Relationships

Relationships, from my perspective, are wonderful at its best and challenging at its worst. They can be easy and at the same time very exasperating. Relationships: man and woman, girlfriend to girlfriend, male pal to male pal, partner to partner, church to elders, young to old, kids to peers, adults to peers, employ to boss, and in Jesus' day it was even master to slave. Many more relationships remain that could be compared and contrasted. But the fact remains that any and all relationships take a lot of work patience and tolerance in order to be healthy, honest and alive.

My husband and I have known each other for 36 years and married for 33 of those years. One might think that after all that time we'd never have a misunderstanding or conflicting word for each other. However, whether a couple is married for 33 years or 73 years, that relationship requires work. It might get easier as you grow older together and develop tolerance for the each other's idiosyncrasies. However, our marriage is important enough to both of us to continue to strive for the understanding and love we promised to each other in our marriage vows 33 1/2 years ago. Some friends of mine are celebrating 70 years of marriage this year. The following are some words of advice in regard to marriage, by the wife.

Marriage is not a game, not a contest. You are both on the same team. Always work together. Don’t let anyone come between you, no matter how convincing, how attractive the temptation.

We'd all do well to follow that advice not only for our marriages, but for any relationship. Just substitute the word "marriage" for any relational situation in which you participate. For example: "Church relationships" are not a game or contest. You are both on the same team. Always work together. Don't let "the devil" come between you, no matter how convincing, how attractive the temptation. Give the words of my friend some thought in your dealings with other people.

Most relationships encountered on a day to day basis, don't have vows attached. We don't normally recite vows of loyalty and acceptance to our friends, bosses, or leaders with whom we are involved. The rights of "number one" seem to prevail in many relationships with no evidence of love or respect. Some bosses want, even demand, respect from their employees to the extent that the employees may only respect his authority because of his ability to terminate their jobs. A friend, while loyal to a point, can also be demanding of her friendship. He or she gets their feelings hurt when their friend does not agree with them on a point of personal importance. However, true friends will usually talk out their differences for the sake of the friendship. I have found that my closest, truest girlfriends allow me to bare my soul. They listen and give me feedback with gentleness. I trust their advice and they'll agree and support me all the way. However, not all friendships are as amiable. People should take Peter's instruction to live in harmony with one another.

In the cast of our Christian brothers and sisters, that harmony should definitely be in place. We are taught by Jesus to love one another. There seem to be more disagreements and intolerance within church relationships than most others I've known. Some intolerance appears to come from people thinking their way is the only way. We take offense too easily, not giving consideration to the other person's feelings and not taking time to talk about our different opinions. God's children should never behave so rudely to each other. Church relations deserve as much effort as marriages, and considering the growing number of divorces, they deserve much more.

God knew he had created a flawed species when he cast Adam and Eve from the Garden. He knew that we would need a Savior in order to enter heaven and the divine presence of our Lord at the end of our life. As a flawed creature, however, He gave us the ability to make choices. We don't always make good choices in our relationships. We botch up our lives when we selfishly attempt to laud our power over another human being.

By the grace of God, we can achieve a loving understanding and tolerance for each other in this world. Value your relationships. Work on them. Our opinions are just that...our opinions. Passing them off as facts are just wrong. God can not tolerate wrong. (Habakkuk 1:13)
We recall with humility the words of Rodney King when in 1992 he made an appeal to the rioting crowds, "...can't we all just get along."

Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called sons of God. (Matthew 5:9)