My Resolve in 2012

My mind ran through many themes for a blog entry making it difficult deciding where to land on this first post of 2012.  However, there was one reoccurring thought that kept revolving back to mind and it seemed destiny predicted I would write on life’s unknown. One day in January I was packing away Christmas ornaments and I was struck with the realization that unknown things were going to happen in the New Year. That is inevitable and a thing out of my control. It also occurred to me that of the uncontrollable things happening that some would cause happiness and others would not. It is those unknown others that frighten and worry me the most about the next 12 months.   

In 2011, the event that affected me more than any was the unexpected passing of my oldest brother, Johnny. The first of my siblings to pass away after our parents, his death seemed to heighten my worrisome nature. Having hip surgery back in October of 2010 and surviving months of recovery, Johnny was finally back on the job. Coworkers said of that dreadful day that he grasped his chest, gasped his last breath and collapsed. The day was June 20 when my other brother called me in Sugar Land to tell me our brother was unconscious and paramedics had not been able to resuscitate him. Kim and I were in Sugar Land that day to help our son, Kyle, pack his home and family for a move almost 400 miles away. Kyle, wife, Amanda and our sweet granddaughter, Olivia were on their way to live in Abilene. Personally, their move was the second most affective thing that happened in my life in 2011. Taking a close third was our youngest son losing his teaching job in Baytown, ending a 2-year teaching position in a junior high school theater class. All of those incidents left me wondering, as I placed green and gold tree ornaments in boxes, of what unsettling events would affect my life in this New Year.

Unfortunately, my natural tendency is see the glass half empty. I’m working on it and attempting to learn from people who appear to see the glass half full. My brother's passing, while terribly sad, brought our family back together for a memorial. As these sorts of events draw relatives distanced by life's changes, we were able to remember Johnny's life and renew familial relationships. Kyle and Amanda have settled into their new jobs. While I still wish they lived closer to us, we reveled in a long visit with them and Olivia over the holidays here in our house. As for our youngest son, Ryan, he is working for a friend, content and perhaps glad he is not teaching school.

So, why must I anguish over things out of my control doing nothing to prevent the inevitable depressed wave of emotion? As the Father of creation, God knows his children. He knows me. He pleads for us to cast our eyes on the cross and the One who can guide us through the valleys of this life. In 2012 my resolve is to trust in God’s promises to prevent worry of the unknowns. There will likely be blessings as well as sadness in 2012. My hope is in God with whom all things are possible. 

As for me, I call to God, and the LORD saves me: Psalm 55:16

Christmas Love

Just the mention of one's mom and my mind's eye immediately sees your face and tears rise. How could it be that it has been eighteen years since we last talked? To simply say, I miss you would be an understatement. The hole in my chest has never healed, nor found matter to fill the void left that dreadful early morning looking on as you breathed your last.

Christmas with poinsettias will always remind me of you. A Christmas Eve anniversary for you and Dad, the red leaves were a symbol of your love for each other and a staple among our holiday decorations. The crimson potted plant sat on top of the TV cabinet or your sewing machine cabinet. Although, the sewing machine cabinet would not be its pedestal until company arrived, because you were likely sewing some dress or pair of pajamas for yourself, me or my boys. Your sewing machine now rests in one of my bedrooms. Your presence is felt as I stand near the machine, thinking of the many bridesmaid dresses, school clothes and pajamas you painstakingly stitched as the machine needle quickly plunged in and out of the fabric. The clickety-clack of the Singer lives in my mind and I see you seated in the little chair during late night and all day marathons diligently sewing as a special event approaches.

As this Christmas season wraps us in ribbon, toys, and the joys of being with family, I'm nostalgic with memories of you, apron clad, standing in our kitchen mixing up tasty pies and candies. No one could infuse as much joy and love in their baking as you did, especially during the Christmas season. Oh, to recreate those warm feelings of safety, love and acceptance I felt on chilly mornings in our kitchen, your eyes brimming with love for all of us, serving breakfast while baking pies and cakes for the holidays! Always busy, you embodied the woman of noble character.
Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all. - Proverbs 31

Dedicated to my mother, Louise Bernice Bond Ritchey b. 03/02/21, d. 05/04/93.

Falling Back

As I think about falling back, the meaning that readily comes to mind is that this first Sunday of November most of the U. S. except Arizona, Hawaii and Navajo tribes will fall back to Standard time. It is a time the working class anticipates as they relish that extra hour of sleep. Although, as a Christian, our weak flesh has been caught up in temptations and I hear falling back as drifting backwards on promises made to remove harmful practices in my life. What comes to my mind is falling back into tempting habits once put away.

Matthew 26:41
Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.

We are imperfect. As much as we want to do right, live right and exercise a Christian example to others, our flesh is weak. In times of weakness, an old habit once put away, tempts me and I allow it back in my life. Today, as much as I regret yesterday, it is a blessing to know that I worship a merciful, forgiving God. A God who will pick me up when I fall back and hold me closer today. As we fall back, let us pray:

(Matthew 6:9-15)
Our Father in heaven,
hallowed be your name,
¹⁰ your kingdom come,
your will be done,
   on earth as it is in heaven.
¹¹ Give us today our daily bread.
¹² And forgive us our debts,
   as we also have forgiven our debtors.
¹³ And lead us not into temptation,^[a]
   but deliver us from the evil one.^[b]’    ¹⁴ For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.