I'm Just Saying

Family: Life Companions

2012-01-16T13:57:00.000-06:00

Me at age 4, Port Neches, TX.

When I was a little girl in Port Neches, TX, my daily joy was dressing up and pretending to be a mom. High heels several sizes too big, one of my mom's hats on my head and a purse on my arm, I'd wrap up my Tiny Tears doll in a blanket and go off to imitate mommy tasks as only a young 4 year old mind can perceive. Usually, that involved putting my doll in a buggy and strolling along the sidewalks or my driveway to places unknown. Playing with my dolls and pretending to be a mommy was a daily game of mine. I do not recall ever having a husband in these games for it seemed to me that moms did it all. Walking the baby in it's stroller, feeding the kids, changing their clothes, bathing them and putting them to bed were all the mommy jobs in my game of Life As Mommy.

Today there are many fathers doing a fine job of parenting their children. My own sons do as much as any woman of my mother's day with their children, shopping for groceries, cooking, cleaning, washing clothes and diapering dirty bottoms are regular tasks. They share the job of raising their children with their spouse and help in the daily tasks of housekeeping. To say I am proud of my sons' willing participation as a husband and parent would be an understatement. Bravo to young dads!

While my own father did not do a lot of cooking, he could fry up an egg with bacon and toast for breakfast which I do believe was the extent of his cooking. A blessing for us all! Instead of being a cook, my dad was a fixer of all things broken around our house as well as other people's houses. If the bathroom sink dripped, the toilet didn't flush or the car was coughing, my daddy could fix it. I rarely ever saw a repairman working around our house in 17 years I lived at home. It was only when vehicles were loaded with more electrical parts than Dad knew what to do with, did my he discontinue working on cars. Not only was he a plumber and mechanic in his spare time, he was also a house painter, carpenter and could lay a cement driveway or sidewalk with the skill of any craftsman. A man of all trades, he worked full time hours at a refinery and prepared taxes to pay for my brother and I to attend college.

My dad was a hard worker providing for his family and he managed to find time to play with my brother and I when he could. Dad played softball with us, helped me swim, and made rope swings for me in the large oak trees in our backyard. I spent many hours swinging back and forth in my homemade swings, watching the tree branches draw close to my toes. Singing as many tunes as I could remember, those were some very happy, safe and contented times in my life. No problems were too big for my daddy to handle. He was also a capable counselor and teacher as he spent hours with me on the floor of our living room struggling to help me read. We memorized words, the order of the books of the Bible and even learned to tie shoes on that floor. He encouraged me when I cried thinking the tasks too difficult for me to learn. Daddy taught me to love people, caring for those without the means to help themselves. He worked on the houses of more than one widow and would often keep a watchful eye on their pending needs.

Don't we wish all children had fathers who provided for their physical, mental and emotional needs? Fathers play an important role in their children's lives alongside their mothers. Mothers today have so much to accomplish in a day when 74% of them work 40 hour weeks in offices, department stores, construction sites, schools and many other places where they earn salaries equal to or more than their husbands' paychecks. Fewer and fewer woman are stay-at-home moms, venturing into the workforce providing as much as any man to the family budget. Partners for life, husbands and wives work in tandem to provide and nurture their children as they grow into productive citizens. If only...from my viewpoint, families who love and work with one another while thinking more of each other than they do themselves, are more likely to stay together.

As for my own life, I grew up to marry a good man and together we raised three sons. In adult life, I wore my own high heels into the real world, doing all the things my childhood games taught me. Except when I pushed my babies' strollers, I took them to day care centers or trusted sitters who cared for their daily needs. As a professional school teacher, I was fortunate enough to have time off during the year, spending every summer with my boys. An alternate balance to a working/stay-at-home mom, we played, laughed, argued, cried and learned a lot about life from each other. Their dad taught them how to love and care for a wife and family. Our story is still being written and lessons learned as we experience grandchildren in our lives today.

To all the moms and dads today, I pray for you to be all you can to your children. To those without children, love your spouse as your family. They are your partner and provider of your needs. Women, it's okay to lean on your husbands, it won't make you weak. There will be equal opportunity for your husbands to lean on you too. God gave us each other to help survive life on earth. As you have likely noticed, life is not a picnic. Be thankful for your husbands. Especially now that our children no longer live at home I look to my husband for confirmation of place in this house. He is the person I most look forward to seeing and talking to every single day. We care with love for each other and will continue to be family until the day we die.

The family unit should not to be taken lightly. As the years have gone by, all of my grandparents, Mom and Dad, a brother and sister-in-law, along with aunts and uncles have passed away from this life. Sometimes, thinking about my family and the way we could laugh at an inside joke or just be with each other so naturally, sends my spirits into depression, and I miss them so much. Then, I have only to see my sons with their wives and our grandchildren, Kim's brothers, sister, parents with their families to know I am not alone. Even though celebrations do not involve my own cousins or my surviving brother, sister-in-law or uncles and aunt often enough, I know that I still have a family. Families transition through deaths, births, and marriages causing the make up of the family to evolve in a continuum of familial relationships through future generations. Love them while you can, participate in their lives, tell them how important they are to you and never take them for granted.

To my husband: I love you, Kim Martin. Thank you for being my husband, loving father and example to our boys, my partner and friend in this never changing life. May we live to be 100 together continuing to walk hand in hand through whatever happens here on earth. Then, on that spectacular day, when we walk through heaven's gates, we will sing with the heavenly hosts and together with our family, sing, "Glory to God on the highest, peace and goodwill to all men"!

My Resolve in 2012

2012-01-13T22:03:00.000-06:00

My mind ran through many themes for a blog entry making it difficult deciding where to land on this first post of 2012. However, there was one reoccurringthought that kept revolving back to mind and it seemed destiny predicted Iwould write on life’s unknown. One day in January I was packing away Christmasornaments and I was struck with the realization that unknown things were goingto happen in the New Year. That is inevitable and a thing out of my control. Italso occurred to me that of the uncontrollable things happening that some wouldcause happiness and others would not. It is those unknown others that frightenand worry me the most about the next 12 months.

In 2011, the event that affected me more than any was theunexpected passing of my oldest brother, Johnny. The first of my siblings topass away after our parents, his death seemed to heighten my worrisome nature. Havinghip surgery back in October of 2010 and surviving months of recovery, Johnny wasfinally back on the job. Coworkers said of that dreadful day that he graspedhis chest, gasped his last breath and collapsed. The day was June 20 when my otherbrother called me in Sugar Land to tell me our brother was unconscious andparamedics had not been able to resuscitate him. Kim and I were in Sugar Land thatday to help our son, Kyle, pack his home and family for a move almost 400 milesaway. Kyle, wife, Amanda and our sweet granddaughter, Olivia were on their wayto live in Abilene. Personally, their move was the second most affective thing thathappened in my life in 2011. Taking a close third was our youngest son losing his teachingjob in Baytown, ending a 2-year teaching position in a junior high schooltheater class. All of those incidents left me wondering, as I placed green andgold tree ornaments in boxes, of what unsettling events would affect my life inthis New Year.

Unfortunately, my natural tendency is see the glass half empty. I’m working on it and attempting to learn from people who appear to see the glass half full. My brother's passing, while terribly sad, brought our family back together for a memorial. As these sorts of events draw relatives distanced by life's changes, we were able to remember Johnny's life and renew familial relationships. Kyle and Amanda have settled into their new jobs. While I still wish they lived closer to us, we reveled in a long visit with them and Olivia over the holidays here in our house. As for our youngest son, Ryan, he is working for a friend, content and perhaps glad he is not teaching school.

So, why must I anguish over things out of my control doingnothing to prevent the inevitable depressed wave of emotion? As the Father ofcreation, God knows his children. He knows me. He pleads for us to cast our eyes on thecross and the One who can guide us through the valleys of this life. In 2012 myresolve is to trust in God’s promises to prevent worry of the unknowns. There will likely be blessings as well as sadnessin 2012. My hope is in God with whom all things are possible.

As for me, I call toGod, and the LORD saves me: Psalm 55:16

Christmas Love

2011-11-30T07:35:00.001-06:00

Just the mention of one's mom and my mind's eye immediately sees your face and tears rise. How could it be that it has been eighteen years since we last talked? To simply say, I miss you would be an understatement. The hole in my chest has never healed, nor found matter to fill the void left that dreadful early morning looking on as you breathed your last.

Christmas with poinsettias will always remind me of you. A Christmas Eve anniversary for you and Dad, the red leaves were a symbol of your love for each other and a staple among our holiday decorations. The crimson potted plant sat on top of the TV cabinet or your sewing machine cabinet. Although, the sewing machine cabinet would not be its pedestal until company arrived, because you were likely sewing some dress or pair of pajamas for yourself, me or my boys. Your sewing machine now rests in one of my bedrooms. Your presence is felt as I stand near the machine, thinking of the many bridesmaid dresses, school clothes and pajamas you painstakingly stitched as the machine needle quickly plunged in and out of the fabric. The clickety-clack of the Singer lives in my mind and I see you seated in the little chair during late night and all day marathons diligently sewing as a special event approaches.

As this Christmas season wraps us in ribbon, toys, and the joys of being with family, I'm nostalgic with memories of you, apron clad, standing in our kitchen mixing up tasty pies and candies. No one could infuse as much joy and love in their baking as you did, especially during the Christmas season. Oh, to recreate those warm feelings of safety, love and acceptance I felt on chilly mornings in our kitchen, your eyes brimming with love for all of us, serving breakfast while baking pies and cakes for the holidays! Always busy, you embodied the woman of noble character.
Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all. - Proverbs 31

Dedicated to my mother, Louise Bernice Bond Ritchey b. 03/02/21, d. 05/04/93.

Falling Back

2011-11-05T10:15:00.000-05:00

As I think about falling back, the meaning that readily comes to mind is that this first Sunday of November most of the U. S. except Arizona, Hawaii and Navajo tribes will fall back to Standard time. It is a time the working class anticipates as they relish that extra hour of sleep. Although, as a Christian, our weak flesh has been caught up in temptations and I hear falling back as drifting backwards on promises made to remove harmful practices in my life. What comes to my mind is falling back into tempting habits once put away.

Matthew 26:41
Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.

We are imperfect. As much as we want to do right, live right and exercise a Christian example to others, our flesh is weak. In times of weakness, an old habit once put away, tempts me and I allow it back in my life. Today, as much as I regret yesterday, it is a blessing to know that I worship a merciful, forgiving God. A God who will pick me up when I fall back and hold me closer today. As we fall back, let us pray:

(Matthew 6:9-15)
Our Father in heaven,
hallowed be your name,
¹⁰ your kingdom come,
your will be done,
   on earth as it is in heaven.
¹¹ Give us today our daily bread.
¹² And forgive us our debts,
   as we also have forgiven our debtors.
¹³ And lead us not into temptation,^[a]
   but deliver us from the evil one.^[b]’    ¹⁴ For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.

Respectful Generations: Part 2

2011-10-22T15:14:00.000-05:00

Happily, the first grade students were coloring a heart outline red, but my teacher didn't approve of my haphazard red crayon strokes. She proceeded to pick up another student's heart to show how we should color in the same direction within the lines of the drawing. A little 6-year old's artistic inclinations squashed; I began to question my attempts. On another day, I made jewelery out of buttons and thread and brought them to school for "show and tell". Proudly, I displayed my creations on a desk near the front of the classroom. My peers seemed to like my jewelery and I felt happy. I don't recall if the teacher liked them. What is embedded in my memory is the swat on the bottom admonishing me for not going straight to my seat after lunch, when all I was doing was admiring my little button jewels on the table by the door.

Children and adults alike are so very different than they were in 1958. A teacher's pupils are not as apt to be coloring in the classroom or showcasing homemade jewelery during "show and tell" because in 2011 teachers find it hard to schedule such free time. The first grade teacher, while not as attentive to my feelings as she might have been, garnered our respect. My first inclination, with bruised feelings, was not to lash out at my teacher hurling accusations that she was mean. On the contrary, my thoughts were to do a better job of coloring in the lines and to obey her words, returning to my desk, without talking back. Since my retirement five years ago, my experience while substitute teaching, is that some children do not understand the meaning of talking back. Angry children wanting not to be disciplined, will continue to talk back when I've repeatedly told them not to talk back. A concept that has sadly gone away in the realm of parenting should in my opinion be taught to children today. Although, their parents would do good to learn the concept first.

Many children of economic letdown are too often left alone at home with disconnected fathers and mothers who did not learn the skill of good parenting. Their parents are tired from the business of keeping a job, working long hours, putting food on the table and if they have to, will steal to get it. The next generation of their families followed the example of their parents. Those are the people filling up our jails, teaching their children by example to disrespect authority. Teachers are no longer revered role models. They are an authority not to be taken seriously or to give a respectful ear to their heeding. The misguided minds of the children is wreaking havoc on their learning process. When students who do not understand academic concepts on a test, they rebel against taking the test and expect teachers to give them assistance. The children will pout, scowl, talk back and even walk out of the classroom because they are mad. They are angry because they didn't know how to learn their subjects and their parents didn't know how to help them. Now they are such a disruption in the classrooms, teachers must remove them in order to keep the rest of the class on task.

The two stories of contrasting decades. They do not say 1958 was better or worse than 2011. In some ways, the teachers of 1958 were not as forgiving and loving as they should have been. Their public reprimand or correction was not always the best way to deal with the situation. Although, many of the children knew a better way to take disappointment, correction, instruction without being rude or disrespectful to persons in authority. My point is blurry as to what exactly my message is in these stories. It is apparent that somewhere a ball was dropped and children for generations have suffered for the fumble. May heaven help us to correct our children in loving kindness and teach them Jesus' way of reacting to other people in this world. This should be our prayer and action for the future of our children and grandchildren to come.

Respectful Generations: Part 1

2011-10-21T13:23:00.003-05:00

On a cool breezy October day, a couple of six-year-old kids went out to play on the school playground with the rest of their first grade class. The little girl with her blond braids bouncing off her shoulders, walked obediently in the straight line like a toy soldier. The autumn breezes were reason to wear her navy blue sweater to school that day. Happily, she watched the student in front of her while the boy behind her laughed and flipped her braids the whole way out to the playground. The old school building's playground was across the street. The teacher watched carefully as each child moved to the other side of the road. The quiet street of the small town was unlikely to have many passing cars at 10:00 in the morning. Just in case though, the young teacher watched her brood like a mother duck leading her little ducklings to the pond.

Mary and John ran squealing with delight onto the playground as their classmates raced to the swings and slide. One by one, they climbed the tall ladder of the slide and swiftly glided to the bottom running around to ascend the ladder once again.

The leaves blew about the playground and John yelled, "Tag! You're it!" and punched Mary in her arm. Mary laughed and turned to chase John across the playground. Within moments, other friends joined in the game teasing Mary to tag them as they ran away with squeals of delight.

On one side of the playground stood an old two-story gray building used by the six grade students for band lessons. The tall gray structure made an excellent place to pull up behind hanging out to observe from a distance before rejoining the game. John was hiding behind the band building as Mary ran by. He reached out grabbing her navy blue sweater. Mary, laughed yelling "Tag!". Then, before running, John gave her cheek a brisk smack then ran so Mary would chase him again. Children of innocence, thinking nothing of the other one's kiss, ran squealing like piglets in a game of Tag.

As Mary, John and all their friends ran noisily past the teacher on the other side of the building, they heard the teacher blow her whistle. "Girls play with girls, boys play with boys. Now, go on!". Reluctantly, the boys and girls separated not understanding why the teacher broke up their play. They did not have to know their teacher's reasons, they only had to obey her directions.

Innocent children, running, chasing, yelling "Tag! You're it!" on a cool autumn day. As adults we still feel the cool breeze, but fail to recapture those carefree days when our play was innocent fun. Sometimes we don't remember the feeling of excitedly running so hard on a cold day that our lungs feel as though they will burst. Then, well-meaning adults for whatever reason, tells us to stop and the rules of life begin to fill our minds with negative ideas. The well adjusted child has a parent or guardian in their lives who lovingly explain the rules of life, obeying authority and the purposes of each. Sadly, some children grow up always taking orders, and never having a loving adult explain why there are rules. They never learn the good that can come from rules or the way to dispute a rule should they think it unfair. Those children grow up to be angry, bitter adults fighting authority in their school, at work and in life. They don't accept authority in a healthy manner. Their carefree days of childhood took place without parents who taught them how to cope in everyday life. They grew up to pass down their anger to their children.

Oh, What a Glorious Morning!

2011-10-21T11:34:00.002-05:00

The birds are barely singing this morning because they arelazily sleeping late. If not for the occasional chirp in the trees, one wouldnot know birds were on the scene. This crisp sunny autumn day illuminates mybackyard with a living glow. The green has begun to come back to the cheeks ofnature dried out by the summer drought. The clouds have spilled just enough H₂Oto wake up blades of grass and the leaves of bushes. Still, Earth cries for more like a hungry baby wanting itsmother's milk.

The summer heat wave sent most of us inside for therefrigerated air and caused us to swoon at the mere mention of workoutdoors. Today, however, isanother day and the cool breezes are beaconing all humans to come outside. While I desire to work outside the mellowsounds of the neighborhood are pushing me back to my chair to listen.

My two cat-kids, the older one female, the younger one male,are roaming outside amid the plants looking for an unaware lizard. I often findmyself on a rescue mission of mercy to some poor lizard captured and set downin the unfamiliar surroundings of my home. Homer, the male hunter-cat, enjoys agood safari when the weather out is so tempting. Capturing an unsuspecting preyis great sport to him and he enjoys sharing the fruits of the hunt with hisfemale counterpart, Baby. Although, one might think he kills his prey, it is myobservation that he simply watches the chameleons as entertainment. This morning, I glanced up from themonitor to observe both cats sitting, hunched down on the carpet, staringintently at the bathroom floor. It was in that moment I knew I had to do whathas become routine in these situations. It was time to catch and release theirlive toy back to the wilds of my backyard. So, with napkin in hand I picked upthe bewildered half green, half black reptile and set him free for another cathunt at another time.

The loveliness, that is a mid-morning in suburbia, isdelightful and carefree to those of us fortunate enough to be at home on aweekday where we can soak it in. One can sit and brush away the cares offinances, school loans, house maintenance and a laundry list of other suchconcerns including the household laundry. Silently, I type, read and sip coffeeas the moving breeze carries distant sounds from a nearby schoolyard to theopen patio door invading my statuary. Images of junior high boys suited intheir school-issued shorts on a football field dance across the screen of mymind. Quickly, I return to my writing ignoring the interruption of the outsideworld of reality.

Oh, that this glorious morning could forever continue to bemy days. Yet, it is not to be for soon I must be at the work of preparing useditems for sale, sweeping my house, washing my clothes, feeding the people andanimals that live here and finding my place in the outside workforce. Although,it is not with regret that I carry out my chores. I do them willingly because theyare the tasks God gave me for today. Although, for now, I will drink in anothersip of solitude like smooth chocolate sliding down my throat, warming theinner chill of brisk autumn mornings and I will be content in it.

Looking for Jobs in All the Wrong Places

2011-10-01T11:49:00.000-05:00

When the TRS counselor informed me four years ago that I had the magic numbers to retire, my heart leaped with joy. After many discussions with my husband, Kim, we both concluded that for this to work out financially, I would have to find another job to supplement my TRS pay. Little did I realize just how difficult that would be.

The first year of my retirement was the 2007-2008 school year. It was a sense of elated freedom washing over me the morning I observed cars hurriedly streaming down the road by my house the first day of school. My last three years of teaching was in our neighborhood school just three blocks from our house. Instead of running on pure adrenaline that Fall morning of 2007, I was sipping coffee and wondering what would be my next venture in this life.

The first year of my retirement would prove to be the best year I had spent in a long time, and since. My husband teaches theater arts on a 9th grade campus in a nearby town. It was a joy to join him at his school to stage a production of Our Town. My free time also allowed me to help Kim direct a play at the Baytown Little Theater. It was the previous summer of 2007 that a car crashed into our beloved theater facility. The crash caused major damage to the building and we had to move our production venue to a nearby church building. I painted set pieces, decorating chairs and backdrops with stenciling and created set decoration for Neil Simon's,The Good Doctor. The theater volunteer work was only part of what I had fun accomplishing that first year of retirement. My job search was for the most part non-existent.

The following year I soon had to go to work teaching reading tutorials twice a week back at the school I had worked before. It was pretty satisfying work and good pay for only 2 hours a week. Although, a little bit of pay, it was not near enough to supplement my TRS check. By the time the following school year came around, our budget was in dire need of supplements to bulk up bill-paying power.

The fall of 2008 I began working with the University of Houston, Clear Lake as an intern supervisor. I loved my work with the senior student teachers. My experience as a teacher in addition to my Master's Degree was finally paying off. The interns were a pleasure to work with as I observed their excited energy to become the best teachers they could. The two-course pay was a nice supplement to my TRS paycheck. I thought I could do this forever, not realizing the summers were going to tax our budget once again.

I'd never worked during the summer months in my life. The thought of working while Kim was off during the months we normally vacationed made me depressed. Mostly, I did nothing to find a summer job. I didn't want to work in the summer. The spring semester as the university supervisor met with university problems. Budget cuts within the university, resulted in the US course load to be cut back from 2 courses to one course. That pay cut was significant and I decided to try to work with the school district again. The substitute teaching jobs was sparse. I gave tests for the Gifted and Talented program which paid the best and I continue to test with that program whenever possible. However, Texas Retirement System rules make it almost impossible to work for two TRS institutes at one time. Tracking my work hours was tedious and stressful to say the least. The following fall semester of 2009 would be the last semester I worked for the university. If it had not been for testing GT students that spring, I might not have made much money at all.

Eventually, a friend suggested a tax preparation service she knew needed extra help for tax season. By January of 2009, I had a full time job working for a tax and financial service. The work environment was the perfect place for me. The all female staff immediately made me feel at home. My boss, a former school teacher, understood my work ethic and knew I was more than capable of the job at hand. Working with the clients, getting to know my coworkers that winter/spring was a joy. While it barely paid what was needed to supplement my TRS pay, I was happy to be working there. However, by the time tax season was closing, it appeared that the job would not be needed next season. Client involvement dropped significantly causing my position to disappear the next tax season and I was out of the perfect job.

Back to the job drawing board and I grew depressed by the bills piling up. Also, disheartening has been the lack of vacations we can take and the amount of general home improvements needed to our home. The summer and winter testing for GT students has helped my income along with a two month long term sub job last fall. However, as I pursued job possibilities, it became apparent to me that I was never going to get enough money to supplemental my TRS pay. Teachers may not make the salary of a good doctor or lawyer, but they sure make better than minimum wage.

Last February, the same friend who suggested that I work for the tax office, called me again. This time she wanted me to help her daughter with their family self storage business. There had been health problems in their family and the business ledgers were in need of updating. I was hired to work part time at minimum wage to help bring their bookkeeping up do to date. Making just enough money to buy weekly groceries, I was able to accomplish the immediate need in a couple of months. Initially a temporary position, I have now been working 8 months with the self storage business. The hours are great and my boss is very flexible about time off. The bad news is at only $8.00 an hour, the pay is not near enough for our needs and my friend is not in the position to pay more. Though the job is better than no job, and I certainly appreciate friends who look out for my job needs; I must once again search for permanent employment. My maturity as a responsible employee should aide the search, but not if an opportunity to interview doesn't come along.

It's my feeling that I'm going about this job hunt all wrong, but to tell the truth, I wish so much that I didn't need to work. My best days are the ones in which I don't have to show up at a job. My job of balancing out the books with the storage business has been pretty good. My favorite, the tax office job, was the best but unfortunately, played out. Teaching interns about being a school teacher allowed my professional experience and opinions to be put to the test. It made me feel like my 30 years had been for the purpose of sharing the fruits of my labor with others and I liked that feeling. Unfortunately, a change in department directors, in addition to budget cuts, caused this to be a less than perfect position for me. The GT testing for the school district is a very nice gig with good pay. I look forward to the self motivated work with the students. Unfortunately, it is a seasonal short-term job and can't supplement TRS enough to make a difference.

The daily prayer for my days is that God will lead me to His plan. That is, His perfect plan, for my husband and I with what we are supposed to be about. God, as Lord of all, knows where the perfect job is for me. The job is out there somewhere waiting for me to find it. Job hunting at this stage of life is a pain! I am praying that the next job will be satisfying and one that fixes our budget woes that will provide year-round income until my next retirement.

Part-time at $20.00 an hour would be great. I'm just saying!

Change? Of course!

2011-09-26T12:00:00.001-05:00

Ecclesiastes 3:1

There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens

The above Old Testament verse indicates change is inevitable. As human beings our physical and mental states will continue to evolve for all the years we are alive. There is nothing that can be done to stunt life's growth or change, save death.

As a 40-year-old woman, no change had been more jarring to my little world than the death of my mom. When my mother passed away, I felt like part of my body had been ripped out leaving an empty dark hole within my chest. Coping with that type of change to my life was more difficult than anything I had ever experienced up to that point in my life or since. When Dad passed away, grief stricken, but with relieved blessing I was glad that he was finally at rest from the misery that is Alzheimer's disease. My mind had mentally prepared for his passing. I was not going to be traumatized as I had been when Mama passed away. My desire was not to feel that much hurt again. Therefore, my prayers to God had been for Dad's deliverance from the bondage that dread disease had on all of his memories. My sweet daddy, the first male love of my life, the one to which all men would have to measure up, joined Mama five years after her death. Then, not many years later, my brother's wife, Cynthia, was diagnosed with cancer and passed away. She was a delight to be around, making everyone laugh and be happy. She was only a year or so older than me and I loved her so much. Change had been coming to my life all those 40-plus years I had lived. Yet I had not paid attention to what I'd seen of others passing from this world up to that point. It had not occurred to me how my life would be affected by death or how sad it would make me feel. My life paradigm began a significant shift.

Now, in my late fifties, another big change stunned my life last June when my oldest brother, Johnny, passed away at 68 years old. Saddened again by death, my childhood family has been reduced from two parents, plus three kids, to just my other brother, Richard, and me. Johnny was the oldest of the cousins and the first of us cousins to pass away. I suppose his death is what has prompted my thoughts about change lately. Of course, I knew this day was coming like death will come to us all. I had just not expected it to be so abrupt. All of my experiences with death had not prepared me for the abruptness of Johnny's death. The family members of my parent's generation are passing from this life, just as God has planned, and now it would seem my generation has started on the same passage from this world as well. My mother's brother, his wife, one of my dad's brothers and one of his sisters are all who remain of my parents' generation. Daddy's youngest sister, also has Alzheimer's disease and will likely be the next to leave this earth. Life changes like clouds adrift on a sky blue day.

Listening to an audio book by a Baptist minister, Don Piper, I heard him use a phrase to describe his life after a terrible auto accident, this would be my new normal. To have one sibling left, a handful of aunts and uncles and several more cousins, is my new normal on the family front. Another part of this new norm is the fact that my grown sons aren't going to live where I want them to live. Imagine that! Our middle son, his wife, and our almost 2 year old sweet Olivia, have moved a short 6-7 hours away with their feline pet, Pumpkin. They aren't so far away that we can't drive to see them in a day or they to see us. Modern technology allows us to use our cell phones to talk face to face with each other. Still, it rocked my world like a slight earthquake tremor when my son announced the move and our drive to their house would increase from 45 minutes to 6 hours without stops. It saddened my heart to think that our little Olivia would not be close to us and perhaps not remember who we were each time we saw her again. We were in Sugar Land helping them pack and ready that house for the move when I got my brother Richard's call that Johnny had suffered a massive heart attack in Beaumont. I will never forget the day Johnny died was June 20th, the day we were helping Kyle and Amanda move to Abilene with Olivia.Talk about my world being shifted and turned upside down in one day!

My cable network has CNN and I watch it. I realize I have a million and one blessings for which I should be and am thankful. The youngest of our three sons and his wife live right here in Baytown and our oldest son, his wife and their two adorable children live in a nearby town. With pleasure we get to see our two oldest grandchildren more often than when they once lived in far away Michigan. We've been to their dance recitals, swim meets, baseball games, plays and birthday parties. We've experienced watching the newest generation of Martins in Regan and Aidan as they perform on stage. I'm delighted every time our youngest son Ryan shows up unexpectedly at our back door. No matter what the reason, I smile when I hear his voice on the other end of a telephone call. It is God's blessings bestowed on us, undeserving as I am, that we are within at least a day's driving distance of all three of our sons' families. It is that new normal at this stage of my life to have grown children, grandchildren, and daughters-in-law in my family who are the joys of my life.

It is not my intention to slight the mention of a beautiful family I married into on a chilly December Saturday in 1974. My husband's family is one for whom I am eternally grateful. I love all of the Martins as if I had been raised alongside all of them my whole life. All of the holiday celebrations with the Martins are special. We sing, play games, laugh and I get to listen to the political minds of the Martins keeping fresh on current events. I love seeing Kim's parents at our church. We have celebrated JoAn and Kelly's anniversaries for the past 3 decades with this 2011 year being their 60th. The Martins are my family and I consider it a privilege to be a Martin.

My side of the family is dwindling for sure and it still makes me sad. There are no more Christmas gatherings with any member of the Ritchey's or Bonds any more, no birthday parties with grandparents or spur of the moment visits with my parents. The only times life finds the Ritcheys and Bonds still gathering on this earth is the occasional wedding or funeral such as the recent memorial service for my brother last June. My hope is to one day reunite all the Ritchey and Bond families for a happy family reunion. My prayer is that the reunion plans will be made and carried out before another change hits our families.

Drastic changes in my family over the past two decades has caused me to change the way I used to plan the weekends, holidays and even phone calls in the evenings. No longer do I think about driving one hour over to my hometown of Port Neches to surprise my parents on a Sunday morning. Gone are the excited happy plans of frantic Christmas present exchange with my cousins or birthday celebrations for my grandmother. Phone calls to Mom and Dad just to say "hello" are not even a bleep on the radar of my life anymore. All that is left of my life in Port Neches are memories, the cemetery holding my parents' last remains and a little wood-framed house on the corner of a meandering street corner, two blocks down from my old high school. To say I miss my family would be an understatement. Eighteen years past Mother's death and my heart still aches, yearns to be with my parents again, to have Johnny's large frame wrap his strong arms around me in a bear hug or hear the quick wit of my sister-in-law that kept us all laughing. Sometimes its overwhelming to consider, and I feel like I'm alone in the middle of a gigantic world.

Then, I shake my head back from my depression to the blessings God has left for me here and now. I am not alone when I still have a husband who is the love of my life. Kim has been my best friend and support during all those sad times of losing loved ones. Last summer as soon as I got word of Johnny's situation, Kim dropped everything and was helping me figure out the next plan. It was Kim, an in-law in my family, who volunteered to be in charge of Johnny's remains after the cremation. Though not without our share of hard times, our marriage has survived 36 years. I'm so blessed to have such a man as Kim to grow old with and trudge through the inevitable trials of this world. I thank God each night when I pray that He caused me to notice the skinny dark haired guy who walked into my choir class at ACC back in 1971. I am confident Kim will always be at my side to share life's burdens till God takes one of us home. Another paradigm shift one of us will have to deal with when the time comes.

Numbers 6:24-25

The LORD bless you
and keep you;
the LORD make his face shine on you
and be gracious to you

Be Patient...Change is Coming!

2011-09-25T22:38:00.000-05:00

Change is inevitable to just about any activity in which we choose to engage ourselves. At some point down the road, rules will change, layouts will change, the way we use a devise will update; I can hardly keep up with the latest iPhone/iPad out these days. Take for example the Facebook changes of late. People have reacted with outrage to Facebook making recent changes in the layout and the manner in which we interact with the site. Friends have voiced said displeasure in an overwhelming number of status updates of protest. What an inconvenience to have to learn a new way to read and post to Facebook! Really? It's free to use and we should be thrilled at the opportunity to save cell phone user minutes/dollars to keep updated with friends and family. If not for Facebook and Twitter too, we'd never know when old college buddies became grandparents or got a promotion at work or had retired. With the growing number of complaints about Facebook changes, I scoffed when I read a status update displaying disdain at such Facebook alterations. I even posted in essence for my FB friends to quit whining about Facebook and get over it. Not my exact wording but that's what I meant.

Then, after not posting to Blogger.com since early last July, I find my blog dashboard had been changed and I was at first a little...well...upset. I couldn't figure out how to post a new blog entry. It didn't look the same. Where were the tabs I was accustomed to seeing when I logged on? Where were all the features I'd grown comfortable using? Did I mention I couldn't post?! I couldn't even find my archive. Argggh! How dare they! Just as I was about to sink into despair, I noticed a rather prominent orange button with a pencil icon. Oh, do you suppose it will let me post to my blog? I clicked the obvious button and there it was, New Post. Next to the writing button, a list icon and a drop-down file. My archives! Ahhh, Happiness, home, comfort, satisfaction, contentment.

My disdain and unhappiness with the Blogger.com changes were much like those of my fellow Facebook friends. I'm no better and whined and complained when my little world took on an unexpected change. My fellow human beings, we are not creatures of change, but creatures of habit. Change is difficult. Change takes more thinking than we want to do today. Change is work! But wait...it didn't take all that long for me to catch on to the Facebook changes, and chances are within another week most of my Facebook friends won't even care about the changes to their home page. Furthermore, didn't I find the orange New Post button within a few page entries? It really wasn't all that difficult. So, why do we get so upset about change?

That, my social-networking, blogging, Tweeting friends is human nature. We are impatient, self-centered, imperfect people. Oh, that we all could learn to roll with the punches, bend with the wind and be flexible! As a public school teacher, my motto was Be Flexible. To the motto of my career, I would also add Be Patient.

Be Flexible-Be Patient!

Colossians 3:12

New International Version (NIV)

¹² Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.

What Are Your Thoughts on Singing?

2011-07-30T10:22:00.000-05:00

Our church worship leaders recently requested the thoughts of us (the members) in regard to singing and songs for an upcoming Wednesday night time of worship. We could choose one of their suggestions or make one of our own. I decided to answer all four of the Cloze-type queries and to share them on my blog. I hope you will relate to what I've written here. Perhaps what you read will conjure up some memories you have of singing in church. --ML

· The songs and singing that have meant a lot to me are…

hymns sang at a time when everyone in the place was of one thought and mind. At a Women of Faith conference where literally thousands of female voices lifted hands and voices to worship in one accord. At funerals where we all loved & mourned the life of one we would miss here on earth. After 911 when many of us gathered to sing and pray to God for strength. At the close of Abilene Christian University functions and now, family gatherings, when we all sing “The Lord Bless You and Keep You.”

· What I hope to hear is…

a joyful noise lifted up to heaven. So many times, I think we forget to be happy in our relationship with God. Our sins are many for sure, but Praise the Lord, we are saved through our savior Jesus Christ. Our songs should be joyful. I hope to hear joy in our voices as we sing songs of praise.

· My memories have a great deal to do with my favorite songs. Sometimes my mind travels to…

a church in Beaumont where we gathered one Sunday afternoon a month for a time of Gospel singing. There was always a full house on those Sunday afternoons where I witnessed so many other Christians lifting their voices in song. The song that I always hoped we’d sing was “Master the Tempest is Raging”. That one could lift the rafters and my young mind would picture a ship being tossed on a dark sea of waves in a terrible storm. Powerful words with the perfect music to accompany a strong message.

· If I could write the music and lyrics of a song, this is what I would want it to say…

(The tune to “Gilligan’s Island” oddly enough fits this meter. The words and tune I want to evoke happiness and joy.)

There is a new day coming,

We’ll sing a happy song.

There is a new day coming,

When we can do no wrong.

There is a new day coming,

When blue skies open wide,

There is a new day coming,

We’ll see Jesus eye to eye.

Praise God for all creation.

Praise God for Sun and Rain.

Praise God for food and water.

Praise God for Jesus’ name.

One day I’ll go to heaven.

One day I’ll see loved ones.

One day I’ll stand as one brand new.

One day I’ll be with You.

Embracing Today

2011-07-28T16:09:00.000-05:00


Christmas, 1970-something, my cousins, brothers and I in Port Neches with our grandmother

For all of the years I lived in Port Neches, Texas, and even for many years to follow, aunts, uncles, cousins, brothers, and my grandparents would all gather at my parent’s house for holidays. My mom’s parents, who lived a short drive away, celebrated with us every year. My dad's parents lived in Oklahoma and I have assumed all of these years it was because they just lived too far away to drive to Texas for the holidays. It might be safe to think that my grandparents just didn't drive very far across the Oklahoma border. We visited them about one time a year.

If the Abilene relatives drove down by Christmas Eve, mom and her sister would bake in the kitchen for the next day. The East Texas cousins would arrive on Christmas Day. While cooking and baking was going on in the kitchen, we kids would play games, the men watched football on TV, and at some point in the evening a domino game of Forty-Two would start up. What a great memory for me to remember the shouts of victory, explanations of why someone had lost or the laughter as a team caught up to the winners. Those happy sounds blended with delicious smells wafting from the kitchen, were a real joy to me as a child and a comforting memory to me as an adult.

All the beds in the house, plus sofa beds and pallets on the floor, were filled on Christmas Eve with family members. When us kids would wake up, we'd head straight for the Santa presents. I had to be careful not to reveal Santa’s true identity to my younger cousins. Mom explained the Santa thing sort of like this: "It’s fun to pretend there is a Santa Claus, but we are the ones that bring your presents." Mama felt she should not lie to us and so, I never "believed" in Santa as a real person. However, I sure believed in Christmas. I loved the decorated tree, the presents, the fun I had with my cousins and all the wonderful food my mom, aunts and grandmother would fix. Those were special times locked away forever in my memory.

Just thinking about all the scrumptious foods prepared at Christmas makes my mouth water. My aunts, grandmother along with Mama were experts at making fluffy white divinity candy so sweet that one piece was all you could eat. Mother's enticing pecan and coconut cream pies were a standard for the holidays. She baked ham, surgery yams, potato salad, baked beans, fruit salad, and hot soft rolls. Oftentimes, she also prepared turkey and dressing, in spite of having just served it on Thanksgiving. There was always enough food to feed "Cox's Army" as my mom would say. It all came so naturally for her to make Christmas a joyous time to be with family.

The last Christmas we celebrated in my childhood home, was 1992 before Mama passed away in May of 1993. Mom cooked her usual spread of Christmas food for all of us who gathered. We played games and laughed ourselves silly. However, mom was sick and was not to be with us for the next Christmas. She passed away in from cancer. That same year, my brothers and I learned that Daddy’s forgetfulness wasn’t just natural aging. He had Alzheimer’s disease. Christmas, 1992, closed the book on my childhood Christmas holidays. Even though I was an adult, as long as my parents were living, I still felt like a child. My dad passed away five years after Mom in September of 1998.

Even though I made attempts to continue my mom’s kind of Christmas with my brothers and sisters in law at our house, it never caught on. We all knew it was time to split up where we spent the holiday. Aunts and Uncles spent future holidays with my cousins' families. My brothers went with their wives' families and I with my husband's family at Christmas. Depression began to seep into my holidays as I mourned the passing of the Ritchey/Bond Christmas in Port Neches.

When Christmas with our three sons and their families come to our house, I anticipate a wonderful day shared with them, my husband, and three very fun grandchildren. With Mom’s recipes, I can prepare some of the tastes from my past and honor her, my grandmother and aunts. Traditions are perhaps a past generation’s idea. I am learning that it’s okay to let those traditions pass with their generation and not mourn their death over and over again. Our children and grandchildren will celebrate any occasion with their energetic youthful joy filling our home with laughter, songs and fun. So, I know it is better for me to dust off my Holiday Spirit and embrace the present generation through our children while fondly remembering my parents and days gone by.
(Embracing Today, originally written Dec., 2010)

Christmas, 2008, The Martins at our house in Baytown

Obituary

2011-07-02T10:50:00.000-05:00

I've never written an obituary, but it was a privilege to write this for Johnny. The obituary will appear in the Beaumont Enterprise next week without the photo. I was alarmed at how much adding a photo to an obit cost. Johnny didn't want the picture in the paper anyway. He was a good brother and I'm going to miss him a lot. - ML

Johnny Elton Ritchey, 68, of Beaumont, died June 20, 2011 at Memorial Hermann Baptist Hospital East.

Johnny “Big John” Ritchey was born January 24, 1943 in Ryan, OK, to the late Elton and Louise Ritchey from Port Neches. Following graduation from Port Neches-Groves High School in 1960, he attended Lamar University. He served in the United States Army from 1966 to 1972, serving much of that time in Japan.

Johnny was an employee of Richard Design Services, Inc. in Beaumont as a draftsman. He loved his pets and as an avid outdoorsman, enjoyed the shooting range, a deer lease or fishing hole better than any other place.

Johnny is preceded in death by his beloved wife, Cynthia Hayes Ritchey, and his parents. Survivors include his nephew, Charles Hunter of Austin; mother-in-law, Barbara Hayes, of Beaumont; one brother, Richard Lee Ritchey and wife, Melissa , of Kingwood; one sister, Mary Lou Martin and husband, Kim of Baytown; loving uncles, aunts, cousins, nephews and nieces.

A private memorial will be held on July 9, in Jasper, TX for family. Memorial gifts may be mailed to the Humane Society of Southeast Texas, P.O. Box 1629, Beaumont, TX 77704.

My Big Brother Johnny

2011-06-21T13:16:00.000-05:00

Johnny and me

My oldest brother, Johnny Elton Ritchey, was known to his friends as Big John. He was named after my dad's father, John R. Ritchey and our dad, Elton L. Ritchey. Mine and Kim's middle son, Kyle, also shares Johnny's middle name, "Elton". Born January 24, 1943, in Ryan, Oklahoma, Johnny passed away at the age of 68, on June 20, 2011, in Beaumont, Texas.

My Big Brother, standing a few inches over 6 feet tall and 10 years my senior, was truly a big brother. When I was around 4 years old, I remember him carrying me through high water in our garage to our house after Hurricane Audrey hit Port Neches. My mom had grown weary of the high school shelter and wrangling my 7 year old brother and me. Even though wind was still blowing and light rain was continuing to come down, the real danger had passed and Mama insisted we go back home. Our garage was full of water and too high for a little girl my size to walk through, so Johnny scooped me up in his arms, carrying me through the water to the safety of our house. I thought he was so brave because I heard my mama comment that there might be water snakes in the water.

On another occasion while living in that same house, Johnny and a buddy was taking high school physiology, decided that they would catch bullfrogs at the city park down by the Neches River. There they would use one of the barbecue pits in the park to boil the frogs and reconstruct the bones as part of a science fair project. Before they boiled any frogs though, Johnny decided his little brother and sister should get a chance to see the overgrown toads they had caught. To a 4 year old, it seemed very late at night when Johnny and Lewis showed up at our garage back door. Mama had already gone to the back door when my brother and I came in the kitchen to see what was going on. Just as Johnny opened the gunny sack with the frogs, one of the critters croaked loudly and leaped to its freedom. That thing hit the garage ceiling, coming down on top of our car taking another great leap high in the air, all while my mama was squealing at Johnny to catch the frog and take it back to the park. The details are sketchy, but that's how I remember it happening. All I know was that my big brother could catch bullfrogs late at night and he was sure a brave person to do such a thing.

Many times Johnny showed his love to me making me feel very special. One such occasion was when my aunt gave birth to my cousin, Craig. I was sitting by myself in the hospital waiting room because 9 year old kids were not allowed in the patient's room. When Johnny arrived to meet our new cousin, he saw me sitting alone and asked if I had money for the vending machines. After he learned I didn't have anything to spend, he emptied his pocket change into my hands and told me to buy a coke for myself. Some years later, when I was just turning 13 years old, Johnny gave me a bottle of White Shoulders perfume. That as the first real perfume I had ever owned. He often brought me a little gift, gave me a special ride in his dune buggy or just handed me pocket change for a coke. All of which made me feel like he thought he a had a very special little sister.

My perception of Johnny's bravery became real to me when at about 21 years of age, he was drafted into the United States Army at a time when our country was involved in the Vietnam war. Having been awarded a sizable scholarship to Lamar University after high school graduation, Johnny had fallen in love with a girl he wanted to marry. After months of trying to work part time, earn enough to support a wife who wanted much and go to school, he dropped out of college to work full time. It was then that the draft called his number and he began boot camp. After a time he was shipped to Japan. I remember feeling such relief when 80% of his platoon were deployed to Vietnam; while he was fortunately sent to Japan where he drove and worked with the wounded on a medic bus that received soldiers from the war zone to a Japanese hospital. To me, it took a lot of gumption and integrity to be a soldier and my big brother fit the bill. Unfortunately, after returning from the war to his wife, his young marriage ended in divorce. I recall how respectfully he approached my dad with the news and later with news of his marrying Cynthia. He wasn't sure how dad would take the divorce or his marrying again because of what the church taught about divorce and remarrying. But as soon as my family met and got to know Cynthia, we all knew she was meant to be in our family. When she suffered through an aggressive cancer in her 50's, which eventually took her life, I knew Johnny was in her life for a reason. As Johnny stayed by his love's side through her darkest hours, willing to do anything necessary, I now realize his ultimate act of bravery.

There are so many more stories that come to mind involving Johnny and me. It won't do them justice to write them here. I realize that my big brother was not a perfect man even though I could relay many times he was kindhearted, giving, caring and noble. Johnny realized his shortcomings better than any other person. There was a time when he lived a rough adult life almost to the ruin of another marriage. Although, Cynthia was put off by his heavy drinking at times, she loved him and would not divorce him. She was a God fearing Christian who made a lasting impression on Johnny's life. To her credit she would not insist or pressure Johnny to attend church with her either. He respected Cynthia's faith and after our mother's death, questioned Cynthia about God's love for sinners. In what was Cynthia's dying days and out of his love for her; Johnny took her to church one Sunday. That day he walked down the aisle during an alter call. Cynthia told of the outpouring of love shown to Johnny by the church members and what that act of kindness had meant to him. Cynthia also told me later that he even prayed with her at their dinner table. That meant so much to her. Several months ago, Johnny had hip surgery and their nephew, Chas, came to live 3 months with him to help care for him through his recovery. Chas lived a large portion of his growing up years with Johnny and Cynthia and regarded them as parents. As Johnny was recouperating he had the occasion to think and told Chas that he believed in Jesus Christ and that he would see Cynthia in heaven. I know all the angels rejoiced to hear those words and none more than Cynthia.

My big brother, Johnny, will be missed by many and especially by his little sister.

Psalm 119

2011-01-15T12:09:00.000-06:00

¹⁶⁹ May my cry come before you, LORD;
   give me understanding according to your word.
¹⁷⁰ May my supplication come before you;
   deliver me according to your promise.
¹⁷¹ May my lips overflow with praise,
   for you teach me your decrees.
¹⁷² May my tongue sing of your word,
   for all your commands are righteous.
¹⁷³ May your hand be ready to help me,
   for I have chosen your precepts.
¹⁷⁴ I long for your salvation, LORD,
   and your law gives me delight.
¹⁷⁵ Let me live that I may praise you,
   and may your laws sustain me.
¹⁷⁶ I have strayed like a lost sheep.
   Seek your servant,
   for I have not forgotten your commands.

Talking to God is such an intimate act. I was fortunate to have a loving earthly father that I see my God as a loving Father in heaven. He watches over me day and night, he loves me and doesn't want me to fall. I feel His rebuke when I walk the wrong path and also his loving embrace when I grieve my sin. This whole Psalm unfolds within my heart and soul what is constantly on my mind as I go through my day. Whether my actions are worthy of praise or not, this I know; I am saved through Jesus who died for me and nothing can separate me from that grace offered to me on that tragic day. God be praised for saving such a wretch as me!

Lord "let me live that I may praise you, and may your laws sustain me. I have strayed like a lost sheep. Seek your servant, for I have not forgotten your commands." Amen

Bygone Years

2011-01-06T20:49:00.000-06:00


Drayton Hall: The first settlement stands at Albemarle Point along the Ashley River, where Charles Towne Landing, a historic site, is located today. (Built between 1738 and 1742 near Charleston, SC)

A house standing empty of people, but not empty of their spirit. Drayton Hall was on our agenda to visit while vacationing in South Carolina recently. Built in the 18th century, it has seen much history and the land surrounding it, even more. The house was purchased in 1974 by the National Trust for Historic Preservation and remains in the same condition it was at the time of purchase except for repairs made to insure the safety of visitors to Drayton.

The history of a place such as Drayton is intriguing to me. This particular house and its 400+ acres has seen armies from the Revolutionary and Civil Wars. Troops were camped on the lawns during both wars with officers setting up headquarters within the house on more than one occasion. When other towns and cities all around Drayton Hall were being burned down, an outbreak of smallpox was the cause for the house to be under quarantine. For whatever reason, be it because of the outbreak of smallpox or other cause, Drayton Hall was spared and still stands today as an open history book for us to read.

If you are ever around Charleston, SC, with an interest in plantations, visit Drayton House. It will leave you in awe of how it has been preserved.

December 24, 1941

2010-12-24T10:33:00.003-06:00

On this day, 69 years ago, Elton (Jiggs) Ritchey and Louise Bond drove to Waurika, Oklahoma, near their hometown of Ryan, to be married by a Justice of the Peace. I've heard stories that my dad's brother didn't even know they were married until the next morning, which would have been Christmas Day. Now, these many years later, I sit at my computer remembering my beloved parents and how they would have enjoyed watching how our family has grown.

Every Christmas Eve my dad bought poinsettias for Mom on their anniversary. I'm not sure when that custom for them began, but I think I might have had something to do with it. If I thought Daddy was not going to get Mama an anniversary gift, I told him he had to buy her something. So, any gifts he once bought, evolved into the annual buying of the Christmas flowers. Mama planted them next to the house in their back yard where they continued to grow and bloom for a few years after each Christmas.

I have no memory of my parents ever celebrating their anniversaries other than by simply being with family on Christmas Eve. My uncles, aunts and cousins, accompanied by my mother's parents would often come on Christmas Eve. We would all tear into presents we exchanged with each other. Back then, no one drew names or worried over what to get for everyone. There were a lot of presents under our tree for everyone. Then, on Christmas Day, Santa Claus would leave his unwrapped gifts for us kids. Though I always knew Santa was my parents, and I was not allowed to tell my cousins, some years I wondered.

My brothers and I may have given our parents an anniversary gift sometimes, but I doubt it would have been every Christmas Eve. I do remember that we bought them an engraved silver platter for their 50th wedding anniversary. Why I thought they would want such a nonfunctional gift I don't know, but they made out like it was beautiful. They didn't want a big party and by then, Daddy was beginning to lose his memory. So, at their home in Port Neches, with engraved napkins, cake and punch, we celebrated the 50 years Louise and "Jiggs" Ritchey had spent together as husband and wife.

Every Christmas when red poinsettia start making their appearance in florist shops, I still think about my parents and their Christmas Eve wedding anniversary. Then, I miss them with a heavy heart and tears. I can still picture how Daddy would get such pleasure out of watching my sons play and be silly. In fact, he was as much a big kid as they were and often got down on the floor to play along with them. I can still see Mama's joy as she dressed my boys in pajamas she had lovingly sewn for them, or as she stood in the kitchen cooking all our favorite foods. It brought them both great joy to indulge their children and grandchildren for whom they loved dearly, with these acts of love.

Today, on this Christmas Eve, I am remembering Mama and Daddy, their lives and all the generations who followed their marriage on December 24, 1941.

Mama and Daddy, I miss you every day.
Happy Anniversary and Merry Christmas!

Improving My Technology Skills

2010-12-22T21:20:00.002-06:00

My natural talents do not lean toward the maths and sciences. Although, working with computers and smart phones is a little like figuring out puzzles and "I like". Completing challenging puzzles with definite solutions is very satisfying.

First, back in the late '80's, we purchased an Apple computer with the old green and black monitor screen with basic word processing and spreadsheet capabilities. Then, came email and it was only getting better. I used to think I would have no real need for a computer. Wow! Was I ever wrong! I sit at this computer practically all day! Please, now, don't judge. Ha!

Kim upgraded his iPhone for Christmas this year. Lucky me because I got his hand-me-down. I never thought I'd have a need for an iPhone, opting for a less expensive cell phone. Then, as the result of an online search, I discovered that an iTouch would do the things I wished my current cell phone can't do easily. So, when Kim told me that his old iPhone would be much like an iTouch. Hey! "That's a cool idea!", I thought.

Now, my initial thought was to use the iPhone like an iPod for my iTunes. My little Nano served its purpose quite nicely, but it was time for an upgrade. This used iPhone can hold all of my iTunes library with room to spare!

However, it didn't stop with iTunes and I began downloading apps to access Facebook, Twitter and email. What a revolution!

So, now I've upgraded my blog design and I'm enjoying a new email address that I can access with my used iPhone and I watch YouTube in bed. Ha! I'm liking this digital age, math and science skills aside; I think I'm doing pretty good with my new technology skills.

When I save up my dollars and cents the next move on this technological road will be to upgrade my Mac laptop and get my own NEW iPhone.

Christ Was Born On Christmas Day

2010-12-20T15:21:00.007-06:00

“We’re going to do something a little different” were the words spoken by a minister I was listening to online. Those words thrill me when I hear a preacher say them. Those words mean a preacher or other church leader is shaking things up a bit. Those seven words invite us as church practitioners to practice our craft. We stand up out of our comfort zones during a worship service to shake one another’s hands, pray with our neighbor, offer a word of encouragement to our fellow travelers along this journey of life and there in our midst, Christ is with us. What joy there is when we "do something a little different!"

A pastime I’ve grown to love is listening to some great church leaders online. Randy Frazee, Max Lucado, Rick Atchley & Phil Ware speak for congregations in San Antonio, Ft. Worth & Abilene, Texas. Since I live too far to drive to their congregations every Sunday morning, I have to rely on the Internet to bring me their messages each week. Strong messages about living a Christian life, listening to God, obeying His leading and recalling Bible stories like the one describing the night Jesus Christ, Immanuel, was born. That holy night when God came to earth and dwelt among us as one of us.

While so many Christians are concerned that greeting each other with “Happy Holidays” is taking Christ out of Christmas, I am concerned that many of my beloved brothers and sisters don’t put enough Christmas into this season. Its one of those quirks about growing up Church of Christ that I am glad to say appears to be fading away in most of our brotherhood. Though still, there are some traditionalists who think nothing of the Sunday before Christmas as anything special. Sunday worship usually continues as if nothing different was happening outside the walls of the building in December.

Last Saturday, our family Christmas gathering was held at our house with our three sons, their wives and children. My mother and father in law were also here and we had a grand time laughing, singing and enjoying the Christmas cheer of the season. A special activity I wanted all of the family to share was to attend church on Sunday morning in the congregation in which our sons had grown up. To have all three boys and families in one place at the same time are rare and for that gathering to be at church was almost extinct! So, I was anxious for them to visit this particular day because I was certain there would be no special reference to Christmas. True to what I thought, that was the case, save a single carol, “Hark the Herald Angels Sing”, which was sung first before all by kids and boys arrived to hear it. (With that many getting ready for church in the same house, they were a little late.) Our family loves to sing and we do a decent job of it, so it was somewhat disappointing that we didn’t sing more seasonal songs of Christ’s birth. However, the most disappointing part was the message delivered by a visiting missionary who preached on fearing God. “Fear God!” should have been, “Christ is born in a manger, let us worship and adore him! Glory to God in the highest!”

Advent, anticipation of the Christ’s birth, should be part of our traditions. We don’t have to know the exact date of Christ’s birth to celebrate and since the rest of the free world has chosen December 25^th as that day, why do we not join them?

Many Churches of Christ have already joined the majority of Christians in celebrating Christ’s birth at this time of year. My Internet worship is evidence of that fact. Many of their pastors talk on Sunday mornings before Christmas about that holy night and the days leading up to the host of angels singing. So many Churches of Christ has long ago become followers of Advent for the entire month of December. Perhaps one day the place where I have worshiped for 35 years will also move toward Bethlehem with anticipation of Christ’s birth at this time of year in a more corporate worship manner.

Parties are nice and fun, but usually focus more on Santa and not as much on Jesus' birthday. Santa, as my mother used to tell me, is a fun character to read about in pretend stories, but we need to remember he is not real. Jesus is real. A real baby, our Savior, was born in a stable to a virgin those many, many years ago in Bethlehem. My prayer is that soon all will come and adore him as Christ, the Savior during the Christmas season.

Christmas Blessings

2010-12-11T23:19:00.005-06:00

This Christmas I have felt a happiness that had left me for many years during this season of joy. Maybe it is because we have 3 wonderful grandchildren who will be coming to our house this year along with our 3 sons and their wives. The house is decorated with Christmas stockings, Santas, snowmen and two Christmas trees. Christmas shopping is done and the gifts are almost wrapped to put under our Christmas tree. I even purchased a Fisher Price Nativity action toy for the kids to play with and a storybook with its beautiful illustrations entitled, “The Christmas Baby”.

Christmas music has been playing since December 1st. I've added to my library of holiday music with purchases of one new album (Straight No Chaser is fantastic!) and some singles from iTunes all under the genre of Christmas. I love Christmas music; it is so happy and cheerful. How can anyone be blue when listening to the Muppets sing “Little Saint Nick”?

This year’s Christmas picture card are four snapshots of us two, the 3 boys, wives, and grandkids. Not a group photograph, but separate pictures of the 11 of us. Our family has grown into a fun group of people whom I love very much. I'm very excited about spending some quality time with all of them this holiday.

Already this season Kim and I have been to a nice festive Christmas parade, church services, concerts, and the play A Christmas Carol at the Alley theater; we even got to see our grandson in his Christmas program at school. I have also read some about Advent and the anticipation of Christ’s birth this year. The church I grew up in did not join most of the world in the belief that Christmas is a time to celebrate Christ’s birth. There were normally no poinsettias decorating the front of the auditorium. Although there was the year Kim and I were married on Dec. 21, a Saturday night, in my church building, and I'm sure the flowers were still there the next morning for Sunday services. Even though, I didn’t grow up with Advent as a religious observance, it has been a satisfying education to read about the practice of Advent. It is something I hope to observe more in future Christmas seasons.

Early next week I have the opportunity to help in the distribution of food to those families finding themselves in the position of needing assistance from the church and community. As I put food into grocery bags and give it to those families, I will thank God for all He has provided to my family and me. “There, but for the grace of God go I”.

May this holiday season find you in good health and with people you love.

Merry Christmas!

Season of Advent

2010-11-30T21:29:00.011-06:00

Growing up in the Church of Christ, it was not our custom to celebrate Christmas as the birth of Jesus. I was taught that we celebrate Jesus' birth every Sunday, which of course we do. We were also taught that no one knows the date of Jesus’ birth, also true. Both of the former excuses were given as reason why we "do not celebrate Christmas" as Jesus' birth. Our secular focus was more on the traditional round-bellied jolly fellow in the red suit. Not to knock St. Nick, who was by the way a real person of the 3rd century; but why did our elders prefer our belief in the jolly ole elf at Christmastime, over celebrating Jesus’ birth?

Fortunately, things are changing in Churches of Christ and we no longer ignore the holiday as a time to celebrate Jesus' birthday. Though still a bit hesitate to proclaim the holiday of Jesus birth as much as our other Christian friends do, we hear more teaching about baby Jesus at Christmas.

This year the practice of Advent, the 25 days leading up to the birth of our Savior, and the manner in which most of the Christian world prepares for Christmas Day, has a bit of intrigue for me. It would seem that we, as Christians, should prepare ourselves for Christmas day and the celebration of Christ’s birth. For Christians, to us a child is born and Jesus birth is reason enough for joyful celebration.

As the result of past childhood lessons, it has only been in the past decade or so that I felt justified to join believers in telling The Birth Story at Christmas. As our three sons were growing up, we often mentioned Santa Claus and asked them what they wanted Santa to bring them for Christmas. Not intending to discount the Christ child’s birth, Jesus being born in a manger wasn’t the foremost story of the season. The likeness of Santa with his fluffy white beard and red cap, hung on our front door to greet our delighted children. The holiday wreath that adorns our door during more recent Christmas seasons is more for decoration than a spiritual meaning of something eternal or Advent. Until recently, I didn’t understand the meaning of the emblems. The purple, pink and white candles lit each week of Advent, burning inside evergreen twigs, twisted together as a wreath, are for the purpose of preparing Christians for the coming of Christ.

Therefore, for the next 25 days, I plan to observe Advent with prayer, reading of scriptures and lighting of candles to set my focus on baby Jesus who came in peace to save the world from its sin. Joy to the world, the Lord has come!

Thinking On the Positive

2010-11-27T09:26:00.005-06:00

Positive. I want to write a positive post this morning. This coming year my thoughts and words need to be more positive than in past years. My blessings are numerous and I need to give God praise and thanksgiving for all that He has provided to my family this year.

Kim was diagnosed with lymphoma at the beginning of 2010. He is now cancer free. Though there are a few health related issues with which he deals, still he is well. What better blessing could I ask for? A year ago, in 2009, we were blessed once again with a beautiful grandchild. Olivia was born on Kim's birthday, Nov. 16. Kim will forever share that day of celebration with his granddaughter. What joy we all felt that night at the hospital as our son, Kyle, rushed out into the waiting room to share his good news of Olivia's arrival! Kyle had such a look of happiness like none I had ever seen on his face before.

Our other two sons live nearby. We are so blessed to get to see our children often. Jason and his family are near enough that we can be with our oldest two grandchildren often and know their own unique personalities. Aidan and Regan are growing up and are so smart. It brings us much joy to be with them and listen to them talk and share the many things they are learning every day. Ryan and Amy live here in the same town. They have become involved in the community theater here where they both bring joy to audiences as they share their talents. We are blessed to be able to share in Ryan's life as he has embarked on the difficult task of educating middle school children.

This past Thanksgiving holiday, I was blessed to be able to see an uncle and aunt of mine with whom I spent many holidays in years past. They are nearing 80 years old and even though they have had some health problems, were looking good to me on the day. What a blessing for me indeed that I had that opportunity to talk with my mother's younger brother. I must do that more often in 2011.

No negative complaining or whining in my post this day for I have much to praise God for as I ponder my many blessings. Its easier than we think it is to count our blessings. That old habit of thinking on the negative has to change and I pray God can make that happen in 2011. God is good!

Just Like Riding a Bike

2010-09-17T21:48:00.004-05:00

Yesterday I went back into the classroom after being retired for 3 years. It isn't permanent, just a long term sub job. After only 2 days, I find that it feels strangely natural. For one thing the school where I am teaching is the same architectural layout as the building where I taught my last 3 years. In fact I finished my teaching career in 3rd and this sub job is in 3rd. I am in the same hallway in the current school as I was in my old school building. Therefore, except for the school colors, I feel as if I am right back in the same school building.

I'm not going to say that I am thrilled to be back teaching. AFter all, I retired for a reason. It's a hard, tiring job to teach school. Standing on my feet all day, with a rare minute of quiet, I come home worn out just like I did those last years I taught. The students in this class for the most part are very sweet children. They follow the rules with few exceptions. They ones who mind outnumber the ones that push the envelope. Its not a bad gig, but like I said, I'm beat. Definitely feel the years in this body, especially in my feet and legs. Ouch!

This current sub job is one that I feel confident in doing. My first teaching position after college came one hardly a month after our wedding. This December, Kim and I will be married 36 years. I retired with 30 years of experience which doesn't count the 2 years I substitute taught while staying home with the boys for 2 years. When you work at a job that long, its what you know well enough to walk in to just about any teaching situation and pull it off fairly well with little preparation. However, it still doesn't make it any more desirable at this stage in my life.

My long term job will only last for 8 weeks and I am sure I will be glad when it is over. However, I am glad to have the chance to earn some money doing what I was trained to do best.

Going back to teaching full-time in a classroom after 3 years off is like riding a bike. And we all know that you just don't forget how to ride.

Hi! My Name is Sissy

2010-08-31T15:22:00.006-05:00

Growing Old is Not for Sissies. You have likely heard this phrase before. That short statement resonates more meaning for me as fifty waves goodbye and sixty is seen up ahead. There is nothing silver coated or fur lined about passing the 55+ mark of life. The physical aspect alone is certainly not for sissies. Even fifty-something bullies beg for mercy when faced with the needle sticking, pill popping, early morning aches and pains our age has morphed us into. Though I'm thankful to even be walking, breathing and talking with some sibilance of sanity, it is clear to me that growing old really isn't for sissies.

All of those years of not sticking to my diet, has left me with little self control to eat healthy. Consequently, my body has grown comfortable and relaxed sitting 40 pounds heavier than my target weight. Alright, not so comfortable. Truth is my knees buckle under the added weight and anti-inflammatory medication now shares space with other over-the-hill drugs on my bathroom shelf. Wishing I'd climbed onto the health train a lot sooner, any energy I once had to exercise and eat right has unfortunately lost steam. There was a time aerobics classes was part of my weekly schedule. Now there is a Yoga book for people 50+ in years sitting on my bookshelf waiting to be perused. Seeking less strenuous forms of exercise that won't send my knees into permanent lock-down, Yoga seems to be the path to take.

In addition retirement is not for sissies either. Retirement is the oasis of growing old, tiny umbrellas in cocktails and all. We think we are going to do whatever we want, vacation, spend more time with friends and go to the Bahamas. Unfortunately, after the income is cut in half and the bills are not, those cocktails taste pretty bitter while the Bahamas becomes a fictional land far, far away. Having worked one profession for 35 years, searching for a part time job has now cut into my full time retirement. Nope, retirement is not for sissies either.

I wish I had great words of wisdom and answers to this plight, but I don't. Many jobs exist, though not in my field nor do I possess the qualifications needed. There are jobs I could take if I'm willing to stand on my aching feet 8 hours a day stocking shelves and pricing underwear, some evenings and weekends for an hourly wage. Office jobs available to me are either seasonal or pay below minimum wage. That's a big gulp after earning a master's degree and working 35 years in a professional career for a salary.

And to think, my mom used to nickname me "Sissy". *Sigh!* I'm just saying!

Back to School...NOT

2010-08-19T18:08:00.003-05:00

Here we are again at the beginning of the school year. I am not decorating my living room in Fall Leaves or school buses. I am not putting out 22 school boxes and filling each with crayons, glue or scissors. I will not write 22 names on 3 pocket folders each, 2 spiral notebooks each and 5 different grade lists. I am not making name tags or desk tags. I have Kim, Homer and Baby’s names pretty much solid in my memory bank. I will not sit in faculty meetings sipping my coffee, while doodling with the new sharpie pens and notepads the office staff put on our tables nor will I nibble the free chocolates scattered about to keep us awake. I will not be the leader of 5 other teachers who likely will be unhappy with me when I have to call a team meeting. I will not put posters on my kitchen walls listing the “consequences” for not following the 5 basic rules of behavior. I will not be inhaling my lunch in only 20 min. in order to meet a group of 22 wiggling, screaming 3rd graders only to realize when I do that I forgot to use the restroom. I will not be running off worksheets for Kim to work on in his “free time” nor will I give him a list of books he can read and take AR tests on his computer. I will not fill my desk trays with nurse passes, office passes, restroom passes nor absentee slips. I will not grade Kim or any other person’s work in my house. I will not laugh on Monday when the cars picking up students at my former school are lined up all the way to my house.

I will write notes to my friends through email and Facebook. I will spend time writing the church news for members to read each Sunday. I will write the theater newsletter and learn to use the theater's new online communications system. I will write on my personal blog at least once a month. I will go to the restroom at any time of the day I want to. I will read at least one book that is not instruction or self help and just for fun. I will try to be a better person, which is part of the Travis Elem. Code. I will work when I want and stop at a decent hour. I will get at least 7 hours of sleep a night. I will volunteer when the need is present. I will watch TV any time of the day I wish (HGTV IS ON ALL DAY). I will sing when I feel like singing. I will smile at a student walking home from my former place of employment.

Its not much, but its the least I can do to help get this school year off to a better start! :-D

Marriage and the AARP

2010-08-04T10:23:00.007-05:00

This morning I noticed our AARP (American Association of Retired Persons) magazine on the counter and a handsome Dennis Quaid caught my eye. Inside a dreamy-eyed Hugh Grant smiled for his 50th birthday photo. The over 50 crowd is just as handsome as ever. Though I smiled as I glanced at the two lovelies, the real reason I picked up the magazine was to read an article about, 8 Signs Your Marriage is Healthy (or not).

Another particularly handsome over 50 male is my own, Kim Martin. We've been together for 38 years as a couple, 35 of those years in marriage. Our marriage is very seasoned and comfortable but not without room for improvement. So, naturally, the article piqued my interest. What I learned is that our marriage is healthy and normal for as long as we have been together. Those long periods of silence between us as we type on our computers (or in Kim's case, his iPhone) are not to be taken as a sign of marriage deterioration. Though I've wondered in the past if those periods of quiet during meals or riding in a car were not a sign of complacency, the article offered credible advice (the author is a 38 year vet of relationships research) to the contrary.

My conclusion after reading the article, Fighting the 40-Year Itch, is that our marriage is stronger than ever. Today we have a deeper relationship supported by knowing glances and looks of understanding. We have a knowledge of how the other will react to certain life situations one only learns after years of attention to the details of a relationship. Names of affection naturally punctuate our spoken words to each other. We take care of each other, discuss budgets, love our precious grandchildren and still enjoy activities together.

We don't have to say, "I love you", but we do. When we hug in the kitchen or simply pat the other in bed after an exhausting day, those three words can still be as comforting as they were 35 years ago. As Tevya says to Golda, "it doesn't change a thing, but after 25 years (35 years), it's nice to know".

Thank you Kim for growing old with me. I love you!

From 50 to 60 in just 10 Years

2010-08-02T22:19:00.005-05:00

Since early June, Kim and I have been involved in another BLT (Baytown Little Theater) summer musical, My Fair Lady. Against my better judgment I went to the auditions and since Kim was bound to work on the show, I joined him on the play. Now I say "against my better judgment" because I know my body and that it has been feeling not only my age, but my weight. "Yikes!" my feet and knees scream.

Kim was cast in the role of Henry Higgins which is the male lead. My part is "chorus". Eh, its not much, but in some shows a bigger part than in other shows. For me, My Fair Lady has been that "other" show. As enjoyable as singing and acting is for me, the dancing part, not so much. Just the other side of 50 years old...okay, several miles passed the tracks...I can't dance without hearing those cries from my feet and legs. Having just completed the opening weekend of the play, my feet and legs are yelling in pain at me.

Learning all of those Henry Higgins' lines was a challenge for Kim. The character not only speaks with an English accent, the wordy phrases are said in such a way that only the English would say. He, and I, have labored over his lines as he worked to memorize songs and words. Once an easier task, now "just the other side of 50 years old", he has found this activity not as pleasurable as it was before.

Simply aging is not difficult. Keeping our aging bodies in good condition is very difficult for some of us. Activities we do after we turn 50 has become more of a chore than they were before. Even though most of us have learned that exercise and healthy diets are beneficial to our aging bodies, I find that many of us don't get serious about our exercise and diet until we hurt.

After opening weekend of the play where really did enjoy dancing in shoes my feet were not accustomed to wearing, and on floors with no cushion whatsoever, my legs really hurt. It is not going to be as much fun the second weekend of the play if my legs do not recover from that workout. Exercise? Now too late, I wish I'd kept up with exercise.

Whereas my leg muscles have rebelled against my dancing, Kim's brain has benefited from the mental workout he gave it. All of his hard work memorizing lines of Professor Higgins probably built his brain power. Makes one wonder if in our high technological age of short Twitter and Facebook posts, email and abbreviated phone texting, are not doing our brains more harm than good. Kim's memorization was a real brain workout for sure.

Have I learned anything from this experience? Sure, of course I did! Follow my first instinct and don't do this again!!! Ha! not really. What I've learned is that I need to be more diligent to eat healthier, lose weight and exercise so my legs won't freak out with physical activity. Will I be in another summer musical? Probably. Will Kim be in another play? It is highly likely he will, though I would doubt it will be as a lead character. Although, I have to tell you readers, he was a fantastic Professor Higgins!

My high school class just celebrated our 40th Reunion. In two years we will be part of the 60 group. Where has the time gone? My time on this earth is narrowing down and if I want these years to be more pleasure and less misery, I need to listen to my body and help it out. My feet and legs have got to be shut up, they are screaming way too much these days.

Since 2007

2010-07-23T14:48:00.003-05:00

It has been 3 years since I retired from full-time teaching. When it was brought to my attention by TRS (Texas Retirement System) four years ago that I qualified for retirement with full benefits, I leaped at the chance to get out of the classroom. Working since graduation in 1974, I had grown weary of the progressive demands being put upon classroom instructors. After retiring, I realizing our household budget could not support a drastic cut in income. Therefore, I vowed to find a job, even full-time, to supplement my TRS paycheck. Also, substitute teaching would not be an option. I was finished with that line of work or so I thought at the time. Here it is 2010 and though I have worked various jobs, over the course of these three years, none of the positions have been long-term. Most were related to teaching with some even as a substitute teacher. None, however, has paid what as needed to supplement our budget over the course of a year. Thus, our monthly budget has taken a hard hit since 2007. In particular, the summer months have proven difficult since most positions I worked were in the familiar background of education.

In as much as I had promised to find work after retirement, that first year I could do nothing more than simply drink in the fresh air outside of the school building. It filled my lungs with a liberated air like none I’d ever breathed before! There was a whole world of activity outside of a school building where teachers rarely have opportunity to venture. One such activity was to assist my theater active husband. It bought joy into my life to be able to search and fetch play props, or gather costumes for his students. During days when the teaching world was cooped up in a building, I could drive to various stores or stay home and create. This satisfied the art side of my brain and filled an inner creative passion within my soul. Unfortunately, none of those activities provided a salary. My happiness overshadowed the growing need to supplement my monthly TRS check being deposited in our account. After that first year it became my duty to seek ways to make good on my promises. Finding a paying job was to become my full-time task.

Marketing of my talents is something I have not learned well. After working in the schools from tutor to tester and teaching at times in-between, I find it difficult to focus on my skills and talents outside the realm of education. Swallowing one’s pride and marketing one’s self as a viable commodity is not my forte. Therefore, since the field of education is where I have most experience, those are the types of jobs I have had over these past 3 years. An additional problem, as I have already pointed out, is education jobs do not pay during the summer months.

Last tax season I thought my luck had taken a turn when the perfect job opened. A good friend and fellow educator put me on to a position in a tax office as an assistant. The tax season came and went with only the slightest challenge to my intellect and skills. It was a most enjoyable climate and workplace, but it was to play out as the tax season came to an end. Once again the summer months have come with no paychecks to deposit.

As much as I wish I didn’t have to, I find myself searching the classifieds again, hoping for the perfect position. An occasional lead on a job piques my interest only to find out Spanish is preferred or the pay is too little. Just yesterday though I read an ad for a Parent – Teacher Involvement specialist. Identified families with babies under school age are the target subjects. Salaries not from an institute paying into TRS, would help me maintain my retirement status, possibly making this just the job for me. Although somewhat in the field of education, the position also markets as a service to families in need. I like the idea of helping others as my Christian duty. It also has the potential to be a full-time permanent position. So, this morning I brushed up my resume, wrote a cover letter and sent it in an email to the hiring committee for their consideration. Perhaps they will grant an interview to me.

For some retirees, such as myself, work after retirement is not simply a means to pass the time of the long days. Rather it is of necessity that I be gainfully employed. After all, I was not actually of retirement age in 2007. Not only should I still be part of the workforce, there has surfaced another personal need. From time to time, a need to serve some greater purpose in this world oozes forth; I feel as lazy as a lizard when all around me people are making contributions to society. An inner need to make a difference wells up within me and I wonder what God’s plan is for me now. Am I missing something that will not simply benefit our budget, but more importantly, benefit another human being? God will reveal his plan for me, of that I am certain. My prayer is that when He does, any lack of confidence in my abilities won’t blind me to His will.

Blog: Phase Two

2010-07-17T23:58:00.004-05:00

New blog: new look, new name, new mindset.

Instead of completely shutting down the blog, I decided to simply revamp. The new design is quite calming, in my opinion. New templates made that possible. Thank you, Blogspot.

Just what will be the theme of my writings? I thought about how my sons are grown up and really don't need me...much...hardly ever. Retiring in 2007 from teaching school left me without a full time job, but still searching for the perfect post career position. Once again on the job search is to say the least, humbling. Thirty-six years of adult life experiences should account for something. Right? Therefore, if there is a theme for this new blog, it might be "My view of the present while looking ahead".

Although my posts may be few and far between, this blog has officially reopened for readers. Your viewing is appreciated and your comments encouraged. Consider this your invitation to visit my blog often and don't get your feelings hurt by what you read or take my opinions too seriously. I'm just saying!

All Things Come to an End

2010-05-03T21:47:00.004-05:00

This is the 250th entry to ML's Musings. It will also be my last. The oldest entry to this blog is in March, 2005. At that time in my life, I was completing the second year teaching 3rd grade, our youngest son was getting married and our oldest son and wife were giving birth to a baby girl. The writing served to give me an outlet to have my time. My time to write my thoughts about whatever was on my mind. My posts have ranged from poems to song lyrics, my family to my cats, thoughts on marriages, births and retirement.

Why am I closing the blog? It could be said that my drive to write has diminished. Facebook, email, and Twitter have taken over my writing time. Yes, I know its a social network and not composition. True, but I enjoy the Facebook, and email so much because it keeps my friendships active.

ML's Musings had its place and I'm so glad I was able to write. Sometimes I got myself in trouble by writing things some folks at church did not approve of, but other times I was able to put into words some memories of loved ones who are gone or write about my family.

One of these days, I may start a new blog. There are no plans at the time, but keep your eyes on my Facebook in case I do start a new blog. ML's Musings will be officially taken down at the end of May.

Thank you to my friends who read my blog. Good-bye!

Out of Sync Part Two

2010-05-01T10:31:00.002-05:00

Recently, my job with a local tax office finished as April 15 came to a close. Those seasonal jobs while good for the pay are not meant to last. So,for these post-tax season days, I have been around the house, trying to find something to do with myself. Although,there is more than enough work around my house and yard to keep me busy 12 hours a day for months, its not what I want to do. My heart just isn’t in it, but it will be eventually.I just have to find my rhythm. The thought of rearranging garage sale items in my garage doesn’t excite me right now.Nor does the task of cleaning out our files, the closets and deciding what to keep or trash attractive to me. I have however, had a desire to work out in my yard to cut back the winter weeds and clear off the patio. That would make me very happy, very sore, but happy.

Next week I have an interview with an office temp agency. Professional apparel is required piling an added pressure on to the whole job equation. Shopping for clothes is not fun for me. I can’t just look for the cute clothes,but I have to really watch the price tag. I fret over the one perfect outfit out of a large number of outfits. Generally speaking, people do not enjoy shopping with me therefore I normally shop alone.

Money issues just frustrate me so much! We have had bills forever like all families do, but I would love to see black $0.00 at the end of the month in the "balance box" on statements. Knowing the bills are more than what we bring home, just makes me sick. There is a guilty feeling on my part because I retired from a well paying teaching job too early. Hindsight really is 20/20 and I see clearly now that I should not have ever retired. Although, I try to tell myself it was best for me at the time and I have to accept it. I realize that I tend to stress too much. My small world is out of sync and in need of balance. It’ll come because I am praying to God that it will. He will care for me as he always has and I just have to let go and let God.

Out of Sync Part One

2010-04-30T17:57:00.004-05:00

This morning I exchanged colored napkins for a wedding shower that didn’t match the “watermelon” theme. To be honest, even I could see that the hot pink napkins I chose was not working with the pretty shades of red print chosen to use on the tables. Yesterday I had to exchange the cups bought for the same occasion. I particularly wanted the clear glass-like plastic cups for the shower and not the opaque ones used for picnics. Not the ones bought for the shower. So, I thanked the person who had bought them and as I received the opaque cups, told myself it didn’t matter. Nonetheless, after spending too much time in the customer service line at Wal-Mart, to traipse back through the aisles of the large department store only to find out they in fact didn’t carry a clear plastic cup, was more than I could stand at that time. Therefore, I left with the refund cash in hand and the smug confidence that I would locate the perfect clear cup.

Making subsequent stops at Target, Hobby Lobby and the party store at the mall, I thought I was going to have to repurchase the original opaque cups I had returned. Why was I so obsessed? Problem is when you know that the less desired cups cost was only $5.00 for 100 cups; it makes spending $15.00 for 100 a strain.

Tired from all the walking in and out of stores, my next stop was Kroger’s to do grocery shopping. Much to my surprise and pleasure, there on the shelf of Kroger’s were clear plastic cups, in 50 count packages for only $1.00 more than the opaque cups. Joy! Also, to add icing to the cake, the cups were the perfect 16-ounce size.

Why do we let insignificant things like napkin colors and clear or opaque cups bother us? Things that are not in sync really bother me and they shouldn’t.

Life is Never Simple

2010-04-30T13:26:00.004-05:00

Life is never simple. As much as we'd like for it to be with all the technology available to help, it still isn't easy. In fact, the more we invest in technology, the less use interact with humans face to face. You read the right, but before you get upset, let me explain. It is not that I think the hi-speed Internet or fast texting will replace humans, but it doesn't allow us to linger.

This morning I listened to a sermon/talk by a preacher in San Antonio, speaking on our fast paced lives. His speech was connected to a real-life addiction of this preacher. He was addicted to adrenaline. The chemical produced by the adrenal gland that causes heart rate to speed up and energies to heighten. We often experience a sudden adrenaline rush when we encounter high emotional moments of life. This preacher confessed his first burst of true adrenaline rush was in college when he made a 4.0 on his grade report for the semester. It felt good and the remaining semesters he worked as hard as possible to attain the same 4.0. He was a driven man to keep doing better and better. As he married, became a minister for one of the largest churches in the Arlington area and started a family, his work drive did not let up.

After a long time of keeping up an inhuman pace, keep late hours at night working and early morning breakfast dates, his drive hit a wall. He began to stress, he didn't sleep for a month before visiting a doctor and he was in deep depression and trouble. His visit to a doctor taught him that he was a workaholic, a person driven by the adrenaline rush he got from successful work. He was tired though and in dire need of sleep. He was ready to do what he had to in order to get some sleep. The doctor prescribed a sleep mediation and advice to set limits. He needed to go home after work and rest, relate and sleep. Not work. After finding his rhythm in the evenings, he found that he enjoyed is neighbors, his family and was much more relaxed. The preacher reported that it took around 2 years for him to be able to relax, but now he is a much happier person.

When we hear that someone has an addiction, we don't normally think about additions like preacher's. We then to think more about addictions to smoking, alcohol, drugs and gambling. Those are addictions that are more in view of others. This addiction to work too much, push our bodies past it's warnings to slow down, and ignore our spouse's pleas to just be with the family is a real addiction. The younger a person is, the less he or she thinks about their addiction to work, but as we age, the warnings come out in how our body reacts to the fast paced schedules we force on ourselves.

Fortunately, that is not my addiction. Of course, a bit more drive in my life would help me get some work done around here. Instead I'm addicted to other stimulus. There are drinks, foods, and times of sheer laziness that affect my life when I am stressed or blue. Overcoming an addiction takes dedication. Action, perseverance, and prayer is what it takes. Lots of prayer!

Growing older and diet

2010-04-26T20:12:00.003-05:00

The thing about aging is that the body and mind goes through changes. I no longer get to eat like I used to. My stomach reacts violently to spicy foods. There goes pizza, spaghetti sauce, fried shrimp, cake frosting (yes I know pure sugar, but yummy!), bananas, and other beverages and foods I used to enjoy. Notice all the commercials for stomach antacids, sleep aides, and antidepressants? That's because the baby boomer aged people who are now needing all the help they can get. And I have to admit, I've taken all those meds since turning 50. Now that I'm closer to 60 than I am to 50, I don't take them as much anymore. I am learning to eat healthier and live with less stress. Getting out of my career in education of 30 years helped, but also self educating myself did to healthier ways of eating has helped too.

Pure Joy

2010-04-10T22:14:00.004-05:00

Sounds of laughing children, Saturday morning cartoons and Capri Sun juice pouches were once again in our house this weekend. My grandchildren are at a really fun age. At 7 and 5 years old, they are old enough to understand jokes, play a game of Uno (and win!) watch a movie all the way through and enjoy a good storybook at the end of the day.

Jason brought Aidan and Regan over to spend the night with us so he and Kari could work on Saturday. They've had a very busy work and school schedule lately. Like so many young families, they are trying to juggle their kid's activities with their own.

We've been there done that, only not with as much energy. I worked on my master's degree after I'd taught school for 13 years and my boys were old enough to care for themselves after school. I think this generation works very hard to keep up with their lifestyle. Fortunately, the dads are helping and the moms are not left to work all day just like their husbands and come home to do the regular evening routine alone. The dads and moms are taking mutual responsibility for family routines.

My grandchildren are so much fun and they play and laugh with the happiness all children should have. What a beautiful blessing God has given to us!

Spring Has Sprung

2010-04-03T09:19:00.002-05:00

There was a time when Easter meant new Sunday outfits, Easter baskets laden with goodies, dying hard-boiled eggs and grooming the backyard for egg- hunts. Lately, however, it seems those days are gone as my family goes their own way for the holidays. One of these Easters I want to have them all here for church and Sunday lunch. Maybe next year will be a good time.

Fortunately for us, we get to be with our oldest son and his family for Easter lunch. The kids will be excited about their Easter goodies and treats. It'll be fun to be with them for a while. I can't believe how big Jason's two children are getting. I turn around and Regan has grown inches since the last time I saw her and Aidan has lost several teeth as most 7 year olds tend to do. Today we get to attend Regan's 5th birthday party. She is so ready for kindergarten and has been for at least a year now. Ha, what a smart little cookie she is! Five years ago, Kim and I went to an Astro's baseball game and had a picture of our baby Regan taken just minutes after her birth. She was born in Michigan, too far away to be on hand at the hospital for the delivery. We are very blessed that they now live close enough that we can participate in their life events like birthday parties.

Spring is here in full bloom and my yard is living proof. Not that it is blooming with beautiful flowers like several of my neighbor's yards. On the contrary, its bursting with foliage of every type, grass in the plant beds, overgrown bushes, weeds, dandelions...etc. You get the picture. It's overgrown to the max. Kim finally was able to be home long enough to mow the yard and luckily, we didn't find any lost children or puppies in that high grass. Good thing!

Just this morning we observed a huge black woodpecker with a beautiful red plume on his head, pecking at bugs on one of our trees. He was down low and working all around the trunk of the tree. Kim managed to get a few good pictures of him before he flew off for bugs in other trees.

Indeed, its Springtime. There is a lot of yard work to do and if I'm to help my neighbors in what appears to be a beautification project of yards on our street, we need to find time to at least clean out the plant beds. But not today, we have a birthday party to attend for one of our all-time favorite little 5 year old girls. Happy Birthday, Regan!

Spring Fever and Sick Yard Woes

2010-03-21T22:11:00.005-05:00

It's March and time for Spring. So where is it? This past weekend has been cold, windy with enough rain that made Saturday just flat unpleasant to be outdoors.

My backyard is in desperate need of a total make over. I talking the need for heavy machinery and muscle. Both of which I am unfortunately lacking. Browsing through old photos from 2006, I came across a lovely pre-hurricane photo of my backyard. It's so sad that we lost such wonderful large trees and plants that made this a green pretty yard at one time.

Today the two trees in the picture are gone. In fact the one behind the birdbath was dead and I hired a couple of guys last fall to take it down. They didn't have the proper tools (or the know-how) for the huge job. Even though the tree is down, the ugly stump is left and some of plants at its base were smashed. The so-called "tree-men" also didn't have a tool to cut a level slice off the top of the stump and left it a jagged eyesore. In the background, the other tree also had those tuffs of pale green tall "monkey grass" plants. They came up and out with the tree. In its place was a huge hole which we filled in with some sand and topsoil. Weeds have grown over it, the circular area is still slightly sunken in from the hole.

Even though the hurricane messed up the yard by taking out my beautiful trees, our other problems are because we're just not good yard people. The plants along the back fence are overgrown and surrounded with weeds making it overwhelming to even begin the clean up. I need a work crew to come in and clean it out, but it would cost a fortune to have that done. So, its me and my little tools on the job.

When winter finally ends and the sun comes out again, I'll hit the backyard and try to clean it up. It takes me twice as long to work in the yard as most any man or yard crew because I'm short, out of shape and have problems with arthritis. It's just plain hard work that I have a very difficult time doing. What I picture in my mind and what I can actually accomplish are two totally different things.

Maybe before too long, I can get out there and at least get started. I think I'm going to have to buy some new plants. The freeze we had this winter also killed a lot of the vegetation in the back yard. So I'm prepared to just weed, clean out and throw a lot of brown, dead stuff away.
Flowers would be nice too.

Come on Spring! Bring it on, I'm ready!

Journey interrupted

2010-03-01T00:12:00.005-06:00

After 57 years, there have been a lot changes along life's journey. That is an understatement, but true, nonetheless. Change is happening every second of every day and there is nothing we can do to alter that fact. Some days or weeks may seem to go by without a lot of alternate planning. However, just when we get comfortable, settled in our little habitat, feeling good about where we are, content with where the road is leading; it happens. We hit a bump. Right there in the middle of the road, positioned smack dab in the way, a bump jolts us off track. The change of plans must be dealt with in order to get back to our journey.

This time our change happened when Kim had some medical exams. He had a routine check-up a couple of weeks back. The kind that's a hassle to schedule, but you do and hope that it doesn't take long because you have play rehearsal and a symphony board meeting and really don't have the time, but you need to do it. That kind. Initial doctor's report as Kim came out of anesthesia were good. Doctor saw a little something in the EGD. She sent a sample to pathology, but otherwise all appeared good. Back on the path and Kim would go to see the doctor again in a week for the other tests report. A week passes by and Kim returns to his doctor.

The doctor said the pathologist reported lymphoma in part of his stomach. What? Lymphoma? Cancer. I read the report for myself as Kim proceeded to tell me that his doctor had already called MD Anderson Cancer Center in Houston for him to go in and talk to their doctors. MD Anderson? That's sort of big isn't it? Change was insisting that we yield. We both took off work to go to MDA in two days.

We drove into Houston expecting to talk to doctors and see what they thought Kim should do next. Kim registered, had rights read to him, signed permissions for treatment, studies and his next of kin. A nurse assigned just to Kim explained that a team of personnel, especially assigned to him, would be talking to us. A social worker/counselor gave her card to Kim and explained that she could help with questions the doctors may not know. A cancer studies person came in and asked Kim if he would give permission to be included in studies since MD Anderson is a research hospital. Then, the doctor's assistant, a very capable Asian man not much older than our oldest son, came in to explain what had been reported to them about Kim. Finally, Kim's doctor, who looked all of 25 years old, came in and talked in a most professional, knowledgeable manner. She explained that there were 45 different types of lymphoma and that a very large amount of Americans were living with it now. It has a high success rate of cure.

The doctor also explained that further tests would help them see if they agreed with the initial tests prognosis. We would speak to a scheduler who would go over the times and dates for the tests. Then, the doctor told us to take a break, have lunch and then come back. Come back? We thought we were just talking today. Come back? Oh, did I mention that Kim had only planned on a half day substitute for his class? Now it was apparent that he would have to call his school and tell them to keep the sub all day. We were told not to plan on half days. Change was standing its ground and not budging a bit.

So, we had lunch and came back. Then, we met with the scheduler who already had Kim's itinerary of tests printed out for him with special instructions for some of them. Kim's nurse told him to wait to be called back for his blood test. Tests already? After that, he was given another place to go for a chest x-ray. Really? Another test? That was the first day. A day full of change and surprise, but one that was very informational. We felt that our veer off what we thought was the route for the day, was worth the detour to learn that Kim was in good hands at MDA.

Over the next two days Kim had 3 more tests run. He has 3 tests this week also. Everything has really moved fast. This Thursday, a week from the day we learned about lymphoma, we will hear the test results from Kim's doctor. I am fervently praying the change won't be too drastic. That we will be able to navigate whatever detour comes along with minimal inconvenience.

Life is like that isn't it? Detours, bumps in the road, changes like roadblocks, can not be avoided. We learn to adjust, take alternative paths and pray the new route will soon have us back on our journey.

Please keep Kim in your prayers this week as he continues tests and awaits the results. Pray that the changes for Kim and me will be easy to navigate with God as our protector.

Did You Survive Christmas?

2009-12-27T15:15:00.004-06:00

How was your Christmas? As you might surmise from this picture, mine was pretty good. My granddaughter, Regan, was really into Christmas presents this year. At 4 years old, she was old enough to anticipate the holiday, with all the same excitement her older brother, Aidan, has had for the past couple of years now. We may not always be as blessed with good fortune, but for this Christmas, we were blessed and unworthy of all God has provided.

What was your initial response to my question? Well, I survived! If so, what made it simply one in which you survived as if coming through a bad storm? Were there too many people at your celebration as you "suffered" though the noise of all the relatives talking? Did all the shopping, cleaning up, decorating and wrapping presents cause you anxiety and stress? Did you fret over the presents you were giving this year? Were you ready for the relatives to just leave so you could enjoy peace and quiet?

Whatever your answer to the questions posed here, let me offer an alternate answer to my question, How was your Christmas?

This year my health was better than it has been in many years. This year I have a job. This year I can sleep knowing I am in a safe place. This year, I was happy to be with people I love. This year we were blessed to afford to give something to others. This year I slept in a warm bed instead of outside on a cold piece of cardboard. This year I got to see my grandchildren. This year my husband and I got to see a church Christmas program staring our grandchildren. This year we got to see our youngest granddaughter in the same room with her great-great- aunt. This year a son unable to be with us, called to say Merry Christmas! This year our sons still say I love you Mom and Dad, and mean it. This year I do not have to worry where my children are.

Blessings for no reason have befallen us all and we need to take notice. God has given us boundless mercy and gifts beyond our dreams no matter how big or small. Look at the messy house after the family leaves, the dirty dishes in the sink, the larger than normal trash on the curb and the pictures taken around the Christmas tree and think, I am blessed!

How was our Christmas? Blessed beyond what we deserve.
Thank you God, for sending your son in the form of a baby some 2010 years ago. We didn't deserve it then and we don't deserve it now, but we're eternally grateful. Amen.

BLT presents "You're A Good Man, Charlie Brown"

2009-12-22T11:53:00.003-06:00

Bring the whole family to see “You’re a Good Man, Charlie Brown”!

Reservations are being taken at this time for the Baytown Little Theater special, You’re a Good Man, Charlie Brown. The musical based on the Charles Shultz Peanuts cartoon characters, was written by Clark Gesner and is directed by John Morales. Come join Charlie Brown and all the gang for a fun evening at the BLT. The whole cast is comprised of BLT veteran actors that you will not want to miss. So, call 281-424-7617 today for reservations or go online to baytown.littletheater.org to order your tickets directly from the website. When calling the BLT phone, please leave your name, phone number, the date you wish to attend and the number of tickets you wish to order. A return call will be made as soon as possible. Please have a major credit card ready to pay for your tickets. Box office personnel will check messages daily, except for Sundays and Dec. 24 & 25, from now through January 10, 2010.

A Special New Year’s Eve performance and party will open the production on December 31 at 9:00 p.m. In addition to the performance, a catered meal, champagne and party favors will compliment the New Year’s Eve celebration. Audience members have fun ringing in the New Year with the cast and crew of “You’re a Good Man, Charlie Brown”. The ticket price for this special event is $50.00 per ticket.

Other show dates are Jan. 2, 8 & 9 at 8:00 p.m. and Jan. 3 & 10 at 2:30 p.m. Ticket prices for these performances are $15.00. All tickets much be paid for in advance of the show. Please have a major credit card available. If you wish to pay by cash or check, arrangements can be made upon request.

You will want to bring the whole family to this special BLT production. Go to baytown.littletheater.org and order your tickets today or call 281-424-7617 NOW!!!

CAST:
Charlie Brown—Kim Martin
Lucy—Julie Bailey
Snoopy—Wally Whitley
Sally—Tammy Calaway
Linus—John Brokaw
Schroeder—John Meiners

Baytown Little Theater location:
4328 Hugh Echols Blvd.
Baytown, TX 77521

Christmas Present

2009-12-01T20:23:00.008-06:00

It is cold outside and raining down through the fall leaves. It must be almost Christmas in Southeast Texas. This is the weather that puts us in the spirit of the season. We got to enjoy white flakes of snow falling from the clouds last week. That was special, but after living in this region all of my life, I'll put my snow boots away for at least another year. Though rare, what a blessing it was for so many children and adults in this region, to experience even the little snow that stuck, for the first time ever in their lives!

The fireplace has already been blazing more this year than it does most Winters. Hallmark has been cranking out Christmas movies everyday. The stories with a moral message and happy endings inspire us to be a better person. I have watched many versions of the Ebenezer Scrooge character learning he has been a fool all of his life, hording his money and passing on true love. However, there is more to the message here than simply allowing life to happen all around while you squander yours. Scrooge, as revealed by the ghost of Christmas past, is a product of a father who was put in prison because he was too poor to pay his debts. As the father was lead off to prison he shouted back to young Ebenezer to hold on to his gold, to make his fortune. Not wanting to risk the same fate of his father, separating a family and dying penniless, Scrooge worked, head down, through long hours and missing out on blessings that could have been his. As Scrooge's life progressed he remembered his father's words and held on to every cent he earned, using only what was needed to keep him alive. While all around him, he was filling his life bank with empty promises, wasted opportunities with family and lost love, Scrooge grew oblivious to Christmas Present.

The Season may make some people melancholy as it does me. We begin to think about Christmas Past, lament over what Christmas Future will bring and forget to rejoice in Christmas Present. Many of us have loved ones that are gone who once shared the Christmas holiday with us laughing, exchanging presents and reveling in the joy of our siblings, cousins, parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles. Now, it seems, we have to remind ourselves to leave the happy days of Christmas Past in the past. It may be a task to get the Christmas ornaments out, decorate for the holidays and plan Christmas parties. As I commence to do those things in preparation for my own family and friends to come to my holiday gatherings, I have to remember this is Christmas Present. Whether all three sons are here with us or only two, whether any of my own siblings join us or none, whether its the first Christmas with a loved one or the last; this is Christmas Present. All regrets of Christmas Past must be put away, fears of Christmas Future will vanish and only our happiness for Christmas Present will remain.

My life has been blessed over and over by good fortune; a loyal husband, three wonderful sons who share homes with Christian wives and my darling three grandchildren, all in good health. The fact that my basic needs are met each and every day, makes my life as rich as Scrooge. May God grant me the wisdom to not hoard my wealth, but share what I have with those who surround me now in Christmas Present. As Tiny Tim so rightly proclaimed, "And God bless us, everyone!"

...that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven
and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue confess that
Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.
-- Philippians 2:10-11

Holidays

2009-11-28T17:51:00.004-06:00

Holidays are here once again and reflections of times past inevitably come to mind. This Thanksgiving was spent with our middle child, Kyle and his wife, Amanda and their 10-day old baby daughter, Olivia. It was a special time because we rarely get the opportunity to have time alone to visit with just he and his wife. With no other family around, I was privileged to hold my new granddaughter as much as I wanted. She slept in my arms, wiggled around in my lap and looked up at my face. Sweet memories in the making! Perhaps one of these days when we are old and Olivia is visiting her grandparents, we’ll all remember with fondness, this first Thanksgiving just after her birth. Okay...we will remember and tell her all about how much we loved being together with she and her parents.

In a month we will celebrate the birth of another infant, Baby Jesus, whose mother also held her memories as dear. This year our three sons, their wives and our 3 grandchildren will be with us on Christmas Day. With a new infant in our family this year, the Christmas season will be extra special as we make memories together. My heart is full and I too treasure all the special times we all spend together.

‘Tis the season to be merry!

Luke 2:19-21

But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart.

A Grandchild is Born

2009-11-19T00:17:00.004-06:00

This is my newest granddaughter. Tiny, beautiful and all of 6 pounds and 1 ounce. She is perfect in every way! Of course, I'm bias! That's what a grandmother is suppose to be, forever bias.

Birth is a miracle I continue to be surprised and amazed at no matter how many babies are born. There she is, eyes open taking in all the new that she sees and hears. So alert and responsive, with all her bodily functions functioning as well as anybody else's, maybe better. She appears to recognize her mother's voice and she looks at her daddy like she already knows him.

Olivia Kathryn Martin made her debut at 9:51 p.m. on November 16, 2009. Her granddad, Big Daddy, (Kim) was especially happy that she was born on his birthday. Now that's a great birthday present!

My heart is full of joy for this wonderful blessing brought into our lives. Olivia is joining two families who will love her forever.

Seasons of Change and Life

2009-11-14T08:44:00.004-06:00

It is autumn and leaves are falling, temps are cooling and a new granddaughter is waiting on her special cloud to make her earthly debut.

What a blessing to be alive to see my grandchildren born into this world. Joining our two grandchildren, Aidan and Regan, will be their new cousin, Olivia. I am anticipating what this fragile, dainty little girl will be like as she grows up with Kyle and Amanda. Taking after her parents, she is sure to be a happy child with a fun-loving spirit to enjoy life. As she attends Sunday school with all the many babies being born into their church family, I pray she will grow to know and love God, the Father and Jesus, his son.

Like Regan, she is likely to enjoy all things pink and girlie. Her other grandmother Kathy has used her decorating talents to help Amanda create a sweet garden of pastel flowers and butterfly motifs. Little Olivia will surely spend many joyful hours playing, laughing and slumbering in her very own bedroom. What a fortunate child!

After Monday, Olivia Kathryn Martin will start learning about her new world. It will be her first day of training for a lifetime of growth. Please pray with her parents, grandparents and family that she will grow up to be a lovely, Christian woman. If she is anything like her mother, I know she will.

May God go with Amanda and Kyle as they venture into this new world of parenthood. May God bless them with wisdom, patience and kindness as they guide and nurture this new life entrusted to them on earth. God go with them. Through Jesus, I pray this to Him. Amen.

Autumn Memories of Love

2009-11-02T09:50:00.004-06:00

When I was a little girl in elementary school, my mom would pick me up from school for lunch the day after I'd been sick. I always thought that was standard procedure for recovering kids with fever and a cough, until I had a few more years on me. Then, it occurred to me that my sweet, nurturing mom was simply showing her love.

It was Fall or maybe Winter in my small Texas town and I had been sick. Nothing more than a croup, which was a bad cough and fever, but a temperature had kept me home from school for a few days. On this cool crisp day, my mom picked me up from my second grade class at Woodcrest Elementary School to go back home in the middle of the day for lunch. The house was quieter than normal since my brothers were not home. Because my dad was a shift worker at a refinery, he may or may not have been at home in the middle of the day. What I remember most was it was just Mama and me in our cozy little kitchen as the faint sound of refinery whistles blew for the noon hour.

On this particular day, returning to school, mom had dressed me to stay warm. Not only did I wear warm socks with my shoes, but also corduroy pants under my dress to keep my legs warm and a cotton undergarment covering my chest. I didn't wear knit stocking caps, but on windy cool days, Mother made me wear a scarf on my head tied under my chin. As I recall the scarves were a heavier material with a printed pattern of some sort. Mom was always sure to cover my ears from the wind. Even now, the image of her tying it around my head and patting my ears comes to mind.

The smell of my warm house filled my senses as we came inside out of the chilly air. After taking off my coat and scarf, mom directed me to the kitchen table. She prepared my favorite food for a sick day, scrambled egg sandwiches. Hmmm, yum! On this particular day, as a special treat, Mom had cut off the crusts and wrote my initials with food coloring and a toothpick on each of the 4 triangular sandwiches. I don't remember what else I might have had with that modest lunch. I just remember the special sandwiches. What a treat had been prepared by my mom just for me. What a blessed little girl!

Somewhere in my memory of similar days off from school, are cardboard puzzles, big thick coloring books and a box of 64 Crayolas. There was also a green hardback book filled with Sunday School stories called Bible Stories for Little Folk by Edna B. Rowe, Revision copyright, 1947. I am fortunate to still have that book today along with another one titled, Marian's Favorite Bible Stories by Marian M. Schoolland, copyright, 1958. Both are books I loved to look through as a child. Even though I didn't care much for reading, the books' pictures would captivate me and I'd pour over each one taking note of the artist's depiction of the story. In the green Bible Stories book, my favorite picture was one of the Good Samaritan or as the book titled it, The Good Neighbor. There was something about the way the good stranger in the picture held the wounded man's head up to give him water that caught my attention. Later, as an adult, I noticed the same individual Bible stories from that book were being handed out to children at church as their take-home lesson. I was glad they were still being used, although, I'm sure they have been finally retired by now.

Memories from my childhood have been replaying on this quiet Autumn day. I look forward to crisp brown leaves, smells of burning wood and the occasional refinery whistle at noon. On these days, I am transported back to braids in my blond hair, dresses with sashes tied in back, black Mary Jane shoes and of course, a scarf on my head.

My childhood was a simple, no frills existence full of the love my parents exhibited to me through scrambled egg sandwiches, Bible Story books and coming home in the middle of the day for lunch. By God's grace, my childhood memories are happy ones.

Some children, unfortunately, won't have happy memories. It brings sorrow to my heart to hear news of child abuse, children starving in third world countries or right here in this country. Many children grow up too fast, facing trials not meant for anyone and often times brought on by their parents. Another favorite picture in my Bible Stories book that brings warm feelings of love, shows Jesus with children sitting all around him and on his lap. The soft touch of the Lord, the loving Cherub-like faces on the children, has long been a comfort as I recall Jesus' words.

Suffer the little children to come unto me, and forbid them not;
for of such is the kingdom of God." (Mark 10:13-16)

We were those children at one time. Jesus calls to us to remember. Having been blessed with the love of good parents, it is not hard for me to understand Jesus' love. That is not so easy for some children today or even for some adults who grew up in abusive or hard life situations. Today my prayers will be for the children and adults who have not known the love of a caring parent. I'll ask Jesus to wrap his loving arms around them and touch them in a loving way not felt before. May God go with them all the way, for of such is the kingdom of God.

A Hymn of Prayer

2009-09-23T23:15:00.003-05:00

Dear Lord and Father of mankind, forgive our foolish ways. Reclothe us in our rightful mind, In purer lives They service find, In deeper rev'rence praise.

In simple trust like theirs who heard, Beside the Syrian sea, The gracious calling of the Lord, Let us, like them, without a word, Rise up and follow thee.

O Sabbath rest by Galilee, O calm of hills above, Where Jesus knelt to share with thee The silence of eternity, Interpreted by love!

Drop they still dews of quietness, Till all our strivings cease; Take from our souls the strain and stress, and Let our ordered lives confess The beauty of they peace.

Amen.

Words: John G. Whittier (w. 1872)

New LIfe, God's Miracle

2009-09-02T22:09:00.007-05:00

In the midst of a typical evening at home, watching TV, eating dinner, cleaning the kitchen, time on the computer with friends...there she was. Attached to an email sent by our son, Kyle, was the first real picture of our next granddaughter, Olivia Kathryn Martin. We can see her face, and her developing small frame. As my husband pointed out, we can't call her "Peanut" anymore. She is a real, living breathing person. It just boggles my brain every time I think about women carrying life inside of our bodies. As a mother, I am still awestruck by God's miracle of life. Only our God in heaven could create this amazing reproduction of life.

Here she is. Olivia! Beautiful, perfect, little creature of God's creation and she gets to be part of our family on earth. How privileged I feel. Why God thought Aidan and Regan and now Olivia should be in our family and part of our lives, I don't now. What I do know is I am so grateful for our granchildren. It has been such a joy to observe Aidan and Regan grow, learn and develop their own uniqueness. Soon we will be allowed to do the same with our unborn grandaughter. What an honor for us!

We are all looking forward with baited breath for November to meet Olivia, our third granddaughter. Her parents, Kyle and Amanda, are already wonderful parents to our yet to be born granddaughter.

My friend, reminded me of this special verse from God's word.

Before I formed you in the womb I knew you,

before you were born I set you apart. Jer.1:5

Are You Content?

2009-08-24T00:17:00.005-05:00

Last Sunday morning at church our preacher talked about being content. Paul the apostle said, Philippians 4:11
I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances.
Then, the preacher proceeded to ask the question of my title, Are you content? In my mind, I replied, No. No, I am not.
Sometimes things just don't seem to go the way I thought they would. People aren't doing what I wish they would, circumstances are not easy to be content in and I have let down others as well as myself. Of course, there is no reason why I should be discontent, after all I am a Christian. If I have Christ in my life then everything else should be accepted for what it is.

Today, four days later, I continue to write this entry after an evening spent in true worship. Our church congregation is a very typical Church of Christ. It has been part of my discontentment over the past several years. I would term my husband and I as active members at church. My husband more than I because, as a man, he has opportunities offered to him that I, as a woman, do not. He leads the singing, he says prayers in worship, he reads scriptures in worship and teaches adult classes and serves communion. Don't take that statement the wrong way, I'm just explaining why he is able to be more active than I. Of course, I have the opportunity to be active through the Women's Ministry and teaching Sunday School, cooking meals, etc. To teach, it would have to be in children or ladies' class, cooking meals is not my thing and the woman's ministry seems outdated. *sigh*. As I stated in a previous blog, it is what it is.

Our congregation was lead by a former minister, in a Taize style worship service last night. Something our congregation possibly would not have embraced had we been more upfront and explained the worship style was borrowed from the Lutheran brethren. Instead it was billed as a time spent in peaceful worship, Welcome to the Quietness. And that it was. Peaceful and quiet. Worshipful, if you will. My part was with the small band of singers attempting to sing Taize without the aide of instruments. Acapella sounded okay, but would have been grander with a few instruments. Alas! as I think about this big step for many of us, it was a mere baby step for those Christians gathered at that place of worship. Still I'm very thankful that God opened hearts and allowed us the worship we sorely needed to be one with God.

This morning, I must admit, my soul is more at peace and content.

Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled, and do not let them be afraid. John 14.27

How I Spent My Summer Vacation

2009-08-07T07:51:00.010-05:00

As summer approached and my husband was preparing for various theater conferences, I expected to spend time working around my house all summer long. Ideally, I would have had a small part time job, but after the week of GT testing for the school district, nothing else worked out.

Kim and I had been saying for months that we were not going to be in the upcoming BLT summer musical, Beauty and the Beast. He was the production manager for the show as a member of the board of directors. I was going to do my part to help box office with ticket sales, and preparing the season ticket information for the new season coming up.

On the first day of auditions for Beauty and the Beast, I had just sent my grandchildren back home with their dad and was left to straighten up the house. Kim left to attend the first round of auditions, just to be there to represent the Board and to observe. Later that evening I decided that I wanted to watch auditions to see who was trying out for the main parts. As I came into the Lee College Performing Arts Center, I was greeted by friends and saw a lot of new faces as well. There had been a large number of people to audition for the show. As I sat down by a friend to watch auditions, I noticed a group of men with name tags stuck to their shirts, and sheet music in their hands, lined up on the stage preparing to sing. That was when I noticed my husband, who had said all year he was not going to do anything more than production manager for the show, standing on stage with the other male auditioners. What is more, when he finished his song, I had to admit that he was good, really good.

So, Kim was cast as Cogsworth, the uptight clock. Before auditions ended, I had tried out just to be part of the chorus and played a villager and a pepper shaker. Our son, Ryan, also auditioned and got the part of the Beast. Then, his wife, Amy, tried out and was cast as Madame De Le Grand Bouche, the wardrobe. We all got parts in the play and enjoyed performing on stage together. It turned out to be a huge theatrical event for our community and the college where we performed. We played to sell out audiences of around 650 for each of our 6 performances. After it ended, we were all glad we'd been part of such a big production as Beauty and the Beast.

Next summer our theater will produce the musical, My Fair Lady. Kim is already talking about trying out for the play. Don't know if I want to spend another summer at the theater, but even if I don't tryout, I can be certain that I'll get involved somehow in another BLT summer musical.

It Is, What It Is

2009-07-28T15:32:00.002-05:00

A new catch phrase I've come to embrace: It is, what it is. We can sugar coat bad news or try our best to rationalize a situation we'd rather not be in, but in the end...it is what it is.

Plans change as situations change and sometimes things just don't work out the way we planned. I retired from 30 years of school teaching in 2007. My plans were to find other work, maybe even a new career. We really could not afford for me to retire, but I was not happy and was coming down with major burn out. However, after I retired, I did not work at all until January when I began administering tests for the school district. During the months I did not work, I enjoyed my freedom from lesson planning, grading papers, turning in gradesheets and disciplining children. It felt good. I volunteered more with the community theater, ran errands and did things for my husband I never was able to do before. I had freedom to go grocery store shopping in the middle of the day when the store was not crowded. There's a lot to be said for getting to do what you've always dreamed of doing while everyone else is at work. Yes, it felt good and I liked it.

Then, we began to miss my paycheck and I knew it was time for me to buckle down to finding a part time job. The testing I had done was temporary and even though it paid well, did not last long enough. I was asked to give tests again during the summer, but again, it was temporary. Next, I found out about a university supervisor job and began my inquiry. The job was paying pretty good and with my qualifications, I was hired for the new school year as an adjunct at the university.

The opportunity to work with college students and help them through the process of becoming a teacher is a very fulfilling experience. My field work is only one day a week. I accept the students' assignments online and grade their digital papers on other days from the convenience of my home. Then, at mid term the university made budget cuts and changed the university supervisor's responsibility and pay from two courses, to one course. The pay cut really did not help our situation. So, I signed on to tutor students, and give more tests to supplement my annuity paycheck from the retirement system. Problem now is that I must keep track of all the hours I work for a state education institution or I jeopardize my annuity if I work over 50% of full time employment. Believe me when I say that keeping up with those hours is another job all together.

We have done pretty good up until this month when no extra income coming in for the summer has really taken its toll. Fortunately, the schools are starting back up tomorrow. I've signed on to work with the university again and also applied to substitute teach in the public schools where I retired from 2 years ago. When I announced that I was retiring in 2007, many people asked if I would be substitute teaching to which I hastily replied, No way! Shouldn't have spoken so fast.

It was my wish to retire, so I really shouldn't complain. The daily drudgery of all the paperwork every single night of the week just got to me. Retirement had to happen and my husband supported me. Every now and then, I get anxious about the loss of income. I can't help it. When the money isn't there for me to something for new the house or bills aren't paid on time, the blues kick in. A little of the old depression covers me like water from a shower washing over my nervous system. I can't stop the feeling and begin to feel sorry for myself and for Kim who married a person like me. Don't get me wrong it's not like I want to go out and spend lots of money on a 2010 black Jaguar. As awesome as that would be, I really just wish the bills would be paid on time and I could buy a new dress every now and then. No, I won't complain because I have a roof over my head, I get fed more than a person needs, my husband and I both have our own cars to drive and we aren't sick. (Thank the Lord!) We have a lot to be thankful for. Even the cats are happy as they have all the same luxuries that we have except the car. They wouldn't like riding in it anyway. So, what can I say? It is, what it is. I must rejoice and be happy in my current circumstances. If the Lord has other plans for me, he will make it known to me. I just pray I'm paying attention and don't miss His message.
I must rely on my Lord and learn from Paul in Philippians 4:11.

Lead Us Not Into Temptation

2009-07-11T11:49:00.007-05:00

It is superficial and should not make a difference, but somehow it does. The fact that Dian Keaton looks amazing at 63 years old is only part of my reality check for the day. Yesterday I watched a movie starring Ryan Reynolds, a baby-faced young actor a mere 33 years of age; acting opposite a beautiful, slender Sandra Bullock an actress 12 years her leading man’s senior. As I watched her looking 33 years old at 45, I was struck with my age, my weight, my aching muscles, joints and the impulse to rush to the hairstylist.

L’ Oreal Paris Re-cushioning (What kind of term is that?) Serum claims to be specially designed to reduce the signs of aging in menopausal and postmenopausal skin. While skin with more cushion strikes me as desirable, I know such claims come with a price tag much like most other “fountain of youth” formula creams, lotions and pills. Pretty 40-something models, like Sarah Jessica Parker, advertising such products do not convince me the product works; they only produce a yearning in me to be their age again.

Carb cravings, sweets and calorie-laden beverages seem to have my name written on their containers. Old ankles struggling to support my overweight frame moan under the strain of their task. By ignoring good health and exercise my energy level depletes with the slightest exertion of outdoor activity. It can be very depressing.

Improved physical health has been linked to improved mental health in both young people and adults. The article linked here indicates that physical activity can help combat those depressed feelings in many of us. We all have triggers for sad feelings and according to experts those can be fought off by exercise. Too bad depression can’t be fought off by a Red Velvet cupcake with vanilla frosting. Take my word for it, as comforting as it may sound, the sweet does not rid one of depression.

Head knowledge is one thing and putting it into action is clearly another. Humans can be self-destructive even when we know what is best for us. Personally, smoking cigarettes has never been a temptation for me. Every pack of cigarettes is clearly labeled with the surgeon general’s warning that tobacco can cause cancer, yet I see people young and old continuing to smoke. So as not to appear too judgmental of some of my best friends who are smokers, my vice is alcohol. Wines and cocktails cool and satisfy, but when not in moderation can/will/do cause havoc on my body and mind. As I said, we humans are self-destructive.

Combating our temptations with knowledge should be an easy fix for these problems. While smoking, drinking, and other outward abuses continue to exist, there are still others not so visible. Does this mean we are all addicted to our temptations? Does it mean we are weak individuals with no spine to correct our lives? Jesus loves me, this I know, and maybe it is the Holy Spirit within urging me to change my way of living. Temptations can become a whisper in the wind and avoidance is possible if we will listen, act and get control. I Co. 10:13

Mercy triumphs over judgement!

James 2:13

Waking Up With Facebook

2009-06-27T09:00:00.008-05:00

When I was a little girl, I often had sleepover guests at my house. I could hardly wait for them to wake up in the morning so we could laugh and talk about our day. Now as an adult in the computer age, I log on to my email, then to Facebook to see what is going on in my friends' world. It has become part of my morning routine to see who is up and chatting each morning. Nothing has changed really, except geography. For now, instead of my friends being at my house for a sleepover, they are spread out all over the globe and we talk via the internet. That is pretty cool!

There is a small group of my close girlfriends spread out across the U. S. who lived with me in a dorm at Abilene Christian College. We began our email conversations long before Facebook was introduced to the internet world. Then, making the transition to the social community of Facebook was easy. I've found many more friends from college that I would not have ever heard from again if not for Facebook. One small group of people who be-friended me are some former students. These students were only in second grade when I taught them. Many of them are married with families and it is just so neat to see what they are doing as adults. Different from friends in college or former students, are friends I have made through our work with the Baytown Little Theater. Most of them are still here in Baytown, but some who have moved away are on my list of friends. It was through Facebook that I learned a theater family we mini- reunion. That should be a lot of fun. It is wonderful to catch up with friends we've not seen in a long while. Other groups of friends I have on Facebook include church friends, family, and former co-workers in the school system. Recently, I have started a search to find high school friends who I am anxious to find. All have touched my life in some way either big or small and now we are renewing friendships on Facebook. That is a large number of friends from all walks of life.

For me, opening my computer to see what is going on with my friends is a convenient way to stay in touch. When I am finished and need to get to work, I simply close my computer. I can pick it up or close it down any time during the day. What's more, I haven't had to stay on the telephone just to see how they are doing. I couldn't come close to connecting with as many people as I do through Facebook. For sure, phone conversations are nice to hear a real voice sometimes. For example, my husband is away this week and even though I've been able to keep up with his daily activities through Facebook nothing beat the times we talked on the telephone to really feel closer to him across the hundreds of miles between us. Yes, phones still have a very prominent place in our society for a personal conversation, but for brief updates, you can't beat Facebook. Well, that is unless you have Twitter, which I do not presently have an account. It's just a matter of time before I do and perhaps a new Blackberry. *wink*

Even though I rarely have sleepover friends anymore, it is nice to wake up and visit online. If you haven't joined Facebook yet, you should. Don't be afraid to browse the site like you would a department store. Type people's names in the search window and you might be surprised to find many of your friends. Friends who have just been waiting for you to wake up and give them an update. So, go ahead, get started and stay in touch with many more friends who have touched your life than you thought possible. What is really nice is you'll love being able to say Good Morning to 100 or so close friends without putting clean sheets on the bed.

What's on your mind?

Summer:Working as Water:Oil

2009-06-22T16:02:00.007-05:00

As my mom used to say, "It's hotter than blue blazes out there." I just bet we could have actually fried an egg on the sidewalk today! Whew! I can't believe Kim worked in the yard on such a hot day. My cats are not even begging to go outside either. Well, okay, Baby thinks she wants outside, but as soon as she got out there, she'd know it wasn't the best decision. Yes, my cats make decisions, don't yours?

Fortunately, I have not had to be out in the heat today. I went to a school and gave tests for the school district. Four first grade children before lunch and only two fifth grade students after lunch. Not a bad gig really. I get paid to give tests to some pretty sweet kids. Those fifth graders worked hard today and finished one test with 9 subtests. It made me tired and all I did was operate the stopwatch and explain the tests. The first graders worked hard too. Their only disappointment was that the test started at 8:00 again tomorrow morning. I'm with them, 8 o'clock is way too early to wake up during summer vacation.

Finding summer work has really been a weighty task for me. When you think about it, I've never had what is considered a real 8:00-3:00, Monday through Friday summer job. I had a few part time jobs, but never full-time and certainly not all summer long. Besides those piddly jobs were back before I started teaching school. Those hardly count! Since I was a career student and teacher, I have enjoyed summer vacations off since I started first grade. That's a long standing habit and not easily changed. So, surely you can see why my will to muster up the energy to work during these dog days of summer is just not there. It's hot! I should be swimming in a pool, going on picnics or to places like Schlitterbahn or a nice beach house. If flip-flops can't be the official footwear for the job, I don't want it. Working in the summer? I don' think so.

Unfortunately, the bad news is that I really need to work. I don't want to, but finances being what they are, its something that has to be done. The testing I'm doing now will only last until Wednesday or Thursday if I stretch it out. After that, its back to beans and rice. Just joking! However, its on the verge of such low-budget meals. The 50-dollar question is, "What?" What can I do to earn money where I don't work long hours, nights, weekends or get bored? "Picky", you say? You are probably right, but I'm no spring chicken anymore and I need my R & R.

Well, I'll keep thinking on it and in the meantime, if you come up with an idea for me a job, please drop me a line on Facebook or leave a comment here. Oh, and it needs to be within the area where I live. I am not willing to relocate, unless its to Paradise where the living is easy and my flip-flops are allowed.

Happy Martin Father's Day! 2009

2009-06-21T12:10:00.018-05:00

This post is simply a pictorial tribute to the Martin Dads past and present.

Down front is Jason Kelly Martin (10 months), with great-grandfather, Harold Kelly Martin, Sr., his son and Jason's grandfather, Harold Kelly Martin, Jr. with his son and Jason's dad, Harold Kelly Martin, III (Kim). (1977)

Kim with sons Jason (5 years), Kyle (3) and Ryan (9 months) . (1982).

Kelly and his son, Kim. (2007) Kelly and son, Lane Martin. (2009)

Kim with his sons, Ryan, Kyle and Jason with his son, Kim's grandson, Aidan Kelly Martin (4 years old). (2006)

Our son, Jason, with his daughter, Regan (4 years old) and with son, Aidan. (2008-09)

Steve Russell may not be a Martin, but he married Kim's sister, Ferryn Martin. Steve
pictured with children, Christian and Hannah.

Slow...almost...Summer Days

2009-05-28T16:35:00.006-05:00

This is one of those days when I'd like to be sitting under a tall oak tree sipping a mint julep. Being at home alone during the day has its advantages, but sometimes when the sun is shining, the cats are sleeping, there are no pressing needs and lazy trumpet sounds play on the CD player; I'm inclined to do nothing at all.

The outdoor patio chairs seem to be beckoning me to sit, linger, sip a cool crisp Chardonnay and exert no energy whatsoever. As much as I would have enjoyed a relaxing afternoon of simply staring into the green surroundings of my backyard, I resisted the temptation. Besides, at the time my patio desperately needs a chaise lounge, our new patio table to be assembled, and the big umbrella set up in order to truly be sublime. Perhaps a gentle breezy fan would also aide the stirring of the air across my face and shoulders on this warm day. Ah, yes, that would be truly nice.

It takes a while for me to get into the rhythm of a slow day. In the beginning, I'm restless and even...dare I say...bored? As I do not have a set agenda, the day leaves numerous options to keep me busy. Now that summer is upon me, I realize that much is still to be completed around my house. That so called office space is in real need of a make-over in order to be a more productive room. This lingering day with nothing better to do is tasking to say the least. HGTV would be the way to go if I could just persuade David Bromstad that I need his expertise in my office.

Although, a mire fraction of effort went into a plan for today, I did manage to move small piles of disarray in our office. An adequately sized room with a Mission style daybed heaped high with clutter, a small bookcase housing a complete set of World Book Encyclopedias, a two-drawer wooden file cabinet filled with paper-shredding material, a Mission style computer desk sans computer, a wheeled black desk chair and oddities of one sort or the other; the space resembles a college dorm room more than an office. Since so much stuff comes into this house on a daily basis with no assigned storage, it tends to be shuffled into the office. Our office has slowly become, against my wishes, a junk room. Although, much of said, "junk" are important documents, theater catalogs, tote bags and books, it is unwanted stuff just the same. If ever a file cabinet needed weeding out, ours does. Papers with dates back to 1987 were found. Blank letterhead from companies for which we are no longer employed will soon become drawing paper for my grandchildren. Play scripts, books, high school and college annuals, a whole set of Bible commentaries are filling the cubby holes and shelf areas in the room's closet along with plastic crates filled with photographs and albums. Old theater props, a huge exercise ball accepted from a friend who no doubt didn't used it either, and my guitar that I occasionally play, all share the same closet space as our eclectic range of books. The closet is also in dire need of weeding.

As mentioned before, this is a slow day. Many times today I stopped to consider where else I might drive to occupy my time otherwise; an antique store, a shoe store or perhaps the liquor store for ingredients to mix a nice mint julep cocktail. Instead, here I sit, checking my email and writing on my blog. The music has changed to soothing tones of a deep contemporary cello.

Daydreaming aside, it is I who will have to force myself back into the little room to organize, throw away and regroup. Maybe by the time June is over, I'll have completed the project or Carter Oosterhouse will agree to lean a hand. Now I really must get back to reality.

From Beginning to End

2009-05-24T17:27:00.006-05:00

When I began this blog, my intentions were to post at least once a week. Lately, I've been doing good to post once a month. I noticed on the last Site Meter report that the number of views a week was way low. When I logged onto the site, I had 4 drafts started and none of them near completion. So, I managed to delete three and complete one; here is a second. Even though the writing bug is biting, and even though I have several writing ideas swirling around in my head, and even though I have more time to write; I just can't seem to gain the momentum to actually execute the activity. My plan is to return to once a week postings. That said, today I decided to make a fervent attempt to post another entry to my humble little blog. I hope you enjoy it and will tell others to follow along with ML's Musings.
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Spring is primarily known for new beginnings. Buds burst into colorful flowers, nude little chicks are hatching and caterpillars emerge as lovely butterflies pumping new wings for the first time. Many people are spring cleaning as they discard, organize, give or sell those once-needed items no longer of use. Spring is a time of new beginnings and also, in some cases, a time of endings.

Endings were celebrated recently at our church. All of the high school seniors who are graduating this May were honored. The church gathered in our fellowship room after services to share in the celebration. Just the eight of them and the 100 or so of their friends, family, and well-wishers brought food to share. In addition to good food, there were gifts, pictures, a DVD showing all the grads at various cute-ness over their young lifetime and a blessing offered for their futures. Happy endings are a also a sign of new beginnings.

Summer, while a time to play, can also be a time for continued work. The main school year morphs into summer school. For some it will be a time to redo what was missed during the long term with hope for improved outcomes. For others it is a time to get ahead, taking classes to further their progress to an end. Still, summer for many individuals is a time to rest, relax and regroup before the onset of Fall. Summer camps planned to not only occupy young minds and bodies, also provide activity for the adult sponsors to relive their youth. Families take vacations ranging from expensive cruise excursions to a back-to-basics tent in the woods. The main objective for family vacations is a time to bond, to appreciate those people closest to our hearts and enjoy the uniqueness of each family member.

Seasons have cycled around with reoccurring events in much the same manner for decades. Goals are set, tracks are laid, and progress is charted for whatever we humans have planned. If we think about our future, it is as an endless circular rail from beginning to end, never to be broken until the ending date is stamped on our headstone. While we ride this sphere around and around, the primary differences come in our growth as individuals. Numerous physical and mental changes have taken place within us. Along the way we have acquired knowledge, spouses, learned skills and talents, children, homes, and spiritual awareness. From the time we are babes until our final end on earth, we continue to rotate in and out of seasons, experiencing life's starts and stops. Keep in mind that with each end, something new will begin. May we all reflect, appreciate and savor our time on earth until we stop at our final resting place and forever live the ultimate new beginning.

Ps 104:19 The moon marks off the seasons,p and the sunq knows when to go down.
May God bless your seasons.

Peace, Be Still

2009-05-12T21:58:00.005-05:00

I can just imagine sitting in a sailboat on a quiet body of water, the evening air is warm, and I feel a gentle breeze brush against my face. I like that tiny light you see hanging off the mast in the picture. The fishermen must be working late casting nets after the sun has gone down and the lantern provides added light. Earth's moon illuminates the dark waters. It's a peaceful time of the evening when most other fishermen have retired to their homes for the evening. Only the sound of waves softly lapping up on the sides of the boat can be heard. Calm waters gently rock the boat and the fisherman watch the waters without speaking a word. Peace, be still.

Jesus, asleep on a quiet boat as a storm is forming. His shipmates are growing nervous as dark clouds roll overhead and dangerous waves begin to rock their boat violently. No longer the tranquil scene described in the above paragraph. Deafening thunder claps roll across the sky as torrents of rain saturate the tiny boat. Jesus, possibly below deck, remains unaffected and sleeps through the furious storm. The disciples are alarmed, thinking they are going to die and wake Jesus, shouting their pleas to be saved.

Jesus calmly surveys the storm and speaks, You of little faith, why are you so afraid?
Jesus isn't concerned about their safety because He knows who is in control. He is. Like a father to a rowdy child, he rebukes the storm. Quiet! Be still! And in an instant, the unruly winds and rains obey the Master's voice. Peace has returned to the lake waters.

Jesus told the stormy winds and rains to stop. It should comfort and calm our anxious feelings to know what our savior can do. He can rebuke the storms in our lives. He can still our fears of inadequacy. He hears our cries of desperation and with outstretched hands he replies, Quiet! Be Still. Our faith is strengthen and our fears erased when we call out to Jesus.

Peace, be still.

Matthew 8:23-27

Louise, Mama, Big Mama

2009-05-04T11:46:00.006-05:00

Louise Bernice Bond Ritchey, lovingly called "Big Mama" by our sons, passed away on May 4, 1993. The photo here was taken March 2, 1984 on her birthday.

May 4th, around 3:00 a.m., I was in Port Neches standing at my mother's bedside with my sister-in-law's mom who was helping tend to Mother. Barbara wrapped her arms around me as we both watched Mama take one last breath and leave. In the middle of the night, we stood there watching and breathing our own sighs of relief that Mom's struggle with cancer had ended.

I miss my mom and the impulsive last minute decisions I'd make to drive the hour trip to Pt. Neches just for a visit. The impulse to go, still comes without resolution. In 1993, on spring, sun-laden days in late April/early May, most of my drives were alone to be with Mom who lay dying of cancer. My oldest brother, Johnny, had already been there helping the best way he could. My other brother would join us at our childhood home the day before Mama passed away. My daddy lay awake in bed, confused as to why we were all there; had symptoms of Alzheimer's disease. It was such a blessing to have my big strong brothers there to share the heavy grief as we made important, life-changing decisions. I was especially blessed to have Barbara there to hold me as we stayed those last moments with Mama's body. On that day and in years to come, my husband and his family have allowed me the separation from the surreal circumstance. I don't believe I could have made it through the ordeal without my beloved Kim for the mental support he provided.

Even though Mama has been gone for 16 years, it doesn't seem that long ago since we were together laughing in her kitchen. Mom was a great cook and loved to feed her family on holidays or anytime any of us were at their house. I mainly provided conversation, set the table or made a salad, while watching her cook. I miss her as much as I miss all the family gatherings we used to have with my brothers' families, my grandmother and all my aunts, uncles and cousins. All of that seemed to stop when Mama died.

Mom and Dad are together in heaven now with their sibblings and parents. Someday we will all be together again for a grand reunion.

I love and miss you every day, Mom.

Alone Again, Naturally!

2009-04-18T08:47:00.006-05:00

Today is rainy, windy and wet outside. Although, it is not hailing like it was last night, I won't venture out today if I can help it. With Kim gone to work on sets, I'm once again Home Alone. Unlike Macaulay Culkin, I'm not too worried about bothersome crooks trying to break into my house. My only pest is this gray tabby cat draped across my lap while I try to use my laptop.

With many closets in my house that clearly need an overhaul, the abundant amount of paperwork lying around in the office (loose translation of office), not to mention a small video project I am working on, plus the daily housework of cleaning floors, washing clothes and such, one would think that I could keep myself busy 24/7. I've several books that were bought, loaned, and gifted to me waiting for my attention. Obviously, there is no shortage of work and entertainment around here to occupy my time well into the night.

So, what will it be that captures my attention, that intrigues me enough to indulge my senses for long periods of time? I'm thinking my video project would be a nice little task that I could dive into with joy and gain a sense of fulfilled completion by the end of the day. Working on a creative project won't tax my brain too much or frustrate me to tears. Perhaps I'd even get some of the laundry washed or a floor vaccumed inbetween creative thoughts. I'm liking this idea very much.

As soon as I finish a second cup of coffee and check out what my friends on HGTV are doing this morning, I'll get started. Yep, that's what I'll do. Hope you all have a very productive day.

Ooooo, one of my Facebook friends has commented on a thread I was part of...I have to check it out. Bye!

Blog Topics and Elephants

2009-04-14T08:53:00.004-05:00

When I sit down to post on this blog, sometimes I have a topic, although other times like now, I do not. Yesterday, I wrote an article, but decided that it was too long for a blog and I'd rambled too much. So, I hit delete and gave it up for the day. Many times I think of a subject I'd like to address, but realize that if I post it, the topic may stir up problems for me with some of my readers. Not that I have that many readers, but I have just enough that if my context is any way controversial, it could get back to others who would not understand. I'd be told to "be careful what you put in print". Does that qualify as censorship? I suppose it might, but just on my part, after all, I am my own editor. However, if I were a gutsy writer, a bold reporter, I would not censor myself because it is my writing, my point of view and anyone that has a problem with it should just get over it. Yeah!! or maybe not. Sorry about that, I didn't mean to get carried away.

Although there is a side of me that wants to tell people to take a hike or lay off, when faced with the opportunity, I shy away. Well, that is, most of the time. I have told a person face to face that I didn't like the way he was talking to me. Although, that was not writing and he was the protagonist, not me. Hmmm... well lets just say that I've written from the protagonist point of view and heard about it from others who were "concerned" about me. Once I wrote what I thought to be an analogy...or was it a metaphor? (I get those mixed up.) It was written because of a situation that had upset me at our church. I really thought I'd camouflaged it pretty well. Besides, who reads this blog? No one. I found out differently when a friend called to meet her at Starbucks. Seems some church person had read my blog and was afraid that we were leaving the church. I was surprised and amazed that someone read the post much less would care enough about what I'd written. Moreover, sending a friend to talk to me about what I had written was a real eye-opener. People really do read this blog!

Anyway, this is one of those post about nothing in particular because if I write about topics on my mind, it may not set well with some friends who apparently do read this blog and would get their feathers ruffled. I truly don't want to offend anyone. That is the truth, too. I also don't want any of them to think ill of me either. However, it would sure be freeing to be able to say what is really on my mind. To be able to discuss that big gray elephant standing in the middle of the church aisle. You see it, don't you? Well, maybe you aren't at my church, but trust me, there's one there. He stands there every time we meet and no one ever seems to notice him, especially, the elephant keepers who walk around him every time they were in the aisle. Although, there has been a whisper or two that I'm sure was someone wondering about the elephant, no one has had the presence to announce, "there is an elephant in the aisle and this house is no place for such a thing." Maybe one day some newcomer who doesn't know any better, will ask about that big gray elephant standing in the middle of the aisle and "why isn't someone doing something to get him out". When that day comes, a meeting will be called, there will be a discussion, maybe even an disagreement (that's the part I don't like), but eventually, hopefully, the elephant will be gone. When it's out, we'll clean up the aisle so we can worship free of distractions, free of barriers, free of the questions surrounding the elephant, and free of the dominating smell of the beast's presence that everyone seemed to ignore.

Sorry, this wasn't much of a post today. I just couldn't think of a topic. Maybe next time I write, I'll have more of an idea about what to write.

Thanks for reading, whoever you are.

She's Having a Birthday

2009-04-02T22:40:00.006-05:00

This happy little ballerina is my darling granddaughter, Regan. She will soon be 4 years old.

She is happy 99.5% of the time from my perspective. I love and enjoy basking in the happiness Regan showers all around. Playing with her is such a joy for me. When she comes to my house she likes to sit on the floor of my bedroom watching her videos propped up on a big pillow. At other times we make shapes with play dough and cookie cutters at the kitchen table. We lie in bed and read storybooks. Just listening to her talk and laugh makes me feel good all over.

Regan has a lot of love for her family and often shows that affection with kisses and hugs. I love to see her sharing her kisses on her mommy and daddy. She will even hug on her big brother Aidan or lavish her love on their beagle, Daisy. It has also been my good fortune indeed to have been the recipient of Regan hugs and kisses.

Regan is what I call a girly-girl. Last year's 3-year-old birthday party was a Princess Barbie Party. Regan's mommy, my talented daughter in law, baked a beautiful Barbie cake and constructed a decorated skirt around the body of a real Barbie doll standing in the center of the cake. Regan loved it. This year we are invited to a Butterfly Party and I'm sure there will be a cake worthy of the butterfly theme.

Having raised 3 sons, I find that shopping for Regan's girl-themed birthday parties to be a lot of fun. I really enjoy looking at girl toys, clothes and reading books I think she will like. Trouble is I find it hard to decide on what not to get because I'd love to get it all. I believe Regan will approve of the present I finally settled on. Cool sunglasses, butterfly ponytail holders, a butterfly printed tee and a Girls Rock tee, a skort (that's part skirt, part shorts) that matches both tees and a ballerina Barbie, with brunette hair of course, and an extra Barbie outfit all between patterned tissue paper in a bright pink gift bag. I also read the cutest Easter book in Target titled "Tough Chicks". It's about three yellow baby chicks on a farm who are always getting into mischief. Really cute story and of course, I had to buy it so I can share it with her. Besides the story seems to fit our "tough birthday-chick". Now, if you should happen to see my Regan, please keep my present a secret. Luckily, she doesn't follow her Mama Lou's blog...yet.

Saturday will be here one more day. We will travel the short distance to her house. Meeting her friends, watching her run and giggle with other little 4 year olds as they play party games will be the most fun I'll experience all day. Can't wait!

"Happy Birthday, dear Regan. Happy Birthday, to You!"

Love,
Mama Lou

Getting My Ducks in a Row

2009-03-17T01:01:00.004-05:00

Sometimes getting all my ducks to get into a row is like raking leaves on a windy day. They just don't stay put.

Gray. Rain. Quiet.

2009-03-13T16:31:00.005-05:00

Its raining today. The temperature dropped down to the low 40's in the middle of March. Its wet and cold outside. I don't feel like going anywhere or doing anything except what I'm doing right now. Hanging around my house, I can see so many chores that need to be tended to, but no energy to carry through. The sound of the rain dripping on metal outside, the chill of the air around the glass door and the sight of my sleeping cats, all seem to suck the spirit to work right out of me.

On days like today its good to be inside out of the elements, but being alone makes the day drag. My husband is teaching school today and afterward will stay for a rehearsal with the ninth grade theater arts students. He'll be there until it starts to turn dark. I wish he'd just come on home and talk to me. Or perhaps we could play a game and have some fun. I'd watch a movie with him except our taste for movies are very different. He likes documentaries about crimes committed and federal agents working to solve the mysteries surrounding the act. Me? I enjoy a story about happiness. People who are full of life and laughing with friends and out having a good time. The kind of movies I like are an escape from reality. Why anyone would ever want to sit watching films about hate crimes, murders, and illicit acts of cruelty against people they love, are beyond my mind of reason. Just watching previews of films involving terror, fear, and monstrous mangling of human bodies is not at all what I'd call entertainment. I've not the foggiest idea why anyone would want to subject their mind to such things.

If not for the sound of the heater in the attic blowing warmth into my house, there would be no sound at all. Quiet. Very quiet. When I was a teenager, my mother would offer tidbits of advice out of the blue for when I would have a home and family of my own. "When you're at home by yourself, keep the TV or radio on for company. Just having the sound on helps make the day go faster." Or, "you have to be sure to clean good around a toilet when there's men in the house". Ha. I always thought that one was funny, although now that I've had three sons and a husband, I often remember her words as I clean around a toilet.

Quiet, gray days generate a lot of thoughts in my head. Memories of bygone days growing up in my parent's home, playing with my dolls, coloring, playing records (FYI, round plastic disc pre-CD that held music) or just brushing my hair as I stared at my reflection on days like today float around my mind. Then, my thoughts sift to those days not so long ago when my own children were at home on days like today.

When my kids were little they'd come up with all sorts of games on rainy days. Often I'd open the door to their bedroom and a tent made of blankets and ropes had been erected. Corners tied off to doorknobs and curtain rods, with cozy areas just the right size for pint-sized little boys to sit under, laugh and play. Or sometimes I'd let them play in the garage. I'd open the double-wide garage door and they'd draw on a chalkboard, blow bubbles or just listen to the echoing sounds of their voices bouncing off the garage walls.

The familiar wail of a refinery whistle off in the distance, is reminiscent of the refineries where I grew up and where my daddy worked. Hearing those plant whistles signaling the workers to change shifts, make me think about my daddy. I can see him wearing his hard hat and carrying that black metal lunch pail as he came around the corner of the garage up the sidewalk to our back door. The sound is so clear in the solitude of my home and I am immediately transported back to the small wood-framed house in Southeast Texas.

In a while I will turn the television on for company. What's left of the gray day will soon end and my husband will come home. We'll eat our dinner and talk about our day. It was quiet today. Very quiet.

From Journal to Blog

2009-02-25T19:15:00.005-06:00

Previous to writing a blog, I kept a personal journal. In the past, a few of my writings have found their way into my blog. Though it would not be in my best interest to "publish" much of my journal. When I started my journal writing it was at a time in my life when I was discontented, feeling alone and wanted something, but I didn't know what. In short, I was depressed.

One night I awoke unable to sleep and moved to the living room couch so I wouldn't wake up my husband. Picking up a book that a counselor had loaned me, I continued reading about symptoms I was experiencing. Realizations from this book made me very unsettled. So much so, that I was in tears by the end of the book. I opened my Bible and began to read a random New Testament scripture. The verses I read were so much what I needed that I knew without a doubt, it was a message straight from God to me. In that early morning hour, in an almost blank journal, I recorded the scripture and how it applied to me. I would return to that night's journal entry many times over the next year.

One winter when our sons were nearing adulthood, my husband and I traveled with our church group to ski in Colorado. Only I was not going to ski, but rather use the time to be alone. While everyone else was skiing, I planned to meditate and ponder my existence; or at least ponder my faith and whether God still loved me. I had just started reading the first of many Max Lucado books I would eventually digest, "No Wonder They Call Him Savior". That was such an inspirational reading experience for me. The feeling that my spiritual life was taking on changes was apparent, like realizing for the first time the true impact of Jesus' sacrifice, and that He still loved me.

The real journal writing began on that ski trip during my time of recluse. First of all our surroundings were perfect for a time of solitude. Set in front of snow-caped mountains among tall evergreens, the retreat was away from any busy-ness and city noise. A chilly gurgling river ran down the center of the resort separating the dining hall from the living quarters. Despite the cold temperatures, no snow had fallen upon our arrival. Disappointed at first, by the time we went to bed that night, we were hearing that snow was on the way.

The first night we slept out in the common room of the boys' dorm. The following morning
our group of skiers decided to head to the ski slopes in spite of the absence of white stuff on the grounds. Content to be alone, I was settling into the now quiet dorm to read when I got word that a cabin with a private room had become available. All by myself, I hastened to move our bags to the cabin.

The cabin was more than I had expected. There was a large picture window, a warm living room outfitted like a small first apartment, and a cozy bedroom. This was the perfect place to read and since Kim had brought his laptop, it was also the perfect place to write a description of this beautiful place. Out of clear radio range, most stations were a flurry of static. Tuning the dial, I hit on the only coherent channel, which was of all things, a contemporary Christian music station. I settled myself in front of the picture window at a table where I could type my journal entry on the computer. While Christian music played on the radio, cold temperatures lingered outside. Warm and cozy inside, I was poised to write my thoughts. After typing for a while, I stretched my arms up and looking out the window saw feathery white snowflakes drifting to the ground. At first they were light and few in number. The longer it continued to snow, the bigger and more active the flakes descended to the ground, sticking one upon the other until the whole ground was a blanket of white. It was beautiful! Having lived the majority of my life in Southeast Texas, this cold precipitation was captivating to watch. My original piece of writing now took on a different conversation as I felt sure that God had sent the private cabin, the Christian radio station and this beautiful snowfall just for me.

Returning home from the ski trip, I felt rejuvenated and intent on continuing my Bible reading, study, and journal writing. At home I often wrote in my journal filed within my own computer. Over the next decade, although not daily, I wrote much about happenings in my life, both sad and joyous.

Somewhere along the way amid transition from a desktop computer to a laptop and discovering the "Blogworld", I stopped recording my thoughts in a private journal. Using a computer to write has freed me from pen and paper allowing my thoughts to flow freely and more natural. That liberates me to think about my words and not my writing. Although, my blog entries are not exactly what I'd write in a private journal, it has allowed me to continue to record stories, thoughts and events in my life. The drawback with writing on a blog instead of my own personal journal is that I learned the hard way, that I must be very careful what I put out on the Internet. It surprises me when someone tells me that they read my blog. One time, in an angry state of mind, I authored a metaphoric story that I thought vague enough that no one would understand except perhaps my close friends. Suffice it to say, it got unwanted attention.

Credit perhaps should be given to my growing computer skills for this transition from a penned personal journal to blogging on the Internet. Although, I must admit that there is a certain appeal to clean crisp paper bound in leather and a brand new ink pen. The idea tempts me to ponder the thought of actual writing again...for my personal memoirs of course. An intriguing thought for sure and one I will consider each time I see a blank journal waiting for my words.

Are You Anxious?

2009-02-23T09:00:00.004-06:00

Php. 4:6, Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

I can be so anxious about such trivial things. I get so anxious about not so trivial things. What can I say? I am an anxious person. However, I have in the midst of extreme worry and anxiousness, prayed fervently to God to take away my worry. And you know what? He did just that. Once when my younger two sons were in high school band together, they flew to Hawaii for a spring break trip. My oldest son and girlfriend were with my husband and I on a ski trip in Colorado. Knowing we'd be separated by thousands of miles, knowing my youngest son was not flying out on the same airplane with his older brother, imagining all sorts of accidents could occur between all of us on this trip, made me anxious to put it mildly. The morning the band was to fly out, one son left earlier than the other one. My husband drove each of them to the high school to meet the bus taking them to the airport. I just couldn't take going to see them off. I stayed in my bed, not sleeping, praying for their safety.

I don't know about how other people experience worry or anxiousness, but it is both physically and emotionally that I take on this burden. My body will tremble, my stomach becomes knotted and I want to just lie down and cry. It is a terrible, debilitating wave of helplessness that washes over me and I want nothing more than to remove the burr stabbing my heart. So that morning, lying in my bed in the darkness and silence of my home, I prayed to God . "God keep my boys safe from harm. Take care that the airplane lands safely in Hawaii. Help my sons to watch out for each other and come back to me safely. And, Lord, take away this worry I am feeling. Amen". As I prayed my Amen, I closed me eyes, breathed a sigh and slept. When I woke up, I knew that God was in control and had taken away my worry enough for me to sleep. Furthermore, if He had taken my anxious feelings away, He must have seen the boys safely to Hawaii. What a giant of a God!

Do I still get anxious? Oh yes! and do I still remember to pray to God about my worries? Most of the time. And when my worries just won't quit, that is when I try to remember who is in charge. There is no need to worry about a thing when our God is in control. He will take care of everything and nothing is too big for Him.

Consider how the lilies grow. They do not labor or spin. yet I tell you, not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today, and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, how much more will he clothe you, O you of little faith?" Lk. 12:27-28

I couldn't have said it better myself, for I am the one of little faith.

One of the Cool Kids

2009-02-21T15:00:00.007-06:00

Did you ever want to be one of the cool kids? If so, did you ever get over it? In a sense I don't believe any of us do. As I review my childhood, adolescence up through today, I still want to be accepted, liked by everyone and to be one of the cool kids.

As a child in grade school, I really wanted to be liked by the kids that seemed to be friends with everyone. Those kids were my friends and for the most part they were nice to me, but still I was not at the tops of the lists for invitations to parties or group nights at the roller rink. I used to think being Church of Christ and not attending dances was a major drawback for me in the popularity department. I remember once in about 5th or 6th grade, I did get invited to a group night at the roller rink with who I considered the cool kids. One of the mom's picked me up and I climbed into the car with my girlfriends. At the rink, the girls really didn't mean to ditch me, but they weren't going to babysit me all evening either. Friday night at the roller rink and it was packed with kids. It was a wonder that anyone could actually skate on the floor, it was so crowded. I managed to get separated from my group and ended up on the dirty floor after a skater going by tripped me. I was mortified as the high school male rink employee scooped me up off the wooden floor. I considered myself a fairly decent skater, but was feeling very much out of my element that night. Confidence to act carefree, to laugh about my fall, or just to have a good time while interacting with other kids was a personal trait I lacked. My feelings and self esteem were bruised so, I called my mother to take me home. Life's little problems among preteen girls are always over dramatic. However, those low self esteem moments do much to shape the way we self protect in our futures.

To be accepted, respected and liked is something we all desire. Right or wrong, its there, but the way we handle disappointment in ourselves is critical to our overall reaction to life in general. Once we start giving into our feelings of inadequacy, it is hard to think otherwise. Still to this day when a problem arises or something goes wrong in a situation, my first thought is that it's my fault.

Even though our sons are grown, married and no longer at home, Kim and I still find ourselves as busy as ever. Before I retired from school teaching, I had begun to feel respected by other teachers. I was given more responsibilities at work and felt confident in what I was doing. I believe it was as much for my many years of experience as anything that this shift in self-confidence came about. Over the years I've met people who would never seem interested in what I had to say. I was a "back-burner" person. What I had to say about a subject didn't seem to matter when they'd cut me off in mid-thought or not give me a chance to respond to the conversation. They would listen intently to what someone else had to say...or was that just my destructive self talking?

However, these days I am working with a local university as a teacher intern supervisor. I really like working with the college students preparing for their futures in education. I think I have a lot to offer them from my experiences. When I lead a seminar with my interns or participate in a university supervisors' business meeting, I don't feel I am on the back burner waiting for someone to notice me. I am still awestruck that my interns even listen and take into account what I have to say.

My confidence level with whatever activity or job on which I embark has always been mediocre at best. However, these days I am finally feeling a better sense of boldness in myself and my abilities. My self-assured days come and go, but I like to think that most days I approach tasks with a renewed trust that I can accomplish most of what awaits.

Do I still want to be one of the cool kids? Yes, I'm afraid that I do, but in a different way than I did as a child. Who really are the cool kids now? Are they the leaders or the people that work in the background of projects? Are they the life of the party or the confident people making sure that everyone is having a good time and not feeling alone? Are the cool kids today placing more importance on how they look or how they treat others?

I'm still not what most people might consider one of the cool kids here on earth. However, I believe that when I reach heaven one day, I am going to know the Coolest Kid of all. God's own son, Jesus, will come up to me, throw His arms around me and speak my name. My confidence will soar because He will know me and that will make me one of the cool kids.

“His master replied, ’Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master’s happiness!’ Matthew 25:21

One Month Later

2009-02-16T23:22:00.008-06:00

It has been a month since I last posted here. Kim and I have been pretty busy this month. All of the Martin guys, including Kim, has either directed or performed in a play this month. We've enjoyed three plays and one still to come. Kim and Kyle both directed plays at their respective high schools. Kim's students performed a play set in about 1945 named, Cover of Life. Kyle directed his students in the musical, Bye, Bye, Birdie. Both plays presented examples of the talent present in high school theater. Both performances were enjoyable to watch.

Then, we saw Jason perform on stage in Godspell, which was a real treat at The United Methodist Church, United Players. He played the part of Judas and John the Baptist. His singing sure impressed both his dad and I. Now all three of our sons have performed in that play. This Friday we will see Ryan and his wife, Amy, open in One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest at the Baytown Little Theater. I am in charge of Box Office for that show and so I've been somewhat involved with that play as well. The night before we see Cuckoo's Nest, we'll drive into Houston to see the daughter of our brother in law perform in a play at her high school. We even got to see our little granddaughter dance some with her dance school a week ago. A very special treat for sure! That's a lot of theater for one family.

Our Valentine's Day also involved plays. Kim took me to San Antonio for the weekend and we had a lovely time seeing plays at a community theater there. One was a musical called Alter Boyz which I totally enjoyed. The other was an original work that was being work-shopped in the small theater, titled No. 5, written by New York playwright, William Allen. It was a one woman play portraying Coco Channel. Allen entered his play in a contest sponsored by TNT and his was one of five plays chosen to be produced in Texas community theaters. Kim and I had the priviledge to have dinner with the author and other TNT members before seeing the play. All of the theater, plus a nice hotel room and an enjoyable lunch one afternoon on the Riverwalk made for a perfect weekend get away.

Now back home, Kim just today held auditions for his next high school play which will be a musical. So the entertainment and fun continues.

When Spring Break rolls around we are traveling to Ft. Worth to participate in the Texas Nonprofit Theater Conference. Our community theater will be taking a play to compete with other theaters' plays. There will be workshops to attend, visiting with friends and enjoying some good theater. Always a fun time at the conference.

Theater is Kim's job and passion. Even though 30+ years ago getting involved in theater work was a simple way to be with Kim, I learned to love theater also. Now after all our 34 years of marriage I've been on stage, backstage and on our community theater board. I am grateful that our family has theater in common. It has provided an avenue of togetherness we might not have otherwise.

Well that's the update on our busy theater life this month. Maybe I won't be month before I post next time.

Something's Going to Happen

2009-01-12T21:07:00.006-06:00

Well of course something is going to happen. It always does, doesn't it? I for one am looking forward with anticipation as to just what that "something" will be.

Plenty of "somethings" are out there looming just over the horizon of possibilities for me, my family, our country, our local church and my friends. Even the local community theater where we are members has great opportunities opening up to us this year. Yes, it is going to be a good year for something to happen.

Lately, I have heard many people speak of things that happened to them or their families in the last 12 months and that 2009 just had to be better than 2008. I would agree. Our church family felt the sadness of the passing of beloved members we will surely miss a lot. Individuals I know have gone through serious health issues this year. The whole community felt the heavy hand of Hurricane Ike. Still in recovery from the destruction done to properties, our daily lives and routines are still working to get back on track. We've had much go on in each of our personal worlds to make us all say, "It can only get better from here."

I am trying to trust God and not worry myself to take care of problems. If we ask God to help us with our struggles, I have to believe that he will. When we take matters into our own hands too soon, we can miss the better choice God has planned for us. When I was just thinking this week about needing some extra money, I prayed to God for his help, not knowing where to pick up some extra income. I didn't even have to go out to find it. It found me and I have 3 days of paid work coming up. God is good and will handle our cares if we will simply let Him.

Seek and ye shall find, knock and the door will be open.

I recently read a request on Max Lucado's website requesting all of us to pray for our President Elect Obama on January 20, 2009. I believe that we as Christians should all pray to God for Obama's family and for his wisdom and leadership as the President of our country. Now that is going to really be "something" that is going to happen isn't it? Yes, this is going to be an interesting year full of new happenings. You can click on this link to sign a pledge and learn more about this prayer for you or a group.

God is good. He has a plan and believe me its better than any one you or I could ever come up with on our own. Possibilities? Plenty!

Luke 11:9-10
So I say to you: Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened.

Resolutions '09 or The Person I Want to Be

2009-01-04T22:40:00.005-06:00

This picture doesn't look like it fits with an article about New Year's Resolutions, does it? Although, it reminds me of when I was a little girl with long braids and she looks thoughtful. That is what I will be doing here...just thinking about the person I want to be.

Making New Year's Resolutions for me is like throwing a basketball at a goal. I see the goal, I know what it will look like when the ball drops through the net, I even know the proper way to execute a lay up, but I stink at it. Such it is with resolutions. I can write them down to read. I know what it will take to carry through and succeed at the goals I've set up for myself. I even know what it will be like when I achieve the goal, but like shooting baskets, I stink at it.

Therefore, instead of making a frustrating list of resolutions I'll break before I go to sleep again tomorrow, I would like to contemplate the person I want to be. That way, I'm not just taking free throws, missing and giving up after the first failure. It isn't going to be a one-shot, miss and I'm out. I'm setting out on a journey. As with any traveling, some days are easy and we make a lot of mileage. Smooth sailing, not a bump in the road. In contrast other days are going to be slow as we plod along pulling ourselves out of pitfalls that were in plain sight. I'm thinking that each day is new every morning and God gives me another chance to try it again. After all this is going to be a journey and my expected arrival is open ended. God with me on this trip and he wants me to succeed.

I'll be setting out on my journey tomorrow. By the end of 2009 I hope the view from behind shows a lot of mileage has been covered and I'm closer to being the person I want to be. So who do I want to be in 2009? Glad you asked.

ML wants to be:

A better Christian example to others.
A better reader of the scriptures.
A more fit person. (translation: Curves)
A healthier person. ( less sugar, more protein and vegetables)
A happier person. (I believe the Bible says something about being content.)
A person who will trust God more than herself.
A person who helps others.
A person who smiles. (see #5.)
A creative person. (I want to put my ideas in action.)
A person who treats other people the way she wants to be treated. (Love my neighbor as myself.)

I will not be keeping records of all the times I mess up along my journey. Instead, I'll remember to give thanks to God for helping me accomplish any small victory I have throughout my day. (see #6.)

I'll take one day at a time, one step in front of the next. Its all about being a better person and feeling better about myself. The person I want to be is the same person that God wants me to be. Now that I think about it, that would be a tall order if it weren't for God's help.

Mark 10:27

27Jesus looked at them and said, With man this is impossible, but not with God; all things are possible with God.

I'd say I have a very good traveling partner in 2009.

January 1, 2009

2009-01-01T13:09:00.010-06:00

A small theater family gathered on December 31, 2008 to welcome in the New Year of 2009.

As I think about this new year, there are a lot of changes in the making. Now I don't exactly know what those changes are, but God does. A plan has been in the making since Kim and I were even born. Wow! isn't that incredible? Even at 56 years old Kim and I are still receiving God's surprises around every corner.

God showed us mercy when we needed extra money. I got on with UHCL as a teacher supervisor in 2008. I love it too. The students are much older than I am used to, but just as inspired, creative and willing. When the university cut back on our pay, I got a phone call to tutor children in the elementary where I used to teach. I also have to opportunity to test students for the Gifted and Talented program again this year. When school goes on summer break, I will need to have another job to continue contributing to our family income. Prayers are going up on this matter and I believe that God has a plan for us.

Kim is happy in his job at Deer Park High School. Its his second year there, he appears to be more confident in his work. This year he has the opportunity to direct a play with the upper level campus. That's a real plus for him. He's put in an application to work with our local junior college, but hasn't heard from them yet. If he can work with them this summer, it will be answer to prayers for more financial security. Even if he doesn't get to work for them, God is on his throne perfecting his plan for us.

Our theater family is going through changes. We are on the verge of new beginnings with the hope of a brand new facility. Moving forward and planning for continued quality productions, workshops, and events that will benefit not only our theater family, but friends and community as well, is on the horizon. We have new members and young people with innovative ideas for productions. It has been brought to my attention that some of my church family doesn't understand or appreciate the work we do with the theater. We dearly love the people we call our theater family and appreciate their talents, and longing for relationships. One special thing about theater people is their appreciation and acceptance of even the most odd of us. As with most productions, we gather in a circle holding hands before the actors take to the stage. It is in this moment of prayer that I feel the closest to breaking barriers between my theater and church families. God created people to have relationships with each other so that we will not be alone. That is His plan for all of us.

Our church family is going through transitions or maybe its just us that are going through transitions. I pray that we can resolve our problems and move on. We love those people we call our church family. Moreover, like most families we disagree, hurt each others feelings and in general aren't always kind to each other. Its my prayer that our church family would accept and appreciate all of our God-given differences. Unlike our own personal families, we are free to leave the church family at any time we wish. It has crossed our mind to leave. It isn't our desire to start over with a new church family. Like I've already said we love those people at our church. Really we do and pray that 2009 will reveal God's plan not only for us, but for and with our church. I pray that we and the leaders of our church family will see change as a good and Godly act. I pray that they will seek God's will and not their own because God has a better plan.

God has a plan for you too. I pray that you and I will realize God's plan for our lives and our eyes will be open and our ears will hear.

New beginnings, continued old ones, and transitions that are smooth and flawless. I also pray for us to be loving and accepting of each other. We are all just trying to make it through this life doing what we know how to do. Those thoughts are in my prayers for 2009.

God bless you all!
ML

Update From Me

2008-12-30T09:20:00.006-06:00

Today I am working alone, flying solo, having it my way...in other words, I'm free to do as I please. Kim has gone to a rehearsal at the high school today. Can you believe that? The holiday break is not over yet and Kim called a rehearsal. I wonder how many of the students will be absent?

(I've created a new blog specifically about my life with the theater teacher. It is called Life is a Stage. Check it out.)

Christmas with the kids was a lot of fun. We had it the Saturday after Christmas this year since they were in other places on Christmas Day. All three boys, the grand kids, the daughters in law and the in-laws were here to celebrate the day. As you can see from the photo, its a chaotic time when the Martins all get together. It is also a really fun time.

I love that Regan had to put on her princess dress from Uncle Ryan the minute she got it, complete with tiara. Aidan was trying out some binoculars he got, Pawpaw is putting his "stash" in a safe place and everyone is talking at once. I love to listen to everyone and to watch those grand children play. They are never still unless a good movie is on TV.

My favorite gift this year was aprons I sewed for my daughters in law and my granddaughter. The problem was that they didn't get finished in time. With the play Kim and I worked on at the theater lasting up until just before Christmas, I got a late start on everything. Right after the play closed on the 14th, I still had some days to work with the university and my interns. I completed one apron and almost 2 more, but the night before we had Christmas, I sewed until I couldn't stay awake. So I wrapped what I'd done and let Kari open her's first since it was the one completed. The other girls got to see the fabric and what their apron would look like. I have now completed one more and hope to finish the others today. I enjoyed choosing fabric patterns and colors that I thought fit each person. Now whether they will use their aprons doesn't really matter because I had fun making them. Seeing their reactions and knowing I'd chosen each one specifically for that girl was a satisfying feeling.

New Year's Eve is tomorrow and we are going to a party at the theater. We won't have a lot of people there, but we'll have fun ringing in 2009 together. Someone has a karaoke machine, we are bringing a game and everyone is bringing food. Since it isn't an official theater party everyone is also bringing champagne to share for our midnight toast. I have always enjoyed going to the theater on NYE and being with our friends.

Happy New Year to all of you in 2009!

Christmas Is Coming, the Goose is Getting Stewed!

2008-12-18T08:52:00.015-06:00

Do you people realize how close it is to Christmas Day? I barely remember Halloween or Thanksgiving! The pictures of Regan and Aidan dressed up like Red-Riding Hood and The Mummy are still stuck on my fridge door. I still have marinated green bean salad leftovers from Thanksgiving inside of my fridge for crying out loud. Where have the days gone?

I got an email from one of the Zchicks (some ladies I lived with in Zellner dorm at ACU in the '70's) who lives up north. She always decorates, puts up a Christmas tree or two and does a lot of gift shopping. She commented in her email that all that was done, she was ready for Christmas and that Christmas Eve was a week from tonight [Wednesday]. What? You say, "A week away?" Is that all, just 7 days? I was shocked! Was I to believe that this holiday so many people anxiously await to arrive is a mere 168 hours away? I have done nothing to get ready. No decorations, no Christmas Tree not even a chestnut roasting on an open fire.

While I feel the need to do something about my current unpreparedness, I am not so much as a bit compelled to begin on what is surely to be a very tiring task. Although, I should want to get into the Christmas spirit and decorate, buy Christmas presents, and in general be jolly; I can't seem to muster the enthusiasm to move from my chair to the attic where my tree is still stored in its box. (That pic is from last year. Too bad I didn't just leave it up.)

The thought of circling Wal Mart in search of a decent parking place is eclipsed only by the image of sardine-like shoppers, displaced articles off the shelves, crying children wanting nothing more than their homes, and in general the chaos that will besiege if I dare to stop. Why would I want any of that? Sort of makes me want to slap that smile off the Smiley Face.

Five days ago the play that Kim and I directed at the theater closed. Yesterday I washed shirts and towels used during the show. There is still a big box of props in the corner of our breakfast room. Today I need to take a few costumes to the cleaners. The musical scores, however, were counted and it was discovered we are short by two scores. But I digress.

All of that said about the play was to point out that in addition to our paying jobs, we were very busy otherwise and have just let Christmas happen all around us without getting involved. In spite of hearing Christmas music on the radio, observing and being trapped in the lines of cars on Garth Road, noticing the occasional Blue Spruce tied to the top of a Suburban, or the car with antlers and a big red ball on the front grill, we just didn't notice it was time for Christmas. Though I would like to join all the bustle, I can't for some reason gather the wherewithal to get into Santa's big scene. What is wrong with me? Have I been Scrooged?

Here's the plan: I'll get out of this chair, out of my pajamas, into the shower and into some real clothes. That's a good start don't you think? Then, perhaps I should put on some Christmas music. Although I've been listening to holiday music for days and days. I'll give it a try anyway. Maybe a new mindset will make the difference. Next, I will put the Christmas wreath on the front door. All that requires is fixing the hanger on the door and putting the wreath on it. The box of wreathes is already out of the attic because we needed one of them as a prop in the play. After that, I will see what I can haul down of the other Christmas decorations including the artificial blue spruce. If I'm not flat on my back in the floor asleep, I'll eat lunch, vacuum the floors and maybe get out and try to shop. Although, I could make my own Christmas presents this year and avoid all that craziness in the stores. Of course, that does require effort on my part.

With a plan in writing, I can do this. Right now, it looks as if I'll have to skip down the list to lunch since its noon. Hmmm, do you think that means it'll be time for a nap soon? I'll let you know how it goes.

We Need A Little Christmas

2008-12-13T15:16:00.001-06:00

Kim and I have been directing and working on the play “Mame” at the Baytown Little Theater recently. A featured musical number in the show is the song, “Need a Little Christmas” in which Mame, her nephew and faithful staff sings and decorates their house in an attempt to capture a spirit of cheer. Set in the depression era and the great Stock Market Crash, Mame suddenly finds herself without funds to pay her staff and barely enough money to eat more than Shredded Wheat for dinner. Knowing that Christmas is the one time of year when they are happy and even though their situation is bleak, they realize their need for the holiday.

Like Mame, we also need a little Christmas. Not just the holiday with the lights, ornaments, trees, and gifts, but Christ the child for which Christmas is celebrated. We need Christ in our lives. God sent his son to be born in a manger on a cold winter night in Bethlehem. He sent us a little Christmas in the form of Baby Jesus to save us from our sins and our earthly struggles.
Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is Christ the Lord. This will be a sign to you: You will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger.

The phone rings and a creditor demands payment. We need a little Christmas. A loved one has passed from this life. We need a little Christmas. Hurtful words pierce our hearts and forgiveness is difficult. We need a little Christmas. The teen stormed out of his parent’s house with shouts of hate. We need a little Christmas. A single mother weeps as she puts her child to bed without a hot meal in her belly. We need a little Christmas. The laborer’s only vehicle to work sits dead on the driveway. We need a little Christmas. We are losing faith. We need a little Christmas.
Suddenly a great company of the heavenly host appeared with the angel, praising God and saying, “Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace to men on whom his favor rests.

Christ is born. Glory to God!

(Scriptures: Luke 2:11-12, 13-14)

Today Is December 9

2008-12-09T20:29:00.015-06:00

My attempts to post a blog entry lately came up with shallow content. I wrote and deleted; posted and deleted. Nothing seemed to convey where my thoughts have been.

Then, a while ago I noticed the date. Grading student assignments and posting dates for tomorrow, I'd not paid attention to the date. So when my eyes fell on today's date at the top of a friend's blog, all I saw was December 9, 2008 and it hit me. Today is my daddy's birthday. He would have been 90 years old today. It's hard for my mind to wrap around that Daddy could have been that old. He's still 77 to me. Right where he was when he left us.

(The photo above shows the six Ritchey siblings. My daddy is sitting in the chair on the left.)
Born Elton Lavarne or Lavorne (Mama Ritchey wasn't even for sure which spelling was correct) Ritchey, nicknamed "Jiggs" was born December 9, 1918 in Oklahoma. He was the fourth of six siblings born to John Renrick. and Beulah James Ritchey.

Remembering where he was and how he looked the last time I saw him alive, I recall that physical person I saw wasn't actually my daddy anymore. Alzheimer's disease took my daddy's mind away and when it did, he was gone too.

Adjectives that described my daddy would be kindhearted, loving, Christian, firm, soft-hearted, loyal husband, wise, intelligent, self-motivated, lifelong learner, carpenter, handyman, gardener, country music fan, guitar player, singer, comedian and grandfather. I could probably go on and on.

Daddy once started out to drive back to his parent's house in Ryan, OK from Port Neches, TX. He was going to visit my grandparents and help his dad do some home repairs. My brothers and I were in school and so we stayed back with Mom. Daddy was an hour away when Mom answered a phone call from him saying that he just couldn't make the trip without us. Daddy rarely ever went somewhere overnight without us. Even when he worked for some people on their beachhouses in Galveston, we got to join him for the weekend. Daddy was always working a second job of some kind to help the family income.

It is such a shame that my grandchildren never knew my daddy. He would have loved them so much and they would have thought he was just great.

Like I do.

Mame Opens at the BLT

2008-12-08T21:29:00.004-06:00

Mame at the Baytown Little Theater.

Even though putting a play on is a whole lot of trouble, it is quite gratifying when it all comes together. Mame opened last Friday night and played three performances of the musical over the weekend. It continues this next weekend with three more shows. No matter how hard it got to pull all the details together, I kept telling myself that there was an end in sight. No matter what happened the play will end December 14. I am happy to say, the play is very good and apparently the community thinks its a good show too because all the remaining performances are sold out.

Mame

2008-11-25T10:55:00.002-06:00

Baytown Little Theater
presents

Mame

Book by
Jerome Lawrence and Robert E. Lee

Music and Lyrics by
Jerry Herman

Directed by
Kim Martin

Produced by special arrangement with
Tams-Witmark Music Library, Inc.,
New York, NY

Performances
December 5, 6, 12, 13 at 8 pm
December 7 & 14 Sunday Matinee at 2:30 pm

Fond Thanksgiving Memories

2008-11-17T07:51:00.008-06:00

(This picture of my family was taken December, 1977. Jason was 10 months old. Pictured at the back left is Cynthia, my brother's wife who passed away 6 short years ago, her husband & my oldest brother, Johnny, beside him is our brother, Richard, and my husband Kim. Seated left is Mama [Louise Ritchey] gone now for 15 years , I am holding Jason, and my daddy [Elton "Jiggs" Ritchey] gone for 10 years.)

This morning I am reminded of Autumn days many years ago. As Thanksgiving approaches I remember how my mother began days even weeks ahead picking up ingredients on grocery store runs to prepare her scrumptious recipes for our "feast". The day and night before Thanksgiving, she would bake pies, cakes, and prepare cornbread for the cornbread dressing to go with the turkey. My mom was a wonderful cook.

On Thanksgiving morning I'd wake up, go to the kitchen where my mom would have been up for hours cooking. My dad would usually be seated at the kitchen table with his breakfast and coffee listening to the radio or Macy's Thanksgiving Parade would be on TV. If it was cold weather, the small space heater in the corner of the little dining room would be warming the room like toast. Even though mom had been cooking for hours already, she'd ask if I wanted a scrambled egg or oatmeal for breakfast. It may just be my fading memory, but I don't think my parents ever woke up grumpy or at least they didn't show it. Also, I rarely ever heard them argue and really can't recall if I ever did. Mom and Dad were both affectionate and often were seen smooching in the kitchen. We rarely ever saw each other or said good bye without a kiss. I miss that family affection and public display of love.

In those days Thanksgiving was either at our house or my aunt's house. Mostly it was at my parent's house. Either way, my aunts and my mom could cook a feast fit for a king on those Thanksgiving days. The warmth of the oven was equaled only by the warmth of family love as we exchanged stories, jokes and laughter. I felt a genuine happiness and contentment being with my loved ones. We were family and I for one never thought of speaking mean to them. (That's not to say I never said a sarcastic comment to my brother. Sorry, Bro.) These were my relatives and I loved them deeply. I would not come to realize just how deeply I loved them until some of them were gone and our Thanksgiving feasts together were a thing of the past.

As the temperature has turned cooler lately and Thanksgiving approaches I close my eyes and picture those past holidays with my family. Even though my parents have been gone all these years, the love I feel for them remains immense. It's still so hard to believe they have left this earth and tears will often fill my eyes as I miss them so much. I won't get to be with them at Thanksgiving ever again. My family is in my memories which are only filled with love and warm feelings of happy holidays, warm hugs and a very loving family.

(The photo here was made Thanksgiving, 1977 and pictures four generations. Jason at 9 months, Mama Bond, my grandmother [Mama's mother], Mama [Louise] my mom and standing behind her, a much younger version of me.)

One Year Ago

2008-11-06T09:46:00.003-06:00

One year ago, I was into my first retirement year with no schedules or daily agenda to move me too early out of the house. I was, however, involved with a play at the theater. That served to keep me busy during the day as I searched for props and costumes. Now one year later, I am once again involved with a play at the theater doing the same things, searching for props and costumes. However, this year I add to that task, a couple of part time jobs that keep me busy enough to make my day seem like full time work.

I supervisor a nice group of young women as they student teach in area elementary schools. Enrolled in a nearby university, the intern course not only requires their presence at the elementary school one day a week, but they also have to write papers and complete assignments. All of which I have to grade and along with evaluating their teaching abilities assign their semester grade for the course. Its my task to read and score all of their assignments and return them to the students in a timely manner. Even though reading college students' papers are more interesting than reading third grade students' papers, I still get sleepy while reading.

Also, new from last year is a small tutoring group I've recently began to teach at the same school from which I retired. I marvel as I work with these students who are the same ages of the children I had in my classes as a full time teacher. These sweet children seem so young and much smaller than I remembered. Its funny what being away for a year will do to our memories. I forget how much older those 8-9 year old children appeared and how I expected them to be so much better behaved. When really, they were children being little children, and some with dysfunctional families, children forced to be adults at home. Perhaps I expected too much from them. This small group of students who are in need of assistance to be able to pass the state mandated test in April, are really just little kids. I'm enjoying them since it's a little like grand parenting. I get to enjoy our short time together and when we are finished, I release them back to their teachers and I get to go back home.

I guess the point of this blog entry is simple a reflection on where I was a year ago and where I am today. A year ago my day started out in my gown, coffee in hand, seated on the couch with my laptop. I may or may not go anywhere depending on what other little chores I had to complete, which were few. Today not only do I have errands for the play we are working on, I have the part time jobs to keep me busy. Its a good thing too because I needed a reason to get up every day, to shower, fix my face and hair and be productive. However, I find that at times I'm a little more productive than I'd like to be.

The downside to my retirement is less income. Not that I want to buy a lot of stuff, I just don't want to be wondering how the bills are going to get paid every month. Bills left over from years past are still around and I labor over the thought that retirement was premature on my part. So I ask myself as I look around the schools I am visiting, "Do I want a classroom again? Do I want to make out lesson plans, discipline the disturbed children, work with administration again?" Then I recall headaches, stomach upset and over whelming feelings of too much to do and I have to answer with a resounding, "NO". I do not want a classroom of my own.

Doing work with the interns and students I tutor keeps me active. The real fulfilling aspect of supervising interns and tutoring children is that I feel more respect than I ever had as a classroom teacher. People listen to me as a university supervisor and they seem to think I know what I'm talking about. They trust that I am doing my job. No one is looking over my shoulder making sure I have all the TEKS in my lesson plans or recording my students' scores properly. My university administration I'm sure has its problems, but I feel like they respect who I am, my degree of education and experience enough to let me do my job without sending the message that they do not trust me. I am able to have time to volunteer with the theater and still have time to earn money to supplement my retirement check. Maybe I'll find another job one day that pays more, but one thing is for sure, it won't be a full time position in a public school classroom.

Free My Soul

2008-10-26T23:14:00.007-05:00

Freedom in Christ. The women in this photo are free to worship their Lord without fear of being judged by anyone. All of the women in this place love the Lord. March of 2007 I was right behind these ladies lifting their hands in praise of the Savior. Watching them encouraged me and lifted my soul as I observed their witness.

This past weekend I had the opportunity to join my friends at another gathering of the Women of Faith, a conference held each year in major cities across the nation. Filled with women from all flavors of Christian faith, the air in the coliseum was charged with the electrifying energy of thousands of Christian women singing praises to their Lord. Singing never felt so good and lifting my hands to the Lord never felt so right. My soul was soaring. Several speakers, comedians, singers, and dramatist used their God given talents to spread the news that we are saved by grace and that God's infinite mercy was worth our rejoicing. Praise the Lord!!

Not all worship assemblies can be as electrically charged as the ones my friends and I got to experience. Oh, but wouldn't it be marvelous to experience the freedom to worship...REALLY worship in our home assemblies? Free from all fear of others who won't understand? Free from those that would judge our motives behind our actions? As the song says, "There's a stirring deep within me...I will rise up, rise up and lay my crown at His wounded feet." I want to be able to sing that song with all my heart and soul with my hand lifted high to the Lord. But not in the place where people don't understand. Not there because not only would some not understand, but others would feel compelled to tell us to stop. It discourages me and saddens my soul when that happens.

I begin to feel as though the rules are chains wrapped around me locking in that which longs to be free. The air in that place is heavy as it bears down on my chest and my soul cry out for mercy. I long for a fresh breath of air to come into that space where it can rejuvenate tired souls and we can breath in the springlike grace of God's spirit. Jesus has set us free to joyfully praise his name!

Lord, Give us the freedom and boldness to dive into a meaningful place within our hearts and souls to be with you. A place where we worship your name and where there are no rules to do that which we are lead to do. Lord there is strength in your name. It is in that name that we petition you to walk with us along our way and give us the strength to live for you. It is in the name of your son Jesus that I pray. Amen.

A Lot Happens in 30 Days

2008-10-13T11:04:00.005-05:00

The first picture is a shot of our backyard before the hurricane. The other two are after Hurricane Ike hit. Now most of the tree debris is gone. The tree stumps are not, but we hope to get a stump grinder out to take care of that. Stump grinders are in abundance now and we get daily fliers, business cards and visits from various workers asking to do the job.

The only thing we really need back now is our cable, internet and telephone service. We are pretty much back to normal. Which is a lot more than I can say for many families here in Baytown hit much harder by the hurricane. The storm surge ripped through many homes not far from our house. The houses were flooded with water and sewage making all that touched the flood waters worthless. Piles of furniture, appliances and personal belongings sit on the sides of streets as a reminder of the devastation a hurricane can do.

We lost 3 trees in this storm and our house escaped with minimal damages. We were blessed.

Please keep all the others in your prayers that are having to deal with their greater losses and wondering where they will be in another month.

A lot can happen in just one month.

Fret Not

2008-09-09T01:33:00.002-05:00

If you watch CNN or the Weather Channel, you have seen and heard about some fretful matters in our world. A nurse in the Army Reserve talked to me about coming back from Iraq last March and of her upcoming deployment in January. After her four-month long tours, she returns to Baytown and her job at Methodist Hospital. Life back to normal, she didn’t appear to fret over her upcoming return to Iraq. We casually sat at a dining table with a third friend, laughing and talking. I was left to wonder why she wasn’t hiding in her house wringing her hands in the dark? When she told me that her hospital unit had been under attack five times, I asked if she was scared. She readily replied, “yes”. Even the calm soldier frets under the dangers of war in Iraq.

Hurricanes spin their way through warm waters blowing up a storm and disrupting life as it slides across land in its path. Threaten by Gustav; we watched the weather, prayed that Gustav would go away from us and spare poor New Orleans. Our prayers were answered and without even so much as a drop of rain, Gustav turned away. Then, as it made landfall to the east, we wondered how New Orleans could withstand another hit three years after Katrina devastated people’s homes and left others homeless. Our prayers again were heard as the storm slowed coming on land, lessening its hit to Louisiana. Thousands of evacuees exhaled in relief and journeyed back home, many with prayers of thanksgiving on their lips.
Wars and storms will leave us fretting if we allow it. We don’t need to fret if we believe God’s promises.

Psalm 37: 1 says:

Do not fret because of evil men or be envious of those who do wrong; for like the grass they will soon wither, like green plants they will soon die.

Also, Matthew 24:6 tells us,
You will hear of wars and rumors of wars, but see to it that you are not alarmed.

Jesus calmed a storm when he …rebuked the wind and raging waters. (Matthew 24:6) Just as the disciples were afraid of drowning even with their Savior nearby, we also fret even though the Father is still nearby. Jesus asked the disciples, “Where is your faith?” Could Jesus be asking the same of us today when we worry and fret over storms out of our control?

When storms persist and wars continue, have faith. He won’t tell you to “buck up” or “get tough.” He’s been where you are. He knows how you feel. The Father is with us to still the storm and calm the soldier. Who’s to say he won’t do the same for you?
(Lucado, Max. Traveling Light, (W. Publishing Group: Dallas, TX, 2001) 101.

Department Store Hell

2008-08-21T19:28:00.004-05:00

Have you ever shopped in what I call a "low end discount department store?" What I mean is one that is known for its low prices on name brand items. Sure, you can save a buck, but you have to wade through a lot of crap first. Those clothes may not be this season or even last season, but by golly, they are Name Brand!

Name brands mean nothing to me. I didn't go in that store to find a name brand top to wear under my much too revealing dress. Just about the only name brands I know are Sag Harbor and Bobbie Brooks; one of which is now sold in Wal-Mart. There were too many choices like type, colors, sizes, fabric, solids, floral or patterned, and the clearance items appeared to be mixed in with the regular priced items. It really resembled a garage sale.

Some clothes had fallen off the hangers and were flung across the hanging rack making it an annoyance for anyone moving hangers to see other clothing items. I can only assume that when the item of clothing fell off the hanger, a customer decided they were doing the store a favor by throwing it on top of the rack of clothes, instead of leaving it on the dirty floor. Furthermore, the whole bending, stooping, picking up, and flinging of the garment must have worn said costumer out so much because they didn't even put it back on the hanger. I mean...really. How hard can it be to hang it back on a hanger??

The thing that really disturbs me about walking through a "bargain basement" type of department store, is the people who shop there show no respect for the store, the merchandise or even themselves enough to handle the items with care. The shoe department looks like a war zone of dead shoes strewed up and down the isles and laid out on the shelves minus a mate. I just don't have the patience it would take to find a matching pair of shoes in all of that clutter.

After my dissatisfying trip to the fitting room, I emerged from the hot musty smelling dressing room imagining that this must be what Hell is like. Hot skanky smelling dressing rooms, ill-fitting clothes, messy floors and things of all sorts thrown around like confetti. I felt sleazy as I left the store.

It is amazing to me that places like that stay in business and that people continue to give in to their Siren cries of discounts. What was I thinking when I walked into that "Den of Disarray?" Yet, I must confess, this wasn't the first time I'd ever ventured into such a department store. Oh no, I am a shamed to admit I have attempted to find clothing there before and failed. So, why did I think it would be any different this time?

At least I didn't leave my money with those money changers. Like Satan, I must put that store behind me. I must pray never to be lured through its dank doors again. For now, I have escaped the disorganized, dirty, drab, dismal, Department Store Hell.

Today Has Enough Troubles

2008-08-18T23:07:00.017-05:00

The other night, Kim and I had our small group from church in our home for a time of Bible study. Our text was Matthew 5:6 Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled.

The question posed was, "What does righteousness mean?" Someone answered that it was "being right in the eyes of God." Another person questioned the meaning of the word, righteous. All agreed that the word is more of a religious word and not one used by people not familiar with what might be considered religious buzz words. So, how does one relay that message to hunger and thirst for righteousness to the un-churched, that is, one who isn't connected to any religious organization? What does the word righteous mean? Furthermore, why seek righteousness in the first place?

Righteous--1: acting in accord with divine or moral law : free from guilt or sin (Merriam-Webster Online Dictionary).

Hmm,...still a lot of religious words in divine or moral law. However, free from guilt or sin might speak to the common man a little better if it weren't for that word, sin.

To be guilt or sin free is not possible and being righteous is not as easy as it sounds, is it? Who was the only righteous One? Jesus Christ. Isn't being righteous like Jesus is righteous a pretty tall order? Fortunately, God has us covered. ( John 3:16)

Although, I would like to back up to the root word, right, for a better understanding of the meaning of righteousness.

Right--1: righteous, upright2: being in accordance with what is just, good, or proper <right conduct> (MWOD)

Surely, all would understand the word good. Every child has heard often to "be good." So, to be right in the simplest form is to be good. But, how does that work with the definition of righteous and having to do with divine and moral law? The word righteous is an adjective and describes someone or something. Jesus is divine, that is, 1. of, relating to, or proceeding directly from God. (MWOD) Therefore, to hunger and thirst for righteousness is to have a longing or desire to be righteous or divine like Jesus. Still easy for the Divine One, but what about Me? How is that possible? Why am I hungering for Christ-like righteousness?

Matthew 6:31-34 talks about our worries of what to eat, drink or wear. As I thought about that text, I could relate to my own anxieties now that I have retired, as to having enough money to pay bills, make needed repairs to the house, buy clothes, and food to eat. Our needs haven't changed much from Jesus' day. We still worry over where we'll get the means to acquire those things. In verse 32 of chapter 6, Jesus is telling us that the Father knows we need those things, but if we seek first his (Jesus) kingdom and his righteousness, all of those things we need will be given to us. That's why we seek righteousness. To be without worries and to trust in God. Think of it like having faith we will have air to breath all through the night as we sleep and into the morning as we wake up. Do we fret over having air? No, its there. We can't see it or hear it, but we know it will be there for us every day. So, why is it so hard to trust that God, who we can't see or hear, will also provide for our needs. If we trust and have any amount of food, clothing or money; it is because of God. First, however, we must seek (hunger/thirst) for his kingdom and his righteousness. When we do that, Jesus reasons in Matthew 6:34, there is no need to worry about tomorrow. Let that sink in, don't worry about tomorrow. That should bring a calm sense to your very soul. We do not need to worry. Furthermore, why should we? After all, each day has enough trouble, don't add to it with tomorrow's trouble too.

Finally, allow me to conclude with a song. As I thought about not worrying about tomorrow, I was reminded of a secular song by a 1970's group, Fleetwood Mac, called Don't Stop. The lyrics may appear to be opposite of Jesus' advice to not worry about tomorrow, but the song has the same message. "Don't stop thinking about tomorrow, it'll be here, better than before. Yesterday's gone, yesterday's gone". For Christians, we can forget about today and look forward to a worry-free tomorrow because God has it covered for those who thirst for righteousness.

To hear a very righteous offering of Fleetwood Mac performing Don't Stop, click this YouTube video link. The Fleetwood Mac band, joined by a school band*, will bring a smile to your face and happiness to your heart. Be blessed, hunger for righteousness and don't worry about tomorrow.

*After some research, I learned the band in the Fleetwood Mac video is the University of Southern California Marching Trojan Band.

Back to School...Sort Of

2008-08-12T10:59:00.004-05:00

In two weeks when the big yellow school buses are zipping down the streets to transport kids of all ages to school, I will be joining them. That is, in a sense I will be joining them. I have gone back to teaching part time and this go around I will be working with college aged students. My part time profession as a adjunct with the University of Houston-Clear Lake, is a new and exciting venture for me. As a University Teacher Supervisor, it will be my task to instruct students within a professional setting and monitor their internship as teachers.

If someone would have told me when I was getting my master's degree that one day it would help get me a job in a university, I would have laughed. When I got my MA, as much as it was for furthering my education, it was for adding to my paycheck. It never occurred to me that some day I would actually use my degree to work with college level students. As a retired teacher with an elementary teaching background, this job will be a different challenge.

Next week I will drive to the university to meet my students. They will be given a syllabus with assignments meant to broaden their outlook of what it is to be an educator. Some of them are going to be nervous about standing in front of a classroom full of children ready to point out any mistake they make. Those nerves will be strained more as they are also observed by their mentor teacher and me, their University Supervisor. It will be my job to encourage, teach, mentor and guide them through the semester.

When I as teaching full time in elementary school, most of the initial excitement about school starting back was seeing all my colleagues and friends again. As much as I looked forward to meeting my students, it was a ton of work to prepare for their first day. This year, I'm excited to have more freedom than I did as a classroom teacher and to be able to work with older students. Instead of putting up brightly colored bulletin boards, cutting out shapes for name tags or filling supply boxes with crayons, pencils and scissors; I will be setting up computer files for each of my 9 students, reading their academic textbooks, and preparing myself to be an effective instructor.

My parents would be surprised that I have signed on with a university. Heck! I'm surprised that I signed on with a university. However, I believe my parents would be proud that I've come this far in my career. It is my hope and desire to always be searching for something else to do with my time and abilities for as long as God will allow. It is humbling for me to think about where I started as a scared just-turned 6 year old student walking into a school building for the very first time. I didn't even know all the letters of the alphabet and my 5 year old grandson can read words going into kindergarten. Now I can be the confident 56 year old instructor walking into a school for higher education. Humbling indeed that God didn't give up on me when I bogged down in self-pity or self-destruction. That He kept whispering in my ear to get up and move on has reminded me often that I am not alone in this world.

This little adjunct job with the university may not seem like a big deal to a full time PhD on the faculty of a major university. But, to a little East Texas nobody of a girl who ranked in the lower middle of her 400+ high school graduating class, who barely scraped up an acceptable GPA to earn her bachelor's degree and had to begin her post graduate work on probation...this is HUGE. I gratefully and with much humility, thank the Lord for an opportunity to give back some of what I learned as an educator over the course of 30 years to young interns. That just boggles my mind.

However, I would be remiss if I closed this post without giving notice to what a wonderful, supportive husband of 33 years I have. He always encourages me and never once has he told me I couldn't success in whatever I set my sights toward. Even though we don't always agree and sometimes he makes me so mad I want to scream, he is my reality check and solid wisdom. Where the rubber meets the road, where it really counts, I know that Kim is there for me.

"Back to School" novels with many new chapters are starting to be written. Let our stories continue.

Cats vs. People: Cats Win

2008-08-07T10:57:00.007-05:00

It isn't easy living with people. They can be rude, messy, noisy, inconsiderate of other's feelings and aloof. Like the song says, "...you always hurt the one you love, the one you shouldn't hurt at all."

However, cats, unlike people, care. My cat, Homer, is always considerate of me. He is a faithful male. I am never ignored by Homer. He follows me around the house and will come lie by my side when I sit down. If I have just woke up or in a mood, he'll place his paw gently on my arm or even my face just to get me to look at him. When I do, I'm always rewarded with a soft rub of his head. He isn't too messy. He tries to keep his litter in the box and doesn't leave clutter on the tables, beds or floors. He trusts me because he knows I love him and would never be mean to him. He shows his love for me. He rubs his head on my foot or puts his cold nose near my hand, he likes to cuddle. Yes, Homer, is more affectionate than many people.

My other cat, Baby, is the older of my two cats and a female. She has silky black fur that is very soft to touch. Baby likes my singing. When I sing, she will come into the room and if possible climb in my lap all the way up to practically breath the songs coming out of my mouth. What a compliment! She does, however, leave things lying around on the floors. To tell the truth, though, I think she is bringing me offerings of her affection. Baby even "talks" to me as she meows her announcements of treasures she brings into the room. Baby does not ignore me.

Cats are loyal friends who love their people and will notice when they walk into the room. They treat their people with respect, never contradicting something they say. They are playful, providing a lot of entertainment for the people in the room as they run with each other. Its sweet to observe how they show affection for each other. If Baby or Homer are outside and come in after a while, the one that was inside will always lick the other one's neck or head. I think it is their way of kissing or greeting the one that was gone for a while.

Homer and Baby never give me cause to question their love. They always greet me when I come home and make me feel welcome. I love my cats. If I should ever find that I'm in a house without people, I know that Homer and Baby or whatever other cat I may have, will be there to keep me company. Cats verses people may not be an even match. After all cats are at an advantage because of their natural ability to love the people who love them.

My Wish I Could Do "To Do" List

2008-07-28T13:52:00.004-05:00

My "To Do" list is longer than my arm. It can be very discouraging when roaming through my house, garage or yard looking for a place to start. The whole needy thing is a work in progress!! Where to begin is the real question here. Which project should get top priority? I don't know. I just don't know. Some of my projects will require muscle of which mine are unfortunately, lacking in the strength department. So, those activities have to be done at a time when my husband is home. That is, home and available. My husband is often at home, but not often available as he is normally completing his own projects. Therefore, timing is everything when enlisting his assistance with a home project.

To refer to my list as "home projects", is to give the false impression that I am actually being creative in my home. No, I just didn't want to write about my home organization, repair, throw away and clean up activity for what it really is, "housework". Not only is it really housework, I am a shamed to say it is housework I should have done long ago. No, my "To Do List" is not so much of a project as it is maintenance. Only problem being that I have to complete the clean up before I can maintain.

So, here is the list for any of you that may be interested. The items are in no particular order, although some will need to be completed before I can begin another. I hope my list will inspire and promote any "home projects" that you have on your own personal list.

Clean out the 3rd garage of all the old boxes. Unpack stuff we want to use again. Throw away stuff we won't ever use again.
Plan and organize a garage sale.
Organize the "office" room. Get rid of so much paper.
Take old books to Half Price Books or sell in planned G.S.
Paint walls in living room and dining rooms.
Replace window treatments in LR, DR, frt BR
Rearrange den so TV is on another wall away from fireplace
Get roman shades for patio doors.
Fix weather stripping on patio doors.
Paint bookshelf in den.
Sell dining room table/chairs to purchase a new one.
Replace chandelier in dining room.
Remodel kitchen, new appliances, paint, and redo cabinet finish and cabinet/drawer pulls.
Reorganize the things in all kitchen cabinets.
Take out the range top and wall oven. Replace with one stove/oven all together.
Build a pantry closet where refrigerator is and relocate fridge to another place.
Remove or move wall between breakfast room and laundry room.
Change out old small pipes of washing machine and kitchen sink.
Weed the back yard plants. Clean out the beds and take out some plants. Plant some of the pots of plants. Remove or cut back large leaf plant behind the house.
Fix or buy another weed eater.
Redo the beds around the house. Take out the poky plants with stickers.
Trim back the hedges. Take out the weeds in the side plant bed.
Enlarge patio area to extend into the back yard for more seating.
Buy a new backyard grill.
Clean den floors and replace the rug.
Get rid of the sectional and purchase new den furniture. May need to sell sectional before buying the new furniture.
Relocate master bedroom to middle bedroom.
Cut a door from middle bedroom to bathroom.
Train bedroom furniture and office furniture from front room to present master bedroom.
plant flowers around the house outside.
Clean out every closet in the house and relocate some of the items either to other closets or to garage sale items or give away items.

See, that's a lot and it could keep going. I wish I could do all the items on my "To Do" list. Some of those things are easy, others are hard and costly. Of course, the number 1 thing on the list should be get up off my bottom and start!

What's on your "Wish You Could Do-To Do List"?

What To Write About?

2008-07-21T13:53:00.006-05:00

Knowing its about time that I posted again, I've been trying to decide on a subject. We just returned from a week at the lake and that was very relaxing. We spent some time with our sister and brother in law at my in-law's lake cabin. It was a good place to get away and change our scenery. As you see from the pictures, the scenery is really nice. The days were hot, fun, relaxing, and a good place for an evening game after dinner. The cabin is on a part of the lake that is not highly populated with vacationers or people. We went to a sandy beach part of the lake to swim and it was so nice. We were the only four people with our sister and brother in law's dog within miles.

I've been teaching a little Wednesday night class at church which I'll be finished with in another week. I took on this class as a favor to a friend. Now that friend is not involved as much at church as in the past and I don't really want to teach. It's one of those church jobs that as a weekly thing, locks you into that position each week. Unlike the adult classes, the teachers for the younger kids don't rotate and it becomes a burden because you're stuck until you beg for a replacement.

Church is going through a lot of changes right now. We're adding more elders and that is a whole 'nother issue. That's all I can say on that subject. There is a lot on my mind in regard to all of that, but I'm not at liberty to put in on my blog. Suffice it to say that we can use your prayers for our church right now.

Our community theater is busier than ever. Our summer musical is in rehearsals now. Chicago will open on August 1. Kim and I will house manage for two of the performances, and we'll work in the box office also. Our son, Kyle, is the director and we will of course go to see it. Our daughter in law, Amy, has one of the lead roles and our son, Ryan is also in the play. Our oldest son, Jason, and his wife Kari and son, Aidan all are performing in Music Man at a church in Friendswood. So we went to see their play and it was just wonderful! It gave me several opportunities to baby sit with Regan while they were at rehearsal or the shows. I liked that very much. Lots of plays on the horizon. Kim is directing Mame in December not to mention his student productions at school. Kyle will also have student productions at his school, so we'll be trekking over to his school to see them. And who knows at this point if I may perform in a play myself?

Well as you can tell, there really wasn't a lot to this post. I hope you all are enjoying the summer. I love the summer time. I know a lot of people complain about the heat, but I'm okay with it. Of course, I have a/c and can stay cool. Okay, well...maybe next time I'll have something to say.

Relationships

2008-07-05T15:51:00.000-05:00

Relationships, from my perspective, are wonderful at its best and challenging at its worst. They can be easy and at the same time very exasperating. Relationships: man and woman, girlfriend to girlfriend, male pal to male pal, partner to partner, church to elders, young to old, kids to peers, adults to peers, employ to boss, and in Jesus' day it was even master to slave. Many more relationships remain that could be compared and contrasted. But the fact remains that any and all relationships take a lot of work patience and tolerance in order to be healthy, honest and alive.

My husband and I have known each other for 36 years and married for 33 of those years. One might think that after all that time we'd never have a misunderstanding or conflicting word for each other. However, whether a couple is married for 33 years or 73 years, that relationship requires work. It might get easier as you grow older together and develop tolerance for the each other's idiosyncrasies. However, our marriage is important enough to both of us to continue to strive for the understanding and love we promised to each other in our marriage vows 33 1/2 years ago. Some friends of mine are celebrating 70 years of marriage this year. The following are some words of advice in regard to marriage, by the wife.

Marriage is not a game, not a contest. You are both on the same team. Always work together. Don’t let anyone come between you, no matter how convincing, how attractive the temptation.

We'd all do well to follow that advice not only for our marriages, but for any relationship. Just substitute the word "marriage" for any relational situation in which you participate. For example: "Church relationships" are not a game or contest. You are both on the same team. Always work together. Don't let "the devil" come between you, no matter how convincing, how attractive the temptation. Give the words of my friend some thought in your dealings with other people.

Most relationships encountered on a day to day basis, don't have vows attached. We don't normally recite vows of loyalty and acceptance to our friends, bosses, or leaders with whom we are involved. The rights of "number one" seem to prevail in many relationships with no evidence of love or respect. Some bosses want, even demand, respect from their employees to the extent that the employees may only respect his authority because of his ability to terminate their jobs. A friend, while loyal to a point, can also be demanding of her friendship. He or she gets their feelings hurt when their friend does not agree with them on a point of personal importance. However, true friends will usually talk out their differences for the sake of the friendship. I have found that my closest, truest girlfriends allow me to bare my soul. They listen and give me feedback with gentleness. I trust their advice and they'll agree and support me all the way. However, not all friendships are as amiable. People should take Peter's instruction to live in harmony with one another.

In the cast of our Christian brothers and sisters, that harmony should definitely be in place. We are taught by Jesus to love one another. There seem to be more disagreements and intolerance within church relationships than most others I've known. Some intolerance appears to come from people thinking their way is the only way. We take offense too easily, not giving consideration to the other person's feelings and not taking time to talk about our different opinions. God's children should never behave so rudely to each other. Church relations deserve as much effort as marriages, and considering the growing number of divorces, they deserve much more.

God knew he had created a flawed species when he cast Adam and Eve from the Garden. He knew that we would need a Savior in order to enter heaven and the divine presence of our Lord at the end of our life. As a flawed creature, however, He gave us the ability to make choices. We don't always make good choices in our relationships. We botch up our lives when we selfishly attempt to laud our power over another human being.

By the grace of God, we can achieve a loving understanding and tolerance for each other in this world. Value your relationships. Work on them. Our opinions are just that...our opinions. Passing them off as facts are just wrong. God can not tolerate wrong. (Habakkuk 1:13)
We recall with humility the words of Rodney King when in 1992 he made an appeal to the rioting crowds, "...can't we all just get along."

Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called sons of God. (Matthew 5:9)

Summer, Time for Nothing

2008-06-25T09:31:00.007-05:00

Every time I hear or sing the lyrics to the popular old song, Summertime, I envision a tall, white stately old Louisiana plantation porch. I'd be sitting in a tall rocking chair with an oriental fan in one hand and a mint julep in the other. Stretched out in front of me are tall moss laden oak trees swaying in the soft warm breeze. The air is filled with the melodic sounds of birds and locust. Ah...no obligations whatsoever at that moment. This is truly summertime bliss.

Summer is the season to wear limp cotton clothes, flip-flops, and shorts. Summer is the time for coffee leisurely sipped while waking up late before a carefree day. Summer is watching our cats stalk lizards among the tall plants in our backyard. Summer is the smell of fresh mowed grass and the sight of blue wildflowers heroically blossoming among the weeds.

Summer is the Fourth of July in the park listening to concerts and watching fireworks soar high into the dark sky before exploding suddenly into a million and one multi-colored glittery strands of fire. Summer is an evening at the baseball park cheering for the hometown team, with high 5's all around as Berkman slams one more homerun into the Crawford boxes.

Summer is melted ice cream, ice cold watermelon, and frosted sugar cookies enjoyed with laughing children. Summer is a trip to the beach and a breezy evening ferry ride across the salty bay waters with noisy seagulls feeding in the boat's wake. Summer is the feel of cool wet sand beneath bare feet.

Summer is lunch with girlfriends in a quaint tea room punctuated by girlish laughter from 50-something aged women enjoying the company of their sisters. Summer is lazy tunes from a late night jazz combo drifting out into the hot night sky. Summer is an evening out with friends who share that special feeling one can only get while sitting outside on a warm Texas night.

"Summertime, and the livin' is easy".

Why the Chicken Crossed the Road, or Chicken Takes a Risk

2008-06-14T09:58:00.006-05:00

Why does the chicken cross the road? Probably one of the most asked “why” questions of all time. The setting is a hot summer day in Texas on a dusty dirt road in the country. The occasional 1957 Chevy pick up truck or slow moving tractor is bouncing its way back up the road to the barn. The white chicken is standing on the side of the road; red comb flopped to one side, watching the vehicles amble by while contemplating her venture to the other side.

Perhaps more importantly instead of asking “why” the chicken crossed the road, one should ask, where it would get her to cross to the other side and what she hoped to accomplish by crossing the road? That would have answered any question of “why” one might have had in the first place.

Where did the chicken think it would lead her once across the road?
The chicken was going to the wheat field she saw just beyond the wire fence on other side of the road. Tall “amber waves of grain” leaned back and forth in the hot summer breeze. Small kernels of wheat gently drift to the ground where they lay in wait for an adventurous chicken such as herself to peck it up. This road crossing could lead to other wheat fields where the little hen could have her fill of grain to eat. The wheat field stretched as far as her little black eyes could see. It presented her with an endless possibility of food for life.

What does the chicken hope to accomplish by eating her fill of the wheat found on the other side of the road?
She thinks that if she eats the grain she’ll produce more eggs and the farmer can sell them to make money. The money will buy grain to grow wheat on their farm, thus ending the need to cross the road. Now the chicken will have wheat on her side of the road to eat. The farmer might also buy a handsome rooster and a new coup where they can raise chicks. Then, the farmer will have more hens to lay eggs. More eggs to sell will mean more money for the farmer and more grain for the chickens. It’s a win-win situation.

Where does the farmer see himself in 5 years now that the chicken crossed the road to get more grain, to produce more eggs for the farmer to sell?
The farmer sees himself on a large chicken farm with lots of hens laying eggs daily. The markets in the city will buy the hens’ eggs. That will bring him wealth and he will be able to afford the two-story farmhouse his wife has always dreamed of owning. All of this just because the chicken took a risk and crossed the road.

So, that is why the chicken crossed the road. However, she wouldn’t have crossed the road had she not seen the potential in eating more grain from the fields beyond the fence.

Therefore, do not ask why someone does a certain thing. Instead ask, “Where are you going with your idea or plan?” Also, ask, “What will you do with what you find there?” and, “What will it look like 5 years in the future?”

There’s a lesson to be learned here somewhere. Perhaps it is this: Take a risk; it is not about why you do it. It’s about what you do with it and where you hope to take it from here.

Endings and New Beginnings

2008-05-31T16:00:00.015-05:00

This has been "one of those weeks". You know the kind where you are trying your hardest to please everyone and get all the jobs done that are on your calendar. Then, in among the hurry of the days' chores, you remember a loss and that wave of sadness washes over your heart for a moment. I had a few of those this week.

An old building where my family and I preformed and worked on many theatrical productions came down this week. The old building had been home to the Baytown Little Theater for 48 years. My participation with the theater group began 33 years ago when my husband and I got married. I have known for a year now that the theater was to be destroyed. Last July a woman having a seizure, drove her car through the side wall of the seating area, fatally damaging the main support beam to the theater. The building was constructed in the late 40's as a grocery store and meat market. It was already way past its prime. So, it didn't take much to cause serious damage to the structure which led to her inevitable demise.

After the date was set to tear down the theater, I made my plans to be present to watch this small, but rather historical thing happen. Wednesday came and I fell out of bed at 7:30, pulled some clothes on, slipped on my flip-flops and drove down to the site with my camera. There were a couple of my friends there to watch too. At a quarter past the scheduled time to begin, the bulldozer's backhoe made the first crunch into the roof of the building, just above the marquee that still held last season's poster. It sounded like a giant animal eating rocks as the jaws of the machine's shovel munched the wood, metal, and fiber glass that once was our box office. A handful of theater friends and onlookers appeared and disappeared to witness the demolition of a building where countless memories, careers in theater and even marriages had taken root. Alongside the numerous theatrical performances, the old building had also played host to many New Year's Eve celebrations, anniversaries, birthdays, and engagements of the actors, families and crew that played and worked inside those walls.

I was glad that I got to witness the demolition because it made the occasion less of a tragedy and more of a bittersweet drama. Seeing the brittle wood splinter like a twig and the rotten walls buckle under the slightest pressure of the shovel, evidenced to me that it was time to bid farewell to this building. On that warm Wednesday morning as I clicked my camera taking pictures of various stages of the demolition, I knew it was the right thing to do. Now working in a temporary space, the BLT board of directors will be working toward the future with plans to rebuild the theater.

Earlier in the week we got news about a dear friend that really is more of a tragedy than a tired old theater being laid to rest. Our friend, who was the associate minister at our church for 28 years, will no longer serve in that position. Our friendship with he and his family has spanned over 33+ years. My husband and I naturally feel sadness and loss over his leaving the church staff. There is a long story behind his resignation, but suffice it to say, his absence will leave a hole in the heart of our church. So many of us came to depend on his wisdom and Biblical knowledge. We asked questions and he always gave us a thoughtfully patient answers. He was available most anytime to help with everything from making coffee, to teaching the proper use of the copy machine, from teaching a class of toddlers about Jesus, to teaching a class of kids to sing classical music. He is always up for a dramatic rendering of a Bible story or singing Beach Boy tunes with a couple of old friends. His knowledge of Bible history is as accurate as the Internet with his research coming from his own library of literature sources and scholarly aptitude not to mention a Master's Degree in Biblical studies. His compassion for those less fortunate often lead him to seek aide in whatever form is applicable to their need at the time. Unlike the theater, there is no replacement in our congregation for one such as our friend and brother. We pray God's blessings on him and his wife as they continue to serve the Lord wherever and in whatever capacity He wills.

Endings and new beginnings are a continuum in all aspects of life whether it be an organization, a church or a life with Christ. The passage of time and events isn't always easy, but with God in control, we must believe that the new beginnings will be nothing short of marvelous. Therefore, I will not look to these endings with sadness but with the hope of new beginnings.

There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven. Ecclesiastes 3:1