All Things Come to an End

This is the 250th entry to ML's Musings. It will also be my last. The oldest entry to this blog is in March, 2005. At that time in my life, I was completing the second year teaching 3rd grade, our youngest son was getting married and our oldest son and wife were giving birth to a baby girl. The writing served to give me an outlet to have my time. My time to write my thoughts about whatever was on my mind. My posts have ranged from poems to song lyrics, my family to my cats, thoughts on marriages, births and retirement.

Why am I closing the blog? It could be said that my drive to write has diminished. Facebook, email, and Twitter have taken over my writing time. Yes, I know its a social network and not composition. True, but I enjoy the Facebook, and email so much because it keeps my friendships active.

ML's Musings had its place and I'm so glad I was able to write. Sometimes I got myself in trouble by writing things some folks at church did not approve of, but other times I was able to put into words some memories of loved ones who are gone or write about my family.

One of these days, I may start a new blog. There are no plans at the time, but keep your eyes on my Facebook in case I do start a new blog. ML's Musings will be officially taken down at the end of May.

Thank you to my friends who read my blog. Good-bye!

Out of Sync Part Two

Recently, my job with a local tax office finished as April 15 came to a close. Those seasonal jobs while good for the pay are not meant to last. So,for these post-tax season days, I have been around the house, trying to find something to do with myself. Although,there is more than enough work around my house and yard to keep me busy 12 hours a day for months, its not what I want to do. My heart just isn’t in it, but it will be eventually.I just have to find my rhythm. The thought of rearranging garage sale items in my garage doesn’t excite me right now.Nor does the task of cleaning out our files, the closets and deciding what to keep or trash attractive to me. I have however, had a desire to work out in my yard to cut back the winter weeds and clear off the patio. That would make me very happy, very sore, but happy.

Next week I have an interview with an office temp agency. Professional apparel is required piling an added pressure on to the whole job equation. Shopping for clothes is not fun for me. I can’t just look for the cute clothes,but I have to really watch the price tag. I fret over the one perfect outfit out of a large number of outfits. Generally speaking, people do not enjoy shopping with me therefore I normally shop alone.

Money issues just frustrate me so much! We have had bills forever like all families do, but I would love to see black $0.00 at the end of the month in the "balance box" on statements. Knowing the bills are more than what we bring home, just makes me sick. There is a guilty feeling on my part because I retired from a well paying teaching job too early. Hindsight really is 20/20 and I see clearly now that I should not have ever retired. Although, I try to tell myself it was best for me at the time and I have to accept it. I realize that I tend to stress too much. My small world is out of sync and in need of balance. It’ll come because I am praying to God that it will. He will care for me as he always has and I just have to let go and let God.