumstances. If the Lord has other plans for me, he will make it known to me. I just pray I'm paying attention and don't miss His message.
I must rely on my Lord and learn from Paul in Philippians 4:11.
Plans change as situations change and sometimes things just don't work out the way we planned. I retired from 30 years of school teaching in 2007. My plans were to find other work, maybe even a new career. We really could not afford for me to retire, but I was not happy and was coming down with major burn out. However, after I retired, I did not work at all until January when I began administering tests for the school district. During the months I did not work, I enjoyed my freedom from lesson planning, grading papers, turning in gradesheets and disciplining children. It felt good. I volunteered more with the community theater, ran errands and did things for my husband I never was able to do before. I had freedom to go grocery store shopping in the middle of the day when the store was not crowded. There's a lot to be said for getting to do what you've always dreamed of doing while everyone else is at work. Yes, it felt good and I liked it.
Then, we began to miss my paycheck and I knew it was time for me to buckle down to finding a part time job. The testing I had done was temporary and even though it paid well, did not last long enough. I was asked to give tests again during the summer, but again, it was temporary. Next, I found out about a university supervisor job and began my inquiry. The job was paying pretty good and with my qualifications, I was hired for the new school year as an adjunct at the university.
The opportunity to work with college students and help them through the process of becoming a teacher is a very fulfilling experience. My field work is only one day a week. I accept the students' assignments online and grade their digital papers on other days from the convenience of my home. Then, at mid term the university made budget cuts and changed the university supervisor's responsibility and pay from two courses, to one course. The pay cut really did not help our situation. So, I signed on to tutor students, and give more tests to supplement my annuity paycheck from the retirement system. Problem now is that I must keep track of all the hours I work for a state education institution or I jeopardize my annuity if I work over 50% of full time employment. Believe me when I say that keeping up with those hours is another job all together.
We have done pretty good up until this month when no extra income coming in for the summer has really taken its toll. Fortunately, the schools are starting back up tomorrow. I've signed on to work with the university again and also applied to substitute teach in the public schools where I retired from 2 years ago. When I announced that I was retiring in 2007, many people asked if I would be substitute teaching to which I hastily replied, No way! Shouldn't have spoken so fast.
It was my wish to retire, so I really shouldn't complain. The daily drudgery of all the paperwork every single night of the week just got to me. Retirement had to happen and my husband supported me. Every now and then, I get anxious about the loss of income. I can't help it. When the money isn't there for me to something for new the house or bills aren't paid on time, the blues kick in. A little of the old depression covers me like water from a shower washing over my nervous system. I can't stop the feeling and begin to feel sorry for myself and for Kim who married a person like me. Don't get me wrong it's not like I want to go out and spend lots of money on a 2010 black Jaguar. As awesome as that would be, I really just wish the bills would be paid on time and I could buy a new dress every now and then. No, I won't complain because I have a roof over my head, I get fed more than a person needs, my husband and I both have our own cars to drive and we aren't sick. (Thank the Lord!) We have a lot to be thankful for. Even the cats are happy as they have all the same luxuries that we have except the car. They wouldn't like riding in it anyway. So, what can I say? It is, what it is. I must rejoice and be happy in my current circumstances. If the Lord has other plans for me, he will make it known to me. I just pray I'm paying attention and don't miss His message.
I must rely on my Lord and learn from Paul in Philippians 4:11.
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