August 31, 2010

Hi! My Name is Sissy

Growing Old is Not for Sissies. You have likely heard this phrase before. That short statement resonates more meaning for me as fifty waves goodbye and sixty is seen up ahead. There is nothing silver coated or fur lined about passing the 55+ mark of life. The physical aspect alone is certainly not for sissies. Even fifty-something bullies beg for mercy when faced with the needle sticking, pill popping, early morning aches and pains our age has morphed us into. Though I'm thankful to even be walking, breathing and talking with some sibilance of sanity, it is clear to me that growing old really isn't for sissies.

All of those years of not sticking to my diet, has left me with little self control to eat healthy. Consequently, my body has grown comfortable and relaxed sitting 40 pounds heavier than my target weight. Alright, not so comfortable. Truth is my knees buckle under the added weight and anti-inflammatory medication now shares space with other over-the-hill drugs on my bathroom shelf. Wishing I'd climbed onto the health train a lot sooner, any energy I once had to exercise and eat right has unfortunately lost steam. There was a time aerobics classes was part of my weekly schedule. Now there is a Yoga book for people 50+ in years sitting on my bookshelf waiting to be perused. Seeking less strenuous forms of exercise that won't send my knees into permanent lock-down, Yoga seems to be the path to take.

In addition retirement is not for sissies either. Retirement is the oasis of growing old, tiny umbrellas in cocktails and all. We think we are going to do whatever we want, vacation, spend more time with friends and go to the Bahamas. Unfortunately, after the income is cut in half and the bills are not, those cocktails taste pretty bitter while the Bahamas becomes a fictional land far, far away. Having worked one profession for 35 years, searching for a part time job has now cut into my full time retirement. Nope, retirement is not for sissies either.

I wish I had great words of wisdom and answers to this plight, but I don't. Many jobs exist, though not in my field nor do I possess the qualifications needed. There are jobs I could take if I'm willing to stand on my aching feet 8 hours a day stocking shelves and pricing underwear, some evenings and weekends for an hourly wage. Office jobs available to me are either seasonal or pay below minimum wage. That's a big gulp after earning a master's degree and working 35 years in a professional career for a salary.

And to think, my mom used to nickname me "Sissy". *Sigh!* I'm just saying!

August 19, 2010

Back to School...NOT

Here we are again at the beginning of the school year. I am not decorating my living room in Fall Leaves or school buses. I am not putting out 22 school boxes and filling each with crayons, glue or scissors. I will not write 22 names on 3 pocket folders each, 2 spiral notebooks each and 5 different grade lists. I am not making name tags or desk tags. I have Kim, Homer and Baby’s names pretty much solid in my memory bank. I will not sit in faculty meetings sipping my coffee, while doodling with the new sharpie pens and notepads the office staff put on our tables nor will I nibble the free chocolates scattered about to keep us awake. I will not be the leader of 5 other teachers who likely will be unhappy with me when I have to call a team meeting. I will not put posters on my kitchen walls listing the “consequences” for not following the 5 basic rules of behavior. I will not be inhaling my lunch in only 20 min. in order to meet a group of 22 wiggling, screaming 3rd graders only to realize when I do that I forgot to use the restroom. I will not be running off worksheets for Kim to work on in his “free time” nor will I give him a list of books he can read and take AR tests on his computer. I will not fill my desk trays with nurse passes, office passes, restroom passes nor absentee slips. I will not grade Kim or any other person’s work in my house. I will not laugh on Monday when the cars picking up students at my former school are lined up all the way to my house.

I will write notes to my friends through email and Facebook. I will spend time writing the church news for members to read each Sunday. I will write the theater newsletter and learn to use the theater's new online communications system. I will write on my personal blog at least once a month. I will go to the restroom at any time of the day I want to. I will read at least one book that is not instruction or self help and just for fun. I will try to be a better person, which is part of the Travis Elem. Code. I will work when I want and stop at a decent hour. I will get at least 7 hours of sleep a night. I will volunteer when the need is present. I will watch TV any time of the day I wish (HGTV IS ON ALL DAY). I will sing when I feel like singing. I will smile at a student walking home from my former place of employment.

Its not much, but its the least I can do to help get this school year off to a better start! :-D

August 4, 2010

Marriage and the AARP


This morning I noticed our AARP (American Association of Retired Persons) magazine on the counter and a handsome Dennis Quaid caught my eye. Inside a dreamy-eyed Hugh Grant smiled for his 50th birthday photo. The over 50 crowd is just as handsome as ever. Though I smiled as I glanced at the two lovelies, the real reason I picked up the magazine was to read an article about, 8 Signs Your Marriage is Healthy (or not).

Another particularly handsome over 50 male is my own, Kim Martin. We've been together for 38 years as a couple, 35 of those years in marriage. Our marriage is very seasoned and comfortable but not without room for improvement. So, naturally, the article piqued my interest. What I learned is that our marriage is healthy and normal for as long as we have been together. Those long periods of silence between us as we type on our computers (or in Kim's case, his iPhone) are not to be taken as a sign of marriage deterioration. Though I've wondered in the past if those periods of quiet during meals or riding in a car were not a sign of complacency, the article offered credible advice (the author is a 38 year vet of relationships research) to the contrary.

My conclusion after reading the article, Fighting the 40-Year Itch, is that our marriage is stronger than ever. Today we have a deeper relationship supported by knowing glances and looks of understanding. We have a knowledge of how the other will react to certain life situations one only learns after years of attention to the details of a relationship. Names of affection naturally punctuate our spoken words to each other. We take care of each other, discuss budgets, love our precious grandchildren and still enjoy activities together.

We don't have to say, "I love you", but we do. When we hug in the kitchen or simply pat the other in bed after an exhausting day, those three words can still be as comforting as they were 35 years ago. As Tevya says to Golda, "it doesn't change a thing, but after 25 years (35 years), it's nice to know".

Thank you Kim for growing old with me. I love you!

August 2, 2010

From 50 to 60 in just 10 Years


Since early June, Kim and I have been involved in another BLT (Baytown Little Theater) summer musical, My Fair Lady. Against my better judgment I went to the auditions and since Kim was bound to work on the show, I joined him on the play. Now I say "against my better judgment" because I know my body and that it has been feeling not only my age, but my weight. "Yikes!" my feet and knees scream.

Kim was cast in the role of Henry Higgins which is the male lead. My part is "chorus". Eh, its not much, but in some shows a bigger part than in other shows. For me, My Fair Lady has been that "other" show. As enjoyable as singing and acting is for me, the dancing part, not so much. Just the other side of 50 years old...okay, several miles passed the tracks...I can't dance without hearing those cries from my feet and legs. Having just completed the opening weekend of the play, my feet and legs are yelling in pain at me.

Learning all of those Henry Higgins' lines was a challenge for Kim. The character not only speaks with an English accent, the wordy phrases are said in such a way that only the English would say. He, and I, have labored over his lines as he worked to memorize songs and words. Once an easier task, now "just the other side of 50 years old", he has found this activity not as pleasurable as it was before.

Simply aging is not difficult. Keeping our aging bodies in good condition is very difficult for some of us. Activities we do after we turn 50 has become more of a chore than they were before. Even though most of us have learned that exercise and healthy diets are beneficial to our aging bodies, I find that many of us don't get serious about our exercise and diet until we hurt.

After opening weekend of the play where really did enjoy dancing in shoes my feet were not accustomed to wearing, and on floors with no cushion whatsoever, my legs really hurt. It is not going to be as much fun the second weekend of the play if my legs do not recover from that workout. Exercise? Now too late, I wish I'd kept up with exercise.

Whereas my leg muscles have rebelled against my dancing, Kim's brain has benefited from the mental workout he gave it. All of his hard work memorizing lines of Professor Higgins probably built his brain power. Makes one wonder if in our high technological age of short Twitter and Facebook posts, email and abbreviated phone texting, are not doing our brains more harm than good. Kim's memorization was a real brain workout for sure.

Have I learned anything from this experience? Sure, of course I did! Follow my first instinct and don't do this again!!! Ha! not really. What I've learned is that I need to be more diligent to eat healthier, lose weight and exercise so my legs won't freak out with physical activity. Will I be in another summer musical? Probably. Will Kim be in another play? It is highly likely he will, though I would doubt it will be as a lead character. Although, I have to tell you readers, he was a fantastic Professor Higgins!

My high school class just celebrated our 40th Reunion. In two years we will be part of the 60 group. Where has the time gone? My time on this earth is narrowing down and if I want these years to be more pleasure and less misery, I need to listen to my body and help it out. My feet and legs have got to be shut up, they are screaming way too much these days.
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