Fear

“What are you afraid of? What are your fears?” Those were questions asked in a Sunday school class recently. The minister at our church is conducting a three-week study about people’s fears in light of being a Christian.

“Fear…my immediate thought was “Death, I’m afraid of dying.” Then, on second thought and after listening to others comment about being afraid of snakes, spiders and their children not following Jesus; I rethought my first reaction to be, “I’m afraid of my husband’s death or that of my children more than I am of my own.”

I suppose that being left to grieve for someone with whom I’ve had a close and intimate relationship with scares me most. Not too distant memories of grief for family that have already passed away quickly come back to mind. My stomach begins to hurt and my chest aches with the memories of how physically weak those loses made me feel. It was as if my life and spirit was sucked right out of me like stuffing falling out of a rag doll. I was limp with grief when my mother died and then my dad a few years later. That was the worst I’d ever grieved for anyone and still do to this day.

The next fear I have seems like it would pale in light of death. It is a fear that our bills won’t be paid. That we’ll run out of money and all of the companies we’ve ever done business with will be calling nonstop every day demanding to have our minimum payment immediately…including interest. So bizarre that companies charge interest on money we’ve spent. Sounds like they are thieves and we are the victims of such business. Wish we’d known that 30 years ago. I never would have started using credit cards if I’d known and understood what a racket it really was.

If we were to lose our house, I think I could handle that. I’ve moved before, I can move again. At least it allows me to clean out all the old stuff I didn’t get rid of in the first or second move. However, I don’t really believe it’ll come to that. I just have a “fear” of it happening. I like our present house. There are a lot of things I’d like to fix, remodel or paint, but I’m fearful of spending the money. I’m fearful that the bills won’t get paid if I buy paint or new curtains. That’s not to say that I don’t spend money, for indeed I do spend money. Mostly, I spend money at the grocery store. There was a time many years ago that when the checker rang up the final bill, knowing my check balance, I’d have to tell her I couldn’t pay that amount. Then, embarrassed I’d begin to take items out of my sacks. I hated that fearful feeling that the total was too much to pay. To this day, I watch with a little anticipation as the system checks my credit after scanning my debit card. I am relieved when I see “Approved” on the little screen in front of me. It’s a fear I don’t seem to be able to overcome.

Fear, I have heard, can be debilitating. I believe that to be true when I find myself at a standstill on the brink of my fears. Thoughts begin to scramble with ways to solve my problem, to overcome the issue that is causing the shockwave running throughout my body. “If I can just get a hold of my fears and find peace,” I tell myself. “God, help me to be calm in this storm. Stop the tremors of fear I am feeling!” I pray to the Lord. Yes, I believe fear can be debilitating. One day, when I do die, I know that the calm my body has ached for will come when Jesus wraps his arms around me. Then, it’ll all be over, the fears, the worry, the stomachaches, the shaking with anticipation of what might happen next. Finally, I will be in the safe comfort of the Lord’s kingdom.

“The cords of death entangled me; the torrents of destruction overwhelmed me. The cords of the grave coiled around me; the snares of death confronted me. In my distress I called to the Lord; I cried to my God for help. From his temple he heard my voice; my cry came before him, into his ears.” Psalms 18:4-6

All We Need is Patience

Patience--the ability to tolerate being hurt, provoked, or annoyed without complaint or loss of temper.

The Beatles may have sang "All we need is love...", but I say that a little patience wouldn't hurt either. It has been with displeasure that I read online comments to others that are impatient, unnecessary and rude. Some people won't let anything go. Remember what your mother or grandmother said, "If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all".

It would seem that people in our society have come to believe that they are numero uno or its all about them. If they don't like what one has to say, they may rebut right to their face or in a more cowardly way, online. It might be that the online community feels like they are behind the Wizard of Oz curtain. They think that no one will pay attend to them because of the "cyber- curtain" separating them from the real person out front writing the message.

The internet has become a vehicle to communicate with friends or would-be friends. In this world where people enjoy meeting new people, they can go to the Internet for friends. In fact Facebook and My Space, even call the contacts a person has online, their "friends". So, these "friends" are open and talk about their likes or what they find interesting. I read one this morning that was an innocent survey inviting others on a particular public web blog to participate. Not a must do or even one that too many young people would want to do, but some did it and the person posting the survey found it of interest. Did uninterested readers just ignore the invitation if they chose not to participate? No, they had to belittle and write rude comments to and about the person who found the survey interesting in the first place.

In this world where people are physically hurting everyday, why do people have to hurt each other with words? In my opinion, a person loses their self worth when others do not validate their thoughts and comments. If one doesn't agree with what is being said and feels strongly that the other person is in error, then do as the Bible says. Go to the person face to face, talk to them gently and take another person along. I heard of a woman who asked another woman if she was going to a church event. That other woman replied, "No" rather abruptly leaving the first woman to wonder why she disapproved of the event. When she confronted her about her comment, she found out it wasn't that she disapproved at all, but that she had something else to do that night. So, sometimes I'm sure we all misinterpret other people's comments. We want to take care that we don't jump to the wrong conclusion. I'm afraid I am guilty of that sometimes. Although, we should be aware that so many can misinterpret an online comment because of the lack of vocal tone.

In conclusion, I would just like to remind us all to have more patience in dealing with our fellow human beings. Make your comments to others patient and kind, like Jesus demonstrated to us so long ago.

Ephesians 4:2-4

Little Shop of Horrors at the BLT2

Our show at the BLT opened last night to a sell out crowd. That feels good too because our theater really needs the funds. Since the car crashed into our theater last July, we've been displaced. Our current location, although not ideal, was offered to us at a considerably reduced rent by one of our longtime patrons and funders. We gratefully accepted, renovated the space into a theater and plan to be there while the executive board researches our next move. For now, the BLT2 is serving us well as evidenced by the success at opening night of Little Shop of Horrors.

Kim is not seen onstage, but is certainly heard as the voice of Audrey II, the blood thirsty, saucy talking giant plant. He rocks belting out the songs, Feed Me! & Suppertime, while the rest of us backstage groove to the beat in the wings. I'm in the chorus with a short solo and a few lines as a customer dropping into the flower shop to check out the Audrey II. The show is runs under 2 hours, just a nice length of time leaving the audience happy and not too sleepy to drive home.

I hope the patrons will continue to fill the seats throughout the rest of the run. With 10 remaining performances this should be a fine money-maker for our "new theater account". Please visit our website to learn more about our productions.