Hi! My Name is Sissy

Growing Old is Not for Sissies. You have likely heard this phrase before. That short statement resonates more meaning for me as fifty waves goodbye and sixty is seen up ahead. There is nothing silver coated or fur lined about passing the 55+ mark of life. The physical aspect alone is certainly not for sissies. Even fifty-something bullies beg for mercy when faced with the needle sticking, pill popping, early morning aches and pains our age has morphed us into. Though I'm thankful to even be walking, breathing and talking with some sibilance of sanity, it is clear to me that growing old really isn't for sissies.

All of those years of not sticking to my diet, has left me with little self control to eat healthy. Consequently, my body has grown comfortable and relaxed sitting 40 pounds heavier than my target weight. Alright, not so comfortable. Truth is my knees buckle under the added weight and anti-inflammatory medication now shares space with other over-the-hill drugs on my bathroom shelf. Wishing I'd climbed onto the health train a lot sooner, any energy I once had to exercise and eat right has unfortunately lost steam. There was a time aerobics classes was part of my weekly schedule. Now there is a Yoga book for people 50+ in years sitting on my bookshelf waiting to be perused. Seeking less strenuous forms of exercise that won't send my knees into permanent lock-down, Yoga seems to be the path to take.

In addition retirement is not for sissies either. Retirement is the oasis of growing old, tiny umbrellas in cocktails and all. We think we are going to do whatever we want, vacation, spend more time with friends and go to the Bahamas. Unfortunately, after the income is cut in half and the bills are not, those cocktails taste pretty bitter while the Bahamas becomes a fictional land far, far away. Having worked one profession for 35 years, searching for a part time job has now cut into my full time retirement. Nope, retirement is not for sissies either.

I wish I had great words of wisdom and answers to this plight, but I don't. Many jobs exist, though not in my field nor do I possess the qualifications needed. There are jobs I could take if I'm willing to stand on my aching feet 8 hours a day stocking shelves and pricing underwear, some evenings and weekends for an hourly wage. Office jobs available to me are either seasonal or pay below minimum wage. That's a big gulp after earning a master's degree and working 35 years in a professional career for a salary.

And to think, my mom used to nickname me "Sissy". *Sigh!* I'm just saying!

Back to School...NOT

Here we are again at the beginning of the school year. I am not decorating my living room in Fall Leaves or school buses. I am not putting out 22 school boxes and filling each with crayons, glue or scissors. I will not write 22 names on 3 pocket folders each, 2 spiral notebooks each and 5 different grade lists. I am not making name tags or desk tags. I have Kim, Homer and Baby’s names pretty much solid in my memory bank. I will not sit in faculty meetings sipping my coffee, while doodling with the new sharpie pens and notepads the office staff put on our tables nor will I nibble the free chocolates scattered about to keep us awake. I will not be the leader of 5 other teachers who likely will be unhappy with me when I have to call a team meeting. I will not put posters on my kitchen walls listing the “consequences” for not following the 5 basic rules of behavior. I will not be inhaling my lunch in only 20 min. in order to meet a group of 22 wiggling, screaming 3rd graders only to realize when I do that I forgot to use the restroom. I will not be running off worksheets for Kim to work on in his “free time” nor will I give him a list of books he can read and take AR tests on his computer. I will not fill my desk trays with nurse passes, office passes, restroom passes nor absentee slips. I will not grade Kim or any other person’s work in my house. I will not laugh on Monday when the cars picking up students at my former school are lined up all the way to my house.

I will write notes to my friends through email and Facebook. I will spend time writing the church news for members to read each Sunday. I will write the theater newsletter and learn to use the theater's new online communications system. I will write on my personal blog at least once a month. I will go to the restroom at any time of the day I want to. I will read at least one book that is not instruction or self help and just for fun. I will try to be a better person, which is part of the Travis Elem. Code. I will work when I want and stop at a decent hour. I will get at least 7 hours of sleep a night. I will volunteer when the need is present. I will watch TV any time of the day I wish (HGTV IS ON ALL DAY). I will sing when I feel like singing. I will smile at a student walking home from my former place of employment.

Its not much, but its the least I can do to help get this school year off to a better start! :-D

Marriage and the AARP

This morning I noticed our AARP (American Association of Retired Persons) magazine on the counter and a handsome Dennis Quaid caught my eye. Inside a dreamy-eyed Hugh Grant smiled for his 50th birthday photo. The over 50 crowd is just as handsome as ever. Though I smiled as I glanced at the two lovelies, the real reason I picked up the magazine was to read an article about, 8 Signs Your Marriage is Healthy (or not).

Another particularly handsome over 50 male is my own, Kim Martin. We've been together for 38 years as a couple, 35 of those years in marriage. Our marriage is very seasoned and comfortable but not without room for improvement. So, naturally, the article piqued my interest. What I learned is that our marriage is healthy and normal for as long as we have been together. Those long periods of silence between us as we type on our computers (or in Kim's case, his iPhone) are not to be taken as a sign of marriage deterioration. Though I've wondered in the past if those periods of quiet during meals or riding in a car were not a sign of complacency, the article offered credible advice (the author is a 38 year vet of relationships research) to the contrary.

My conclusion after reading the article, Fighting the 40-Year Itch, is that our marriage is stronger than ever. Today we have a deeper relationship supported by knowing glances and looks of understanding. We have a knowledge of how the other will react to certain life situations one only learns after years of attention to the details of a relationship. Names of affection naturally punctuate our spoken words to each other. We take care of each other, discuss budgets, love our precious grandchildren and still enjoy activities together.

We don't have to say, "I love you", but we do. When we hug in the kitchen or simply pat the other in bed after an exhausting day, those three words can still be as comforting as they were 35 years ago. As Tevya says to Golda, "it doesn't change a thing, but after 25 years (35 years), it's nice to know".

Thank you Kim for growing old with me. I love you!