Relationships

Relationships, from my perspective, are wonderful at its best and challenging at its worst. They can be easy and at the same time very exasperating. Relationships: man and woman, girlfriend to girlfriend, male pal to male pal, partner to partner, church to elders, young to old, kids to peers, adults to peers, employ to boss, and in Jesus' day it was even master to slave. Many more relationships remain that could be compared and contrasted. But the fact remains that any and all relationships take a lot of work patience and tolerance in order to be healthy, honest and alive.

My husband and I have known each other for 36 years and married for 33 of those years. One might think that after all that time we'd never have a misunderstanding or conflicting word for each other. However, whether a couple is married for 33 years or 73 years, that relationship requires work. It might get easier as you grow older together and develop tolerance for the each other's idiosyncrasies. However, our marriage is important enough to both of us to continue to strive for the understanding and love we promised to each other in our marriage vows 33 1/2 years ago. Some friends of mine are celebrating 70 years of marriage this year. The following are some words of advice in regard to marriage, by the wife.

Marriage is not a game, not a contest. You are both on the same team. Always work together. Don’t let anyone come between you, no matter how convincing, how attractive the temptation.

We'd all do well to follow that advice not only for our marriages, but for any relationship. Just substitute the word "marriage" for any relational situation in which you participate. For example: "Church relationships" are not a game or contest. You are both on the same team. Always work together. Don't let "the devil" come between you, no matter how convincing, how attractive the temptation. Give the words of my friend some thought in your dealings with other people.

Most relationships encountered on a day to day basis, don't have vows attached. We don't normally recite vows of loyalty and acceptance to our friends, bosses, or leaders with whom we are involved. The rights of "number one" seem to prevail in many relationships with no evidence of love or respect. Some bosses want, even demand, respect from their employees to the extent that the employees may only respect his authority because of his ability to terminate their jobs. A friend, while loyal to a point, can also be demanding of her friendship. He or she gets their feelings hurt when their friend does not agree with them on a point of personal importance. However, true friends will usually talk out their differences for the sake of the friendship. I have found that my closest, truest girlfriends allow me to bare my soul. They listen and give me feedback with gentleness. I trust their advice and they'll agree and support me all the way. However, not all friendships are as amiable. People should take Peter's instruction to live in harmony with one another.

In the cast of our Christian brothers and sisters, that harmony should definitely be in place. We are taught by Jesus to love one another. There seem to be more disagreements and intolerance within church relationships than most others I've known. Some intolerance appears to come from people thinking their way is the only way. We take offense too easily, not giving consideration to the other person's feelings and not taking time to talk about our different opinions. God's children should never behave so rudely to each other. Church relations deserve as much effort as marriages, and considering the growing number of divorces, they deserve much more.

God knew he had created a flawed species when he cast Adam and Eve from the Garden. He knew that we would need a Savior in order to enter heaven and the divine presence of our Lord at the end of our life. As a flawed creature, however, He gave us the ability to make choices. We don't always make good choices in our relationships. We botch up our lives when we selfishly attempt to laud our power over another human being.

By the grace of God, we can achieve a loving understanding and tolerance for each other in this world. Value your relationships. Work on them. Our opinions are just that...our opinions. Passing them off as facts are just wrong. God can not tolerate wrong. (Habakkuk 1:13)
We recall with humility the words of Rodney King when in 1992 he made an appeal to the rioting crowds, "...can't we all just get along."

Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called sons of God. (Matthew 5:9)

Summer, Time for Nothing

Every time I hear or sing the lyrics to the popular old song, Summertime, I envision a tall, white stately old Louisiana plantation porch. I'd be sitting in a tall rocking chair with an oriental fan in one hand and a mint julep in the other. Stretched out in front of me are tall moss laden oak trees swaying in the soft warm breeze. The air is filled with the melodic sounds of birds and locust. Ah...no obligations whatsoever at that moment. This is truly summertime bliss.

Summer is the season to wear limp cotton clothes, flip-flops, and shorts. Summer is the time for coffee leisurely sipped while waking up late before a carefree day. Summer is watching our cats stalk lizards among the tall plants in our backyard. Summer is the smell of fresh mowed grass and the sight of blue wildflowers heroically blossoming among the weeds.

Summer is the Fourth of July in the park listening to concerts and watching fireworks soar high into the dark sky before exploding suddenly into a million and one multi-colored glittery strands of fire. Summer is an evening at the baseball park cheering for the hometown team, with high 5's all around as Berkman slams one more homerun into the Crawford boxes.

Summer is melted ice cream, ice cold watermelon, and frosted sugar cookies enjoyed with laughing children. Summer is a trip to the beach and a breezy evening ferry ride across the salty bay waters with noisy seagulls feeding in the boat's wake. Summer is the feel of cool wet sand beneath bare feet.

Summer is lunch with girlfriends in a quaint tea room punctuated by girlish laughter from 50-something aged women enjoying the company of their sisters. Summer is lazy tunes from a late night jazz combo drifting out into the hot night sky. Summer is an evening out with friends who share that special feeling one can only get while sitting outside on a warm Texas night.

"Summertime, and the livin' is easy".

Why the Chicken Crossed the Road, or Chicken Takes a Risk

Why does the chicken cross the road? Probably one of the most asked “why” questions of all time. The setting is a hot summer day in Texas on a dusty dirt road in the country. The occasional 1957 Chevy pick up truck or slow moving tractor is bouncing its way back up the road to the barn. The white chicken is standing on the side of the road; red comb flopped to one side, watching the vehicles amble by while contemplating her venture to the other side.

Perhaps more importantly instead of asking “why” the chicken crossed the road, one should ask, where it would get her to cross to the other side and what she hoped to accomplish by crossing the road? That would have answered any question of “why” one might have had in the first place.

Where did the chicken think it would lead her once across the road?
The chicken was going to the wheat field she saw just beyond the wire fence on other side of the road. Tall “amber waves of grain” leaned back and forth in the hot summer breeze. Small kernels of wheat gently drift to the ground where they lay in wait for an adventurous chicken such as herself to peck it up. This road crossing could lead to other wheat fields where the little hen could have her fill of grain to eat. The wheat field stretched as far as her little black eyes could see. It presented her with an endless possibility of food for life.

What does the chicken hope to accomplish by eating her fill of the wheat found on the other side of the road?
She thinks that if she eats the grain she’ll produce more eggs and the farmer can sell them to make money. The money will buy grain to grow wheat on their farm, thus ending the need to cross the road. Now the chicken will have wheat on her side of the road to eat. The farmer might also buy a handsome rooster and a new coup where they can raise chicks. Then, the farmer will have more hens to lay eggs. More eggs to sell will mean more money for the farmer and more grain for the chickens. It’s a win-win situation.

Where does the farmer see himself in 5 years now that the chicken crossed the road to get more grain, to produce more eggs for the farmer to sell?
The farmer sees himself on a large chicken farm with lots of hens laying eggs daily. The markets in the city will buy the hens’ eggs. That will bring him wealth and he will be able to afford the two-story farmhouse his wife has always dreamed of owning. All of this just because the chicken took a risk and crossed the road.

So, that is why the chicken crossed the road. However, she wouldn’t have crossed the road had she not seen the potential in eating more grain from the fields beyond the fence.

Therefore, do not ask why someone does a certain thing. Instead ask, “Where are you going with your idea or plan?” Also, ask, “What will you do with what you find there?” and, “What will it look like 5 years in the future?”

There’s a lesson to be learned here somewhere. Perhaps it is this: Take a risk; it is not about why you do it. It’s about what you do with it and where you hope to take it from here.