In the Year Twenty, Thirteen

In the year 2013 we will...what?  My hope is to crawl out from underneath some of our debts. We were blessed this year when I was assigned two long term jobs substitute teaching in the schools and enough daily jobs to help with finances. If you read my previous entry, then you know that last sub job was not a walk in the park. However, the income from the jobs, plus the generosity of my in-laws allowed us to selfishly gift each other with some new furniture this past Christmas.

Such was a welcome gift to begin 2013! Now for the rest of the year. Retired in 2007, I have had many work opportunities come my way through the God's mercy. Though none have panned out for regular employment, I am thankful to have been able to pad my retirement checks and help pay bills. The last two month long term job has ended and I am currently on a short break of sorts before I begin administering tests to Gifted and Talented candidates in elementary schools. Even though I tell myself I "deserve" this break, I feel guilty every day I do not go out to earn a paycheck. Kim works hard for us and I know God has blessed me with this man. So, it is my daily desire that I can help him with our joint efforts by doing my part.
(You may be asking yourself, "Why did you retire, Mary Lou?" I ask myself that question too. I will say that the last long term job reminded me of why I retired.)


This year I would like to see more active resolve in our financial problems. My thought has been that we should move, to downsize to a house with less monthly mortgage. One day I am completely convinced that this would save us. The next day, not so much and a wave of sadness rushes over me at the thought of moving from this place. Today I am of the mind to shop around on the internet for our next home. Tomorrow I'll pray for more work to come my way.

Once again for as long as I have been retired and before, it is at this time of year the money saga looms overhead. Sometimes I just hate money and all the problems it brings. Other days, I realize that money brings many resolutions to problems we go through. It was certainly a welcome surprise to receive a monetary gift so we could afford our new furniture. There is a bit of irritating irony in that thought because it is money that has me twisted in knots and money that will get me out of the entanglement.

2013 will likely rock along as any other year, over the ups and downs of life. There will be on this earth storms, fires, natural disasters, people starving, people dying, evil lurking around the corners, evil shooting innocents with no regard to life itself. I worry, fear, and long for the exhale of relief from so much wrong in my little part of the world. Yet, out in the bigger parts of the world I know there are tragedies of such magnitude were those to effect me personally, I would surely lie down and die. One day I praise God for his mercy and grace in my life as He sustains my days, providing me with all I need. The next day I hear of senseless shootings taking place in common places as a mall, a movie house, or the most unlikely of places for tragedy to strike, in elementary schools; I pray for my uncertainty of a God and pray that He does in fact watch over me and my family. Lord, give me strength!

My hope in 2013 is that there will be no evil person/s to use his/her unhappiness to punish innocent people, that the Lord God will petition the natural disasters on earth to be still and that I will finally breathe a sigh of relief over personal matters. In my anxiety about life's turmoil, I have to keep my eye focused on my Father and remember He exists and knows what I do not. He has seen the outcome of this life and I have only read about it. May God's mercies continue to bless our lives in 2013 and may we believe more fervently in the power of an Almighty Savior.